Click., click.

                The atmosphere was awkward and the air was filled with anticipation. Eyes from here and there shifted back and forth at each other, and then back down at their shoes.

                Tic-toc, tic-toc. 

                No one has uttered a word ever since each of them entered the lobby. The only sounds keeping the silence away were coming from the keys of the keyboard under the nurse’s fingers. And the forever ticking hands of the clock hung high above on the white wall of the waiting room, the one item that everyone in waiting wanted to crush so badly because they all wanted to stop time. But none of them got up from their seats and threw the clock onto the floor. Because they all knew it wouldn’t happen.

                Time wouldn’t stop as they wished. The truth is near.

                The door from the office opened up. All eyes were laid on the nurse who handed the orange envelope to the other nurse who was typing on the computer just a moment ago. The orange envelope was what they all feared, since it contains the result.

                The nurse glanced down at the name written on the orange thing. Then, she looked up and opened to speak.

                Everyone at the lobby stopped breathing as if they would miss hearing the name that the nurse was about to call out.

                “Kim…” Everyone who’s surname isn’t Kim exhaled a sigh of relief. “Eunmi!” The nurse called. The girl who is probably Kim Eunmi looked lost. She stared at the other girls around her, and then at the orange envelope.

                The nurse slapped the orange thing onto the counter and resumed to tapping on the keyboard with her nails. She didn’t look up again.

                Shewouldn’t look up again, unless another orange envelope is given to her again.

                The girl with the name of Kim Eunmi picked up the orange envelope quickly. She didn’t walk away, but unenclosed it and took out the white piece of nightmare inside.

                The result.

                She looked at it in shock as if it wasn’t what she expected and covered . And then, she ran out of the room in tears. The nurse at the counter could care less. After all, this is the reaction of most of the girls who received their results.

                Krystal, a slim figured girl, sat impatiently in her seat, just like the others. She glanced out the window at the girl who just ran off until she was out of sight. She swallowed hard and looked back down at her feet.

                The girl next to her made a gagging sound. Krystal quickly turned her attention to the girl. That girl got up immediately and rushed to the restroom. The unpleasant sound continued through the thin door of the restroom. The other girls moved around uneasily in their seats.

                The same nurse came out again with another fresh, orange envelope.

                “Jung…” This is it. She knew it was her turn. “Krystal!” the nurse called and slapped it onto the countertop again.

                Krystal’s legs felt numb as she got up. She dragged herself to front of the room and picked up her result. She took out the white paper inside at the moment just like what the previous one did.

                Negative. Negative. Negative. She shut her eyes and prayed.

                When the white piece of paper was fully drawn out, she opened her eyes. She scanned clumsily through the letters on the paper until she found what she was looking for.

                Positive.

                “Um…” She looked at the nurse nervously, but the nurse didn’t look back at her. Her eyes were fixed on the screen of the computer.

                “If you’re going to say that there must be a mistake, then don’t bother. They all say the same thing.” She still didn’t look up as she said those words.

                Everything went back to silence besides for the tapping of the keyboard. And the clock that never stops ticking.

                Krystal ran out of door just like that girl from before, but she didn’t cry. She was just incredulous. She breathed in the fresh air outside after suffocating under the smell of alcohol and rubber back at the clinic. She took a look at the paper again to confirm. And it was true.

                She is pregnant.

                The first thing that came to her mind was Jinho, her boyfriend, the guy she has been dating for over a year. She reached for her phone and texted:

‘Are you busy?’ – Krystal

‘No, I was just about to call you. Let’s go eat.’ – Jinho

                “Ahjumma, two orders of spicy tteokbokki!” Minho called as soon as he sat down.

                “Yeh!” The lady replied.

                “Hey, sorry for being late, I had some business to take care of.” He apologized quickly to Krystal, which seemed insincere.

                She nodded at his excuse as if she accepted his apology.

                “Oppa,” she began to speak.

                “Two orders of spicy tteokbokki coming!” The lady came to their table and placed the steaming food down.

                “Looks delicious,” Jinho looked at the rice cakes adoringly and began slurping down the treat. In the midst of eating, he noticed that Krystal wasn’t eating. She was just staring at him eat.

                “Did you eat already?” he asked her.

                “Oh, no.”

                “Then why aren’t you eating?”

                Krystal took a bite off a rice cake and chewed it thoroughly before she swallowed. She wasn’t hungry at all. It must have been due to her pregnancy. Her appetite changed.

                “Oppa,” she began again.

                “Hmm?” he answered as he continued eating.

                “What if I’m pregnant?”

                Pregnant. That word did it. He stopped eating and placed all attentions to her.

                “What would you do if I’m pregnant?”

                Jinho’s expression became serious and anxious. He looked up at Krystal.

                “Are you telling me you’re… pregnant?” He asked with a cautious face.

                “No, I’m just asking what if.”

                “Then, that’s a relief.” He sighed gratefully.

                “Huh?” Krystal mumbled silently.

                “I thought you were for real,” he laughed. “It would have been troublesome then. You should know that I’m not rich or anything. There’s no way I would be able to support you.”

                “Yeh.”

                “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

                “Yeh.” That was all she could say.

                “C’mon eat before the food gets cold.” Then he continued eating.

                Slurp. Slurp.

                She stared down at the food and forced another one into . The moment she swallowed it, she felt it coming right back out.

                “Oppa, I have to go,” she said quickly and ran off.

                She made sure he couldn’t see her before she leaned over and threw back up the food that she just swallowed. There was no tissue so she wiped the saliva off with her sleeves.

                You must stay strong Krystal, she thought to herself.

                “Don’t cry, don’t cry.” She whispered to herself over and over again as she walked clumsily down the empty streets.

                But the more she told herself not to, the more tears formed in her eyes. It was hard to see with her vision all blurry. Especially that it was night time. She sat down against the wall of a building and cried like she never did before until she heard someone yelling.

                “Who the hell is disrupting the peace in front of my shop?!”

                Krystal got up quickly and left before the owner came out with her broomstick.

                “You’re still a minor. You’ll need your parents consent for an abortion.”

                “I don’t have any. I’m an orphan.” Krystal said.

                The lady looked at her for a second and then took out a form for her to sign.     

                “Fill this in and wait over there please.” So she filled in the form.

                Don’t be afraid, you’re doing the right thing, she thought to herself after every word she wrote down in the form.

                The vibration in her pocket caused by her phone startled her. She dropped the pen onto the floor. Everyone turned their attentions to her for a few seconds. She quickly picked up the pen. Soon the people lost interest.

                Krystal took out her phone. The incoming call said “Sunyoung”

                “Hello?”

                “Hello Krystal?”

                “Yes Sunyoung?”

                “Um, did anything happen yesterday?” She asked nervously.

                Krystal paused. Did Sunyoung see her at the clinic by any chance yesterday?

                No it couldn’t be, she thought.

                “No, why?”

                Sunyoung doesn’t know that she’s pregnant. But she knew that Krystal met up with Jinho yesterday. She called Krystal because Jinho wouldn’t pick up her calls. He promised her that something would happen that night, but she never received any news from him. She grew so impatient that she had to ask Krystal herself. Of course she was disappointed that nothing happened.

                “Jung Krystal!”

                Krystal heard her name, but she couldn’t move.

                “Jung Krystal!” The voice called again.

                “Here,” she finally answered.    

                “Follow me please.”

                The lady brought her to an empty room. There was only a bed and a lamp on a desk. The walls were old and the paint was peeled. The place doesn’t look too sterilized, but it was the only one she could afford.

                “Please change into these clothes. The doctor will meet you in a few minutes.” Then, the lady left her alone in the room with the white patient’s clothes.

                Krystal didn’t change. Her body was frozen. She wasn’t sure if she wanted it, the abortion. She didn’t move at all until the door opened up again.

                “What are you doing standing there? You were supposed to change.” The doctor entered the room holding a tray. In the tray, Krystal could see a syringe and some other tools that don’t look clean at all. The the pallor on her face appeared instantly as she stared frighteningly at the sight. Then, she pushed the doctor aside sending the tray flying across the room. She threw the patient’s clothes into the floor and ran as fast as she can away from the building.

                She finally stopped running and was able to catch her breath. She placed of hand on her chest to feel the heart skipping.

                “What were you doing?” She asked herself. Tears swelled up in no time. 

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Sorry if it sounds so boring and draggy ><