Byulyi arrived and walked into her silent apartment calmly. Another day had gone by, and she was tired as usual. She wished she could be as young as before. She used to have no problem finishing schedule at 2-3AM. But now even though it was only 9PM, she already yawned. Time passed by so fast, and it’s been 11 years since MAMAMOO’s debut.

She settled down by putting her stuffs aside and went directly to clean herself up. Spending time in shower was the best therapy to end the day. For some reasons, she can’t really sleep yet so she chose to go her ‘special room’ where she kept her favorite drinks and had a view of beautiful Seoul. It’s her favorite space in the apartment.

She poured the rose wine, took the glass with her and went to rest at the armchair – getting lost in the view. She silent appreciated herself for working hard before, so that she could enjoy the fancy life now. Her apartment is moderately spacious that can even host a home party for 40+ people – except she didn’t do that. Tonight was especially silent.

Suddenly, Byulyi missed the feeling of coming back home to 3 loud and energetic girls – the home was small but full of joy. It was nostalgic. The moment she opened the door, she knew that there’s a group of people waiting to cheer her up whether in both good or bad time. Living in the dorm with the whole team was not at the most convenient, yet there’s good times to look back too. But if Byulyi had to pick, she would choose to live alone. She needed her own space after all. She missed Yongsun’s random scream and Hyejin’s randomness in general.

MAMAMOO was successful till their disbandment after 10 years. They won various grand awards with their hit songs after getting recognition for their talents. They were invincible. However after 10 years during contract re-negotiation, it was inevitable that the members wanted different paths. Their 1st recontinuation after 7 years was because they really wanted to give back to fan since COVID period didn’t serve both fan & MAMAMOO right. But this time, they knew that MAMAMOO can’t be the same without 4 members. Byulyi wanted to keep her radio & TV appearance job, Yongsun wanted to settle down & focus on herself, Hyejin wanted to keep doing music and Wheein wanted to focus on her personal life too. They still hang out from time to time; Byulyi didn’t join sometimes and excuse herself with her busy schedule.

Just as she was thinking about them, her phone’s notification lit up. It was Yongsun.

Yongsun: Moon Byulyi! Look at this video of yourself! you look high, why were you so happy? XD

Byulyi: Because I aged...why are you bringing up the past? It’s so embarrassing sometimes!

Yongsun: I miss our good time from before, and our team T-T so I checked them out. Hey it’s Wheein’s birthday tomorrow! Want to throw her a surprise?

Byulyi: Sorry, Yongsun. I am packed tomorrow. Will make up to you guys later.

Yongsun: You are always busy :(

Byulyi: Don’t be sulky! I will be there on your birthday! :D

Byulyi wondered why Yongsun said she looked the happiest, and decided to check the video. Only 2 seconds into the video, she understood why perfectly. It was from their 2nd year. Was she ready for this? She was never ready to look into this, but tonight with the wine digested in her system, she chose to open the wound and dig deeper.

She knew exactly who and why made her that happy. Heck, she can’t even be as happy as that time now. She can’t even function in relationship anymore. She even thought she was never capable to love. Of course, she had been dating here and there carefully, yet it always ended quickly. She can’t stand them. In vice versa, they would complain the same thing that Byulyi never put her feeling in. She admitted that.

If Byulyi decided to hurt herself tonight, she went all the way. She opened Kakaochat, and reread the old message. She realized that she was once be able to madly fell in love – which was something she can’t function these days, or past few years.

As she spent hours reading them, her memories played like a scene back too.

One thing for sure, she knew she’s going to miss Wheein so bad.

It started like this . . .

---

Byulyi didn’t know if she felt that since the first time they met and Wheein in the some random agency that grouped them up together. It was as if the universe had a plan for them because in the next few months, they were set to debut in the same girlgroup. It felt as if they were soulmates, always understand each other in one glance. Byulyi actually passed the audition first into RBW, and later came Wheein & Hyejin together. Byulyi was stressed out at first to sudden burden of having to debut, but when Wheein came in, everything was better.

Wheein would find Byulyi to cry to during bad time, and to celebrate with during great time. Byulyi was indeed glad that she got the trust from the latter too. It was easy to talk with Wheein. Byulyi can’t pinpoint exactly how the butterfly started in the stomach with Wheein’s presence. Perhaps, it was from those periods where Wheein hugged her, and kept admiring her. Surely Byulyi had always admired girls but Wheein was another level. Everything was too platonic.

In the dorm, they all shared the room together. Even if everyone had their space (yeah it was bunk bed), Wheein would come to Byulyi’s space and laid next to her. Byulyi swore everytime she did that, Byulyi almost ran into heart attack. Did Wheein even know Byulyi could fall for girl? That was too risky for her heart, seriously. Well she already did.

Her smile got widen everytime Wheein admired her. Her crush for Wheein was so obvious that even Yongsun (aka Yeba) noticed. Hyejin teased several times too but it seemed Wheein was oblivious. She honestly thought that Byulyi was affectionate like this to other too. It wasn’t exclusive.

Thing got worse because one night, Wheein even came to sleep with her - saying she had a nightmare. Byulyi can’t even find a good excuse to say no. Byulyi had no problem handling herself if Wheein did physical contact with her for few minutes or hours…but whole night?

Wheein walked over to Byulyi’s space in middle of the night.

“Byulyi. Can I sleep next to you?”

“W-what happened?”

“I had a nightmare . . . I can’t sleep.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Byulyi was glad that light was dark because she was blushing so hard at that moment. Wheein then laid her body next to Byulyi, and cuddled Byulyi the whole night.

Byulyi looked like the next day, she barely got any sleep. Of course, she can’t let Wheein know that, otherwise, she would blame herself for her lack of sleep. Luckily, the next day was just practicing . . . she swore she can’t function. Plus with Wheein’s remark the moment she woke up didn’t help either. “I had a great sleep last night, thanks Byulyi!” and Wheein kissed her cheek out of appreciation

The following night was torturing Byulyi because the girl asked for the same request. It wasn’t a request, but Wheein basically just laid down and sneaked her arms to cuddle Byulyi. Byulyi could go crazy at this rate. She can’t keep this going on, so she decided to speak it out. Thank god that the other 2 were sleeping like there’s no tomorrow.

“Wheein. This is not fair. If you keep doing this, I might . . . lose it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you serious?” Byulyi was frustrated at this point, “Even Yongsun knows, and you don’t?”

“I don’t catch up. What’s it?”

Byulyi was silent for a moment, and decided to just say it all out. The frustration was killing her.

“I have a crush on you, Wheein. If you keep doing this, I might fall even harder.”

Wheein didn’t say anything at first, and it was a very uncomfortable silence. Byulyi was panic that she started crying silently. Wheein could hear it all.

“B-Byulyi, I am sorry. I didn’t know you feel this.” Wheein tried to calm Byulyi down by hugging her even closely.

“A-are you going to hate me for this? Aren’t you disgusted?”

“What? No!” Wheein continued, “It’s just that . . . I’ve never been with girls before . . . and I don’t mind this.”

Much to Byulyi’s confusion, Wheein’s lips were on hers before she could even register what was happening. It was surprising but pleasant. With all emotions on the surface, Wheein realized why she felt nervous yet comfortable around Byulyi. She poured it all into the kisses. Everything just felt so right. Wheein also realized that she was whipped. Both were whipped, actually. At that moment, they didn’t care about what happen tomorrow or future yet. Those could wait after the kiss.  

Everything went from 0 to 100 real quick. Since things were so platonic between them, from the outlook it wasn’t new to the whole group. They didn’t talk about what they were in the first place, so there wasn’t anything needed to confess to the team. It was just basic Moonbyul and Wheein showering each other with love – except they secretly kissed.

Hyejin had made a comment that they only needed 3 beds in their room because now Wheein only slept with Byulyi, and Yongsun agreed too. Again, it was just basic Moonbyul and Wheein. Only if they knew that things got real.

“I love you, Moon Byulyi.” Wheein whispered to her after settling down on the girl’s space.

“I love you too, Jung Wheein” Byulyi gave a small kiss on her lips.

“I love you so much that you probably have no idea”

“I love you more.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you more.”

“Are we having a contest on who love each other more again?” They both chuckled, and cuddled each other the whole night. “Promise me that we’ll always be like this.”

“Yes promise.”

It was easy for them to say “I love you” and “I miss you” to each other because they were that affectionate.

“I miss you!” Byulyi barged into the room (of course only Wheein was in the room at the time) after arriving from 5-day-4-night shooting in some forest. Byulyi didn’t let the latter say anything as she just kept on kissing the girl.

“You say that to everyone, you know.” Wheein brought this up bitterly as it’s true…Byulyi was affectionate to other members too, but it’s not comparable with her. It was her jealousy speaking, and she was well-aware about that.

“No not true!” Byulyi pouted cutely and suddenly smirked, “baby, I don’t do this to them.”

She started kissing Wheein again, with more eagerness. Gosh, she missed the girl so much. Wheein was beyond taken back, but glad with the love she was receiving (after no Byulyi for 5 days). The kiss eventually turned into a make out . . . only to be stopped by hearing some knocks on the door. They get used to it. The tension was real.

Things weren’t always well. From Pink Funky till their Melting period, they became so busy. With their concept change and active schedule, it was almost impossible to get a decent sleep on daily basis. Their quality time was also reduced, especially after Wheein was always booked to some TV appearances. She got more job which Byulyi should be happy for, but that would also mean even lesser time together.

With such withdrawal, Byulyi got insecure. Again, she should be glad that Wheein was getting the recognition she deserves with more fan, and more love calls – she got jealous too. Instead of lashing out, Byulyi was the type that keep it all inside. She kept in all until . . .  

“Baby, I am home!” Wheein announced happily walking into their room, and hugged Byulyi from behind who was sitting on the desk, focusing on her computer.

“Wheein. There’s bunch of letters for