Time passes in the palace with more ease than you expect. It makes you wary, because there is no way things will stay this calm forever. The storm must be building, even if you cannot see it.

So far, you have managed to avoid sabotage from the concubines. They do not bother to hide their contempt for you, but do not provoke you. Perhaps because of the fact Zhaohui rarely visits you, they feel like you are not much of a threat. Although you miss him, you have to admit this might be for the best.

Of course, things are bound to change and complicate matters.

Today has started out normal. You woke up a little later than usual, but you have been feeling tired lately. You have just been too lazy recently, because you do not feel sick otherwise. If the servants have noticed your fatigue, no one has said anything.

Because of the late start, you had to put off breakfast to receive the morning greetings from the harem. It is good there are only so many of them. The mixture of perfumes and incense has your head aching and stomach rolling. You try to hide how eager you are to make them leave. Fortunately, because of their disinterest, they do not stay around.

“Are you alright, Your Highness?” Shan watches you with concern. “You look pale.”

Weakly, you wave a hand in dismissal. “I am fine. The ladies were wearing too many scents is all.”

Shan looks at Hong, your head eunuch, with bafflement. He can only shrug, because the women did not smell any stronger to him today. His nose is not very sensitive, though. Since he does not appear to be alarmed, she shrugs it off as well. Your nose has always been surprisingly sharp, picking up and differentiating between smells she cannot even recognize. If it happens again, she will have to instruct the steward to decrease the amount of the offensive smells being given to the concubines. Not enough to be more than a mild inconvenience, though, otherwise they might try to retaliate.

As a maid, she is not as smart as you, but she can think that far ahead at least.

Your headache fades almost as soon as you step outside. It is a little strange, but being away from the odors in the fresh air is probably the cure.

I shouldn’t complain. It isn’t like I can ask for some acetaminophen, or naproxen. The thought of the reactions if you try that makes you smile.

Shan would probably assume you were talking about medicinal plants she never heard of, and doctors would think you are crazy.

If only I could Google where to find similar chemicals naturally, is your wistful thought. I would be either regarded as a genius, or…

The amusement fades. Having knowledge that not only should you not have, but that no one has will only make your reputation worse. The people of ancient times will believe you are a witch before even considering divine intervention.

“Your Highness, your breakfast is ready.” Another servant that you only vaguely recognize bows.

Suddenly ravenous, you eagerly enter your room. Sure enough, the table is laden with multiple dishes. Your stomach growls at the sight. At least the food in ancient times is still delicious.

But – when you have sat down – a wave of nausea hits. Hand to your mouth and nose, you peer over the dishes curiously. Nothing looks off, so there is no reason for suddenly wanting to puke. Confused, you decide to ignore it and pick up your chopsticks. You choose a piece of meat – you think it is pork – and bring it to your bowl of rice so you can get a little of both in a bite.

Bile rushes up your throat. You drop the chopsticks, turning away to hide the gag you struggle to suppress. Shan hurries over to you in alarm.

“Your Highness! Are you alright?!” She moves the dishes aside so there is no risk of knocking them over.

You nod, not trusting yourself to open your mouth. It still feels like you will vomit if you try to say anything. What is going on? First the perfumes, now this.

“Should I send for a doctor?” Hong wonders, having moved closer to help Shan with you if you need it.

Dread strikes you. Headaches, nausea, heightened sensitivity to smells, and fatigue are all common symptoms. You try to remember your last cycle, but cannot. You have not been paying attention, because you have no idea if Princess Meizhen has a regular menstrual period or not. You cannot even ask Shan about it without looking suspicious.

Paranoia tickles at the edges of your mind. A quick glance around to see if anyone could be listening has you standing up. The confusion and alarm are growing on both of your personal servants’ faces.

“Come inside with me, I forgot something.”

They do as you say, careful to stay close. Normally you would find this irritating, but it is a bit of a relief. You are now worried about getting dizzy.

Once inside, you signal for Hong to check that you have privacy. He nods once, before quickly moving around to do so. Finding nothing, he returns to your side.

“Hong, is there an imperial physician that you trust?” The request itself is not that odd. Most of the women in the palace have a preference for a specific doctor.

You also know that these personal doctors are often utilized by women in their plots. It is for this reason that you hope Hong can help you.

When he hesitates, you smile encouragingly. “He does not need to be one of the head doctors. I would just prefer not to share with the others.”

Comprehension dawns on his face as Hong understands what you are really asking. Fortunately, one of his friends works in the medicine department. He has frequently complained that no one can bribe the son of the Minister. No matter the amount of money, or severity of threats, he does not break his own moral code. Many have tried to pry private knowledge out of him about rivals, or tried to pay him to obtain poison. He steadfastly refused, and no one dares to follow through to target his family.

He bows to you. “The son of the Minister of Medicine is known for being incorruptible, Your Highness.”

You are a little skeptical. After all, nobles are far more likely to be bribed with power and status, which is more valuable than wealth. However…

“What is his name?”

“Tang, Jinhai.”

The name is strangely familiar, although you cannot place it. Perhaps you overheard your husband say the name one of the times you brought snacks while he worked. You do not think there was any negative connotations so perhaps that means he is trustworthy. You will have to risk it, because you have no other choice.

“Please summon him,” you say finally after worrying at your lip for a moment.

“Yes, Your Highness.” Hong bows before hurrying away.

At least being away from the food has helped the nausea subside. In fact, you are back to feeling hungry. A flash of panic stirs, but you mentally stomp it down. It might be nothing. There is no use freaking out about a maybe.

If only that was actually reassuring.

“Shan.” You glance at her. “Have the kitchen make me a simple congee, please. The dishes I left out there can be treats for you and the others. Hong really likes quail eggs, so save a couple for him.”

The sentimentality is unusual for you, but Shan nods her head with a happy smile. “Of course, Your Highness!”

While she bustles about to fulfill your orders, you rest your head on your hand, eyes closing. It will take a bit of time for the congee to be prepared, so you will have to wait.

“Physician Tang greets the Crown Princess Consort.”

The voice startles you out of the doze you do not remember slipping into. Not too much time could have passed, otherwise Shan would have woken you up to eat. It is really disorienting.

Pressing a hand to your temple, you signal for the doctor to rise. “Please stand.”

You look up at him and freeze.

Yeosang?!

First the man you marry looks like Seonghwa, and now the doctor you hope to retain looks like another member of ATEEZ. You subtly pinch yourself – not dreaming.

Jinhai is patient, observing you quietly. There is the smallest of frowns pinching his brows together.

Feeling flustered – after all, everyone in ATEEZ is unfairly attractive – you sit up straight. You arrange your skirts a little to give yourself time to calm down.

“I appreciate your coming here, I’m sure you are very busy,” you say at last, proud of how steady your voice is. Anxiety is starting to set in again.

If you are correct about what is wrong with you, then your life is about to get a whole lot harder.

Jinhai looks a little surprised by what you say, having not expected such a humble response. He is used to the women of the harem looking down on him and being almost snide. This is refreshing.

“It is my honor, Your Highness,” he says with a small, albeit genuine, smile. “What seems to be troubling you?”

Instead of answering, you simply hold out your wrist. There are many things you miss about modern medicine, but the old ways work surprisingly well. You had assumed dramas exaggerated the use of feeling the pulse to diagnose, but apparently not.

Now Jinhai is even more confused. Most women would launch into an endless list of petty complaints. However, his interest has grown with his curiosity. While he is not as close to the Crown Prince as his friends are, he respects the man. Taking care of you is not only his duty, but he is happy to help.

Setting down the medicine chest, he moves to your side. With a handkerchief he removes from his sleeve as a barrier between your skin and his, he lightly presses his fingers to your wrist and closes his eyes to focus.

You hold very still, willing your pulse to indicate pretty much anything else.

Eyes popping open in surprise, he releases your wrist and steps back.

“Congratulations, Crown Princess Consort. You are about two months along.” He bows deeply.

. . Oh my God, what do I do now?!

Panic hits, making your vision go blurry as your chest tightens. “I have a favor to ask you.”

Suddenly wary, he peers up at you. “Ask, please, Your Highness.”

If you were not so scared, you would be appreciative of his tact. He obviously dreads what you might say, yet asks anyway.

“I need you to keep this a secret,” you say quietly. “I’m not asking you to lie, although I would prefer it. I just want to prevent the news from leaving Snow Lotus Pavilion.”

Jinhai cannot really blame you. He knows exactly how vicious women can be to each other. If it gets out that you are pregnant, you will become the target of all your enemies as well as those against the Crown Prince.

If he agrees to this request, he will be lying to the imperial family. That itself is a death sentence if caught. Your child will be the Crown Prince’s firstborn, too. It is a very important occasion.

When does doctor-patient confidentiality get created, you wonder helplessly.

“I won’t ask you to lie to the Emperor, or Crown Prince,” you add. “However, as long as no one asks…”

Jinhai feels apprehension ebb. Although it is still considered lying by omission, this gives him some wiggle room. He cannot think of any objections, and with the fear in your eyes, he just sighs heavily.

“I will keep this secret as long as the two mentioned do not specifically ask.” Jinhai bows.

Relief floods you so strongly you feel a little faint. The smile you offer him is weak, but genuine.

“Thank you.”

“Say nothing of it, Your Highness.” He moves back to the medicine chest he brought with him.

It is good that he brings a small amount of commonly-used herbs with him. It means he can give medicine immediately without waiting for a prescription to be filled. For this case, it prevents anyone from snooping out what he is using to figure out what disease you have.

“I will write a prescription that is nutritious, as well as beneficial during – in your condition.” He needs to remember not to speak casually. No doubt spies are all around.

You hesitate, before clearing your throat softly. “Do you have any mint leaves?”

The request is strange enough that he looks at you in confusion. Your face feels warm. Did people in this era realize how mint helps with nausea? To his questioning look, you lift a shoulder in a shrug.

“I read that mint can help with nausea,” is all you will say.

Jinhai looks startled, because he certainly has not heard of such a thing. He thought he had managed to read all the medicinal texts. He knows better than to ask for details, though.

“Yes, I can provide you with mint as well.”

As Physician Tang finishes packing up his box to leave, you look over the prescription. By no means are you an expert, so there is not much more you can do if there is poison. You will just have to trust this doctor.

“Tell Shan and Hong to enter when you leave.” You wish you could nap now and discuss this later. Or never!

“Yes, Your Highness,” the doctor says, bowing to you as he leaves.

This is definitely not how you thought your second life would go. Granted, you did not really anticipate having a second life. Still you definitely did not plan on getting pregnant within six months of arriving here. Maybe in normal circumstances, you could have been happy. Who does not dream of marrying well – and Zhaohui is both gorgeous and rich – and having a family? Those people probably are not risking their lives every day to survive the marriage though.

You have seen enough dramas to know what awaits you once your pregnancy becomes public news. Even if the concubines do not target you, the Empress and Chaoxing are not going to allow the heir to be born from you. On top of that, there are all the other princes who might covet the position of Crown Prince. Also any enemies Zhaohui might have collected throughout his life.

There are more people who will try to kill your baby than otherwise.

A hand goes to your stomach. It is still flat and will be for a bit longer. Your loose, flowy dresses will help hide it as well. However, you know you will need to tell your husband before it becomes too obvious.

Not yet.

“Your Highness?” Shan bursts into your quarters, eyes wide, with Hong right behind her.

Seeing you unscathed, both visibly relax.

Belatedly, you drop your hand to your side once you see them notice.

I will need their help. I must tell them the truth.

At a gesture, Hong nods before moving to check out the room. Shan just looks perplexed, and obviously is trying not to be alarmed. It has not escaped you that you have grown more suspicious and guarded during your stay here. If only the two of you knew beforehand, you had no choice but to still come. Dreaming about running away is still pleasant even if she knows otherwise.

Once Hong returns, you take a seat. “I need you two to swear not to tell anyone.”

That puts Hong on high alert. The Crown Prince assigned him to you as protection. If you are seriously ill, then this is not something that can be withheld. As much as he feels lucky to be serving a woman like you, his loyalties lie elsewhere. 

“I’m pregnant.” Your reveal is done quietly, but firmly.

Shan immediately squeals with excitement, while Hong is quietly pleased. This is such great news, he cannot understand why you might want to keep this a secret. Shan seems to agree, because she suddenly frowns.

“Why must we keep this a secret?”

It takes a moment for Hong to understand, though. “You are concerned.”

You nod. “I don’t trust certain people to act appropriately. A lot of them already have grudges against me.”

Shan seems to get it now, because she scowls. “You have done nothing wrong!”

Hong glances at the maid. “Of course not. Those people are just jealous. Unfortunately with Her Highness’s condition, those who are simply jealous will become enraged. Neither Her Highness nor the baby will be safe.”

For her part, your maid looks stricken, as if she never thought of this. You do not know how, considering the harem back in Qin is no different. Why else would the concubine-born half-sister and her mother try so hard to destroy Meizhen? The naïve perspective can be endearing, but now it is not just your life on the line.

Absently, your hand strays to your stomach again. It blows your mind to think there is a little life growing in there. Sure, at twenty-one, starting a family has crossed your mind. Yet, in your last life, you had never even been asked out on a date. Too awkward and shy, it was hard for you to let anyone get close to you. Even more than that, you did not trust anyone with your secret. No one would want to marry a freak like you, let alone have a family.

At least you now have this baby.

You huff softly in frustration as your eyes start to burn. You are not sure if it is from missing your family, acknowledging this would not be happening if you looked like you did before, or if you are just grateful for the chance to make your own family.

You might be Meizhen and Zhaohui’s child, but I will love and raise you in her stead.

A tightness in your chest releases and relief, followed by peace, rushes through you.

“I won’t tell a soul, Your Highness,” Shan swears. “If I do, I’ll… I’ll cut out my own tongue!”

That startles you, and a glance at Hong shows he is, too. When his gaze meets yours, you have the sudden urge to giggle. If you only had Shan and Hong in Seoul! Your life would have been wonderful.

“Alright, I believe you,” you say with a fond smile.

Hong sighs softly to himself, resigned. Hopefully his master will forgive him for not immediately reporting this. Chances are one of the shadow guards will find out and alert the Crown Prince. He will have to beg for mercy for you, when he tries to explain.

“I will stay silent as well, Your Highness,” he promises. “So long as the Crown Prince or Emperor does not ask me directly.”

The bright smile you beam at him makes his face warm. Sometimes you do not act like a princess at all. However that is part of what makes you so charming.

“I appreciate it,” you admit. Turning back to Shan, you arch an eyebrow. “Is my congee ready?”

“Oh!” Looking horrified, Shan rushes out of the room saying something over her shoulder. You cannot catch it all, but something about forgiveness.

Hong bows before backing from the room. There is plenty for him to do normally. Now that he is going to guard your secret, he needs to prepare beforehand. Getting rid of any spies will be his first job. If only he could ask the Crown Prince for help on this.

Once he leaves, you let out a yawn you have been holding in. Maybe after breakfast, you will just take a nap. There are not any pressing matters that require your immediate attention, at least. A nap will hopefully give you enough energy to get through the rest of the day.