***

    Wendy watched awkwardly as all the people in the group stare at Seulgi expectantly. After who knows what program commenced in the auditorium, they were gathered at the room beside to form groups—for what reason, she also doesn’t know. She was busy fixing her bag the whole time, you see. 

    What she also didn’t know was, why Seulgi couldn’t introduce herself. Everyone took turns introducing themselves—not that they wanted to be friends but because a senior joined and they were basically compelled to do so. But now, everyone on the group had said their names, years and majors, and Seulgi was the last one to speak. All eyes are on her now, and she couldn’t as much open . But instead, gaping at some space, Wendy couldn’t put her finger on.

    Wendy tried to covertly nudge the girl beside her, whispering “hey, it’s your turn.”. But Seulgi only looked at her nervously, as if they were back pre-school and it was the first day of classes, and their parents left them alone to introduce themselves to superficially demonic strangers their parents told them about. 

    Before Wendy could ask what the matter was, suddenly—to the surprise of the everyone in the circle—Seulgi stood up and trudged out the door mechanically, as though she was conscious of every eye directed at her. Wendy, equally as confused, hastily followed after. She said “comfort room.” to the group in hopes of placating them.

    “Are you okay?” Wendy asked once they were outside.

    Seulgi agitatedly walked back-and-forth. She was crumpling her hair and releasing them repeatedly, whining under her breath like she was going to cry.
    
    After what seemed to be the 6th step course Seulgi had unconsciously followed, Wendy finally got tired of it, and grabbed her by the shoulder, but still softly, “Hey, what’s the matter.” 

    She was going to cry, Wendy knew for certain. 

    “Hey, hey. Don’t cry. Come on, tell me. Do you want to skip this? You don’t have to introduce yourself.” 

    Seulgi only nodded in return. 

    “Do you want to talk about it?”

    Seulgi nodded again.

    Wendy grabbed her hand and brought them to the school garden—the isolated garden where there were too many bugs and spiky plants for anyone’s liking, so no one’s there save for the equally troubled bunch—and there weren’t equally troubled bunch that day too, lucky for them.

    When Seulgi finished drinking the bottled water Wendy brought her, she inhaled and exhaled deeply. Hands fixing her tousled hair and wiping the precedence of tears. 

    She started huskily, “Do you remember that job Yeri gave me.”

    “Yes.”

    “Do you remember about Irene.” 

    “Yes, the one that suddenly disappeared and got you depressed as hell.”

    “She’s that senior.”

    It took moments before Wendy could register what Seulgi said. And when she did, she catapulted out from her seat to gape at the other girl. 

    “Her? The Bae Joohyun?” Wendy exclaimed disbelievingly. 

    Seulgi didn’t know why The Bae Joohyun, was what Wendy called her. Because if she was ever a person who deserved a “The” in their name, they ought to be someone famous enough for her to know. But she didn’t know a single thing about The Bae Joohyun except that she was Irene.

    “If that’s here name, then  yes.” 

    As if Seulgi didn’t take all that time to calm down, she once again stood up and nervously moved on her feet. While uttering,

    “This would be awkward.”

    “I don’t know how to act in front of her.”

    “What if she recognizes me?”

    Wendy stopped her again, 

    “Are you sure it’s her.”

    “Crystal. We’ve talked about a hundred times!” 

    “Jesus. You’re doomed.” Wendy said concedingly and plopped back on the bench.

    “Why? I’m just going to ignore her after this, if we never met in my whole life here, its unlikely that we would meet again right?” Seulgi asked alarmingly. She didn’t like the way Wendy said it. They weren’t doomed, just one meeting and all.

    “No, I mean the group.” Seulgi looked prompting her to continue.

    Wendy didn’t speak for a while as if searching her thoughts, so Seulgi spoke up instead.

    “Do we need to go back. I wasn’t listening—is that group important. Anyway, if we do—I mean, we need to get back—then tell them I got sore throat or something. That’ll work rig—”

    “No, I mean, we will be making a paper. From what I’ve gathered, the seniors were assigned to help for our paper. And…” 

    “Oh. Oh.” 

    “Yes, oh.” 

    “She has a sore throat and she couldn’t speak so…” Wendy started as they returned back to the circle. The other members were already discussing something, and stopped when they saw sitting back.

    They all nodded understandingly, but Bae Joohyun—or Irene, for Wendy and Seulgi—insisted for her name. 

    Bear. Seulgi said in her mind. No, shut up. This isn’t time for this. she added after.

    “Seulgi, Kang Seulgi.” Wendy declared instead.

    For a while, the circle only deliberated over the required school work and whatever, and Seulgi was stuck to nod and desperately try not meet the eyes of Bae Joohyun. 

    Bae Joohyun happened to be the girl who said “Good morning” in the stage a while ago, the one who also roused Seulgi awake and shunned her into a state of perplexity, frustration, and bordering insanity. She also happened to be attending the same college as her, in the same building as her, but thankfully (thank Gods), not the same major. It just so happens that time, that some of their subject were overlapping and the school administration thought it was a good idea for people of different majors to mingle for whatever purpose they had in mind.

    Soon enough, their group was walking down the corridor. The whole meeting had passed without Seulgi uttering a single word. And Seulgi thought—desperately thought—that she was saved, until Bae Joohyun decided to walk beside her. Reflexively, Seulgi stiffened and looked for Wendy: she was talking with someone ahead of the group.

    “So, Seulgi.” Joohyun articulated as if she was testing the words in .

    Seulgi almost opened , but caught herself right it time. She only resorted to a nod. 

    “Hmm. This is the first time I’ve seen you.”

    Nod.

    She tried to only look forward—not sparing the other girl as single eye-contact. But from her peripheral—she couldn’t stop herself from peeking—she could see the other girl’s face clearly. And gods be damned, she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Big doe eyes, small nose, soft lips, and small face. She couldn’t help but feel more nervous now, and she hoped the other girl would stop speaking already, because she feels like the something inside of her was willing to explode. But the other girl was adamant—Irene was always adamant and stubborn.

    “You have the same major as Seungwan-ssi?” Seungwan was Wendy’s Korean name. Wendy was originally from Canada and so, she had an English name. Thankfully, Wendy spared introducing herself as such except for her closest friends. 

    She nodded again. 

    As if the gods decided to be kind to her, they finally arrived at the buildings entrance. Seulgi watched happily as all her other groupmates dispersed to different directions. But she couldn’t help to feel disappointed when Joohyun smiled at her.

    “See you!”

    And maybe, you should’ve opened and called for her. “Irene” and they would be talking instead and she wouldn’t feel like the sun was walking away from her when Joohyun disappears from her sight. But she knew it wasn’t possible.

    *  *  * 

    For the days after, their meeting punctually commenced. Now that Seulgi actually listened—for the first time—she ascertained that the paper was for some competition. They were assigned some topic and were to defend it, for the coming school festival—or whatever. Then, it would be up for appraisal. The group who can make the best argument can win credits—both the seniors and juniors. The old man maybe had some loose screws to think of something this out of the blue.

    Seulgi, pitifully, had to continue her ‘sore throat’ act, and sometimes, she couldn’t help but feel guilty when her other groupmates would look at her understandingly. So, for most of the time, she tried really hard not to speak but instead, direct that energy to their work. And tried really hard to, when Joohyun speaks, suppress any emotion that it triggers no matter how infinitesimal it is. 

    “Hmm.” she hums a lot, like Irene does—she was Irene after all. Seulgi not only pretended to be temporarily mute, but also deaf and unfeeling too.

    Occasionally, someone would turn to her and ask something, but then grimace when they realize that she has a sore throat. Those kind of things—the way people looked sorry for her—destroyed Seulgi’s resolved little by little. She decided, when opportunity arises, she would actually start and mingle with the group.

    That opportunity arrived 3 days after their daily meetings. Joohyun wasn’t there because of some senior stuff. They were left to fend of themselves, but even without the senior, they could handle themselves pretty well, as the paper only needed some little changes and then, finalizing.

    She coughed once, monopolizing everyone’s attention in the empty classroom—save for them. And spoke for what must be the first time. 

    “Hi.”

    When she said that, she was met with gleeful smiles.

    “You don’t have a sore-throat anymore?” Kibum asked—she wasn’t really sure if Kibum was actually his name, though.

    “Yes. Fine as a…”

    “Bird.” Kibum finished for her. Was that even right? she thought.
    
    “Since you’re fine now, though its scheduled tomorrow, we should talk about finalizing. Not that I’m rushing, just so you could use your voice.” Taemin said. She was sure it was Taemin this time. Taemin was very loud.

    For the first time in her life, Seulgi enjoyed speaking. Partly because she missed using her voice to speak, but mostly, because her group was an enjoyable bunch. Most of time, they would joke around and chuckle—and Seulgi would desperately try to stop herself from joining. God, she was going through hell and back just not to laugh.

    Seulgi was intent on persevering this atmosphere, but the next day, Joohyun was back. So she was also back being a mute ‘sore-throat’ bear that she is. The other member paid no heed as there weren’t exactly a need for conversation. If anything, they were just wasting time waiting for the other members—the perfectionists ones (including Joohyun)—finish the task completely.

    They finished roughly around late in the afternoon. As always, they walked down the corridor with each other and separated at the entry way. Except, it was raining and Joohyun didn’t have an umbrella. 

    Seulgi watched uneasily as Joohyun fixed herself as though bracing herself for the rain. True enough, once the other girl fastened the whatever compartment in her bag, she threw herself without a second thought in the rain.

    “Wendy, let’s meet later.” she hastily breathed out, as she unsheathed the umbrella from her bag and open it, running to catch up with Joohyun.

    Joohyun paused when she felt there no more rain pattering all over her body. 

    “Oh. Seulgi.” she said dazedly when she noticed the girl beside her.

    “Are you sure you’re going this way?”

    Seulgi could only nod in return.

    Silently, only the loud patter of rain accompanying them, they walked tersely to the bus stop. Seulgi’s hands were quivering—was it because she was with Joohyun or because it was cold, she doesn’t know. She deftly fixed the umbrella so Joohyun wouldn’t get wet—even though she was already soaking—, but her shaky hands weren’t doing much help. Finally, they arrived at the bust stop, just that, it was more awkward than the walk.

    They were a foot apart, alone in the bus stop. No one dared to say a word. “Why is the bus taking too long.” Seulgi impatiently said in her head. She didn’t notice her foot was impatiently tapping as well. Joohyun only watched her curiously until,

    “Seulgi.”

    Seulgi looked at her.

    “Do you hate me.” she said confidingly. Hate her? she asked incredulously in her head. The world would be ending before she could hate her. Outside their phone- arrangement—which was always genial—, Joohyun was never mean to her, or anyone for that matter. She almost shouted a ‘No!’ but bit her tongue timely. She could only shake her head in return.

    “They why wouldn’t you talk to me?” Joohyun whined as if pleadingly. Seulgi raised her fist and was going to cough to show her ‘sore-throat’ but Joohyun cut her through it. “No, don’t give me that. I saw you yesterday talking with them. And, I also saw you today talking with Seungwan-ssi too.” she gathered her breath and released, “Did I do something wrong?” almost pleadingly.

    Nobody knew how much Seulgi wanted to talk to her, to open and tell her “no, you didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t feel bad.” but if she did, she knew everything would crumble for the both of them. Clearly because, you don’t meet with the person you had phone- with, especially when they confided to you their sentiments. She knew it would put Joohyun on a tight spot too.

    So like always, she remained silent, only staring ahead. Joohyun must’ve sighed exasperatedly, but still, she didn’t push and only copied Seulgi: stay silent until the bus arrives. The bus was sure taking its time. But Seulgi couldn’t put her mind into complaining, but instead, only wishing that the bus wasn’t full so she wouldn’t have to endure another 30 minutes of waiting.

    The bus arrived, finally. They waited for the people to file out—which was surprisingly few despite the rain—, and now they were stood in front of the door. Seulgi’s not actually taking the bus, her apartment was only a walk away. She only wanted to accompany the other girl, and leaving her there in alone would leave a bad taste in .

    She watched Joohyun insert herself inside, and tap her card on the reader. After she did, she turned back to Seulgi, waiting for her to enter. But Seulgi seemed to take her time standing outside. Finally, the door of the bus released a psh and started closing. Just that time, Seulgi decided to do something.

    Meeting the quizzical face of her senior—Bae Joohyun and Irene—for the first time, she opened , and said something barely audible in the rain. But Joohyun heard it, she was sure she did. Because she wouldn’t make that face—as if she was puppy left in the rain—when the bus finally moved.

    “If I do, then you would know me.” Seulgi whispered. And though the it was the same rain a while ago—the same sound, the same temperature, and size—when she exposed her hands outside the shelter of the bus stop, it felt like someone’s tears instead.

    *  *  *

    Seulgi expected it. That was the sole reason was trying so hard not to break from her resolve. But now, she’s done it. Joohyun was ignoring her and it’s been weeks. Though they don’t usually pass by each other in the building—hell, they never did for their whole in college, that’s why Seulgi never knew “the Goddess of Law department” or something—but somehow, after all this spiel, the devil of a god seemed to put them at the same place together at the same time. Out of the 24 hours of a day, and out of the hundred different ways of navigating the building.  

    The way Seulgi had persevered her sore-throat act solidly, the both of them had never allowed a single mistake to peek from their ‘this person does not exist’ persona. Seulgi thought they could be professional actors instead. 

    “Your problem’s fixed, why do you worry so much?” Yeri told her when they had their monthly tent bar meeting. As always Seulgi was spacing out with her glass of soju. But that sentence pulled her out of her thoughts as if it revolted her.

    “No, you don’t understand.” Seulgi grumbled indignantly.
    
    “Then explain.”

    “The thing is, I don’t want her to ignore me.”

    “But you ignored her.”

    “Well—yeah.”

    “Seulgi, can you really tell me what you really want?” Yeri said hotly. “You want this and that, and then you also don’t want this and that at the same time. Make up your mind.”

    Seulgi seemed to gather her thoughts for a while and with a resolved sigh, she started,

    “The thing is, I want to meet Irene. I want her to be part of my life—but I could not say for certain what part. Just that, I don’t want her to ignore me because its killing me. I want to ask if she’s okay. I want to know if she still—(she didn’t confide to anyone about Irene’s tears)—I mean—I want to know the person behind the phone. The reason I was ignoring her was simply because I don’t want her to ignore me.” Seulgi paused, realizing how confusing her words was. “Anyway, clearly my theory was right, she did ignore me, and she’s still ignoring me.” she finished concedingly with another vigorous gulp of soju.

    “Then talk to her, have a talk or something.”

    That seemed like a good suggestion but Yeri wasn’t an introverted, lone-sheep like Seulgi. She wouldn’t understand, Seulgi thought. So she could only roll her eyes instead. So much for asking her advice. She’s just as good as Joy as giving advice. Jump right into it, they say. 

    On the first day of September, they were gathered at the basketball court for another program or whatever. Seulgi asked Wendy but she also didn’t know what it was about. Nobody seemed to know what things are about these days. But still, as it was mandatory, they sat at one of the metal chairs out of what must’ve been a thousand chairs covering the whole court. 

    Like it was their first day in high-school, teachers encircled the seats in the middle, and the old man—which was the principal, Seulgi belatedly discovered—was once again commanding attention on the stage.

    “Oh! I remember, it’s got something to do with the law students, they’re going to have a show-case or something. Look! oh nevermind. I thought we were going to have a court simulation or whatever, it looks like they’re going to show-off the students of their alumnus again. See, those our alumnus surrounding us.” Wendy whispered beside her.

    When she heard ‘law’ her eyes immediately searched for Joohyun. Sure enough, she was sitting on one of the chairs behind the podium. 

    “Oh, Joohyun sunbaenim’s there. Bae’s her last name right? Now that I think about it, we had this Bae alumni years ago. I think I saw one of his pic—”

    Wendy was cut by the loud shriek from the speakers. People who spoke in mics always never knew how to handle mics. It always shrieks like a pig being murdered, and always inconveniences everyone. Seulgi saw Joohyun flinch.

    “Good afternoon to you all.” a middle-aged lady said. Promptly, the lights around them closed, leaving only a spotlight for the stage. Seulgi had long stopped listening since she heard the ‘good’ from the ‘good afternoon’ because when someone says ‘good afternoon’ the first thing in a program, they were bound to make the afternoon 10 ways away from good.  

    For the whole half an hour, not surprisingly, dull students spoke on the mic. Speaking of something about political reform she couldn’t care less about. She was Economics student after all, but even then, she couldn’t care less about Economics too. Wendy just to convince her not to do Philosophy just because she thought it sounded cool. “Do you want to die early? You don’t even know who Socrates is!” Wendy exclaimed.

    Once another quarter had once again pass, another student—a pimply, long-limbed guy—started his speech with a “what’s up”, but you could tell he was anything but a “what’s up” kind of guy and he was just only trying and failing to achieve what must be a laidback and cool person. His shirt was ironed neatly and his hair was fixed like he was waiting on his funeral. Certainly, not a ‘what’s up’ guy. Sure enough, his speech was a ‘good afternoon’ type of speech too. ‘What’s up’ guys don’t show-off at assemblies with their superfluous speeches anyway—that’s the first indication for everyone—, it was only ‘good-morning’ guys and Joohyun (Joohyun was an exemption for Seulgi). 

    In the middle of his speech, when he was talking about poverty—which everyone rolled their eyes about because clearly, the boy didn’t know a thing about suffering in poverty with the way he spoke—Seulgi saw a figure surreptitiously crouch around and navigate behind the curtains. When she looked back at Joohyun’s chair, it was empty. She thought the other girl only went to the comfort room, but another speaker had already stood at the podium—and nobody takes that long in a comfort room when they were going to speak next. Only, its either they fainted or they aren’t in the restroom at all.

    Something in her gut told her to, “Wendy, I’ll go to restroom for a while.” and walk out the court without waiting for a reply. 

    She opened the door the side of the court, and started to march to the building nearby, where the nearest restroom happened to be. But stopped when she saw a crouched figure at the other end. “Joohyun-sunbae?” that was the first time she ever said her name.

    True enough, when she walked the right distance—a feet away from the crouched figure—it was Joohyun. Joohyun was the only person she could think that would look that tiny when crouched.

    She stood awkwardly beside her, watching the way the window at the building get wiped assiduously. Spray. Spray. Wipe. If Joohyun heard her steps or not, she didn’t know. 

    “What are you doing here.” Joohyun finally whispered. Her face was tucked inside and the voice had a feel of a lost animal crying from a cave.

    Seulgi stiffened and hastily tried to make an excuse, “Uh—I wanted some fresh air.” and failed.

    “Go over there. Away.” Joohyun said again. Seulgi finally got a hold of herself and spitted out,

    “Are you okay?” Worry was evident on her tone, except, the other girl didn’t seem to care about anyone’s worries. Damn, she said the cursed question. No Seulgi, she’s definitely not okay. 

    “As okay as I can be… Now, go away.”

    Seulgi decided to digress instead, a distraction always worked. “Why did you ignore me?”

    “The same reason you ignored me. You don’t meet someone you had contracted to phone-  with no?”

    “Well… yes.” Seulgi coughed and fidgeted on her legs.    “But, it’s not all that right?”

    The truth was, Seulgi knew they were bound to ignore each other, because things were bound to get awkward too. But, she felt like there was more to it. Because, when she thought about it, she could catch a conversation—although awkward—with the person she phone-ed with and happened to meet.

    Joohyun didn’t speak of a while. The air around her seemed hesitant—more unlike the way she always stood as the leader of their group, or when she spoke in front of the assembly one time. 

    “I don’t like it… feeling exposed.” she paused as if trying to catch the words floating around her head and continued,
    “I never cried in front of anyone, tell anything about anyone. And I plan to keep it that way. Have you ever opened up to anyone—because, I never did. Whenever I do, I had this voices in my head telling me that I can’t expose myself to anyone or else they would use them against me. I don’t want anyone to know because the me now, is all I will ever be.”

    “Mhm—”

    “But fate’s a little right? You know me. Everything about me, and I feel absolutely .” 

    At this moment, Joohyun had raised her head to look at Seulgi from below. Despite her dazzling doe eyes and soft features, her face donned a look of grimace and fear. Seulgi had only seen the look of vulnerability once with Wendy, but she was sure - Joohyun was looking with the same sentiment with with more intensity, as if she’s afraid Seulgi’s going to do with that information and break her apart. Seulgi won’t harm her, no. She understood everything very well.

    “I never did.” Seulgi said.

    Joohyun furrowed her brows and wondered where the reply was meant to,

    “I mean, I never did open up to someone, so I could never truly grasp what it means to feel exposed or .”

    “Good for you.” she scoffed after.

    “But. I do know how it feels. The fear to confide to anyone, to share sentiments, and everything I have in mind. Despite wanting to open up to anyone, I always cave-in and I still haven’t taken a step to shy away from that.

    “Seungwan-ah only knows a little more than everyone.” 

    Joohyun didn’t respond after that. She only stared at the ground as if she was looking for any cracks in between, chin planted on her knees. But the silence wasn’t deafening. It seemed like they allowed the wind speak the words remain unspoken. 

    Seulgi watched her attentively, and by doing so, she noticed how the other girl was very small—both physically and whatever it meant to be someone not to be small. There crouching on the ground, big doe eyes taking note of every dead grass sprouted from the ground; she seemed like someone a person can hold on their palms, Seulgi thought.

    Joohyun stood up and dusted her jeans. “I’m going back.” she said with finality. 

    “Wait.” Before Joohyun could pass her, Seulgi took hold of her wrist. Her eyes pleading for the other girl not to swat her away. 

    “What do you want.” 

    Seulgi didn’t register the question: her mind paused when she felt that the fragile hand she held, was shivering like a lost animal. “You’re not okay.” Seulgi whispered. “Are you sure you can do this?”

    “A lot of people are not okay Seulgi. A lot of people queuing to speak in front are bound not to be okay before it. But you can’t do anything about it, okay?” Joohyun responded venomously. 

    Seulgi didn’t know what came to her, but suddenly, she was hugging the other girl. She held the dainty body in her arms, very softly as if afraid that she was going to break it. 

    Joohyun was stiff in her arms, and tried to push her away, even. But Seulgi didn’t let go, and it paid off, when Joohyun finally released the tension from her body in a sigh, and decided to clutch the front of Seulgi’s shirt instead. Very strongly, as if Seulgi was going to fly away if she didn’t claw at it strong enough. 

    Seulgi initially didn’t know why she hugged her, and now she was also at a crossroad as Joohyun didn’t let go, even if she had already dropped the hug. More so when, Joohyun pulled her closer and leaned her head on her shoulders. 

    Will she cry? Seulgi thought. The only time anyone had cried in front of her, was when Wendy found out that they would be flying to Canada for summer and their hangout plans were canceled. It was trivial, for Seulgi—Wendy admitted it too. So, she was only chuckling as she tried to coax the other girl. She even too. But aside from that, no one ever cried in front of her—whether it be flying to another country for summer or something more serious. Though, maybe you could owe that to the fact that there wasn’t really much people she was close with. 

    Hence, she was slightly panicking and regretful now, when Joohyun’s hot breath met her collarbones. She watched this in the movies—this is how people cry. But after a gruel wait, no tears were shed. It was only Joohyun’s heavy head, her warm breath, and her strong grip that almost choked Seulgi with the force. 

    Panic fading, Seulgi relished on the new sensations instead. Irene is here, hugging me. She is real, this person is real and I could touch her and see her. We finally met, and the flame inside me - whatever it is - is slowly going back. 

    Lavender was the most prominent thought that engulfed Seulgi. She smells good. Lavender. And she never wanted to hold anyone closer than the girl who smelled like Lavender. And so she did—hugged her again, as if she meant it, as if it wasn’t an accident or a spur of the moment. And Joohyun returned it back, with the same vigor. They both looked like they were afraid to let go. 

    “It’s going to be okay.” Seulgi had no control of at this point—owing it to the intoxication of her brain. And she wasn’t really sure if her words were worth anything more than letters compiled together. 

    Joohyun didn’t respond, instead, she tightened her grip around Seulgi’s torso—as if her initial grip wasn’t strong enough.    

    “You say it as if you’re sure.” she whispered.

    “I’m not.”
    
    Their hug seemed to stretch to an eternity, that if Seulgi were to count it, she would’ve assumed they spent hours hugging each other and it was already nighttime. But it was still in the afternoon, and the sun was still vengeful at this hour. But it also seemed too fast when a mic dropping shrilled from the court, prompting them to pull away from each other. 

    “I’m going now.” 

    Seulgi wasn’t sure if things were going to be okay, and she had no clues to prove it, except the fact that Joohyun was Irene. She was dainty and fragile in her arms, and yet, she faced the world as if she was meant to rule it. And she would never truly confirm if it indeed went okay because when she watched Joohyun retreat inside, she went to the restroom to nestle her chest that seemed to move in its own. Why she was feeling this, she didin't no. Except, she didn't want to see Joohyun at her the same way again - as if she was lost and afraid. 

A/N: Idk what the hell college people do - if they do group works or whatnot - but anyways, change of plans, this prolly wouldn't be one-shot, two-shot, etc. anymore. Just that, I will update whenever I can and whatever amount it happens to be. And ! - I also changed a lot in chapter 1 because the first draft was ...  thanks for reading. I will change the title too ig