Yuqi rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt.

 

"I'm sick of repeating the same ," she said. "Yeon and I are just friends, we've known each other since we were toddlers and the fact that you two keep implying things is insulting." She turned her head to the right where an unfazed Soyeon was reading and nudged her arm. "Come on, say something."

 

Soyeon looked up from her book and exchanged a look with Miyeon and Shuhua and then with Yuqi who was staring at her with expectant eyes. "Just let them think whatever they want, what's the big deal?" she said as she shrugged, her eyes already back on the words printed on her book.

 

Yuqi didn't say anything after that, because she couldn't tell the other that she didn't want to start deluding herself into thinking it was true too.

 

How was she supposed to tell her best friend that she had at some point fallen in love with her? Especially when Soyeon had never shown interest in dating and would probably reject her. It would only make things awkward between them and ruin their friendship. It was better for her to keep shut.

 

Well, not entirely, because Yuqi had a special skill to help her keep her secret. She was extremely good at bluffing and always found a way to explain those moments when her acts betrayed her.

 

Like how she always brought an extra lunch box free of any vegetables because Soyeon sometimes forgot hers.

 

"It's suspicious though," Shuhua said. "Definitely what a girlfriend would do," she added and Yuqi wanted to rip her smile off her face.

 

"It's not my fault if Soyeon always forgets her lunch. Am I supposed to let her starve?"

 

"What do you mean by 'always'? It only happened a few times," Soyeon said shamelessly as she was stuffing with rice from Yuqi's extra lunch box.

 

"Excuse me but if it wasn't for me you'd have definitely starved to death long ago."

 

"What?!"

 

 "Look, they're having a couple fight!" Miyeon said with a giggle.

 

"What the hell, Miyeon?" Yuqi asked and before the other could answer she went on. "I'm just worried about my friend's health, alright? Doesn't friendship mean anything to you guys? What? Would you prefer eating happily while her stomach is howling in despair? You should be more thoughtful. Yeah, you should thank me for taking care of our friend."

 

She had spoken without a break, not giving a single chance to Miyeon and Shuhua to reply, leaving them speechless after she was done lecturing them.

 

Yuqi even pretended to have crushes on people sometimes, purposely being obvious about it and secretly getting hurt every time as Soyeon didn't even seem to care. The latter merely glanced at the person and the only reactions she got came from Miyeon and Shuhua who would stare shamelessly and make unwanted comments.

 

Even though, Yuqi still considered herself lucky. At least she wasn't one of those people who had a crush on someone they didn't even know. Meanwhile she spent literally all her time with her own crush, and never had to think twice before holding Soyeon's hand or hugging her because they had been doing all those things since they were kids, it was natural to them and she knew Soyeon would never question it or see it as a flirty move.

 

A flirty move, like the hand that some girl put on Soyeon's arm as Yuqi and her were waiting for their bus.

 

"Hey," the girl said and Soyeon looked up from her book. She went on, completely ignoring Yuqi's presence, "I've been seeing you around and I was wondering if you had a boyfriend?"

 

Soyeon looked at the girl from head to toe, eyebrow raised. "No. Why?"

 

The girl ignored the question and said, "Girlfriend maybe?"

 

"Neither. Why?" Soyeon's voice was more insistent.

 

"I just think you're really cute," she said, getting closer to Soyeon and managing to stand between the latter and Yuqi.

 

Soyeon blinked for a few seconds. "Thanks," she said before her eyes immediately went back to her reading.

 

The girl seemed taken aback at the lack of interest, but she wasn't ready to give up. "What are you reading?" she asked and Yuqi cursed under her breath because she knew the girl had just unlocked chatty Soyeon.

 

"Oh, this? It's about archeology."

 

"Really? It seems interesting," the girl said although it was obvious she didn't give a damn. Soyeon didn't catch that fact and happily talked to the girl for more than ten minutes before she couldn't digest the incredible amount of information about archeology anymore and announced that she had to go, not forgetting to send a sultry "See you soon" as she left.

 

Soyeon laughed to herself as she stared at the girl's back before turning to Yuqi. "She's funny," she said.

 

Yuqi had no idea what was so funny about that girl but she smiled anyway. It was not like she could throw a jealous fit. Soyeon stared at her for a long time but didn't say anything else, instead grabbing her hand and pulling her forwards. Their bus was there.

 

Usually Yuqi would spend the ride talking and preventing Soyeon from reading but that day she only looked through the window, immersed in her thoughts.

 

She perfectly knew that Soyeon and her weren't dating. But still, hearing Soyeon say that she didn't have a girlfriend hurt. And what about her finding that girl funny? Did she mean she liked her? Yuqi was brought out of her reflection as Soyeon nudged her arm, signaling that they had to get off.

 

They both walked from their bus stop to Soyeon's house. Her parents weren't there yet and Yuqi usually kept her company until at least one of them came back from work. Her parents didn't mind. The Jeon's was like a second home to her, just like the Song's was like a second home to Soyeon.

 

Yuqi threw her bag away and hastily kicked off her shoes to go straight to the fridge. She took butter and strawberry jam before slamming the door with one of her feet. Soyeon fetched sandwich bread, two plates and two knives.

 

They sat across each other at the kitchen counter and Yuqi began to stuff with bread. She didn't bother putting something on it as her thoughts were filled with the vivid memory of that girl daring to put her dirty hand on Soyeon. She had been shamelessly flirting with Soyeon while Yuqi could only watch when she actually wanted to kick her .

 

"Slow down," Soyeon said, "it'll go down the wrong way."

 

"What?" Yuqi got out of her trance, "Ah, yeah..." She put the slice of bread she had been tearing down on her plate and chewed more slowly. She couldn't let her emotions show up. She had to find an excuse for acting weird. She gulped down and went on. "I'm just super angry. The school system is awful, you know? We only get to eat once and then nothing until we get home. I'm almost sure it's against human rights."

 

Soyeon kept spreading butter on a piece of bread. "Stop fretting about it," she said.

 

"I'm serious, we should be allowed to eat during classes. Don't you think that would be awe-"

 

"Just for your information, I don't care about that girl."

 

Yuqi laughed, but it was only a defense mechanism to mask the panic going on inside of her. "What do you mean? It's cool. It's about time you-"

 

"You might be able to fool Miyeon and Shuhua but as you like to remind them, I've known you since we were toddlers. When you lie, I see right through it. I know you're upset about something and since it started after I talked to that girl, I guess that's the reason."

 

Yuqi's heart skipped a beat. Soyeon knew. She had found out how jealous Yuqi was and now she knew how Yuqi really felt about her. As she was looking for something to say, Soyeon went on.

 

"Now what I don't understand is how you can feel threatened by some random chick when it's obvious I've always only loved you. I thought you knew that and were just messing with the girls. But you've been weird since earlier so I thought I should tell you properly."

 

Yuqi was speechless for a moment then she spoke. "But then why did you tell her you don't have a girlfriend?"

 

"Because technically I don't have one, or at least that's not what I call you. It doesn't matter anyway. It doesn't change anything."

 

"You let her flirt with you though!" Yuqi retorted and it made Soyeon smile as if remembering a good joke.

 

"I just thought it would be funny to waste her time," she said. I'm sorry if I hurt you, though."

 

Yuqi couldn't believe her ears. Soyeon had said all that calmly like the unbothered queen she was, as if low-key telling your best friend that she's not only a best friend to you was the most natural thing to say. 

 

Yuqi took a moment to reflect.

 

So to sum it up, Shuhua suspected that they were a thing, Miyeon agreed on that theory and Soyeon had no doubt about it. Meanwhile Yuqi had no idea.

 

And just like that, Yuqi realized that she was a clown.

 

__

 

"Mom, Dad... Soyeon and I decided to date."

 

It was with a satisfied smile that Yuqi said those words. After weeks of having Miyeon and Shuhua make fun of her for being so clueless, she would finally get a proof that her and Soyeon weren't so obvious, and therefore that she wasn't dumb.

 

Surely, if her conservative parents had suspected anything she would have heard about it, so she was sure they would be as surprised as she had been. There was no way she had been the only one not knowing.

 

Her father raised an eyebrow, taking off his hypermetropia glasses so that he could see his daughter clearly. Glancing on the side, he exchanged a look with his wife before she spoke.

 

"Honey... Ain't you and Soyeonie dating since eighth grade?"

 

The Songs had to confusedly watch their daughter leave with her feet stomping loudly on the stairs' steps. 

 

She couldn't deny the truth anymore.

 

She definitely was a clown.