Chapter 4

Joohyun dropped her car keys on the table beside her door, rolling her shoulders and massaging it with a hand to relieve it off its tension, sighing contentedly. The ache all over her body is the good kind, something she’d never want to get rid of if it makes her closer to the cause of it.

She noticed a red blot on the skin of her wrist, small nearly unnoticeable if you didn’t look at it close enough. A smile stretched on her face, reminding her of her moments with a certain someone – of rare occasions when she would get possessive of her. Even if it’s a playful bite on the nose or a chaste kiss on the lips while reading together or little things like this small red blot, she treasures it.

She just dropped her off at her apartment, shared a few minutes of making out on the other girl’s couch but she already misses her.

“It’s barely been five minutes since I got home,” she chuckled softly, caressing the small red blot so tenderly like she’s caressing the person who gave it to her, that one person who marked her. It’s silly how addicting simply spending time with her can get. Her mind brought her back to that moment.

Butterfly kisses in the dark, the soft hushed sound of the TV screen playing a movie they didn’t care to watch. Cold nose tip trailing soft milky white skin, gentle caresses on shirt-clad chests trailing a path towards the hitched up hem exposing the abdomen southward. Of bated breaths and crumpled sheets, of peaks meeting warm mouth, blunt nails scratching back in response. Moans and groans syncing along with the soft murmurs of a forgotten film. Name whispered on wet and supple lips, against the pulsing skin of her vein, “Joohyun”.

 Joohyun went straight to her room, heart alight and warm with affection, the memory reeling in her mind’s eye like the film they barely watched, lips stretched small yet her face bright, only now it’s a title-less short film of their moment together.

That moment will forever be stored in the recesses of her mind, locked for the days when she needed it most. It’s always like this when she’s not with Seungwan. Oh, how she wished she met Seungwan sooner.

Ping! Her phone chimed with a customized notification for a certain contact, she didn't need to look at the message to know she’s being called again. That tiny bubble she’s in a few seconds ago bursting, slapping her back into the reality she’s born into - a reality she never chose. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her nerves. I wish I met you sooner, Seungwan.

Times like this she wished she had enough courage to leave her life behind and just chose to stay in that cabin with Seungwan, with the girl's warmth and affection wrapped around her.

---

“Joohyun, smile,” like the obedient daughter that she is, she smiled, perfectly straight and white set of teeth pulled into her default smile, well-practiced even under the fake smiles and prying gazes of her father’s company and subordinates. The hand on the small of her back, rough and hard as she let herself get pushed along to be introduced to investors and stockholders.

"You're gonna run this place soon. Meet the people you'll be working with the sooner the better," her father whispered between an identical smile like her own. People told her she got her father's looks and her mother's personality but Joohyun refused to acknowledge those, preferring to be recognized for her own person -- her own brilliance.

And yet...

This is where she belongs, what she’s born into, where she’s supposed to be, under the harsh light of glitz and glamour, yet – she felt suffocated in this place, in this dress, in this company. Even the faintest sigh is noticed, scrutinized by everyone, she felt like an object under a microscope. She coughed behind a hand gracefully, a light chuckle escaping her lips to hide her anxiety. It’s taking everything in her not to bolt through those wide double doors and run into Seungwan’s warmth, scent, and comfort.

Seungwan.

---

She met her back in the summer before their sophomore year in college. Actually, meet is not the correct term; the more appropriate word should be ‘heard’. Their college is a rather all-exclusive women’s university. Students who came from other countries tend to create quite the news around campus. Something almost every student from conservative households doesn't get to encounter very often.

An intellectual who bagged awards in the States, who graduated from a prestigious boarding school in Canada, a daughter to one of Korea’s elite families. It’s nothing new for her. Some students have the same privilege as the freshman student. Some are awarded, too. 

But privilege is a funny thing. Money, to be exact, can get you anything you want. She knows that, too. As long as you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you can get anything you want. But not Son Seungwan. Money, privilege, status – she got it all, but she doesn’t show it. Above all, she doesn’t have to be so kind to everyone. But why is she?

“Joohyun.”

“Joohyun,” she blinked once and looked at the person calling her name. It was Seulgi, leaning on the table beside her, staring at her funny like she’s biting the cap of her pen. Joohyun looked down at the pen in her hand – funny enough the cap has bite marks and a thin sheen of saliva, she coughed to hide her embarrassment ignoring the teasing smirk on Seulgi’s face. The girl beside her knows it’ll kill her if she utters a word of what she just did. That was unbecoming of her.

“I’ve been calling your name for a while now,” Seulgi replied, pulling the empty chair besides her right after dropping her bag on the table, creating a makeshift pillow of it – if any other student were found in that kind of position they’d be kicked out immediately but not Seulgi. It’s another show of privilege – of power.

The musky smell of mahogany and worn down pages of literature diminished by the scent of lemon and jasmine, Seulgi’s perfume, and the faint scent of coffee -- her childhood friend must have visited the school café before coming to look for her. “Thought I’d find you here, did you put your phone on mute again? Your dad’s been trying to reach you.”

Joohyun checked her phone and sure enough she found 10 missed calls from her father alone and twice from Seulgi and a few messages asking her of her whereabouts. She sent her father a text informing him she’s in the library studying. The tac tac of pen over the table caught her attention. Joohyun raised an eyebrow at Seulgi, scrutinizing the behavior of her friend who’s disrupting the solemn atmosphere of the library.

“Stop it,” Joohyun told her, Seulgi just smirked at her in response. She went back to her notes, skimming over it to study like what she’s supposed to be doing before Seulgi came.

It was a few quiet moments of notes reading alo