The weeks that followed their conversation were rather dull, with nothing special happening as the days passed aside from a few texts from Jongwoon here, a few calls there. Unsurprisingly enough, Hyukjae barely had any recollections of their talk when he was not that sober (he refused to say that he was drunk, or else the shame would be unbearable) but from what Jongwoon was sending him – pleading messages asking for them to talk if he was up to it, asking for forgiveness, asking how he was and how did he feel and did he take some medicine for his hangover and was he feeling okay? – it made him realize that he may have said something that made Jongwoon realize how ty of a friend he was being, but he had no idea exactly what he told him. But still, it was ridiculously annoying how those made Hyukjae’s heart flutter and it was making him feel a little upset because was he really supposed to feel this giddy when Jongwoon was doing the bare minimum? Was he really supposed to be this happy because Jongwoon was doing what a normal friend would do and actually cared to ask if he was okay?

..Right. Friend. What they had was still unknown, so how could he know how to feel about this?

He missed him and wished for Jongwoon to be there with him again, just so he could hug him and feel safe and comfortable in his arms. He wanted him to be around so they could go back to their routine of playing together and talking about nothing and everything at the same time, wanted to be able to kiss him and forget the consequences or what it would mean later – but at the same time, he recognized that now, it was doing him good to stay away, to be able to breathe and rethink their “non-existent” relationship and figure out how to move on from there. For some reason, he felt considerably lighter with the distance now that they talked – did they really talk or was he just screaming at Jongwoon? He was not sure, but it was better not to know – and that knowledge made the sadness bearable, as well kept his jealousy and insecurity at bay, because he finally made his feelings known and maybe it meant they will be able to make a move if things between them were okay. What they needed to do now was have another talk, to either put an end to this or to finally start something, so this – the jealousy, the sadness, the depressive state Hyukjae had been in for days – would not happen again. All Hyukjae needed to do was to text him back.

After hours of wondering what he could say and calming himself down from the nervousness creeping up on him, he managed to type a simple “hey, can you come over?” and press send before throwing his phone somewhere on the carpeted floor, furiously wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. It took him long minutes to check on his phone again after it rang a few times, his heart starting to beat fast against his chest when the last reply he read was “I'm on my way”, the reply came so soon and Hyukjae was left trembling because he had assumed Jongwoon would take a little longer to answer and God damn it, he needed a little more time to calm himself down or else-.. the device was once again forgotten on the floor as Hyukjae started to nervously pace around the living room, hand unconsciously coming up to his mouth so he could bite on his nails. The minutes passed slowly almost as if time was dragging and the longer it took for Jongwoon to arrive the more nervous he got, his body was starting to tremble and his head was starting to go over the countless reasons this could backfire on him and what if Jongwoon decided to give up on him now-

Three knocks on the door caught his attention and for a second Hyukjae forgot how to function, as if his mind had completely given up any control on his body. Still, he moved without noticing and with a desperation that was unlike him, belatedly realizing that he had opened the door and Jongwoon was standing there, looking at him with that gentle look again, a mix of relief and happiness clear in his expression that changed just lightly when Hyukjae managed to croak out a tiny hyung. Those words were enough to make Jongwoon pull him to his arms, the hold so tight and secure and it felt so nice, so comfortable, that Hyukjae had positively melted against him, arms wrapping around Jongwoon just as tight and pulling him a little bit closer just so there was no space left between them. It felt stupid the way Hyukjae was feeling emotional over this – as if the fact Jongwoon cared was enough to make his heart flutter and make him feel like maybe, he really meant something for him.

“Hey, as much as I like having you in my arms like this,” Jongwoon started gently and leaned back just a little to look at him. “Shouldn't we go inside? I think we already gave your neighbors enough to talk about.” Only then Hyukjae realized that the door was still open and they were still at the entrance of his apartment, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks when he quickly detached himself from the hug. “How have you been?” He asked tentatively as he took his shoes off, a small smile appearing on his lips when he saw the way Hyukjae was fidgeting nervously after locking the door. “Hyukkie, I’m not going to bite you. No need to be nervous.”

“I know, it’s just..” Hyukjae swallowed hard, chewing on his lower lip as he tried to think of what he could say. “I just thought.. I don’t know, I thought you would be upset with me? I don’t remember what I told you that day with how drunk I got, so I just assumed the worst.” He explained and blushed even further after admitting that, though Jongwoon only smiled. It was expected – with the way Hyukjae had drunk that night, Jongwoon worried if he would be able to get home safely and if he would even remember what had happened. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t, but it was fine. “I’ve.. been well, to answer your question. But come in, I don’t think this is the best place for us to talk.” He followed as Jongwoon walked towards the living room and chose to sit on the far end of the couch with his legs close to his chest.

The silence that settled between them as soon as they sat on the couch left the room filled with tension, an uncomfortable feeling creeping up the longer they stayed quiet – there were a lot of things to be said but neither of them knew how to say it without having that fear in the back of their minds that everything could be ruined if they said anything wrong.

“You know, I wasn’t upset at you that day.” Jongwoon said suddenly, making Hyukjae look at him wide-eyed. He almost laughed at the confused, lost look in Hyukjae’s face but held back, choosing to shift his gaze at a random spot in the room to try and think carefully about what he would say next. “I guess you don’t remember what you told me that day, but to sum it all, you pointed out all the things I did that hurt you and apologized before you left.” Hyukjae’s cheeks flushed in a deep shade of red – why had he done that? Why did he apologize and why did he leave? That was such a dramatic and ridiculous move and- God, that was mortifying