At Lincoln High School, Jo Haseul is half enigma, half person. 

Straight A high school senior, student body president and advanced choir first chair, Haseul is that girl. But not the annoying version of that girl (you know what I’m talking about), but the kind that’s perfect: not academically perfect but actually y, she’s just actually perfect. She’s perfect in that sort of way that seems dorky and a little silly but actually doesn’t hinder her in any way and only makes her more perfect, by nature of relatability. 

She’s the kind of a girl that can always lend a hand, or an ear, or an hour of her time. And she loves it, she really does. But sometimes, at 1 am after she’s finally finished her tasks for the day, laying in bed, trying to catch a couple hours of sleep before her alarm clock rings at 5 am, she wonders what her life would be like if things were different. If she wasn’t at the Lincoln High student body’s beck and call. But she shuts herself down immediately... 

No, she mumbles out loud in her dark bedroom, that’s not what you want. You’re Jo Haseul. This is how you earn your keep for existing in the world. For being so loved. And then she sighs, and usually falls asleep. 

And she woke up at her usual 5 am, and ate her healthy breakfast and went for her short jog and put on her not ugly but not fashionable either clothes, but this time she received a knock on the door just as she was about to leave. 

“Come in!” She called, still quiet but far too chipper for 6:30 in the morning (and she knew it). 

The door slowly pushed open, and there walked in Vivi. Vivi, the pretty exchange student from Hong Kong her family was housing for spring semester. 

“Mmh,” she answered, the sleep still in her voice. “You’re ready? Don’t classes start at 8:15?”

“Yeah, but I always go early.” Haseul suddenly frowned; Vivi probably was in need of a ride. “I can come back before class and drive you?”

Vivi chuckled softly. “It’s really okay. I’ll just take the school bus.” 

“Are you sure?”

Vivi nodded and smiled softly. “I’ll let you get going.” 

And when Haseul put the key into her car, driving to school as the sun rose, she thought about her. She felt bad, she hadn’t had much time to get to know her over the past week she’s lived with them. And now she was abandoning her to the school bus. She seemed really sweet. But the icky part of Haseul, that she pushed down as deep as it would go, could only see the girl as another person to take care of. 

~~~~~One: Park Chaewon~~~~~

Park Chaewon is a sophomore at Lincoln High. Pretty and tiny in that way guys seem to like, she was an automatic shoe-in for the popular crowd. She also was attempting to take her first AP this year: world history. And since Haseul was the only person at their school who had ever got a 5 on that AP exam (not that Haseul had bragged about it, in fact, she hadn’t told anyone and she still didn’t know how everyone found out), who better to ask for study tips? 

So that’s what Haseul was doing at 10 pm on a Thursday night, going over study questions with Chaewon at her desk. She wasn’t alone though: Vivi was laying down on Haseul’s bed beside the desk, just scrolling through her phone. When Vivi originally asked to stay in her room to keep her company, Haseul had been hesitant, afraid that Vivi would distract her (but of course she agreed). But Vivi had stayed in her room while Haseul studied and did favors for a few days now, and Haseul quite liked it. Vivi wasn’t a bother at all, and with her in the room, everything felt less like work. 

“The Indian Ocean basin, like, Southernization, the Silk Road, and the Atlantic triangle trade.Those are the biggest multi continental trade routes I can think of.”

“Thank you so so much,” Chaewon answered, and Haseul could hear her pencil scratching on paper from the other side. “Hey... can I tell you a secret?” 

“Of course,” Haseul answered. This happened all the time: studying turned to gossip. People trusted her though, and Haseul knew she should appreciate it. 

“I... I kinda like someone, but, I just..." she sighed. "I kinda want to tell her but I don't...I really don't want to ruin our friendship! But...I can't stop myself from liking her..." 

"Do you think she feels the same?" 

Chaewon sighed again. "I don't know...she always acts kinda....moody. It's hard to tell sometime." 

Thinking back on who Chaewon normally hung out with Haseul kind of had an idea of who she was talking about, but hung her chuckle back. 

"Do you think you telling her will affect your friendship if she doesn't like you back?" 

"Well...she might feel awkward. But deep down she's so kind. I think she would try to make things okay. It's...Hyejoo. Do you know Hyejoo? You think Hyejoo would be alright if she didn't like me back?" 

So Haseul was right about who Chaewon liked. And yes, Haseul thought Hyejoo would be okay with it (mostly because she'd had a feeling that Hyejoo had secretly liked her back for a long time now). 

"Then...I say go for it! I always believe in going after what you want. And Hyejoo will be nice about it! I know her decently well. So, just go for it." 

"Alright...maybe I'll do it then. Maybe. Um...thanks for all the help. I should go to bed now." 

"Get your rest! You should always get a good night's sleep. Sleep well!" 

"You too, bye Haseul." 

"Bye." 

Haseul hung up the phone and exhaled, leaning back in her chair. Her math homework still sat in front of her, but she could take a five second break to just breath. 

"You're sweet," Vivi suddenly spoke. 

Haseul sat up. "What?" Vivi hadn't said anything in hours. 

"You're sweet," she repeated. "Helping that girl with her studying and her crush. You're so nice." 

Haseul just shrugged. "I dunno. Doesn't everyone do that for their friends?" 

"But it seems like you're everyone's friend. That makes it kinda different." 

Haseul paused for a second. "I dunno." 

"You're sweet. That's all." Vivi looked at her phone again, and after a moment of thinking, Haseul went back to her homework. 

~~~~~Two: Son Hyejoo~~~~~

"Things just...things just feel so hopeless these days," Hyejoo spoke into the phone as Haseul rushed to get her clothes on. It was 6:35 in the morning and Haseul was getting ready for school, using the time to talk to her friend. 

Hyejoo is a freshman at Lincoln High. Very gorgeous and very emo, she was the kind of girl with sharpie doodles always on her hands and an airpod in her ears, blasting music loud enough for anyone within two feet of her to hear. Haseul couldn't quite remember how she'd met the girl: was it through Chaewon? Freshman mentoring? She wasn't sure, she met a lot of people all the time, but...the girl was clearly going through some . So, Haseul was there for her. Of course she was. 

Even at 6:40 in the morning, shoving her books into her backpack, trying to still give Hyejoo her full attention. 

"I just don't have anyone. My friends all secretly don't like me, my crush will never like me back-" 

Haseul made a mental note to encourage Chaewon more to confess. 

"-and it just...." 

When Haseul made it to the front door Vivi was already there, ready to go. The exchange student had started getting ready at the same time as her so they could go to school together. Haseul had wondered if Vivi had just wanted the ride. But when she heard her mom say to Vivi that she would drive her later every day and to not bother to get up so early, Haseul finally believed Vivi when she said, again, that she just wanted to keep Haseul company. And again, she liked it. The soft early morning quiet, finally not defeaning, but in the company of someone else. 

Vivi made a thumbs up at Haseul, Haseul made one back, and the girls headed to the garage.

"Loneliness can be so...crushing. It must feel so bad," Haseul said. 

Hyejoo sighed as Haseul hopped into the front seat, Vivi beside her, and the car. She nestled her phone in between her cheek and shoulder as she pulled out of the driveway and onto the suburban street. 

"It does," Hyejoo answered. 

"But...but I want you to know that sometimes, our brains trick us. They make us think the people nearby don't like us when they really do." Hyejoo let out a small noise of complete disagreement, and Haseul tried to angle her sigh away from the speaker. "Have you ever thought about therapy?" 

"Isn't therapy for crazy people?" 

"Therapy is for anyone who needs a lending ear. It's kinda like this. But therapists are professionals who can really, really help. Better than just a friend." 

"It's....it's just like this? Me telling you how I feel?" 

"Yeah. It's pretty similar. Lots of people who you'd never think of as crazy go to therapy. Anyways, isn't everyone a little crazy deep down?" 

Hyejoo sighed, again. "Maybe. I'll think about it. I...I gotta go. Have some homework to finish up." 

"Promise me you'll ask your mom about it on the way to school tomorrow. Okay? Promise?" 

"Promise. Bye, Haseul." 

"Bye, Hyejoo. I'm always here, I promise." 

Hyejoo finally hung up and Haseul slid her phone into the cup holder. She sighed, not saying anything. No matter how often she did it, talking about mental health so early in the morning always made her feel a bit heavy. It took all of her brain power to make her mind think about something else.

Lunch. What was she having today? Wait....

"Ugh..." 

"What's wrong?" Vivi asked. 

Haseul shook awake; she forgot Vivi was here with her. "I forgot a lunch." Now she'd have to buy something gross from the cafeteria or mall nearby. Ew. Plus, she was starting to run out of her summer job money. 

But Vivi just smiled and dug through her backpack, holding up a small paper bag. "I noticed you didn't pack one this morning, so I made an extra." 

Haseul could have cried. She did, a little, but that was really embarrassing, so the tears stopped as soon as they came. "You...you didn't have to..." 

"But I wanted to. I like making lunches in the morning. It's fun to go through the fridge and make stuff with all of the American ingredients." Vivi smiled, it felt genuine, and Haseul's guilt at some doing something for her faded a little. 

And at lunch that day Haseul could have sworn it was the best PB n J she'd ever had.

~~~~~Three: Kim Jiwoo~~~~~

Kim Jiwoo is the junior class darling. She's like the popular girls in teen movies, but the nice and welcoming variety: smart, talented, dating the popular senior, and ridiculously bubbly. She was set to take over Haseul's position as advanced choir chair one when Haseul graduated, and Haseul could always count on her to bring a smile to her face, just by proximity. 

So, it would have been weird for anyone else to see serious Jiwoo. Jiwoo with problems. But people loved Haseul, they trusted her, so it was her who could see Jiwoo at her most vulnerable. 

"Sooyoung...she's been so closed off lately," Jiwoo said. Choir had just finished, and the two girls were walking over to the parking lot to head home, the sun setting in front of them (it was a Wednesday, Haseul's early day). "I don't know what to do. She's been my girlfriend for two years now and I don't want to break up with her but she never tells me how she's feeling unless she's getting angry. It just hurts me, to see her bottle it all up inside." 

"Have you ever said that to her?" Haseul asked. 

"...No, I haven't." 

"You know, she's probably just not aware that she's doing it. If you let her know that she's bottling up her feelings, and make her feel like you're a safe space to share her thoughts with, then things might get better. It'll take time, of course. But if you guys both care enough to make things work, which I'm sure you do, then with some work it'll get sorted out. I promise." 

"You're right, Haseul. You're always right..." 

"And you know... have you ever thought that maybe you do the same thing?" 

"Wait, what? I never get mad!" 

"Exactly. You know...I don't know what goes on when you two are in private, but I never see you act like this with her. Like you're talking with me right now. You...you don't always have to be mrs.popular. Everyone needs to take a break sometimes, physically, mentally, and emotionally." 

Jiwoo sighed and rolled her eyes. "I hate that you're always right, Haseul." 

Haseul smiled softly as she approached her car. "I'm not always right..."

"Well, see you around. Thanks for everything."

"It's nothing. Have a nice evening!" Haseul called, and Jiwoo walked over to her own car. She watched her go for a second before turning and seeing Vivi leaning against the passenger seat door. 

"Hi! How was your day? Were you waiting long? You didn't have to wait for me..." 

Vivi giggled, and Haseul couldn't stop herself from smiling at her. And maybe noticing the sunlight reflecting in her brown eyes...

"I wanted to keep you company. Anyways, I always study better in the library. I just waited in there for you." 

Haseul smiled back and the two girls hopped into the car, Haseul starting it and driving out of campus. 

"I heard you talking to Jiwoo." 

"Oh! How much did you hear?" Haseul really didn't want Vivi to be in on everything; her reputation as a lock box could be at risk. 

"Not much. Just the end of your conversation." 

Haseul breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Have you..." Vivi continued. "Have you ever thought about taking your own advice?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Everyone needs a break sometimes, you said. That includes you." 

"I- um-" Haseul stuttered before falling silent. 

"You're always telling people to relax, get more sleep, take the day off...but out of everyone I met so far you spend the least time relaxing." 

Haseul's brain was short circuiting and the car fell silent for a moment. 

"I, I'm not saying this to be mean, I promise, I'm sorry if I'm coming off that way, I just, I just think you're-" 

And Haseul turned to look at her, and both girls fell totally quiet. 

Vivi was pretty. That was Haseul's first thought when the girls met but wow was she, like, pretty pretty. Her sparkly wide eyes, and her cotton candy hair, and her...just, niceness. She had been wrong to hold her at arm's length before. Vivi was her friend, a real and true one. 

If Haseul was starting to think of her as something more- well, she didn't have to know that. 

~~~~~Four: Choi Yerim~~~~~

Choi Yerim is one of the nicest girls Haseul knows. One of the few freshmen chosen for that year’s cheer squad, the happy and hyper nature needed to be a good cheerleader came one hundred percent naturally to her. Although she hadn’t been at Lincoln High for very long, Haseul noticed she’d used her newfound popularity for good and not evil. 

So of course she was texting Haseul for advice not about herself, but about another. 

do u kno Choi jungeun? Yerim texted Haseul. They had been chatting a little while Haseul was planning the next school fundraiser one night, Vivi sitting on the floor beside Haseul’s desk and chair. She was helping out, of course, after insisting she wanted to just about five times. Haseul gave her a brief glance and wondered, briefly, what she would do without her? 

Haseul physically shook her head. She shouldn’t think that way; hadn’t they only known each other for a month or so? Of course she could handle things without Vivi. Hadn’t she before?

With a deep sigh, Haseul forced herself to focus back on her phone. 

Yes I do! Why do you ask?

Yerim’s response came seconds later. 

She’s ma sis lol

Haseul immediately turned to Vivi. “Did you know that Choi Jungeun and Choi Yerim are sisters?"

Vivi chuckled. “Wait, no way...” 

“Yerim just told me. I can’t believe it either.” Jungeun.... introverted yet sassy Jungeun. Almost the exact opposite of Yerim. Huh. 

When Haseul turned back to her phone Yerim had sent another few texts. 

Shes so not confident :( she always thinks shes gonna do bad or tht she’s nt pretty or tht her crushes nevr like her back

I want her 2 b more confident but idk wat 2 say!! 

Haseul hummed and Vivi looked up from the fundraising project. “What’s she saying?” 

“Yerim wants to know how she can make Jungeun more confident.” 

Vivi hummed and Haseul turned back to her phone, typing out a response. 

Yerim, there’s only so much you can tell a person. People aren’t going to feel confident unless they can internalize all the compliments they get. But being encouraging and complimentary, while still being honest, will definitely help. I’m sure she will appreciate it :)

“What did you say?” Vivi asked, and Haseul read the message out loud to her before Yerim answered. 

Omg ty ty ty !!!! Will do :) ur da best haseulie :D

Haseul chuckled at Yerims message before feeling a tap on her shoulder. She looked up to see Vivi standing behind her desk chair with a smile. 

“You really give such great, well thought out advice. It’s such an amazing skill you have.” 

Haseul, to her embarrassment, laughed awkwardly and blushed. “I really don’t think so. I...”

Vivi leaned her head over Haseul’s shoulder and Haseul froze. Vivi smiled and turned to speak softly but firmly in Haseul’s ear. 

“Confidence!”

She giggled, went back to the floor, and if Haseul could’ve blushed more, she would’ve. 

~~~~~Five: Jung Jinsoul~~~~~

Growing up being the awkward nerd she was, Haseul never expected to know all of the most popular girls in high school. But somehow, she had managed to become close to the queen bees. 

Jung Jinsoul was one of them. The bubbly cheerleader, known in her and Haseul’s freshman year as the dumb blonde, had managed to defy all expectations by dying her hair black and making captain (the best cheer captain Lincoln High had in years) in her senior year. But none of that changed her status as the popular girl, the inevitable prom queen, the one all of the football players asked out (who were, of course, inevitably rejected). She was a kind girl though, sometimes even a little bit shy. 

And she, of course, was no stranger to needing Haseul’s assistance. She didn’t ask for help much, but when she did, Haseul knew it was serious. 

That was why Haseul was sitting on the empty football field during lunch instead of doing student council or catching up on homework or helping a freshman choir guy with his singing. Jinsoul sat across from her, fancy Trader Joe’s packaged salad in her lap, concerned look on her face. 

“So we got a new cheer coach this year. And he’s just....he’s evil!” Jinsoul cried. If Jinsoul thought this guy was bad, he must have been truly horrible. “He barely wanted to take anyone into the team after auditions! I mean, we had enough space to take everyone, why should we reject people? Well, I totally overruled him and let everyone on, and ever since then he’s had it out for me...” Jinsoul sighed. “But that’s not the point. He’s mean to all the girls. He’s always saying things about the girl’s bodies...he keeps saying I should implement a team diet! No way. And he wants everything to be so perfect, like we should dedicate our entire lives to cheer. But we have school and stuff too! It’s just ridiculous and I don’t know what to do.” 

“I think you need to fire him."

Jinsoul sighed again. “Probably. But... but this is the year we make it to nationals! I promised the girls I’d make sure it happened! It might take a while to find a new coach though, and that’s a lot of valuable training time lost. Anyways... you know I have a hard time talking to adults like that.” 

Jinsoul did have problems standing up to authority. But Haseul knew she did too. This probably wouldn’t be easy, but maybe two against one would be easier. 

“You know... you’re right. He needs to go. What good is training when all of our morale is so low? But... it’s gonna be really hard...”

“I’ll help you,” Haseul said, her voice shaking.

“Really?!” 

“Yeah. Of course.”

“We have practice after school today. Can we do it today?”

Haseul chuckled uncomfortably. “Yeah. That sounds good.” 

Three and a half hours later.... it did not sound good. Anxiety was building in Haseul’s body, and she swallowed thickly. She breathed in, and breathed out. Yes, this guy was a real adult, but he was still an ! Haseul could help Jinsoul fire him! Of course she could do it! 

“Hey!” A voice suddenly spoke behind Haseul. She turned around and exhaled, for real this time: it was Vivi. Haseul smiled a little to herself and felt a bit of the tension in her shoulders melt away. Really, it was a bit ridiculous that just Vivi’s presence could calm her down. But Haseul needed it right now. “What are you doing today?”

Haseul sighed. “I have to go help the cheer captain fire their coach.” 

“Oh wow. That sounds tough.” Vivi hummed for a moment. “Would an extra person there be good? For moral support?”

“Oh my god yes,” Haseul answered. “Please, I’d love to have you there.” 

“Glad to be of help! Let’s go then.” 

With a soft flush to her cheeks Haseul and Vivi linked arms, walking down to the gym where the cheer squad practiced. The rest of the squad wasn’t there yet, probably still changing, except for Jinsoul. She was pacing back and forth and ran over as soon as Haseul was there. 

“Oh thank god. He’s coming soon. I told the rest of the squad the plan in the cheer group chat and they’re, like, so excited so I have to go through with it, but like...oh! Hi Vivi!” 

“Hi Jinsoul. Haseul said I could come for moral support. Is that okay?”

“Omigosh yes! That is way more than okay. That’ll be so helpful- oh, , he’s here.” 

The middle aged white man who was apparently the cheer coach slowly walked onto the football field, stopping with his arms crossed. 

“Who are these two? This is a closed practice.”

Jinsoul froze. “Um...I-I....”

“Spit it out, little girl.” 

Jinsoul frowned and looked down at the grass, and Haseul did the same. 

“I think Jinsoul has something to tell you,” Vivi suddenly spoke. Both Jinsoul and Haseul looked up in surprise, and Haseul noticed Vivi squeeze Jinsoul’s hand out of the corner of her eye. 

Jinsoul stood up straight and looked at the man. “Um... well... you’refired,” she spit out, all one word. 

He scoffed and took a long look at the field before turning back to the girls. “I knew you were afraid of success. You and your weak little team will never make it.”

“We... we want to make it. B-but we want to have fun, more than that. This isn’t our job.” 

The man, realizing the girls were serious, began to turn red and scoffed again. “Who says you even had the authority to fire me? I work for the school, not you.”

Jinsoul suddenly looked panicked to Haseul... and Haseul froze too. 

Her silence seemed to stretch on for eternity until Vivi, again, looked up at the man. "Isn't that student council's job?" 

Finally, Vivi's words managed to drill through the glacier that had formed around Haseul's brain, and she could actually do something. "It is! While the school provides clubs and teams with funds, budgeting is decided by club presidents, team leaders, and captains working with student council. As long as students aren't spending the money on unrelated things, they are able to decide. So, actually, Jinsoul does have the authority. And me too, because I'm student body president." 

The man stared at all three of the girls, crossing his arms before finally letting out a humph. " this," he mumbled under his breath, grabbing his duffel bag and marching quickly off the football field. 

Once he was a distance away, the girls turned to each other with big smiles on their faces.

"Eee!" Jinsoul squealed. "We did it!"

Without any more pause Jinsoul pulled both of them into a massive hug, and the girls held each other back. But Haseul turned to Vivi, concerned. 

"Are...are you shaking?" 

"That was really scary," Vivi whined back. 

"But you were so brave! We couldn't have done it without you!" Jinsoul answered. 

"Ah, I dunno...it's you who saved the day." Vivi turned to look at Haseul, and now she really froze. 

Suddenly, Haseul noticed Jinsoul make a face, her eyes widening. 

"What?" 

"No~thing," Jinsoul responded in a smiley, sing-song tone. Haseul shook her head, willing herself to forget about it and just focus on Vivi's arms around her. 

~~~~~Six: Choi Jungeun~~~~~

There was no one in the world Haseul would receive texts from at five in the morning but Choi Jungeun. 

Choi Jungeun (shockingly, the sister of cheerful cheerleader supreme Choi Yerim), the intensely introverted junior who only let her closest friends in on her secret sassy attitude. She was also the only person Haseul knew who was as -retentive as herself, so Haseul had very quickly become one of Jungeun's closest friends. 

So, of course Haseul was awake (although not entirely coherent) when Jungeun texted her before the sun was even up. 

Haseul, 

So you know the kind of person I am. You get me. So you are the only person I could ask for help with this. Now, normally doing something like what I am thinking would be completely out of the question, but I have been talking recently with my sister and she has given me the courage to go through with it. 

Haseul squinted as she read the message (Jungeun was notorious for writing texts exactly as she would write an email). But before she could respond, she felt a very light knock on her door. 

"Mmh, come in," Haseul managed to say. And very slowly to avoid creaking Vivi opened the door, a Starbucks double espresso can in each hand. Despite the morning daze her mind was in, Haseul immediately smiled. Even though she hadn't her light, she could kinda see Vivi with her messy hair and cute pajamas. On the inside, Haseul was dying. 

"Here," Vivi answered, handing her one of the cans before sitting on the floor beside her bed. 

"What's this all about?" Haseul asked and she shivered at the affection in her voice. 

"I heard your phone go off from the other room. I figured you'd answer it so I decided to wake us both up." 

"You always know just the thing to cheer me up," Haseul mumbled before turning away. Even she knew that was a bit much. 

But in the dark, she couldn't see Vivi's cheeks flaming as she rested her head on Haseul's bed. "What is it?" 

"Jungeun wants my advice." 

"On what?" 

"Hm, let's find out." 

What is it? What do you need? Haseul typed. 

She received a response moments later (Jungeun was always quite prompt). 

Now that my sister has started high school, it has become my job to give her a ride to and from school. My sister (who you may know; her name is Yerim) is on the cheerleading squad so I often pick her up from cheer practice. There I met a senior by the name of Jinsoul. Normally, as you know, I am not one to befriend those bubbly types. But somehow we have begun to get along quite well. 

And I have developed....feelings for her. 

Haseul gasped and Vivi quickly sat up. 

"What is it?" 

"I don't know if she'd want me to tell you..."

"Does she like someone?" 

Haseul sighed. "Yes." 

"Alright, alright, I won't guess. Don't wanna break your or her trust. It must be someone unexpected though." 

Haseul scoffed. "It is." 

"Is it Jung Jinsoul?" 

Haseul turned with her jaw dropped. "Wait, how did you know?" 

"Really?" Vivi said with surprise. "That guess was completely random." 

"Well, you guessed correct. Now that you know, maybe you should read her message." 

Haseul showed Vivi the texts and Vivi looked at her, confused, a few moments later. 

"Does Jungeun talk like that in real life?" 

"No, she doesn't."

Vivi just hummed, and Haseul's phone dinged with the sound of another message from Jungeun. 

My sister insists that my feelings are not unrequited and that I should tell her how I feel. Although I fear she may be wrong, I have decided I want to confess to Jinsoul just in case. However, I'm not sure what I should do to show my feelings. I believe a simple confession in private is not worthy of Jinsoul's beauty, talent, and kindness. I want to do something grand. 

"What did she say?" 

Haseul hummed, thinking. "She wants to confess to Jinsoul but she wants to make it a grand gesture. Ugh. I'm so bad with this kinda thing." 

"Why do you think that?" 

"I mean...I've never really dated anyone. Or even wanted to, most of the time. I'm just so busy." 

In the dark, Haseul couldn't see Vivi's face fall, but she could feel the heavy silence that followed her words. Was it all in her head? She hadn't been lying, though, mostly. But she'd been lying about how she currently felt.

After a few minutes, Vivi hummed back. "Wait...isn't prom coming up?" 

"Yeah! Actually it is pretty soon." Did Haseul only know that because she was on prom committee? Was she only going because she had to as student body president? Yes and yes. 

"I remember when I lived in Hong Kong I used to see all of those viral videos of people getting asked to prom. What were they called....promposals? Do those actually happen?" 

Haseul sat up and gasped. "Yes! Yes those do actually happen! And that is the perfect thing for Jungeun to do. It's big but I think it's safer than just saying I like you." 

"I agree, totally." 

Haseul hurriedly texted her friend. 

What about doing a promposal for Jinsoul? It's a grand gesture and it leaves her pretty clear about how you feel but it's less of a commitment than asking her out.

She received an answer almost instantaneously. 

That is just the answer. I'll get working on something right away. My sister will know just what to do. 

And, of course, thank you. 

It's no problemo! Haseul answered. What she didn't say, was that it was all Vivi. But she herself could be grateful. 

~~~~~Seven: Ha Sooyoung~~~~~

Haseul found it funny how she was always doing favors for the different Ms. Populars at Lincoln High. 

Sooyoung, a senior like herself, was the bad girl of the bunch. Known fashionista who shamelessly would get drunk at high school parties, Haseul was one of the few who knew another side to her: loyal girlfriend of Kim Jiwoo since Jiwoo was a freshman, dedicated president of the school dance club, and a girl who really, really wanted to go to University of California Santa Cruz. 

UC Santa Cruz had become harder and harder to get into as Haseul had passed through her years of school, so she was fully aware of how much Sooyoung was doing to get in. 

And that meant draft, after draft, after draft, of personal statement papers. And that meant Haseul (being the smartest person Sooyoung knew, according to herself) was stuck editing them. 

Now Haseul had a lot to do. But Sooyoung had been her friend forever, and there was no way she wasn't going to help her achieve her dreams (and possibly give up some of her party girl ways). So after Haseul had done all of the other, many things she had to do for the day, she finally got around to editing Sooyoung's papers. 

At two in the morning.

Haseul could feel her eyes closing but she pushed on, not even noticing when Vivi came into her room. But she definitely noticed when Vivi began to rub her shoulder.

"What are still doing up?" Haseul whined, sleepiness in her tone. 

"I got distracted by youtube, but I came to check on your when your light was still on. I can ask the same thing of yourself." 

"I'm helping Sooyoung with her personal statements. For Santa Cruz." 

"Aren't those not due for another six weeks?" 

"Yeah, but she needs to get a head start. And it would to be late." 

Vivi spared a glance at Haseul's bedside clock. "It's 2:30 in the morning. I think you should go to bed." 

"No!" Haseul whined. "I can't. I really can't." 

Vivi sighed softly. "Fine. Is there anything I can do for you?" 

"Actually....there's some iced coffee in the fridge. Could you bring me a glass of that?" 

"Really?" 

"Yes, I'm serious." 

Vivi sighed, again. "Alright." 

"Then you should go to bed. You need your rest." 

"As do you!" Vivi whined, but left obediently anyways. 

Haseul was so tired and focused that she didn't notice Vivi took a little while to get her that coffee. Mindlessly Haseul just reached for it as soon as Vivi set it down. 

"Oh, thank you-" she hurriedly spoke before freezing. 

Wait...this isn't iced coffee. 

Haseul turned to Vivi. "Is this sleepy time chamomile tea?" 

Vivi sighed. "Please, Haseul. You need to sleep." She paused. "Sooyoung can wait, okay? Finish up what you're doing while you drink that tea, then you should sleep." 

Finally, Haseul sighed too. The taste of the tea on her tongue was already relaxing her down to her bones. The bed did look comfortable. And truth be told, there really was tomorrow. 

"Okay. Okay." 

Vivi finally gave Haseul that smile she'd been waiting for, and Haseul decided that she might do anything to see it all the time. Maybe, just maybe, even get some sleep.

~~~~~Eight: Kim Hyunjin~~~~~

Any time Haseul got a call from Kim Hyunjin, she knew something out of the ordinary was about to happen. 

Haseul had met high school sophomore Kim Hyunjin under out-of-the-ordinary circumstances, to say the least. 

Hyunjin's best friend Heejin had organized an intervention to stop the bullying Hyunjin faced for...possibly being a furry? Of course, Haseul had been called in to be the mediator. And she was happy to do it; she had nothing against furries. Haseul had somehow managed to calm down the situation, and they had been friends ever since.

To this day, though, she wasn't sure whether or not Hyunjin was actually a furry. She did like to draw animal pictures in the furry art style, and she did randomly make animal noises in the hallways, and she did nickname herself aeong (after the noise cats make), and she did own five cats, but that wasn't proof, was it? 

It was all proof that she was an out-of-the-ordinary kind of girl, though. But Haseul was really shocked when she answered the phone to hear tears coming from the other line. 

"Hyunjin! Hyunjin! Are you okay?" 

"M-my cat..." she sobbed. "Elsa, my cat... she's s-so sick...b-but my parents are out of town and I can't drive..." 

"Of course, I'll give you a ride to the vet, I'll head over right away." 

"Thank you, oh my god, Haseul...I had no one else to call..." 

"This is important. I'll be there as soon as I can." 

She hung up, not bothering to change out of her stained sweats. Grabbing her keys, she ignored Sooyoung's college paper drafts still up on her computer, the five mugs staining random scratch paper on her desk, the different pages of her English homework spread out on every corner of her workspace. This was more important than anything: more than just being living, breathing creatures, the cats were Hyunjin's best friends. She knew she couldn't let Hyunjin live without them. 

So she ran out of the house, at eleven pm, and headed to take Hyunjin and Elsa to the vet. 

It was three am when she got home. She was exhausted, but it was worth it: Elsa had her medicine, and Hyunjin had a smile on her face again. Maybe Haseul could take a stab at one of the million things on her to-do list before she crashed. 

But her desk was not the same as she'd left it: the mugs were gone and the stained papers beneath were in her trash can, her English homework was in a neat pile on the edge of her desk, and when she turned back on her computer, Sooyoung's papers had been saved and closed. It was only then she noticed the soft pink sticky note on the corner of her desk.

GO TO SLEEP, it read, in all caps. 

Maybe it was because it was three am, but Haseul just about died. Or maybe, it was because it was all Vivi. 

~~~~~Nine: Jeon Heejin~~~~~

Haseul, of course, was happy to do favors for just about anyone, but she was especially happy to do favors for sophomore Jeon Heejin. 

She was such a nice girl; she had met her through the Hyunjin furry bullying debacle, and Haseul really admired her going out of her way to help out her best friend. That was the only time Heejin had ever asked anything of her... until now. 

When Heejin had asked her to help her out with her audition for the school dance team, Haseul thought she had texted the wrong person. Haseul took a couple dance classes when she was a kid, and she was friends with a lot of the girls on the dance team, but her? A dance coach? 

But it was Heejin. So here she was, after student council on a Friday, in the practice room with Heejin. Trying her best. 

"Are you sure you want me to help you with this?" Haseul asked after her tenth time watching Heejin's routine.

"Of course! You're the best for this kind of thing. Are you busy though? If so it's really fine..." 

"No no no! I have time. I just want to make sure you're getting the best help you can get." 

"You are the best help I can get," Heejin answered, restarting the song on her phone again. 

Haseul was touched, really, as she watched Heejin's choreography, trying to think of what to say. 

"So....how was it?" 

"Heejin...you're really, really good. The team will be lucky to have you." 

"Sooyoung can be kind of...intimidating." 

"I know, I know. But she's actually really nice once you get to know her. And she is a super fair person. I know you'll get in because of that. I've seen the team perform many times, and you'll fit right in." 

"Okay, okay. Is there anything I should work on?" 

Critiques. Not Haseul's forte, especially since she didn't really know what she was talking about.

"Um..." 

"Haseul, there you are! I was wondering where you were." 

She breathed a sigh of relief. Vivi. 

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" 

"No, no. Haseul's just helping me prepare for my dance team audition." 

Vivi gave Haseul a quick look before turning back to Heejin. 

"Would you mind if I watched? I was on my school's competitive dance team back in Hong Kong; I'm curious to see American styles." 

"That would be great! I could definitely use some tips from you, if you wanna give them out." 

Vivi threw Haseul a smile. "Maybe I could take over for Haseul then, if you don't mind." 

"Oh no! I don't mind at all." 

"Wait, wh-"

"You should head home," Vivi spoke quietly, turning to Haseul. "You've got a lot to do. I'll take care of this. I was being genuine; I really do wanna see American dance styles." 

"A-are you sure? How will you get home? Don't you wanna relax?" 

"I'll find my way. Go home." 

And Vivi's smile was so real that Haseul couldn't help but do what she said. 

"I-is that okay?" She asked Heejin. 

"Totally! Drive safe!" 

So Haseul drove home. Maybe not safely, because the road wasn't what was on her mind. 

~~~~~Ten: Im Yeojin~~~~~

Haseul wasn't usually the type to pick favorites, but even she had to admit Yeojin was her favorite freshman. 

Yes, the fourteen-year-old freshman class president bugged the crap out of her every day at student council meetings. But there was something so sweet about her constant need to annoy everyone around her that Haseul couldn't help but love her, like the little sister she never had. Haseul suspected that's how everybody felt about her, and how she made her grade's student body president in the first place. 

So it really hurt to see her not doing well, stressed to the point of not being able to tease. Haseul knew she had to do something when at student council one afternoon, the miniature girl didn't even crack a single joke. 

Haseul would always make time for Yeojin, so she approached her after the meeting. 

"Is everything okay?" 

Yeojin let out a deep, uncharacteristic sigh. "Not...really." Haseul gave her an understanding look, and she continued. "I'm trying to help plan the freshman activities for spirit week, but it just seems like nobody in my grade has any...spirit. I wanted to ask everyone in my grade for ideas so that more people would do it, but nobody seems to wanna do it at all! I guess they think we're all too cool for that kind of stuff now that we're in high school..." 

That really hurt. Haseul had definitely been there before, and she knew how hard Yeojin worked to make things fun despite her carefree attitude. 

"If you're free, how about we brainstorm tonight? We could call some of your friends, maybe look online at what freshmen are into these days, and try and come up with something out of the box?" 

For the first time that day, Yeojin cracked a smile. "That would be really great." 

"Great. Let's find an empty classroom to work in." 

The only flaw in this plan was missing giving Vivi a ride. She'd already missed it one time this week because of the Heejin thing. Haseul frowned and explained to Vivi. 

Luckily Vivi answered just moments later. 

Don't worry!!! Gotta have school spirit, right :) don't work too hard and be home early <3

For a moment, Haseul fell into a daydream. She could imagine it...staying late at work as an adult but with Vivi as her partner, waiting for her to come back to their home, with dinner on the table and a kiss to welcome her back. Haseul shivered to herself. 

"Ready?" Yeojin asked, pulling her out of her daydreams. 

"Yes, totally." 

For once, Haseul got home at a decent hour (9 pm and only because Yeojin had a curfew). So when she walked into the kitchen, Vivi was still up. She smiled just seeing her. 

"Welcome home," Vivi spoke, going to the freezer. She pulled out two pints of ice cream and grabbed two spoons, handing one of each to Haseul. 

"Did...did you buy me this?" 

Vivi just shrugged and sat down. "I know you like to, sort of, digest your day in the car on the way home. We didn't get to do that today so I thought we'd do it now, if that's okay." 

"You're...you're so sweet..." 

"So, how was your day?" 

And god it was hard for Haseul not to fantasize when her fantasies were becoming realities. 

~~~~~Eleven: Wong Vivi~~~~~

"Haseul...it's a Sunday. When was the last time you breathed fresh air?" 

"Exactly! It's a Sunday! The perfect time to catch up on everything!" 

Vivi took a step closer to Haseul's abysmally messy desk. "What about the fresh air?" she asked in a softer tone. 

"What about it?" 

"You need it." 

Vivi tugged on Haseul's arm, and she finally turned away from her computer screen, colored lines still buzzing about on the google doc. "Please? You've been working since seven am. On a weekend. On a Sunday." 

The weekend, the air, the Sunday didn't really matter. It was really only the desperation in Vivi's face that made Haseul finally put her computer to sleep. 

"Alright. Fine." 

The prettiest of smiles bloomed on Vivi's petal pink lips as she dragged the small girl, bob bouncing, to the door. 

It was interesting, really. The desperation, the joy, Vivi's emotions didn't make sense to her. But it didn't matter where they came from. All Haseul knew was that she wanted to make the girl who had kind of changed everything for her feel that way, all the time. 

She let Vivi take her all the way to her backyard; almost a foreign country. The last time she'd been back here was...maybe in middle school? When she was manager for the volleyball team and had them practice back here. Haseul wasn't sure, really. It was clear her parents took care of it; the grass trimmed and flowers in all the right places. It wasn't for her though; they knew she didn't normally have the time to hang out. 

Vivi stripped her socks off by the back door, wading through the grass on bare toes before letting herself sink down. She grinned at a hesitant Haseul, by the door. 

"Come on!"

Haseul gave back a dazed smile, put her socks on top of Vivi's, and met her in the middle of the yard. Carelessly, Vivi let her back fall onto the grass. Haseul followed with a hefty sigh of relief. Of release. 

"I love this place. It's so nice that you have a place like this, all to yourself. Most people don't have a yard in Hong Kong. I mean...I don't wanna sound ungrateful. It's nice not to have to drive everywhere, like here. But a yard....if I were you, I'd spend every day of my life here."

"It's all yours while you're here." 

Vivi laughed, and it sounded stupidly like perfect golden bells ringing in the distance. God. "Yeah. I stay here as much as I can, especially at this time. When's the sun is setting, but way before it turns orange, you know?" 

Haseul didn't just let her eyes fall on the sky. No, for the first time in a while, she actually looked, and got exactly what Vivi meant. The sun, casting long shadows on everything it kisses. The cool colors of the broad above with the warmth of the light, at their gentlest, baby blue and pink. 

"Yeah, I know what you mean. When the sky looks like...cotton candy, almost." 

Vivi giggled. "Yeah. A cotton candy sky." 

A sort of silence fell, the wind through the grass filling in for the incessant racket in Haseul's mind. 

"I need to do this more." 

"You do." Haseul turned to Vivi in surprise; she wasn't always quite so blunt. "I just don't know how you can be so good at taking care of everyone else around you, but so bad at taking care of yourself. Like, don't you ever feel burnt out? I...I don't want you to burn out..." 

Haseul sighed softly. "Sometimes I did feel burnt out, before you came." She flushed; she couldn't help but heap her praises on Vivi in this moment. "But it's different now. You help me...some of the weight is off my shoulders. So...thank you. Vivi, I, I can't thank you enough. For everything. For...this." 

Vivi to to her side, really looking at Haseul, like how Haseul looked at the sky. "You're welcome. You help me too, you know." 

"How?" 

"Right now. Sometimes...all I wanna do is just spend time with you. And you're helping me out with that right now." 

"But I'm not doing anything for you." 

"You being here....it's enough. It's all I want, really." 

Haseul didn't think she could even speak anymore. So she turned back up to that cotton candy sky, unable to stop the smile on her lips. 

~~~~~Twelve: Jo Haseul~~~~~

On Monday Haseul's worst nightmare came true.

"I'm totally fine," Haseul managed to croak out. 

She, in fact, was not "totally fine". 

"You're literally not fine." 

As usual, Vivi was right. 

Haseul's throat was so sore it felt like it had shrunk to the world's tiniest passage, her head was throbbing, and she was way too hot...or was she too cold? 

She was too sick for her heart to even throb when Vivi put her hand on Haseul's forehead. Her head definitely throbbed though. 

"You have a fever." 

"It's okay...I gotta go. Haseul reached for the outfit she had set out the previous night and Vivi let out the most audible sigh. 

"I'm getting your mom." 

"Wait, what?" 

But before Haseul could stop her, Vivi had already left the room. 

The strength leaving her, she laid back down in the bed, forcing the sleepiness to stop trying to tug down her eyelids, trying her best to listen in on Vivi and her mom's conversation.

"Yeah, I knew something was wrong when she didn't wake up from her normal alarm or her current alarm...she really doesn't look good." (Haseul tried not to take that one personally). "But she's insisting on going to school." 

Her mother sighed. "That's so Haseul." She sighed again. "I'll take a look." 

Haseul leaped out of bed to try and feign normalcy, attempting to put on her school clothes in the dark when her mom burst into the room. She didn't say anything, just put a hand on her forehead, and she knew it was over. 

"Get back in bed honey. Come on. There's no way you're going to school like this." 

"But- but-" 

"No buts, honey." 

"Who's gonna take Vivi to school?" 

"I will. Now, go back to sleep, and I'll take care of you as soon as I get home." 

With a hiccup Haseul slid back into bed, listening to the sounds of Vivi reorganizing around her. "Who's going to run the student council meeting this afternoon? What if Heejin needs more practice with her routine or one of Sooyoung's papers is due today? Is Hyejoo gonna be okay?" 

Vivi went over to Haseul, running her fingers through her sick-greased hair. "Get some rest, okay? Everything is going to work out just fine." 

Haseul wasn't sure about that. But her sickness beat her anxieties, and she fell right asleep.

~~~~~And One~~~~~

When Haseul woke up, the sunlight through the windows told her she'd slept long and hard. 

. There was so much she needed to do and-

As soon as she tried to get out of bed, the throbbing in her head reminded her why she wasn't doing all those things she needed to be doing. The feverish feeling returned, and Haseul wasn't sure if she could do anything of the things she needed. 

According to the alarm clock next to her bed, it was four in the afternoon. Right after school. She could only hope and pray that everything went okay. 

She was awoken from her thoughts by a gentle knock on the door. Haseul could only really grunt. 

"It's your mom, honey. You have some visitors." 

Haseul groaned and stretched. "Visitors?" 

"Yeah. Some friends from school. Can they come in? They really want to see you." 

"Of course," Haseul said, no expectations. Not even in her wildest dreams would she have thought anyone would wanna see her. 

But her bedroom door opened, and there they all were. Heejin, Hyunjin, Yeojin, Jungeun, Jinsoul, Yerim, Sooyoung, Jiwoo, Chaewon, and Hyejoo. The whole darn lot of them. Heejin had flowers, Yerim had a card, and Hyunjin had what looked like a steaming bowl of chicken soup in her hands. 

Haseul promptly burst into tears. 

The girls immediately rushed over to her, petting her back. 

"I'm sorry. It's just...how do you even know each other?" Haseul choked out. 

"When Vivi told me you were sick, I thought we should do something for you. Word got out and these girls thought so too, so we planned this," Jinsoul explained. 

"I made the soup myself," Hyunjin added. 

Haseul sniffled; she felt better just from smelling it. 

"You do everything for us," Jiwoo said. "This is the least we can do for you." 

"Thank you," Haseul said quietly as Yeojin passed her a spoon. "Really, thank you." 

"It's nothing, we promise," Chaewon answered, and Haseul managed a smile. 

She ate her chicken noodle soup while the girls sat around and chatted about everything and nothing. It felt nice, to be like this, even though she felt like . Just talking, not actually doing anything. 

"So, Haseul," Yeojin asked finally, once Haseul was finished. "What do you actually have?" 

"Mmh, probably the flu or something, I dunno." 

Sooyoung scoffed to herself and Jiwoo elbowed her.

"What?" Haseul piped up, and Sooyoung got that look on her face. 

"I think you're lovesick." 

Haseul flushed even worse than she already was.

"L-lovesick? No way. Wh-who would I even be lovesick for?" 

"Come on, do you really think we're that stupid?" Hyejoo mumbled and Jinsoul gave her a look.

"Be nice," she whispered, but Hyejoo just rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. 

"Haseul, we all know how you feel about Vivi." Yeojin finally spoke up.

The sick senior groaned and flopped back down onto the couch. As if she didn't feel ill enough already. 

"Don't be that way! It's really cute," Jinsoul said. 

"Cute? More like pathetic." 

"Pathetic? Why?" Heejin asked. 

"That you all can, just, tell! I haven't told a soul and somehow..." 

"Aren't friends supposed to know these things?" Yerim asked. 

"And you always seem to pick up on what's going on with us..." Chaewon added. 

"I...didn't realize you guys noticed that much about me." 

"We do! I promise," Yeojin answered. 

"I guess we've just all done a bad job at showing it before," Jungeun said. She and the other girls shared a shameful look. "We all talked about how much you do for us and...we feel kinda bad. We're gonna work on it." 

"Guys, it's okay! I-" 

"It really isn't," Heejin interrupted. 

"You do so much for us, we're gonna start doing things for you," Jiwoo continued. 

"Starting with the Vivi thing," Sooyoung finished. 

Haseul groaned and flopped one more time. "What could you even do about that?" 

"Tell you that she likes you back," Jungeun answered. 

Haseul froze for a second. "Wait, what? There's no way..." 

"She told me herself!" Jinsoul protested. 

"Come on guys, but-" 

"But what?" Hyejoo interrupted. 

Haseul sighed deeply, her chest heaving. You're all one to talk, she thought, remembering all of their romantic problems that they couldn't solve without her help. 

But maybe the same was true of her, that she needed their help to solve her own issues. 

"Even if she didn't tell you, it's kind of obvious, isn't it?" Yeojin spoke. 

"I mean...she's super nice, but she doesn't go out of her way to do everything for anyone except you," Jinsoul added. 

Haseul knew that not everyody was as self sacrificing as herself, but it was weird to think of anybody doing the most just for her. 

"She could just really like me as a friend..."

"Didn't you hear me when I told you she told me about how she felt?" Jinsoul answered. 

"Hey! Aren't you betraying her secret right now?" 

The girls all rolled their eyes. 

"Stop trying to change the subject!" Yeojin whined. 

"She would've said something already if she thought you liked her back," Jinsoul explained. 

"If I'm being so obvious, then why doesn't she know?" 

"She thinks you're just that nice to everyone...but she hasn't known you long enough to remember how you were before," Jungeun said. "You let her help you. You used to not let anyone help you. Before you met her, I don't think you would've even let us help you like this." 

"Not to mention you two are way too similar," Chaewon added. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You'll never believe someone likes you unless they tell you right in your face. Even then, they'd probably have to say it a few times for it to sink in for you." 

Haseul sighed. "So what am I supposed to do?" 

"What are you supposed to do?" Yeojin cried. "Isn't it obvious?" 

"You should tell her," Yerim finished. 

"But...but..."

"Weren't you telling me a few weeks ago about the importance of confidence?" Yerim piped up. 

"And weren't you telling me not to bottle up my feelings? That it's better just to show them, and tell people how you feel?" Jiwoo added. 

"All true, all true." And it had been true a few weeks ago when Vivi said she needed to take her own advice sometimes. She knew she was good at saying the right thing to do, but doing the right thing? Especially for herself?

"You can make time for her, though, right?" Jungeun asked. "It won't work if you keep making everyone else your priority." 

"You know, Haseul. Even if you took more time for yourself, we'd still be here. We're still your friends," Hyunjin said.

"If we had known how thin you spread yourself, maybe we'd think twice about asking so much of you," Heejin added. 

"No, no! I want to help you all. Really, I do!" 

"But we'd rather you be happy, and healthy," Yerim spoke. 

"And be with Vivi, and give her the time and attention she deserves," Sooyoung added.

"Let it go!" Jiwoo whined in her girlfriend's ear. 

"I dunno guys," Haseul mumbled. The girls all shared a look. 

"Maybe it's best we head out now," Heejin said. "You need to get your rest." 

"Yeah. I'll be back at school tomorrow, just fine." 

Hyunjin sighed. "If you're still sick tomorrow, stay home. Please." 

Haseul sighed too. "Maybe...I will." 

The girls all gave her a smile, waving their goodbyes and heading out. Once she heard the sounds of their cars pulling away, Haseul melted back into the couch. Her body was exhausted, but her mind was racing a mile a minute. Her friends had given her a lot to think about. 

But Haseul perked back up only a few minutes later when she heard the sound of the front door opening and Vivi's soft voice filtering into where she laid. Thinking about what Jinsoul said early, anxiety and excitement morphed into one ball of crazy in her stomach. Was Jinsoul telling the truth about how Vivi felt? Did she really have a chance with someone so wonderful?

And after saying hello to her parents, of course Vivi went first thing to go check up on Haseul. Of course. 

She opened the door slowly and quietly, padding along the floor. 

"I'm awake, don't worry." 

"Oh, okay." Vivi was still gentle in her movements as she sat beside Haseul's bed, letting her hand touch her forehead. It was intimate Haseul thought she could cry. 

"How was your day?"

"Mmh," Haseul answered. She loved her friends, but god was this easy. It was okay to feel ty around Vivi, and to show it. "Yours?" 

"Not bad, not bad. I see you had some visitors." 

"Yeah. I was pretty surprised, to be honest. Drained the life out of me but...I'll remember that forever." 

"It made me so happy when they told me what they were planning. I'm glad you could get back a little bit of what you put out into the world." 

"You're too nice." 

"Never." 

Haseul froze for a moment. "Anyways, what took you so long to get home? School ended a couple of hours ago." 

"Oh, I just wanted to get you some of the notes from the classes you missed today." Haseul immediately reached for the notebook in Vivi's hand, guessing it contained what she'd missed, but Vivi moved it out of her reach. "No way. You need to rest tonight." 

"What about homework?" 

"I got you excused. I had my mom write a note for your teachers this morning in the car." 

Haseul exhaled and looked away. "Wow..." Really, that was all she could say. 

Haseul loved the world. She loved people. That's why she gave everything to everyone...to show her love. 

Maybe, Vivi saw that. Maybe Vivi noticed the way Haseul showed her love, and maybe she did the same for the same reasons. Maybe, she did things for Haseul to say I love you too.

Haseul turned back to Vivi with wide eyes. Maybe she did have a chance. 

"Vivi?" Haseul asked, gripping the girl's wrist. 

"Yes?" 

Haseul looked up her from her spot buried under the blankets. God, everything about her was so soft: her eyes, her smile, her voice, the way she walked, the way she held, the way she thought. Soft, safe, and home. How could Haseul not have fallen?

It was a terrible time to say anything, with her hair stuck to her forehead with sickly sweat, smelling like ick and looking worse. But Haseul's illness addled mind had decided, and if not now, when would she have the courage again?

"I...um...you're really pretty." 

"Ah..." Vivi turned her head aside shyly. "Where did that come from?" 

"W-wait, but, you're way more than just pretty. I'm just...I'm just looking at you know. But like, you're smart, and nice, and cool, and funny, and courageous, and not afraid of adventure...you're just cool, okay?" 

"You too, Haseul." 

"No! No, I'm, I'm trying to...ugh, Vivi, I've never done this before, god it's awkward...." Haseul took a deep breath, trying to ground herself...what to ground to, she wasn't sure. "Okay. Vivi, I like you. Like, like-like you. Like, more than a friend kind of like you." 

Vivi’s reaction was immediate; she didn’t leave a second for Haseul’s nerves to take over and leave her anxious. Her smile was sweet and pink, just like cotton candy against a bright blue sky. 

“Me too,” Vivi answered simply. “Me too.” 

Haseul was at a loss for words. All she could do was shnuffle. Vivi just giggled.

“I thought you might feel the same, but I wasn’t sure. Because you’re nice to everyone.” 

“I don’t wanna be just nice to you. You’re special. You deserve a special sort of kindness.”

“And so do you.” 

Vivi tucked a lock of Haseuls’s oily hair behind her ear, taking a moment to trace its shell with her fingers. Haseul shivered and she was sure it wasn’t the chills. 

“Can I kiss you?” Vivi asked, barely above a whisper.

Haseul groaned. “I wish. But I don’t wanna give you this cold.”

“I probably already got it already. You know I can’t stay away from you that long.” 

Haseul barely suppressed a squeal….but Vivi’s health came first. No matter how badly she wanted her. No matter how many times she’d fantasized about this very moment. “No way. You’re not catching this.” 

Vivi smiled. “Alright. But as soon as you’re better I’m kissing you silly.”

Haseul blushed and she knew it wasn’t the sickness. “You better,” she managed to answer despite the fire under her skin.

~~~~~Epilogue~~~~~

And Vivi did kiss her silly, as soon as Haseul got up for school two days later finally feeling better. It was all she could think about in the halls, going from one class to another. That first kiss… oh, and that second kiss. It had been awkward as hell to hide from her parents, but god was it worth it. 

On her way to the soccer field to eat lunch, she could really think. Nothing had changed, at all, but really everything had changed. Haseul knew it was on the inside, mostly. Sometimes that was the biggest change you could possibly make. 

“Hey!” Heejin called suddenly. Haseul turned and smiled, seeing her and Hyunjin standing at a locker. Haseul weaved between her classmates, dressed to the nines for throwback Thursday for spirit week (even the freshman!)

“Hi! How are you?” Haseul asked when she finally made her way to her friend. 

“I made it! I made it on the dance team!”

“Congratulations! I knew you could do it.” 

“Oh, Haseul, you’re the best.“

“She really is,” Hyunjin piped up. “Elsa is better than ever. I guess there was some underlying issue going on, because Elsa has never been this energetic. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t driven me to the vet that night.” 

“You both know I’m always glad to help.” Haseul glanced down at her watch. “Well, I’ve gotta get going.” 

“Alright! See you around!” Heejin said as Haseul made her way back into the high school crowds, both girls waving at her back.

Haseul breathed a sigh of relief. It was weird, trying this new thing where she kept her time to herself. Normally, she would’ve stayed to ask both girls about every detail of their lives and offer a listening ear to any other problems they had. But she hadn’t! And they weren’t mad at her because she didn’t!

Haseul saw Hyejoo and Chaewon pass by her, hand in hand, not even noticing her while so wrapped up in their own little world. She smiled to herself; they were too cute. Them getting together was for the best, really. Chaewon felt confident about her APs and Haseul had never seen Hyejoo smile so much. 

She noticed Jungeun giving Jinsoul a kiss on the cheek goodbye. That had been a win too; with Yerim’s encouragement Jungeun had the balls to ask Jinsoul to the prom- and she said yes! A relationship didn’t come too long after. Jinsoul waved at her girlfriend and went over to talk to the new cheer coach, a smile on her face the whole time.

Then came Sooyoung and Jiwoo, both giving her the brightest waves. Sooyoung was too cool for spirit week, dressed in her (future) college sweatshirt, holding Jiwoo’s hand like it was the most precious thing in the world. And to her, it was.

Ah, couples. Speaking of, there was her own favorite girl. The way Vivi perked up when she noticed Haseul coming toward her gave her enough happiness to last through the day… or maybe even a lifetime. And the way Vivi pecked Haseul’s lips upon greeting her was enough to power the whole world. 

“How are you?” Vivi asked, rubbing her girlfriend’s arms. 

“Great, you?”

“Yeah. Getting lunch with Jinsoul.”

“Ooh, have fun!”

“Are you headed to the field?” Haseul nodded and Vivi kissed her again. “You have fun too.”

“Will do.” 

And so they headed their separate ways with smiles on their faces, Haseul pushing open the back door to the fresh wind on her face. She breathed a sigh of relief, making her way to her favorite spot in the grass. 

She pulled out her phone, opened Netflix, and put on her favorite show. Because this time was all for her and only her, doing something that served nothing but her own personal happiness. Haseul is a whole person, a whole person that can do things for everyone… including herself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: Vivi is MY manic pixie dream girl and nothing anyone says can change that <3 also the ending is a bit sloppy, sorry, wasn't sure how to end it plus i wrote it at work....anyways if you made it this far I hope you enjoyed!!!