You're inside of my head,

Inside of my mind,

Don't leave me behind.

Got my head in the clouds,

Just tryna come down,

From this blue,

I'm rain falling for you.

Kim Chaewon has always thought she has bad luck. As expected, she’s right.

Her day started with uncharacteristically waking up late, and just like any normal univ student, she knows that will be the start of a horrible day. She has always been the type to plan things, she finds peace on keeping her daily routine in check. Of course, minimal disturbances are inevitable, but waking up at 10:30AM when she got classes at 8AM is definitely NOT considered minimal.

It doesn’t help either that she wakes up with a throbbing head, the light peeking through the curtains makes her mood at least four times worse. Maybe sleeping at 4am in the morning is not a good idea – oh, it’s clearly not. Not when she drinks a glass of cold water, and all she could think about is accidentally murdering that shameless dude who was assigned to be her partner on one of her major classes. Said dude who got oh-so-conveniently sick and unreachable the night before submission of their midterm project, thus leaving Chaewon with no choice but to finish it herself – yep, the main cause of all this disturbance on what should have been just another boring day on Chaewon’s peaceful life.

She doesn’t want to go to jail though, so maybe murder would be off the table for now. And Chaewon is too busy anyway, she wouldn’t know where to fit ‘taking care of that dude’s remains’ on her schedule. As much as she wants to jumpstart her ‘Dexter’ career, she’s an Economics Major – body disposal through chemicals or whatever means is just not her forte. (Not yet, at least.) That doesn’t mean she’d let that guy get away scot-free though, of course. Violent thoughts aside, she hurries off to prepare, for she has to head out within a few minutes if she doesn’t want to be late for her next class.

She arrives just few seconds before the start of class – beads of sweat all over her face, slightly paler than usual, dark bags under her eyes, hair disheveled from all the running she has done – yeah, she’s still pretty, but anyone who says she doesn’t look tired would be outright lying. The professor – a kind lady in her mid-forties, one of the very few professors Chaewon actually likes – asks her if she’s alright, which she simply answers with a small smile and a quick nod.

She immediately sees her friend – Yena – enthusiastically waving at her, gesturing for Chaewon to come sit at the empty chair Yena must have saved for her. She complies, letting out a heavy sigh as she takes a seat, tired but relieved that she at least didn’t come late for this class after completely missing the previous two.

“Your girlfriend told me to give you this,” Yena hands over a cup of hot chocolate, making Chaewon immediately sigh again at her friend’s choice of words. She’s just having a not-so-good-day, and her same-aged friend’s teasing remarks make it impossible to not scoff. The girl’s next words though unsurprisingly make Chaewon’s unlucky day just a tad bit better, “Minjoo was waiting for you. She was worried since you weren’t answering her calls.”

She takes a sip from the venti cup, noting that it has already gone lukewarm – an indication that Minjoo must have waited for some time. Chaewon unconsciously let out a sigh again, mentally scolding herself, “Kim Chaewon, stop making that poor girl wait all the time.” On her defense, it’s not like she has ever told the younger girl to wait for her or whatsoever. Still, she feels bad for the thought of making Minjoo worry, she must have been wondering where Chaewon went. (She’s someone who enjoys a boring and scheduled life, it’s very rare for her to be late, let alone miss two classes.)

Having enough of her thoughts, Chaewon rummages her bag; searching for her mobile phone. She was in too much of a hurry to leave home – she just vaguely remembers tossing her device somewhere in there – afraid to miss the bus, and possibly missing the submission of their midterm project which is the very reason she had to stay up all night.

From Minmin, 18 June 2023, 6:20AM: min morning~~

From Minmin, 18 June 2023, 7:05AM: unnie, are u still sleeping?

From Minmin, 18 June 2023, 7:15AM: ahhh nooo ofc u can’t reply if ur still sleepin sorry T___T

From Minmin, 18 June 2023, 8:15AM: u have 8am class, ryt? is everything okay????

From Minmin, 18 June 2023, 10:47AM: chaewonieeeeeeeeee T _____ T

Like some sort of spell, Chaewon’s frown is quickly replaced by a bright smile upon reading the messages – her eyes crinkling at the edges, lips stretching into a toothy grin – she suddenly doesn’t look as tired as when she first entered the lecture hall. (Yena would say she looks stupid laughing at nothing now, but the girl knows better than pissing off a sleep-deprived Chaewon.) She sends a short reply, thanking the younger girl for the hot chocolate. Chaewon spends the rest of the day with a smile on her face, completely forgetting the minimal disturbances that have happened to her morning. Yena shakes her head, not-so-quietly mumbling, “And she says she doesn’t like her. Sureeee.”

Chaewon has always been one with a sharp hearing, and Yena isn’t exactly being quiet either. (Yena is Yena – loud. Very loud.) Of course, her friend’s snide remark doesn’t pass by her ears, but she mindlessly shrugs it off. Her liking Minjoo? That’s just absurd, silly even.

Okay, maybe it would be possible in an alternate universe – one wherein Chaewon isn’t uselessly pining over her childhood friend who sees her as nothing but a younger sister – thus, Yena is just spouting nonsense. This is further proven after class, when she enters her favorite coffee shop, and all Chaewon could see is her favorite girl – standing behind the counter, looking ridiculously gorgeous as she takes the order of the customer in front of her.

Kwon Eunbi.

Kim Chaewon hates to admit it, but she’s head over heels for         a certain Kwon Eunbi – her best friend for as long as she could remember, always there on every step of Chaewon’s oh-so-uneventful life. Her beautiful Eunbi-unnie who owns this equally (not really, Chaewon would insist it’s not a fair fight) beautiful coffee shop she always frequently goes to. It wouldn’t take a genius to know why she’s always here, but she’d say (or, pretend rather) it’s the soothing ambiance and superb coffee she always goes back for. (She doesn’t even like coffee, okay hot chocolate then.)

Yeah, definitely not the girl who makes the said superb coffee. Not the girl with a shining smile, shining eyes, shining everything – just…shining. For Chaewon, Kwon Eunbi is a dazzling existence, a flicker of light that’s much brighter than any star, planet, satellite or any heavenly body out there. That sounds cheesy, but that’s just how she sees it. She can’t put it any other way, really. And just like those gleaming entities up above the sky at night, she’s…unreachable.

Oh, sparkling Ms. Kwon Eunbi, why can’t you just fall for Chaewon the way she has fallen for you years ago?

Over the years, Chaewon has grown to love the older girl who has always been a constant in her life. Just…the exact same way she has watched Eunbi fall for someone else over the years….

Seven years ago, when Eunbi told her that she had met a spontaneous cute girl who gives her stomachache for laughing too much, Chaewon thought (or, hoped rather) they wouldn't last that long. Heck, just what's so funny about oranges? Who uses oranges as a basis for pickup lines??? Apparently, that random cute girl does, and as surprising as it sounds….it worked. It has worked so well that Chaewon stands here – all hope is lost, thousands of what-if scenarios running through her mind.

If she has done things differently, if she had confessed earlier, if she had been just a tad bit more valiant…would they have worked out?

Or, if she further thinks back, if she hadn't asked Eunbi to buy her a tub of Mint Choco ice cream on that grim, cursed, awful, dreadful day – Chaewon’s being dramatic, but she's heartbroken, just let her be – maybe the older girl wouldn't have met said spontaneous cute girl on her way back from the convenience store.

Spoiler Alert: It doesn't matter.

They have met and have fallen for each other – nothing out of the ordinary, just normal teenagers enjoying their youthful years. Meanwhile, Chaewon stood in the sidelines – supportively watching their love story unfold – just like what a good best friend is supposed to do.

She has told herself countless times that she’s over her little crush that has started when she was fifteen, she’s already twenty-two now, and is on her final year of univ – it’s about time for her to stop yearning over someone who has clearly drawn the line between platonic and something more. Obviously, Chaewon belongs to the former, it has always been platonic, and deep inside, she knows it would always be.

Eunbi has made sure to make that clear on that one day Chaewon decided to be brave – a last resort, hoping that saying it out loud would finally make her snap out of whatever foolish mess is this. She confessed her heart out, only to have it returned there and then, with a kind note, “We’d still be bestfriends. You’re like a real sister to me, nothing will change. You’ll get over this.”

Truth be told, she expected Eunbi to just completely avoid her. Chaewon would have preferred that, but the older girl knows better than losing her friend over temporary feelings that would pass over some time.

That was a year ago. Yet, Chaewon is still here.

A wistful feeling sinking in her chest as she silently watches the older girl playfully bickers with her girlfriend – Lee Sian – who happens to be helping out today at the coffee shop. Or, maybe she’s just here for the older girl the same way Chaewon is here? Except…Sian is the girl whom Eunbi loves the way Chaewon could only ever dream of.

Kim Chaewon admits they are cute together, and she’s very much happy for them – but that doesn’t mean that at the back of her mind, she has never compared herself to Sian. Sometimes, she honestly does; and before her mind could list 101 reasons as to why Kwon Eunbi would never love her, she feels a familiar presence beside her. Said person makes her not-so-subtle presence known by lightly poking Chaewon’s cheek with her finger, “Unnie, you’re staring at them.”

Like a deer caught in headlights, Chaewon redirects her gaze to the girl; blinking back at her, words seemingly stuck on . The girl standing next to her simply smiles as she patiently waits for Chaewon to continue, as if she has already expected the lack of response. (She does, she knows Chaewon way too well.)

Chaewon clears and finally speaks, “Minmin?” It comes out more as a question than a greeting, thus making Minjoo let out a soft chuckle.

“Unnie, did you run again? Ms. Always on Time is having a bad day?” Minjoo chirps up, voice tinged with a hint of playfulness as she carefully fixes Chaewon's disheveled hair – newly trimmed wispy bangs that have turned messy – the younger girl finds it adorable nonetheless.

“Ms. Always on Time just didn't want to keep a certain child waiting,” Chaewon chimes back, a placid smile plastered across her lips as she not-so-subtly nudges Minjoo's shoulder, making sure to emphasize the term ‘child.’

The younger girl doesn't back off, if there's one thing Minjoo is confident about, it's her ability to remain hopeful. Her personality might appear timid on the eyes of others, but her hopeful self would never let Chaewon treat her as a mere child. This would be considered nothing compared to the months of withstanding cold and direct rejections from the older girl, every time Minjoo would voice out her clear intention of wanting them to be something more than just “a couple of Economics Major students who happen to get along well.”

“May I remind you that you’re barely a year older than me…” Minjoo trails off, and before Chaewon could protest, she brings up another one of her reserved bullets for today, “And you still owe me for making me worry this morning. I was so worried….” Minjoo pulls off a convincing sad expression – the inner corner of her eyebrows angling upward, her cheeks raised, her lips forming a subtle pout – and she knows she has won when the older girl avoids her gaze, looking at everywhere but her.

“Not my fault I got paired up with some stupid dude,” Chaewon raises her hands in front of her chest, trying to explain once again even though she knows the younger girl is probably just messing with her. For someone as kind as Kim Minjoo, she surely knows how to be playful at times. Nonetheless, Chaewon continues, “causing me to suddenly pull an all-nighter. I should kill him.” She says the last part of her statement in a serious tone, making Minjoo shake her head, disapproval written all over her face.

“Chaewonnie, that’s a mean thing to say…” Minjoo is frowning again, and the older girl couldn’t help but feel like she has said something wrong even though she’s just half-heartedly joking. Okay, maybe she really wants to kill that shameless guy, but it’s not like she’d actually do it. (Also, just MAYBE!)

“Uhm…I’ll go order for us!” Chaewon yelps a bit louder than intended, a sudden attempt at changing the topic at hand. Minjoo just nods, biting back a smile as she briefly watches the older girl hurriedly walking towards the counter.

As Chaewon waits for her turn, she finds herself stealing glances at Minjoo who’s sitting at their usual spot. The younger girl just listlessly staring outside through the café’s massive windows – probably counting the cars passing by or whatever random stuffs Minjoo tends to think of when she’s zoning out – a habit of hers that Chaewon has noticed after spending quite a lot of time with her. Seeing the younger girl’s side profile from a distance reminds Chaewon of a fact that she has always been aware of, yet doesn’t pay much attention to – she’s beautiful. Very beautiful.

She’s just quietly sitting on a chair, and Chaewon thinks someone could pull out a camera and it would instantly turn into some sort of photoshoot. Kim Minjoo is really attractive, that much is obvious. Seeing the younger girl amidst other people on the café brings back a not-so-distant memory – the pleasant smell of coffee filling the atmosphere, the relaxing piano melodies playing from the speakers, not too loud, just enough to set the ambiance; and the soft chit-chatters from other tables – everything reminds her of that one boring afternoon wherein she had mistaken the oh-so-pretty Kim Minjoo as someone working on the café.

It has been a week.

Chaewon has mustered all the courage in her, channeling the years of pent-up frustration for being unable to tell her feelings to the person she has spent most of her life with. She wasn’t expecting anything, she knew Eunbi would reject her, but she somehow thought (hoped – quite desperately, actually) that after confessing her heart out, she would feel better, she could finally put everything behind her – gone are the naïve hopeful days where she was so sure that one day, they’d eventually end up growing old and grey together. So, so, so sure that she would be the one she’d be spending the rest of her life with. It would be nothing short of amazing, a story befitting a book – beating all the other childhood friends to lovers trope out there – yeah, that’s ridiculous and it would never happen.

Despite everything, what Chaewon wants is peace, she just ultimately wants to put an end on this foolish unrequited love she’s been harboring for years. She was desperate, truly. All she has ever wanted is to finally move on.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t happen.

Chaewon likes sticking to plans and schedules, but here she is now, definitely straying away from her daily routine. See, having existential crisis at the middle of the café owned by the person that just rejected her a week ago isn’t part of her schedule, but she’s dumb – just…dumb.

Dumb Chaewon flinches when a stranger appears in front of her, thus making her halfwittedly blurt out the first thing that comes to her mind, “Yeah, I’ll probably die alone.”

Taken aback, the stranger doesn’t answer – opting out to just staring back at Chaewon – probably confused, wondering whether the girl is alright. She awkwardly answers, “Uhm…I said, are you alone? I mean, is it okay if I sit here?” The girl asks, gesturing to the seat across Chaewon.

Instead of redeeming herself from the morbid statement she just announced unprovoked, dumb Chaewon even had the audacity to make things worse by talking about her order out of nowhere, “Yeah, I’ve ordered another cup of hot chocolate, thank you.”

She’d blame her luck, but nah, she’s just too busy thinking about the girl behind the counter to realize that the stranger across her table is – (1) not a café employee, (2) just asking whether she could share a table with her because the café is currently crowded, (3) and is looking weirdly at her for some reason. The reason comes from the fact that dumb Chaewon has grabbed the stranger’s cup, just assuming that it’s her order. Before the other girl could even utter any word, Chaewon takes a sip – immediately coughing, almost spilling the rest of the coffee – horrified and genuinely confused, she exclaims, “It’s bitter…they’ve changed the mix for hot choco??”

"Oh, no no no. That's an americano. Too bitter?" The stranger worriedly asks – wiping the droplets of coffee on their table with some tissues – she also gives some to Chaewon, which she accepts meekly, mumbling a small thank you. (Of course, even on times like this Chaewon doesn't forget her manners.)

Still in a daze, Chaewon simply nods, once again scowling upon the bitter aftertaste of the coffee. The stranger let out a soft chuckle – standing up, leaving their table, seemingly searching for something – Chaewon wonders if she has said something funny. While observing the other girl walk towards the counter, realization slowly sinks in, she……just shamelessly drunk someone else's coffee. As if that wasn’t already embarrassing enough, she even complained about its taste.

Conclusion: Kim Chaewon isn't just dumb, she must have gone nuts – she's beyond saving. Is this what l*ve does to people?

The stranger – a girl slightly taller than Chaewon, soft and lush black hair tied up in a high ponytail, white shirt neatly tucked into blue jeans, and a gentle smile engrained on her face – goes back to their table, a wooden tray in hand. She cautiously put down a cup of hot chocolate and a slice of cake in front of Chaewon, “Here, unnie.”

“Thanks? Wait, I mean, I’m sorry. I was distracted, so…” Chaewon awkwardly explains – fumbling with her fingers – her cheeks flare up, and the tips of her ears burning as the embarrassment kicks in.

"Chaewon unnie, it's fine! Don't worry about it!" The stranger reassures, her smile widens to a toothy grin, an indian dimple accenting her left cheek.

Oh, she's cute-

Before uttering something silly again, Chaewon clears , finally regaining composure. This cute stranger just addressed her by name, so she tries to rack her brain as much as she could - she has always been bad at remembering names, but she's sure she isn't familiar with the girl.

Said cute girl seems to be someone who'd leave an impression upon first meeting, so it doesn't make much sense for Chaewon to not remember her. Yeah, forget the fact that Chaewon is too busy being dramatic over liking someone who'd never look her way-

Anyway, Chaewon definitely doesn't know the kind stranger who just offered her food. (Yep, she automatically considers someone kind if they give her food, of course.) Snapping out of her trance, she asks, "Sorry…but do we know each other?"

"Ah, no, not really," The girl stammers - eyes quickly avoiding Chaewon's gaze, timidly scratching the back of her neck - suddenly feeling shy that the older girl doesn't seem to remember her at all. She expectantly adds, "But I'm close with Yena unnie…we greeted each other a few times on campus?"

The girl's hopeful look doesn't pass by Chaewon, and she doesn't have the heart to admit that she actually don't remember doing such thing - heck, she didn't even know the girl attends the same university, let alone seeing her around campus or what. She doesn't have any clue about the stranger, but Chaewon tries to play it off as politely as she could. "Oh, right. Yeah, Yena's friend….what's your name again?"

"Kim Minjoo. I'm Minjoo, I'm also an Economics Major," Minjoo cheerfully beams, happy that she finally gets the chance to formally introduce herself to the older girl.

"Right, Minjoo!!!" Chaewon not-so-convincingly pretends to suddenly remember the name of the girl. Of course, she still doesn't - not even a bit - but no one needs to know that. "Oh, I'm really sorry for earlier. I'll pay you back for the drinks and cake," Chaewon offers, already rummaging her bag for her wallet.

"Unnie, it's fine," Minjoo repeatedly shakes her head, but Chaewon has never been one to accept favors - especially from strangers, regardless whether said stranger comes in the form of a cute junior who happens to be friends with Yena.

She insists on paying, but the younger girl is just as stubborn, quite determined on treating her senior. Chaewon thinks Minjoo is just trying to be polite, so she tries to use a different approach. "Minjoo-ssi, the first principle of Economics says 'people face tradeoffs.' Nothing is free!"

Oops, Chaewon didn't expect that to come off too strong.

She swears it sounds way better inside her head, yeah, she should probably stop talking. She waits for the other girl's reaction, expecting a confused and borderline weirded-out expression. Just what kind of crazy nerd blurts out Principles of Economics when someone is just trying to be polite to their senior?????

Chaewon prepares herself for whatever outcome may happen - maybe Minjoo would walk out of the café and stay away from her for the rest of the semester, or maybe Minjoo would just give her a weird look and be kind enough to never mention today's happenings to anyone - the latter sounds like something the kind girl is more likely to do, but who knows….

Anyway, out of all the possibilities she could think of, she certainly didn't expect the girl to laugh. Moreover, Minjoo even comes up with an equally nerdy response, "Unnie, trade can make everyone better off. Accept my treat today, then it's on you next time? Fifth principle!"

The tip of quirks, Chaewon finds herself unconsciously smiling at the younger girl’s explanation. She’s well-aware that it basically means they’d just be paying for each other’s meal, it’s ridiculous but she decides to play along Minjoo’s antics. She even cracks another light-hearted joke, “Kim Minjoo-ssi, who said there’s next time? Are you asking me out using an Economics Principle?”

“Yep. Is that not okay?” Minjoo’s smile doesn’t falter, giving an immediate answer – short and simple – a very straightforward attempt. Her response comes out unexpected, but her expression suggests that she means every word. Chaewon admits, this girl is quite charming – could be a bit nerdy, but fascinating nonetheless.

Although the older girl is genuinely amused, she thinks she’s not in any position to be entertaining anyone – not now, not any time soon, and definitely not this girl she’s starting to grow fondly of even though they just met each other today. And just like Minjoo, Chaewon keeps it short and simple, “Nothing wrong with it, but I don’t want to.”

At that exact moment, Chaewon doesn’t know what occurs to her, but she uncharacteristically felt like being honest to this random stranger whose name she just found out twelve minutes ago. The words just freely fall out of , spilling something she hasn’t even told her closest univ friend – Yena – nor anyone, really. “There’s someone I like,” she truthfully admits.

As if it’s the most natural thing on earth, Chaewon’s gaze unconsciously fleets towards the girl behind the café’s counter – the cause of her heartbreak, the oh-so-shining girl that has always been within her line of sight, yet would never be close enough to consider as her other half. The stars are magnificent, enticing, graceful, dazzling – countless flickering lights that are actually millions of light-years away from the planet Chaewon lives in – stars aren’t meant to be reached, are they?

While the older girl seems to forget that there’s still someone sitting in front of her – Minjoo quietly follows her gaze, and speaks, “I know.”

That was a year ago – after that encounter, they’ve started talking more with each other. Sometimes they’d even eat lunch together at the campus cafeteria with their common friend Yena, who never misses the chance to annoy them, accusingly screaming, “You two are being suspicious! Something’s going on! I just know it!!!!”

After a couple more exchanges of polite greetings, countless sessions at the café, daily playful friendly bickering, and a hell lot of nerdy Economics jokes – mostly courtesy of the oh-so-fascinating Kim Minjoo – a strong bond between them inevitably forms. Minjoo would passionately insist that all credits go to the oh-so-great and oh-so-powerful Economics Principles, Chaewon would say that’s ridiculous, but would just end up nodding and laughing along anyway. Then Yena – the sole witness of this painfully slow and frustrating love (?) story – would probably yell across the street, with a giant banner boldly printed in all caps, Arial Black, font size 600, saying, “JUST DATE ALREADY!!!!”

“You’re staring,” Minjoo pipes up, cutting Chaewon’s train of thought. The older girl didn’t even realize that she has already finished her cup of hot chocolate – too engrossed with the person seated across the table. Before anyone assumes anything, no, she’s not admiring Minjoo’s beauty or what. She’s just….trying to figure out some stuffs.

Of course, she knows that the girl is pretty, saying that would even be considered an understatement – a literal goddess, really. Prior to their meeting a year ago, Chaewon wasn’t even aware of the girl’s existence, but after that, she has come to learn that she’s basically their campus sweetheart. Heck, she doesn’t even know that people still use that cringey term.

Everyone seems to know her – except Chaewon, Yena says she really needs to start paying attention to her surroundings – most of her batchmates wouldn’t shut up about that lovely junior who got the looks of an angel, and a personality that’s just as admirable. So, she’s really confused – it has been a year, yet this girl wouldn’t leave her alone despite the long list of people who would be willing to date her without any fuss. Really, who wouldn’t? (Again, except Chaewon.)

“You’re pretty,” Chaewon mindlessly blurts out, still clueless as to why this gorgeous human being is still so, so persistent even though she has already rejected her a LOT of times; and still looks at Chaewon, the same way a curator lovingly looks at a masterpiece. She’s neither a painting nor a historical artifact, she’s just boring Economics Major Kim Chaewon who finds peace on the uneventfulness of her everyday life – she could be grumpy at times due to minimal disturbances to her schedule, but nothing too drastic.

Minjoo would normally be flustered with a sudden compliment – especially if it’s from Chaewon, aka the person she likes – but the older girl seems to be in some sort of phase lately, she keeps on blurting out random stuffs. Complimenting the younger girl being one of those stuffs, she probably says it daily, and she appears to be genuinely confused every single time.

“You should just date me then,” Minjoo just casually suggests, just like how she did yesterday while they were waiting for Yena at the cafeteria.

“Nope,” Chaewon responds just as casually, her expression doesn’t even change at all – just blankly staring back, too used with Minjoo’s antic – she simply continues playing with her empty cup.

How many times has Minjoo told her this? She doesn’t remember – sometimes she would answer, but most of the time she would just shrug it off. How many times has she rejected Minjoo? Don’t ask her, it comes randomly, it’s not part of her schedule so Chaewon had stopped counting after the fourth time.

As if she hasn’t already expected this answer, Minjoo frowns, “But why?”

Yep, this is definitely the same Kim Minjoo – her junior who has been consistently hanging out with her for almost a year now. The younger girl would fondly call these said 'hangouts' dates – Chaewon would disagree, but at this point, she had enough of trying to explain to the younger girl that it's just not going to happen. Just nope.

Chaewon sighs, preparing herself for yet another conversation they always have every time the younger girl would bring up this dating ordeal. Her answer is always the same, but today her voice just sounds a little bit sadder than usual – maybe because the rain is starting to pour outside. Quite befitting, right? She trails off, “Min, I told you,,,”

“You’re in love with your best friend, I know,” Minjoo finishes the sentence for her. She isn’t looking at Chaewon – instead, she’s intently staring at her own cup, a soft smile painted across her lips.

“You’re in love with the girl who makes good coffee, I get it,” Minjoo mentally tells herself. Sometimes, she wonders if Chaewon would fall for her if she learns how to make coffee. Heck, she’d instantly enroll in a barista training course if that’s what it would take. Chaewon doesn’t even drink coffee though, so she quickly discards the thought.

“Min…sorry,” Chaewon apologizes, like she always does. The younger girl has always told her that it’s unnecessary, but she still feels the need to do it. Like, it’s the least she could offer to the girl who continues to offer her heart even though Chaewon has already told her that she wants no part of it over and over again – quite coldly, even.

“Unnie, I’m here. You know I’ll always be here for you, right?” Cold rejections don’t just work with Kim Minjoo – nothing seems to work, actually. “Always.”

Why would anyone keep on waiting for something that is most likely to never happen? Minjoo says it with a peaceful expression, any hint of bitterness is nowhere to be found – if anything, Chaewon’s the one feeling bitter here, she finds it rather foolish. Very, very stupid. It’s not like she has any right to judge though, not when stupid Kim Chaewon is doing the same thing – yearning for someone who’d never look at her past the imaginary line dictating what’s platonic and not. Worse, her someone is actually happily dating someone else. It wouldn’t even be surprising if they announce their wedding one of these days. If that happens, what would she do? Well, she’d probably just nod and laugh. (Then cry at home, as soon as she closes the door.)

“You’re insane,” Chaewon deadpans.

Unable to fully stop the laughter bubbling up her chest, Minjoo giggles, “I just like you. What’s so crazy about that?”

Chaewon sighs, “You’re unbelievable.”

“Nope. You just choose not to believe me,” Minjoo quips, glancing at the massive window of the café – the drizzle causing little droplets of rain to scatter – it reminds her of that particular rainy evening.

“Here, take it,” a girl – slightly shorter than her, donning a dark grey hoodie, grown out bangs framing her small face, almost covering her sharp eyes that would probably look intimidating if not for the kind smile plastered across her lips – offers Minjoo a black umbrella. She vaguely recognizes the girl as one of her seniors; she recalls always seeing her walking around the campus with her friend Yena.

Minjoo steps closer to the girl, unsure whether she has heard her properly – she thought the sound of the pouring rain made her misunderstand her senior, because (1) she’s giving away her umbrella, (2) which is a very kind thing to do, but (3) they don’t even know each other and (4), “Unnie, what about you then…”

“Oh, don’t mind me. Here,” the girl hands over the umbrella to Minjoo before the younger girl could even protest.

“Ahh, it’s fine. I live nearby,” Minjoo tries to explain, insisting on giving it back. She appreciates the thought, but she wouldn’t want her senior to get sick because of her. Also, she lives a few blocks away, she could just run once the rain subsides a bit. (Although it doesn’t seem to be subsiding any time soon.)

“You don’t take the bus? More reason for you to take it then,” the girl reasons out. Seeing that Minjoo doesn’t look too convinced with her argument, she makes sure to add, “I’m on a hoodie, you’re wearing thin clothes. You might get sick. And I’m just waiting for my friend, she has an umbrella.”

“Don’t worry about me,” she says, her lips curving into a friendly smile again. Despite being cold due to the blowing wind and the pouring rain, Minjoo feels a warm fuzzy feeling rising within her – maybe it’s the fact that the girl is being nice, or there’s just really something on the way she smiles.

“Thank you, unnie. Take care on your way back too!” They part ways after a couple more polite exchanges – Minjoo probably getting too caught up with the girl’s oh-so-warm smiles, she totally forgot to ask for her name.

Several days later, she finds out her name – Kim Chaewon.

She would sometimes greet Chaewon around the campus – only when the girl is with Yena, because Minjoo is too much of a coward – she couldn’t really quite find the courage to thank her nor to give back the umbrella. She’s just….really shy. (And maybe she’s having a little crush over said senior, so she gets twice as shy.)

Until that day.

She sees the older girl sitting alone in a coffee shop, mind seems to be wandering elsewhere – flying across the café, landing on the two lovebirds playfully bickering behind the counter. Following the girl’s line of sight – something inside her just clicks – Minjoo immediately understands what’s going on.

She knows it has a different context, but she’s suddenly reminded of Chaewon’s words on that night she offers Minjoo an umbrella – the same umbrella the younger girl brings with her every single day, just in case she magically finds the courage to return it. She’s still too much of a coward for that, but Chaewon’s words keep on knocking.

“Don’t worry about me,” Chaewon said.

Here goes nothing, Kim Minjoo finally decides to approach the girl. She knows she’s probably signing up for something complicated, a brewing headache and an impending heartbreak – she should run away now while she still could, but curse that freakin’ smile, Minjoo can’t help but worry about her.

God, hopefully it ends well.

Heavens seems to be really trippin’ today, Chaewon blames it on her terrible luck.

What started as a drizzle just an hour ago turns into a heavy rainfall, she was in such a rush this morning, she didn’t even think of bringing an umbrella. Yep, she’s stupid. She could blame it on the lack of sleep, but nah, she’s just too unlucky. In Chaewon’s uneventful life, she truly believes that everything that could possibly go wrong, would go wrong – it’s inevitable, inescapable – her demise is certain, fated. This is exactly why she not-so-low-key has an obsession over keeping things on plan.

TLDR: A torrential downpour isn’t on today’s schedule!!!!

Technically, they could wait it out until the rain subsides; but that means….Chaewon would have to adjust her schedule again. She’s supposed to be home in fifteen minutes – yeah, it’s not like it’s a must, but she’s so exhausted with all the running she had to do the whole day...she just desperately wants to take a long nap.

“We should probably wait for it to stop,” Chaewon sighs, pertaining to the heavy bouts of rain.

Under normal circumstances, Minjoo would have been happy to spend a little more time with the older girl; but she sees how tired Chaewon looks like – yawning, eyes almost closing, probably feeling a bit drowsy due to lack of sleep – and Minjoo suddenly doesn’t feel like using the rain to her advantage. The news this morning didn’t say anything about a heavy rain, so she didn’t bring an umbrella either….wait, maybe she did.

Minjoo rummages her things, not-that-surprised to find what she was searching for – of course, she never takes it off her bag – but reluctant whether she should bring it out, because doing so would require her to do some explaining. When Chaewon nods off on her seat for a few seconds, almost knocking down her empty cup, Minjoo abruptly stands up – forgetting whatever silly worries she has about explaining why she got the older girl’s umbrella.

Chaewon gives her a questioning look, “Please tell me you’re not planning to run through the rain? Because I won’t.”

“Yeah, I know. Here,” Minjoo hands over the black umbrella to the other girl, avoiding Chaewon’s probing eyes. “I’m returning this to you,” she finally fesses up.

The older girl squints her eyes, trying her best to remember when she had lent the umbrella to Minjoo. She isn’t sure if her memory is just really bad, or it’s the lack of sleep affecting her; but she opts out to just ask directly, “This is mine?”

Hearing Chaewon’s question, Minjoo couldn’t help but chuckle, “Unnie, you really don’t remember?”

Just like when they first met in this coffee shop almost a year ago, Chaewon tries to rack her brain of any possible answer – she comes up with nothing. She hums, “mhhm?”

Minjoo doesn’t give her an answer, changing the topic instead, “It’s getting late, we should go.”

Chaewon trails behind the other girl as they exit the café, completely lost in her thoughts as Minjoo bids her goodbye – still trying to piece things together – no, she’s not doing a good job at that. The younger girl expects her to start heading off, but she simply stood there – as if waiting for Minjoo to say something.

Minjoo asks, “Shouldn’t you go now?”

The question takes Chaewon out of her reverie – mind functioning rather well again – she queries, “You live nearby, right?”

Minjoo nods, a slow smile works its way across her face as she gets reminded of their first encounter, she could already tell what Chaewon would say next. Of course, the girl would offer her umbrella again, using the same logic she has mentioned before. (Or, so she thought.) The older girl’s next words rather come off as a surprise, “Let’s go, I’ll walk you home.”

Here’s the thing though, Chaewon doesn’t like the rain.

Not. At. All.

In fact, she honestly doesn’t understand how could anyone even like rainy days? Just….how?

It’s one of Chaewon’s biggest foes when it comes to staying true to her boring schedule, the rain…it just gives her a hell lot of reasons not to leave the comfort of her house. Rainy season for her is comprised of bunch of blurry days she’d rather not deal with – her bangs get fuzzy, the café becomes overcrowded due to people seeking for shelter, walking becomes a hassle when puddles of water ruin her newly-washed white sneakers – and oh, don’t forget about the cars as well. They are the worst, truly.

Every time, Chaewon remembers being so, so, so cautious of her surroundings in order to not get wet – she even got an umbrella in tow – but then, some random car quickly passes by, splashing water all over her. Then there she stands beside the road, completely drenched, cursing all the stars, planets, satellites, comets, spaceships, airplanes, maybe even birds – just everything – out there for having such a terrible luck. (This has happened to her far too many times, yeah, she hates the rain.) Not to mention, the horrible traffic congestion, making it impossible for her to stick with her almighty repetitive schedule on nights wherein the clouds decide to be angsty pricks – crying, crying, and crying as if they were also pining over someone they'd never have. Chaewon would likely shout, "Get over it!" (If that's considered a crime though, she'd be locked up in prison for sure.)

Of course, not that she hasn't been in one. Believe her, she knows how it feels to be chained up with unsettled lingering feelings – been there, still there, and would probably be there for more years to come. Yep, Kim Chaewon is hopeless. Oh, maybe she should learn from Minjoo’s nerdy tendencies and start compiling l*ve principles.

1.   L*ve turns you into a simpleminded fool.

Anyway, rain is tiring. A lot of people would probably insist that it’s romantic, majority of the greatest romance movies of all time include a very remarkable and very cliché raining scene. Chaewon has never quite understood that, what’s so good about standing under a heavy rain? Even history puts so much significance on it, she has read enough material talking about how ancient people would perform weather rituals to regulate rainfall.

As an Economics Major, she’s fully aware of its importance – having either inadequate or excessive rainfall would lead to crop losses, revenue loss, erratic changes on supply and demand – practical things unrelated to those cringey fictional love stories. Regardless, she still hates it for making everything cold, muddy, dirty and at least four times more gloomy than usual.

For someone who claims to dislike the rain so much, Chaewon seems to not have much of a problem walking under a pouring rain, an umbrella in tow – one that is obviously not big enough to cover both of them. She doesn’t fancy getting drenched by the rain nor having to hold the umbrella when Minjoo is a bit taller than her, but she does it anyway and she somehow finds herself unconsciously leaning the umbrella just a little bit closer to the younger girl’s side. Just a little bit, she says.

By the time they reached Minjoo’s apartment complex, Chaewon is completely drenched and is starting to shiver – she’d probably end up getting sick, but that’s okay. (No, it’s not okay, but she would just consider it as another minor disturbance.) She subtly wipes the droplets of rain running down her face, acting as if she doesn’t desperately wish to magically teleport back to her own home. Just the thought of having to go through the hassle of taking the bus or hailing down a cab on such a rainy night is already giving her a headache, but she smiles anyway as she bids the younger girl goodbye.

Said younger girl isn’t blind though, Minjoo feels bad for letting the now-drenched girl walk her back home. She wouldn’t want Chaewon to be catching a cold, so just like what any decent friend would do, she offers, “Unnie, stay for the night.”

Taken aback, Chaewon stands frozen in place – just blinking, wondering if she has heard her properly. The lack of response makes Minjoo feel the need to explain herself – cheeks visibly flushed, panic starting to wash over her – she starts to rumble, “Wait no no, I swear I’m not being a creep. I mean, I can sleep on the sofa. It’s totally cool, yea, I can lend you clothes, I just don’t want you to head back drenched and get sick and I don’t know. It’s also more efficient, we should always go for efficiency!!!! And I know you already had a rough day so…”

Chaewon cuts her off, “I didn’t say anything.”

“Sorry, I didn’t intend to make you feel uncomfortable,” Minjoo quips. She was just offering out of good will, but she understands if the older girl finds it weird.

“Okay,” Chaewon simply answers, adding, “Min, you’ve never made me uncomfortable.”

Staying over at Minjoo’s place isn’t part of her plans, but nothing has been going her way today anyway. Yeah, she could improvise! The third Principle of Economics says rational people think at the margin, marginal changes – small, incremental adjustments – to an existing plan of action are bound to happen. No big deal, just another minor disturbance.

--

Except, said minor disturbance doesn’t seem to be that ‘unwanted.’

Not when they sit at the sofa after they’ve cleaned up and changed their clothes, deciding to watch a random movie which turns out to be as boring as Chaewon’s meticulously-planned life. Minjoo moves closer, leaning her head on the older girl’s shoulder, and oddly enough, Chaewon doesn’t find it awkward – it’s comfortable, very warm. It’s comparable to the feeling she gets whenever she’d take her much-needed sleep on a lazy Sunday afternoon, Chaewon likes Sundays; and maybe she could get used to this kind of warmth Minjoo gives her.

She has walked Minjoo home several times – on nights she’d insist on accompanying the girl for safety reasons, then just taking a cab on her own afterwards – but it’s the first time she’s spending the night. Now that she thinks about it, she could have politely rejected the offer and just took a cab as usual; but here she is, sitting at Minjoo’s couch as a dull movie plays on the screen.

As the film continues playing in the background, Chaewon has come to a lot of realization. First, being this close to Minjoo reminds her once again how awfully beautiful the girl is even with her sleepy bare face – looking so soft in her oversized purple sweater, hair slightly messy, long lashes fluttering as she fights back the urge to just sleep – Chaewon decides she prefers her this way.

Minjoo has always looked pretty, perfectly dolled up every time they’d have those friendly hangouts. (Okay, dates rather.) She’d always greet Chaewon with witty jokes and a bright smile – red lips stretching into a toothy grin, eyes crinkling into adorable crescent moons, her signature indian dimple accenting her left cheek – but Chaewon never looked at her that way. Or, maybe it’s just that she has never looked at anyone else, too busy looking at someone who’d never look her way.

And for the first time, Chaewon allows herself to look at her. Like, really, really look at her.

Oh, what do they call that again? Right, Opportunity Cost. They just talked about it in one of Chaewon’s classes today, it’s the term used to describe the loss or the benefit of not choosing something. When a person doesn’t select the one with the highest value, the one they’ve forgone, that’s the Opportunity Cost. Kim Minjoo, the person who had stuck with her for the past year – nerdy jokes and hot chocolate in tow, because she claims that the fourth Principle of Economics states that people respond to incentives, and just maybe she could buy off Chaewon’s love through food – sits beside her, face illuminated by the warm colors reflected from the movie they are watching.

Second, and perhaps the biggest realization her dumb self has come to terms with as she stares at the sleepy girl beside her – Chaewon doesn’t want Minjoo to be her Opportunity Cost.

She’s stupid, but not that stupid – she knows what’s happening. And even if she doesn’t, she could feel it in her chest. The insistent thumps that she used to blame on her tendency to drink an unhealthy amount of hot chocolate, she finally finds the reason for those. This wouldn’t be the first time she feels this way for someone, but it’s different though, very different.

For the longest time, Chaewon believed that falling in love is both an act of braveness and stupidity – brave enough to take all the risk, and stupid enough to go for it despite knowing that it will only inevitably end with heartbreak. “Love comes to those who wait,” they’d say, but Chaewon has been waiting for so long that she had to figure things the hard way. That’s how she has defined it, how she has experienced her first love, her first what could have been, her first heartbreak. It has made her so, so, so sure that if that’s how love works, then she’d want no part of it.

Chaewon has always lived her life according to plans, falling for Minjoo wasn’t part of it.

She finds it weird, but in a good way. Unlike today’s rain, it doesn’t start off as a drizzle. No warnings and foreboding beforehand, it comes as a sudden heavy rain – a torrential downpour flooding her, but no, she doesn’t feel like running away. No more running away, she had enough of that. Instead, she decides to enjoy where this would take her – discard the doubts she has harbored over the years, always second-guessing herself whether she’s good enough to actually ever be with someone.

“Third time’s a charm,” they’d say; but it has taken Minjoo about fifty-one times before Chaewon has come to terms with her own feelings. Yeah, she has said she wasn’t keeping count, but she apparently is. At the back of her mind, she has always been secretly wondering just how many more times would it take before the younger girl stops looking at her. It’s not easy to keep on looking at someone who only looks at someone else, Chaewon knows that first-hand.

Fifty-one times…Minjoo has asked her at least four times a month. She’s no math genius – and it honestly wouldn’t take one to know – but Chaewon’s pretty sure that would have taken a hell LOT of patience. So, she takes it upon herself to end the long chase, she owes her that much. No holds barred and completely unplanned, Chaewon voices her thoughts, not minding whether it turns out into the lamest and least romantic confession of all time. “Min, I don’t have any Economics pick up line prepared but I swear I’ll google later,”

Minjoo quickly faces the older girl, just confused and not-so-low-key worried with the girl’s sudden questionable rambling. She wonders if she’s sick, a fever maybe? Chaewon sees the other girl’s puzzled expression, making her unable to stop the embarrassment kicking in – her face flushing to a full, deep, red – she closes her eyes, and wills herself to continue, “…would you please be my girlfriend?”

Few seconds in, an answer doesn’t come so Chaewon nervously opens her eyes. What she sees though makes her anxiety level further spike through the ceiling, Minjoo…..is crying. She panics, “ahhh I’m sorry, I’m sorry, what do I do, Minmin are you okay????”

Instead of answering, Minjoo hurls herself into Chaewon’s arms – she doesn’t utter any word, just burying her face on the crook of the other girl’s neck. She isn’t sure how to properly react and it would probably sound dramatic, but Chaewon feels her heart plunging to the floor of Minjoo’s apartment. She has always thought of herself as someone who isn’t easily influenced by emotions, but seeing the girl cry makes her want to cry just as much. (And yeah, knowing that she’s the reason for it isn’t exactly helping.)

She doesn’t know what to do, but she lightly squeezes the girl in her arm, hoping that it would give her even the tiniest of comfort. Chaewon pats her back, she’s never been good at comforting people, but she tries, “If you cry too much, I’ll cry too then we will both look puffy tomorrow.”

She didn’t intend for it to come off as silly, but it makes Minjoo lightly chuckle amidst crying, so Chaewon thinks it’s worth it. Amidst sobs, Minjoo mumbles, “Chaewonnie, thank you for always making me happy.”

Dumbfounded, Chaewon clarifies, “uhmm…is that a yes or?”

Minjoo raises her head – nose still red from all the crying – the tips of quirks, unable to contain the happiness surging within her. As straightforward as always, she answers, “Always. We both know there’s no one I’d rather be with.”

They spend the rest of the night cuddling, small smiles on their faces as they fondly exchange ideas of what they should do tomorrow. The movie playing in the background has been long forgotten, the girls being too engrossed discussing whether they should go on a date tomorrow – Chaewon says they always go to one anyway, and Minjoo laughs, “Oooh, so you do admit now that they are dates?”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, ma’am,” Chaewon surrenders, no point in denying further after all.

Not when she looks at the other girl and all she could think of is how incredibly lucky she is; not when she wakes up the next morning to the sight of a sleeping Minjoo beside her, looking so soft under the thick blanket, Chaewon concludes she should add this to her list of favorite things on Tuesdays. No, she doesn’t particularly like Tuesdays (or any day, actually) but maybe she now looks forward to waking up next to Minjoo for the future days to come.

That too. Kim Chaewon speaks of love now in a lot of maybes.

Maybe it’s the reason why she has never actually refused the other girl’s presence despite rejecting her confession a lot of times – fifty-one times, just to be exact. Maybe it’s also the one responsible for making Chaewon insist on walking the girl home every time her night classes would end up a bit too late, forget the fact that their schedule isn’t even remotely similar, thus making Chaewon wait for over an hour. Heck, maybe it’s also the reason why Yena’s teasing doesn’t sound as annoying anymore. Maybe she should thank her friend, just maybe.

Maybe it’s on the way Minjoo’s eyes flutter open, and Chaewon deeply feels a part of her heart opening up for the person who has been there for her for the past year – making her laugh through nerdy jokes she’d always complain about, but she secretly looks forward to. Minjoo stares at her for what felt like a whole minute, just blinking until she moves closer – placing a soft kiss on Chaewon’s lips, fingertips lightly grazing her cheeks.

Minjoo’s eyes widen, letting out an incoherent string of words as she rolls – falling off the bed, a loud thud echoing through the silence of the morning. Completely flustered – cheeks flaring up with a tinge of pink all the way to the tips of her ears – she exclaims in panic, “It’s not a dream?????”

Or, maybe love for Chaewon comes in the form of the girl who tumbled down the bed fifteen minutes ago, utterly shocked that Chaewon is here and is very much real. And nope, she isn’t running away either. Instead, she simply gives Minjoo an amused smile, then asks her whether they should head over the convenience store downstairs for breakfast.

Even when Chaewon goes back to her own place, a smile still lingers on her face – still not over with the loads of realization she suddenly had, it’s like waking up with an epiphany. (Except, she knows she’d be lying if she said she hasn’t seen this coming.) The idea of being with Minjoo used to sound so foreign, until it doesn’t, until the things that she claims to be crazy doesn’t sound as crazy anymore.

No plans, schedules, or whatsoever. Chaewon has never felt this safe and sure about a lot of maybes.

To Minmin, 19 June 2023, 9:30AM: min, maybe I love you :(

From Minmin, 19 June 2023, 9:31AM: I love you too, always (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

To Minmin, 19 June 2023, 9:31AM: okay, maybe it’s not maybe

From Minmin, 19 June 2023, 9:32AM: I know :)

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Eunbi clears , effectively getting Chaewon's attention who's been smiling on her own – eyes glued to her phone’s screen that she didn't even notice when the older girl sat across the table – probably reading text messages from a certain someone. Of course, it wouldn't take a genius to know who's that someone; and Eunbi has always been good at figuring out her friend, so Chaewon's next words didn't exactly surprise her. And truth be told, she wasn't being subtle about it either. (Almost daily coffee dates….really, Chaewon???) Yeah, Chaewon's just a tad bit too slow (and oblivious) when it comes to dealing with her own feelings.

"I recently started dating Minjoo," Chaewon trails off. The words roll off so naturally, like it's something that she has always been supposed to say. And when she admits that she's in love with Minjoo, it doesn't come off like some sort of dramatic revelation, it slips out of so casually – like it's something that's been overdue for a while now. (Well, it is.)

Also, saying it out loud doesn't hurt her – doesn’t fill her head with countless doubts whether she’s doing the right thing, doesn’t make her feel like overstepping a line she’s not meant to cross, doesn’t give her the need to swallow the burning sensation on as she repeatedly tries to convince herself with a silly mantra, “I’ll get over it.”

Falling for Kim Minjoo doesn't hurt.

She has always thought (assumed, rather) falling in love means breaking her heart in the process, eventually making her curse the whole thing; no one told her that it doesn’t have to be that complicated. Now, she’s learning one day at a time – Chaewon comprehends that maybe the beauty lies with the simplicity of it all. She finds it neatly tucked on the simple cute morning messages and the familiar scent of the places they frequently go to, finds it subtly strung between the laughter they’d exchange amidst silly (and nerdy) conversations, finds it in the form of the girl who is always, always there for her. The Principle of Economics wouldn’t be enough to explain her wonderful existence – she just is.

“I’m really happy for you,” Eunbi chimes with her signature shining smile that Chaewon has fallen for years ago. She looks proud, so proud that Chaewon has finally come to terms with her own feelings, and maybe this conversation is a little overdue. Okay, maybe not a little – seven years overdue.

“Unnie, thank you for always being a good friend,” Chaewon says, her mind wandering to all the fun memories they had over the years. Realization dawns over her that despite all the heartbreaks and years of useless pinning, they were still very good friends – they still are, and they both know it’s going to be that way until they are old and grey.

“You know I love you, right?” Eunbi says, and for the first time in so long, Chaewon doesn’t wish that it’s the same type of ‘I love you,’ Eunbi would say to her girlfriend.

Chaewon responds with a light-hearted joke, “I know. Let’s stop being sappy now, it’s giving me goosebumps!”

Despite her silly words, she knows that she’s finally over it. Chaewon is learning – and today, she has learned a new way of loving her oh-so-shining Kwon Eunbi. Not with a heavy heart, not with unresolved lingering feelings, and not filled with thoughts of what could have been. Twenty-two-year-old Chaewon has learned how to love her in ways fifteen-year-old Chaewon has probably never thought possible – as the best friend she has always been meant to be.

With a lopsided grin, Eunbi beams, “That means you’ll have a date for our wedding then?”

Oh, they are getting married.

She has spent most of her teenage years falling for the older girl sitting in front of her, and now said girl is about to get married. Contrary to what Chaewon thought, the news doesn’t make her want to go home and cry her eyes out. It makes her really, really happy. “Of course. We’ll make sure to take lots of pictures of your crying self then!”

Years ago, love came in the form of self-composed songs about a short girl with a short hair who wears her heart on her sleeve. This time, love comes in the form of two friends exchanging conversations over breakfast.

“You’ve always liked her,” Eunbi brings up as she finishes eating her breakfast, Chaewon gives her a questioning look, confused where the conversation is heading. Still having a bit of time before she officially opens her café for the day, Eunbi indulges the other girl with an explanation. She shrugs, “I mean, when you asked me to teach you how to brew coffee because you wanted to surprise Minjoo, I just knew it’s gone past friendly?”

“Or maybe I just wanted to learn how to make coffee,” Chaewon tries to defend herself.

“Oh please, you don’t even drink coffee. You’re like that, you give your best when you love someone,” Eunbi states, flaunting her knowledge of knowing the younger girl over a decade. “You’ve always liked her, you just never looked at her.”

The older girl’s words make Chaewon suddenly think and sort of maybe re-evaluate her past actions, she gets too engrossed with thinking that she didn’t hear Sian entering the café and asking her whether she wants an orange. Eunbi just shakes her head at Chaewon’s denseness, and asks for Sian to throw an orange her way. Sian has always been one to cause chaos, but she honestly didn’t intend what happens next. Not when she throws an orange for Eunbi, (just like how she has done 10748923 times before) but Chaewon suddenly stands up – enlightened by another realization that has suddenly hit her.

Yeah, the orange just happens to accidentally hit her head just as sudden.

“Oh oh oh, are you okay???!!!” Sian rushes to Chaewon, panic washing over her face, making her at least twice as pale when the girl doesn’t respond to her. Horrified, she quickly rummages her pockets for her phone – wanting to dial 911 because she wouldn’t want to be imprisoned for murdering her fiancé’s best friend with an orange – she couldn’t find it, she actually doesn’t remember where she has put it or maybe she’s just too anxious about the fact that Chaewon is still not speaking. Eunbi simply watches over the chaos, unlike her fiancé, she’s pretty sure a murder by orange doesn’t seem plausible – actually, she just finds the situation hilarious.

Chaewon simply stares at Sian for a whole minute, just blinking until the girl shakes her shoulders. Snapping out of her trance, Chaewon asks the first thing that comes into her mind, “What do I do now?”

Of course, oh-so-smart Lee Sian gives an oh-so-smart answer without knowing the context of the question or whatsoever. Well, she’s just glad Chaewon seems to be fine so she’s not going to jail for murder. How sad it would be for her if beloved oranges became the cause of her downfall, right? With a very serious expression, she proudly declares, “They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t like lemons. Here, have an orange instead.”

Eunbi has finally decided to stop laughing, dragging her fiancé away before the girl could further say more rubbish. Sure, she loves Sian but she’s just really a bit too innovative (or just outright crazy, to be honest) at times. And yeah, Eunbi loves her just the same. (Maybe Chaewon is actually right about love making people stupid.) Just in time, Minjoo arrives at the café, cheerfully greeting the older couple – of course, Sian hands her an orange too. She doesn’t get it either, but she just politely accepted it and thanked the older girl.

When Chaewon sees her girlfriend walking towards her, she feels a warmth feeling swelling within her chest as Minjoo takes a step. Forward – just like how everything would be for their relationship from now on. Love is so much more than just a person who holds her heart, it’s everything around her – the smell of burnt coffee, the peaceful piano instrumentals, the soft blowing of the wind outside, the massive windows of the café, the cars passing by, the principles of economics, the torrential downpour that came the night she realized her feelings – everything that reminds her of Kim Minjoo.

She still speaks of love in a lot of maybes.

Minjoo greets her with a quick peck on her lips, it doesn’t even last three seconds, but it makes Chaewon smile. It reminds her of how silly she must have been over the years, too ahead of herself, thinking that she knows everything about love out there. Apparently, being heartbroken once doesn’t make you an expert. No one is just an expert when it comes to this silly little thing every human searches for, that’s why she thinks she’s lucky.

Maybe this is the exact reason she has spent the last twenty-two years of her life being unlucky, she must have used up all her remaining luck for this to actually happen. Seven billion people on earth, yet she was lucky enough to come across a certain Kim Minjoo.

Chaewon could still remember when her fifteen-year-old self really thought she had everything figured out, when she was so, so, sure that she had found the person she’d spend the rest of her life with. Now, her twenty-two-year-old self stands here, redefining love all over again.

This time, she luckily falls on the right side of love.

Here I go,

No doubt, no tears,

And none of the fear in me.

In love, I see,

Got all of it clear to me.

You are my most vivid dream.

A/N: Hello, everyone. This started as a 2k words drabble I found on my drafts, it was supposed to be for someone's birthday, but she doesn't use twitter anymore and we barely talk now, so yeah.  I wanted to write more for iz*one, but I've been on a very bad writing slump. I've only managed to finish this thanks to a scary mentor who urged me and reminded me to finish it. We'll hide that person with the name 'Jelly48.'

I was originally planning to work on one more fic (Time Travel AU) to be posted on April, sort of my own way of saying goodbye properly. I don't know, but we'll see. 
 

Thank you for reading! I hope y'all had fun as much as I did when writing these stuffs. 

I don't know if anyone would read this, but if you do, leave some comments or maybe hang around on my cc. I want to hear more from y'all. Let's talk about fics for the last time? Anyway, have a great day! Take care, y'all! 

@/drunkcatto on twt and cc: https://curiouscat.me/gimletrue

STAN TALENT, STAN GINNY41!!!!!!!!!!!!!