Hyukjae observed Taemin physical’s traits. He as any other healthy normal men would find Taemin attractive, he was a beauty for sure, there was no room of doubt for that, like the mythical creature that came from the pale moonlight and all the purity surrounding him, one that would seduce men with its sensuality and kill them cruelly afterwards, it was close to inhumanly to describe the majestic features of this boy. Taemin was far from vicious though, he was just a sly siren, that was the trick he learned to earn at least something for a quick meal. But if only they met in different circumstances, Hyukjae would not hesitate to take the chance. Made a move on him and create a new chapter of his life on a blank paper. 

Even so Hyukjae was Donghae’s from the moment he was gifted with this life, the second he lay his gaze, Hyukjae's sole purpose was only to breathe for him, to be a loyal worshiper that swore for his dear life to protect and dedicate his mortality for this man. Donghae in Hyukjae’s humble description, was a wonderful companion, Hyukjae would not even trade him for a lifetime fortune. If Taemin was a beauty, Donghae was something else beyond that. Donghae was free, unstoppable, alluring, and he knew how to use those charms for his favor. Donghae was to put it simply, mesmerizing. Hyukjae struggled to find the word best suited for him, Donghae among other things was a lovely blooming lavender in the quiet breeze of autumn. 

Hyukjae moved from Taemin long and straight blond hair to his heart-shaped birthmark on his collarbone, next to the bobbing his adam apple, barely there but it would surely develop in few months or years. He was lean, refined, almost too skinny, his posture made him look tall, but they were roughly the same height. His fair skin unblemished, and Hyukjae found it guilty to compare him to those of young teenage girls. His face could fool anyone though, Hyukjae noted, and that was the essence of taking risk for him. 

They lay on the vast green field, Taemin was focusing on the broad blue sky, how the sun ray did not do any harm to his eyes was a wonder to Hyukjae. Hyukjae realized that it was daringly more interesting to look at Taemin’s gleaming face than the dull sky. 

Taemin had the book he just finished reading on his chest, he gripped it tightly, it was a gift from Hyukjae when they visited the flea market. Hyukjae had stolen a look before, “Aristotle and Dente Discover the Secrets of the Universe” crafted on the front page. Hyukjae wondered if it had something to do with the greek philosophers. 

“What?”

“What?” Hyukjae retorted.

Taemin responded with a light chuckle. “You were staring at me.” 

“I did not.”  

Taemin hit his chest playfully, a crimson blush on his cheeks made a warm guest for few seconds. “I won’t have problem with that, trust me.” 

“Okay, honestly though...” Hyukjae took his hand into his chest, soft skinned. He kissed each of Taemin’s fingers gingerly. 

“Yeah...”

“You’re beautiful, like ‘supermodel hot’. I think it’s a mystery how the universe created you in your own picture.” And Taemin laughed again, this time he let it out freely, for no one would hear them here in the remote area of an abandoned field. Big white smile and pearly teeth shown for him. He was clearly amused by Hyukjae daring statement. Hyukjae  could not suppress his any longer. 

“Is it meant to be platonic? Also, didn’t you said you had zero faith in God and all those superior beings?”

“Yes, has anyone ever said that to you?” Hyukjae shrugged, and then paused for another moment before he decided to answer Taemin’s unpredictable question. “I mean, everyone has their own version of gods. I refuse to reduce it into something as plainly  as a man with beard and long hair. For me you see there,” he pointed at the clouds, shifted to a flock of birds going to the south the next second. “The universe and all those things in it can be my own version of God.” 

Taemin shrugged. “A lot of times, I work in the street Hyukjae, those cheap pick up lines are the only things that define my worth. It doesn’t matter anyway.” 

“You’re worth more than any man I’ve ever met, you avoid to see it, but you do think about it.” 

“You missed the fact that I’m scarcely a boy.”

“One doesn’t have to be a man to realize their own value.” 

“And you’re so full of .” 

“Shut up, I’m trying to be poetic here.” 

And Taemin was staring at him with those brown big eyes again, lips puckering naturally. It was enticing, almost inviting at this point. Hyukjae leaned closer, but stopped immediately when he realized what he was about to do. His self-control did not betray him after all. Hyukjae barriers were stronger and bigger, and everytime he was pushed by his lust to the edge of his patience, Donghae’s face would appear out of nowhere from the back his mind. It was a reminder that everything was going to be alright. To know who he belonged and wished for. 

“You know what,” Taemin fixed his place, Hyukjae had spread his right arm on the ground for taemin head to rest on it. They tangled in warm embrace now. 

“What?”

“I can picture myself falling in love with you.” 

“I do that too, sometimes,” Hyukjae replied nonchalantly.

“But we can’t.” 

Hyukjae nodded, “Yeah, we can’t. It’s against my instinct as well as my will.”

Taemin frowned, “Do you find the idea of being with me so revolting?” 

“It’s not what I meant at all, I feel like what we have now is beautiful, it’s special, you are filling a safe space no one has ever touched in me, not even a lover. I don’t want to ruin that just because I can’t control my . I love Donghae too, dearly, and differently.” 

“Well thanks for that old man.” Taemin rolled his eyes as well as his back, but hyukjae kept him prisoner in his arm.