it was a dark day the day that she left. I replay the words i had said to her over and over again in my head, almost like a movie i had seen far too many times to the point i could recite it word for word. The silence that came after that door slammed shut, just before my loud sobs broke out, hurting even my own head as i cried over the profanities and vulgar words we shared with eachother, some of which i'll never forget. 

I still don't quite believe that i said them things, i don't even remember why we fought or what the reasoning was, we just did, from there onwords, it went downhill. First it was normal fighting, just bickering and telling eachother what we were doing wrong, then it turned to shouting, to screams, to crying.....and then she left. The loud bang of the door echoing and echoing over and over in my head, it keeps me awake at night and won't let me rest. i knew i felt something other than anger or saddness when she left, i wasn't sure what happened but i knew for sure it wasn't good. 

When i say i knew it wasn't good it wasn't the expecting her to call and ask for a break, or say that she was staying at her parents for a while kind of not good, i don't know how to explain it but i could feel a part of me leaving that night. I woke up the next day, with barely any sleep and looking like i had gotten into a fist fight with a racoon, to a knock on the door. I hoped maybe she'd come back but i still felt something was off and as soon as i opened the door to two police officers, i knew that my hopes were for nothing. They explained she was walking across the street and a drunk man pushed her onto the road accidentally just as a car went by and she didn't have the time to save her and the driver didn't have the time to stop. They explained she was taken to hospital and that she told them about me, but said she didn't want to worry me so they didn't come get me, at her request. They explained that she wrote a letter before she passed and it was for me.

'Kim Minji' it read, 'my beloved wife, i am sorry to leave you this way, i'm sorry for all the arguments, the fights, the dumb bickering, everything. I do not want you to feel sorry for what happened, it is not your fault but merely an accident, what happend has nothing to do with this. I hope you can move on and live happier without me, same way you would want me to if you were in this position. Don't be sad, my love. I am and always will be here for you, if you ever need me, look to the stars and remember all the nights we went stargazing together, remember how i would always stare at you as you talked so passionately about the constelations,. You always said i was the only star you needed in life and now this stars light has died out. Stay safe my love and continue to fight, i love you.'

I couldn't feel anything aside from the warm tears, slowly dripping from my eyes, down my cheeks and landing onto the paper, my eyes slowly blurring from the tears as i set down the note on the table and closed my eyes, and resting head in my hands while my fingers slowly intertwined in my red hair before grabbing the strands harshly and dropping my elbows to my knees. I silently screamed out, hoping that if i called her name more that she might come back. What a fool i was. It finally hit me that she was never coming back when i seen her body laying there in the coffin, her beautiful face looked soft and her eyes closed, the stunning shade of brown hidden from the world. It finally hit me that the love of my life, my angel that fell from heaven, Kim Bora, had left this world...