All my life I've been asking myself what love means, not until I found you.

You helped me believe that love exists and that loving myself is possible, and loving someone beyond what you can imagine is possible. You made that easy for me to feel that I am loved and I deserved to be loved.

You may be wondering how do you make me believe that love exists.

I first met you when we were in high school, it was our first day and you approach me because you were kinda lost and asked me for help. Believe me when I say that talking to people is really hard for me but you made that easy. Talking to you isn't hard, it makes me want to talk to you as much as I can. We became friends, I honestly didn't think that we will be like this because I'm contented with what we have, I'm contented that you're here beside me.

Then happens, I became lost. I lost myself. I almost lose you, but knowing you, you're strong enough to handle that ty me, and I wanna thank you for that.

When I am lost, you found me. I won't say that you fixed me because no one can fix you. After all, you need to fix yourself, for yourself, and be a better version of yourself for yourself and for the people you love. You didn't fix me, but you helped me fix myself, you became my anchor and my strength to keep going, you became my inspiration. I remember telling you that you're a true friend, you asked me how did I know? I simply answered because true friends won't leave you through your darkest times or your better days. You stayed even though I don't know how to love myself, even though that time I don't know how to motivate myself, and almost gave up. You stayed for years, and even now you can still put up to my stupid antics, maybe sometimes you got tired but that doesn't stop you, that doesn't mean that you will give up. 

When we got into an accident, that scares me. That's when I realized that I like you and I can't afford to lose you. I started to fix myself, of course with your help. I want to become the better version of myself before I confessing to you, after all that's what you deserve. You became my motivation, a reason for me to wake up and think that it will just a bad day and it can still be a good day if you want.

Things got easy even without your presence because I know you are there, not by my side, but in my heart. So I planned on how I'm gonna tell you what I truly feel for you. I'm not expecting that you will reciprocate what I feel for you, but I just want to let you know what I feel, and I am happy to have you by my side not as your lover but as your best friend. Things didn't go as plan because you eventually confessed to me. I remember that time that we talked about how jealous you were of Wendy who by the way helping me on how will I confess to you.

"Are you that dense?" You asked me, and I was so confused why did you ask me that.

"What?" I asked you back

"Are you ing telling me that all this time, I am just a friend to you, Seul? Look, I like you. For sake, I am jealous of you and Wendy. You're always here for me, you'll always say yes to my invitations, but when Wendy came into the picture, you're just gonna leave me like that? Am I that irreplaceable? huh, Seul?" You told me without breathing, but I chuckled which made you even more mad and you were supposed to leave but I stopped you. I hold your hand and looked into your eyes. 

"Let me explain first before you get mad at me. Okay, first of all, you're not irreplaceable. Second, I only declined your invitation this time because I am planning on something, which is confessing to you. Third, there's nothing going on with me and Wendy, we're just friends, trust me she might cringe and be disgusted if she heard you say that there's something going on between me and her. Lastly, as I was saying, I'm planning on confessing to you, because I like you, I like you so much, Joohyun and I can't afford to lose you." 

You started crying and I hugged you, "You scare the out of me, Seul. I was thinking that you didn't like me"

I smiled at you, "I can never hate you, Joohyun. I like you even we're just friends or even more than that." You looked me in the eye as if you're telling me that you believe me.

"So what's gonna happen now? Do I have a girlfriend now?" I asked you

"Woah, slow down tiger but yeah I guess what's the point of taking it slow when we both like each other. I don't believe in taking things slow, we can know each other more with what we are now" and with that, I kissed you. Best day ever indeed.

Things are just getting better and better. After a few months in our relationship, you moved into my apartment, it isn't that easy at first we got into a fight but we able to fixed it and compromised on the things we don't agree with. 

On the day of our 6th month as a couple, you said the "L" word. It took me by surprise because I don't even know what love means at that time. I have no idea what love meant for me. You didn't get mad, but you were upset and I know I should apologize to you because I can't say it back, but knowing you, you waited patiently for me to say that. 

Until one day I realized what love means for me. It isn't about the things she do for me (maybe it's a plus point) but I love her because she's Joohyun. Whenever I'm with her it feels comfortable. Bad days can turn into good days. Love is where you can rest, your safe space, and your home. When you love someone, you can be vulnerable in front of them, you can show how weak you are, you can easily tell her what's bothering you. Loving someone is letting yourself to be strong and weak in front of them, you're not scared to show what you really feel, and by that, you just find helping each other. Wherever we are as long as I am with her, I feel at home and safe.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" I snapped out of my thoughts and look at you 

"Nothing, I just realized how much I love you" You were taken aback by what I said because this is my first time telling you that I love you. 

You hug me as If I'm gonna leave, "I thought you're not gonna say it, I thought that you didn't love me. I love you so much, Seul. Thank you!"

"You're my rest, my safe space, and my home. I love you so much, Joohyun"