“Why does the rain comfort most of the people when they’re sad?”

 

Mina complained rather than asked and Chaeyoung scoffed at the girl because it is really obvious that she doesn’t like the current environment.

 

“Why do you hate the rain so much?”

 

The older rolled her eyes, somehow expected that the question will be asked back to her, but she answered the other, anyway.

 

“I just hate it. It gets my body wet, my belongings wet, it makes me uncomfortable with the things around me because I don’t want to touch or be touched by something or someone wet. I also don’t like it being loud, I’m somehow scared because of it, it doesn’t make my whole system at ease and I sometimes cry because of that.”

 

She explained while staring blankly at the darkness in front of them, playing with her fingers, distracting herself as she can sense that raindrops will fall any minute now.

 

“Oh, I see. Now, I understand. Thank you for enlightening me. I’ll now try to answer your question, if you still want to know the reason why…”

 

“Yeah, of course”

 

Mina glanced at Chaeyoung which she thinks is already contemplating with the right words she should say, so she can hopefully answer the other’s question and getting her point.

 

“Your question is why does the rain comfort most of the people when they’re sad, right? Well, there’s so many possible answers to it and all of it is similar to each other. I’ll break it down for you.”

 

The older chuckles, as if Chaeyoung is really serious in her random question.

 

“Some people find comfort in the darkness. The indication of rain is the sudden darkness in the clouds and when it eventually drops, there’s an abrupt darkness all over the place and some people find it comforting. It feels like walking around the empty streets with closed shops and just silence. The vacancy of the whole place seems like a personal emotional manifestation. And it’s probably connected to the fact that most people like to sleep with lights off because of the comfort of the darkness.”

 

The other girl just nods, indicating for the other girl to continue with the other reasons she has in mind.

 

“The rain makes everything slower and calmer, and yes, connected to the first one, darker. Those things make most of the people enjoy everything about the rain, even if it usually gives the feeling of sadness and being alone—they find some kind of joy in there and a whole new definition of comfort.”

 

Chaeyoung continued with her answers, as she can hear Mina just humming while trying to sink every single word she is saying.

 

“And also, this may be the most cliché answer, but when it’s raining, some say that it feels like the whole world is crying with you, as the rain can somehow be the same as one’s tears falling from one’s eyes. The rain comforts some people because it feels like the rain is saying that ‘go, comfort yourself’ and one will eventually cover themselves in their blankets and let themselves cry because it is one thing that can cleanse our soul and mind and feel better right after.”

 

Mina agrees with the statement. Chaeyoung already knows that the girl likes to cry, particularly when she’s stressed or doesn’t know what to do in her life, she knows that it is her escape from reality and her most effective way of releasing her emotions.

 

“Melancholy. When it rains, people feel melancholic about everything around them and that sadness that surrounds all of their being gives comfort. You know, when there’s a point in your life that you know in yourself that you’re sad, but you’re relieved that you’re feeling it?”

 

“You’re relieved because you’re still feeling the pain and that means you’re a human, after all?”

 

Chaeyoung gives the other a small smile, glad that she is getting her points, most particularly that reason because she wants her answer to be definite with what Mina is imagining.

 

“Exactly. It’s like some people are thankful when they feel melancholic all of a sudden, because their world suddenly stops and they will contemplate with all the things happening in their life, and that can be a possible reason for them to keep going because they want to achieve something or maybe get out of that phase in their life. I don’t know. I hope you understand any of the things I have said regarding your question”

 

The younger chuckles with her last words that made the other chuckle, as well.

 

“No worries about it, Chae. I deeply understand everything now. Thank you for that. Though, it doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t like the rain and I still can’t feel what others are feeling about it—being sentimental and stuff.”

 

By the time they decided to head back in their respective apartments as Chaeyoung brought Mina back home before she eventually went to her own, it’s only raining hard that they barely hear each other’s goodbye, but Chaeyoung made sure Mina will hear the words she wants to say before she fully leave the building.

 

“Mina, let’s meet again at any time we can, I want to keep on spending my time with you. For now, goodbye”

 

She whispered in the girl’s ears and waved, doesn’t even want to hear Mina’s response nor check her facial expression, as she knows the girl will text her about it when she goes back home.

 

“Same time tomorrow. What do you think? Let’s watch a movie in the cinema, if you’re okay with it.”

 

Chaeyoung put her bag and car and apartment keys in her side table as she reads Mina’s text, as she expected.

 

“Yeah, sure. I’m okay with it. I’ll fetch you again. See you tomorrow, Mina! Thank you for today. Have a good night.”

 

The day after comes and the rain is still nonstop, Mina and Chaeyoung still continued their plan and went to the cinema house to watch some tragic movie to partner it with the sad atmosphere.

 

They feel like being emotional that moment and did not stop them from crying and feeling sad when the conflict arose and the protagonists knew about the fact that one of them only has a few months left to live so they need to spend it the best way they can.

 

Every line that the protagonists let out gives a tug in both of their hearts and they can tell that the writers of the movie indeed gave all their heart and soul to write such script, such masterpiece and they want to praise them for that.

 

When the death of one of the protagonists eventually came, Mina cannot help it anymore and bawl her eyes out already as Chaeyoung is comforting her by tapping her shoulders and whispering sweet nothings in her ear while she’s also crying.

 

It was a bittersweet movie and both were satisfied to release their emotions through it. They decided to stay at the highest part of the building as it has a restaurant that serves their favorite pizza and pasta.

 

“How are you?”

 

“Eh? Okay, I guess. The movie was great, thanks for the treat, even if you don’t have to”

 

“It’s not a big deal, you already suggested it, and so might as well, I’ll be the one assigned for expenses.”

 

Mina chuckles at that idea. Their food eventually arrives and they are happy to eat their favorites after crying—feels like they had a breakdown and decided to eat what they are craving for right after.

 

“Why, Chaeyoung?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Why do you want to keep on spending your time with me?”

 

“Uhm, don’t you like it? Am I disturbing you with something?”

 

“No, it’s totally not like that. I really like spending my time with you, too. I mean, I just want to know the reason why, you know? But if you’re not comfortable saying it, it’s okay”

 

“A-ah, is that so? I don’t know, maybe because I’m too attached with you and you’re the only person who makes me feel that I’m me, so yeah, if you get that point”

 

“I certainly get that.”

 

Mina smiled sweetly at her and they continued to eat the remaining food on their plate. By the time they finished eating and enjoyed the comfortable silence and the minimal classical music as a background in their place, it’s already 10 minutes past 6 in the evening and there are rain showers outside.

 

“Chaeyoung”

 

“Yes, Mina?”

 

“I just want to express how grateful I am with your words, particularly the recent ones. I really appreciate it. I’m glad that I’m making you feel that you’re you. I’m proud of you, Chaeyoung”

 

They both smiled genuinely at each other and it makes Mina’s heart happy knowing that she’s helping a person, even if the other is not that open with what she is currently experiencing in life. She just wants her to know that she’s there when she needs someone.

 

“Thank you, Mina. It really means a lot. That’s one of the reasons why I really like spending my time with you.”

 

It seems like an angel just passed by when there’s no one talked for a while after that. They just decided to stay at the parking lot for a bit, staring at the dark skies above them as they listen to some romantic old love songs playing on the stereo.

 

When they eventually reached their corresponding apartments, they did their usual thing of messaging one another before going to sleep and planning another activity for the next day.

Ever since they became comfortable with each other, they cannot stop planning for their random getaways, particularly during the rainy season when Chaeyoung is slowly making Mina appreciate the rain and how it comfort their souls and gives an exceptional healing.

 

Even if most of the people like to stay home when it’s raining because they just like to wrap their bodies in their own blankets, Mina and Chaeyoung wants some adventure like eating outside, jamming in the rooftop, having a movie marathon, trying to compose a song and shoot a short film, or stay at one’s apartment together, to feel each other’s warmth and the comforting feeling the rain gives.

 

In that span of time, Chaeyoung succeeded with her goal and Mina eventually liked the rain, particularly because of that one moment that happened to the both of them that Mina will certainly not forget in her whole life.

 

“Mina, I actually forgot to mention one more reason regarding to your question why does the rain comfort most of the people when they’re sad?”

 

“Really? What’s that?”

 

The older started playing with Chaeyoung’s finger as she lay her head comfortably on the girl’s chest. They are currently in her bedroom while the continuous rain is heard all over the place. Chaeyoung lets Mina distracts herself from the loud sound by playing with her fingers because she wants her to know that there’s nothing to worry and be scared about because she’s there to accompany her.

 

“The rain washes away the pain”

 

The reason Chaeyoung mentioned is just simple, though, but it immediately gave a tug in Mina’s heart that made her shed a tear and it surprised the younger.

 

“Hey, is there something wrong with what I said?”

 

“N-no, it’s not like that. It’s just…”

 

“Breathe, Minari”

 

The girl did what she was told and when she eventually calmed down with the sudden crying, that’s when she explained what just happened to her.

 

“I just realized that maybe it’s not the rain I really hate, but the sadness and loneliness that has been clinging to my system when you’re still not in my life. I learned to love the rain and the sentiments of it, just like how you taught me that life is beautiful, even if there is darkness in it. Just like the rain, you bring comfort to my life, Chaeyoung. I couldn’t thank you enough for that.”

 

A loud thunder was heard after that and the both of them was startled and Mina cried once again, after all, she’s still afraid of it and nothing changes. Chaeyoung then completely hug the girl tight, praying in her mind that everything will stop already for Mina to calm down.

 

“Hush now, Minari. I’m here, I will never leave you. I will always be here, you’re not alone. I got you, love.”

 

Chaeyoung can feel the unusual breathing of Mina and she keeps on patting her back, letting her cry until the thunder and heavy rain is not heard anymore few moments after. Everything is falling into its proper places again.

 

“Mina?”

 

The girl’s arms are still wrapped around her body and Chaeyoung guesses that the girl fell asleep after she cried a lot that night. She also does not have any plans on letting her go, that’s why they slept in that position as Chaeyoung kissed the crown of Mina’s head.

 

“I’ll stay by your side until I can, love”

-----

Mina stares blankly at her bedroom window, waiting for the heavy rain to stop as she fully hugs herself in that cold and lonely night. It’s a rainy night in her life once more and a little more push, she will hate it once again.

 

She doesn’t want to cry anymore, but she feels like crying with the rain that night, as if the atmosphere is saying that it is now the right time to feel sympathy towards what happened months ago.

 

Once her heart felt the kind of heaviness she cannot seem to carry, that’s when her tears started falling nonstop like the rain in front of her.

 

“Chaeyoung, you once said that the rain washes away the pain, but how come it doesn’t wash my own the moment you left me? Why is the pain you caused me still here when there’s so many rain happened already?”

 

The person she’s talking to is not there by her side anymore, but she can sense her presence as she can feel that there’s something cold wrapped around her body despite her air conditioner being turned off and all her windows are closed.

 

“Why did you say that you’ll never leave me alone when you still left me in the end?”

 

She wails, feeling the heaviness in her heart and the exceptional pain she is feeling for how many months now. She just misses the girl dearly and she cannot do anything about it anymore.

 

She just hates that she didn’t get to say those words she wants the girl to hear when she was still alive, but she has no choice, but to whisper it in the wind, hoping that it will reach the girl who passed away already.

 

“Chaeyoung, I love you.”

 

 

There are both relief and pain when she whispered those words in the air and she can’t distinguish what to feel anymore.

 

Mina knows that she hates the rain since day one, she hates everything about it, but there's something in it that she learned to love and it is Chaeyoung—her forever love, amidst the melancholy, loud thunder, and darkness.