Now that you were unemployed, one might think that you would try harder at life. Maybe make your own food, maybe go out and buy a cookbook to actually show you how? But no. Two weeks in and you were as you had ever been, ordering pizza, lying on your couch, laptop awkwardly positioned on your stomach so you had to crane your neck to see it. Usually at this time of day you'd be scrolling through job bank after job bank, searching for anything that piqued your interest, because there was no way you were doing anything you weren't interested in. You'd stopped at a grocery store earlier to buy beer and had seen a 'help wanted' sign, and for a second your mind had wandered. What if? You could be a cashier, you'd done it before, after all. But you shook yourself out of it, buying the beer and scuttling home, until you were in your usual position, opened beer on the coffee table within reach.

You weren't a big drinker, not unless you were out with the girls, but Yun-Hee and Hei-Ran just brought out that side of you. It was unusual for you to drink alone, but after the day you'd had....

Today was the day the Park's had finally agreed to meet with you. You weren't surprised it had taken this long, you were the one advocating for their daughter to carry a baby to full term, of course they'd want to keep you as far away as possible.

Ha-Young had looked dreadful, her cheeks gaunt and her skin had an unhealthy pallor, you didn't know enough about pregnancy to know what was wrong but even you could tell she needed medical attention. You'd only caught a glimpse of her as she peeked at you from the crack in her doorway, as an attendant had led you to a sitting room where the Mr and Mrs were sat waiting for you.

The father had been fairly quiet, you thought you might have liked him as an employer, he seemed the type to think things through carefully, maybe have a fish tank in his office to ease the atmosphere of the room. Ha-Young’s mother was another matter. She was practically frothing at the mouth as she screamed at you, running herself ragged until she collapsed on the chaise-lounge in a fit of hysterics about her 'foolish of a daughter.' Mr Park had been calm in handing her a brandy, the steady hands of a man who was well used to his wife's ridiculous nature.

"Of course it's not what we wanted for Ha-Young, but it's the cards we were dealt. I have to say I agree with Miss Kang. We can send Ha-Young to the country house for her lie-in, and she can return when it's finished."

"You're sending her away?" You'd in, unable to stop yourself, "this is going to be incredibly hard on her, in so many ways, she's going to need her family around her for support."

He'd turned that calm, fatherly gaze on you then, and you'd felt how many hours of practice had formed this perfection over his gaze, there was a storm burning beneath it. You didn’t want him as an employer anymore. "She will be happy in the country house, and I would also ask you to refrain from any extended contact with Ha-Young, it would do her no good to have attachment to you at the end of this."

You'd been shown out soon after, fire in your veins that you intended to douse with beer and pizza. Which led to where you were now, slumped on a couch which two weeks ago had held two bodies instead of one. Here was where Chen's body had pressed you down into the cushions, smothering you, warming you, soothing the unease that had been festering inside you. Here was where you had thrown caution to the wind and made a choice for you, you'd chosen him.

You sighed, taken a gulp of beer to try and cool your lips, which were burning with the memory of his mouth on yours, the soft swipe of his tongue as he'd caressed your throat-

You got up, frustrated. Chen was gone, gone for good. They could have fled the country for all you knew, you hadn't checked his old apartment or the house they'd been in for fear of being watched by the DOI, but you knew they wouldn't be there. They'd be long gone by now, and whatever he felt for you, Chen's family came first.

You splashed water on your face, bracing yourself on the sink as you started yourself down in the mirror. You somehow expected to see it on you, but there was no difference, you looked as you always had. The bruise on your bottom lip had faded, the marks he'd left on your neck were gone, you were back to who you had always been.

You phone blared in the living room, and you sighed once again before walking over to get it. Yun-Hee and Hei-Ran had been calling you over and over to get you to go out, and you'd been making excuses to avoid it. They'd expect you to tell them everything, they'd try to set you up with someone, they'd get you drunk to the point where you might spill and tell them, but you couldn't risk it. You couldn't pull them in to your crime, you couldn't risk their careers like that. And you couldn't possibly tell them about how every guy you saw just wasn't enough anymore, diminished by the lack of playful spark in their eyes or the curve of their lips.

"Yeah?" You said, picking up the phone, grabbing more pizza.

"Miss Kang?"

You spluttered, coughing, thumping your chest to get the pizza down.

"Are you there?"

"Yes, yes sorry, water just went down the wrong way, sorry, this is Kang Eunji."

"This is Ms Song, from Red Leaf Restorative, I was calling in reference to the resume you sent us for the case worker position."

"Right, yes, of course."

"Would you be available for an interview tomorrow afternoon? It's short notice but we're trying to fill the position quickly-"

"Of course, tomorrow afternoon is perfect."

"Great, does 2:30 work for you?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll just write that down."

She said a few more things, where the building was, how to get to the lobby and who to talk to there, generic admin stuff, but you barely heard her, you were too busy jumping around your apartment like an idiot.

An interview! An actual interview! You weren't going to have to resort to being a cashier with a bunch of high schoolers! Success!!

 

 

You looked up at the building, so similar to the last one. Just as large, just as grey. It almost felt like you were back there, like nothing had changed. Would he approve, of this new direction you were taking your life? It was because of him after all. 14 days of him, 14 days had been enough to change your life and the course it was on.

Inside you were directed to the sixth floor, and it was with slow moving steps that you took the stairs, habitual in their familiarity. How ironic that it was the sixth floor would determine your future yet again.

You were directed to an office, which had a line of chairs pressed against the wall outside it, each chair filled but one on the end. You sat, looking around at all 5 of the other people sat with you. They were dressed more casually than you, but they also looked more at ease. You'd put all of Yun-Hee's heels in your closet, the time of that Eunji was gone. You were done trying to prove yourself to people who didn't appreciate you, now you were comfortable in flats, letting people value you for the work you showed.

You were the last person to be called, and finally you walked into the office where a shorter man stood to shake your hand. "I'm Mr Shin, it's a pleasure to meet you Miss Kang." He gestured for you to sit in the chair across the desk and you took it, an image of Mr. Im sat across from you, fleeting in your mind, gone as quickly as it had arrived. You swallowed.

"Find the building easy enough?" Mr. Shin asked, moving papers across his desk.

"Yes, it was fine." The bus didn't go here, but you’d finally bought a mode of transportation of your own. A beautiful shiny black motorbike that was currently sitting outside.

"Right, well let’s get down to business shall we?" He looked down at what you recognised as your resume, "so it says here your last position was at the Department of Organised Investigation? Impressive, I don't know if we've ever had an applicant from there. Mind telling us a bit about why you chose to leave?"

You'd expected this question, you were ready for it. "I didn't agree with their morals, and the justification they have for the work they did. I don't believe anyone should work for an organisation they have lost faith in." It was bold, maybe too honest, but in your opinion the world needed more honesty.

He hummed, looking down at your resume, "and I did a bit of googling, just procedure, and found that you, correct me if I'm wrong, you were a principle interviewer on the Lotto case?"

You tensed, "Yes, I was."

"Why wouldn't you put that on your resume?"

"We've been told to lay low." You said honestly.

"Ah, of course." He leaned closer, "so which one did you have?"

"Unfortunately any and all information about the case is confidential." Was he actually curious, or was it a test?

He chuckled, leaning back, "alright, alright, but can you tell me what your duties were with him?"

"Interviewing him, attempting to learn any information about them, their group, or what they were doing on the night of arrest."

He whistled, "I could imagine that was difficult. Was it these interrogation methods that caused you to come to us?"

You stiffened, "yes, it was."

"Don't be so tense, if I already know it then you're not breaking confidentiality. We know what brutes they are over there. They give you the whole 'they're prisoners, not people' speech?"

"Yes!" You said, feeling your shoulders loosen. "I was just, can't they be both? Just because he's done some bad things it doesn't mean they're bad people."

His eyes glinted as he laughed with you, "you ever send your boy down for discipline?"

You shook your head, "he deserved more than that. And it's not a productive method to get them to talk anyway."

"Can't trust anything said under duress."

"That's what I said! Word for word!"

He grinned, "well it looks like you've come to the right place. Tell me Eunji, do you believe a man like that can change?"

You thought, could Chen change? Did he need to? "I suppose it depends on which part of them you're changing, but sometimes I don't think they need to. They're good people, they're just doing the wrong things. It's the lifestyle that needs to change, the circumstances that keep them there, which part of themselves they choose to be, nobody is all good or all bad, it's the choices we make that make us who we are."

"Nice answer." He smiled, "I’m supposed to be impartial in interviews, but you're here from the DOI, so I feel like I can have an honest conversation with you. Tell me, have you had experience with suicide?"

You hesitated, "no, but I am trained in suicide intervention strategies."

He nodded, looking at your resume, "yes, first aid, mental health first aid, non-violent crisis intervention, Death notification training, suicide intervention training, trauma informed care... its a nice list of credentials you've got here."

"Thank you."

"But you're lacking in experience, which is not surprising, working at the DOI, it's a surprise you even got on the Lotto case, with your age. Who was your case manager?"

You held back your grimace, "Mr. Im."

"Oh, I see." He paused, "I trust he was another reason for leaving?"

You pursed your lips, but said no more. That wasn't a discussion you wanted to have. Thankfully, he seemed to understand and moved on.

"How do you feel about prison? We often visit a lot of incarcerated peoples to help them transition."

"That's fine."

"And working with young offenders?"

"I'm comfortable with that too."

He chuckled, "I'd ask about your organisation and how you feel about paperwork, but you're from the DOI, I assume you're fine with that as well?"

"Yes sir."

He flipped through the pages in front of him, "there's more in here in supposed to ask you, but I don't really feel the need to. Skills can be learned, credentials can be earned, but it's the heart you've got to have to work here." He looked at you, eyes harder, "you're working one on one with a man who assaulted his mother, he comes at you with a knife he stole from the kitchen, what do you do?"

"What's your protocol?" You asked, because that's what you'd try to follow first.

He grinned, "say you haven't learned it yet."

You thought, "I'd get to safety, then try to talk him down."

"You'd protect yourself first?"

"I can't help him if I'm dead."

You held his gaze for a long moment before he smiled again, leaning back in his chair, "remember that. We do what we can, we're not miracle workers. We never put ourselves in danger to help someone, but we do what we can within limits."

You nodded, back of your mind thinking if running into Chen’s den was putting yourself in danger. Probably.

"I want your self care plan before you start, it's important for us to know your daily care plan, as well as your plan when you're in crisis."

You nodded, then heard his words again, was he offering you the job? You must have looked confused, because he let out a bellowing laugh, "yes, if you want it it's yours."

"Really?"

"You've got a good heart, you'll do well here." He stood, offering his hand, "it'll take us about a week to get your clearance and contract and everything, should be longer but since you've previously been cleared under the DOI, it shouldn't be too long." He walked you to his office door, "I do have one piece of advice, take this week and go somewhere, take a trip, visit family, do something. Getting time off is difficult when you have an active caseload of people who need you, so go and do something before you start."

               And just like that, your life was heading in a new direction.

               And leaving Chen behind.