“Soyeonie~!” She instinctively turned at the sound of her name being called. The door was ajar and Miyeon’s head was peeking in. She probably didn’t even register when she was doing aegyo anymore.

Recently, she had been leaving the door unlocked in case needed to reach her. To her relief, everyone knew not to disturb her when she was working on something. She had recently made quite a bit of progress with the lyrics and melody so she was in a good mood.

“Yes?” Soyeon lifted her headphones away from her ears to show that she was listening.

“Our baby brought food. At least come and say hello, even if you’re not going to eat.” Soyeon gave her a wry smile at the nickname and the senior was gone.

Ever since the freshman had started making regular appearances a few times a week, Miyeon had been calling her “Our Baby” as a pun derived from her name. She had thought it was genius and Yuqi had gone along with it. The freshman had gotten surprisingly close to the other girls over the past few weeks, and she was happy to know that Yuqi was growing more comfortable in the station.

However, things between them hadn’t changed much. There wasn't any animosity between them anymore, but their relationship was strictly professional. They kept up their playful banter during the radio show, and they made small talk when they were within a group, but she wouldn’t define their relationship as particularly close. Neither party made any extra effort to start a conversation, nor did Yuqi show her any sign that she wanted to get to know her in a less professional sense, so she couldn't help but feel that perhaps the freshman wasn't really that interested in befriending her.

Despite Yuqi’s eagerness to learn, Soyeon couldn’t help but remember that the girl was just here to fulfil her credits for her course. She wasn’t exactly that invested in them other than in a professional capacity. She didn’t exactly want to get attached to someone whose presence was only temporary. Miyeon had chided her for having such a pessimistic mindset, but that was where the two of their approaches diverged. The fourth year was openly friendly and she was easy to talk to. Soyeon only spent time and showed her more vulnerable side to people who were worth her effort. That wasn't to say that she completely shut out the possibility of becoming more than co-workers though.

She told herself that if Yuqi came to her classroom again, she would say something about it to her. However, Yuqi had been going to the right classroom recently, which meant that other than during broadcasts, they hardly had opportunities to interact in a less formal capacity.

Yes, she admitted that Yuqi almost always arrived early for broadcasts and joined the others in the meeting room, but she had never been someone who was actively involved in groups. She didn’t mind being around her friends, but she tended to not have much to contribute to the conversation. She wasn't involved in school activities like Miyeon; and neither was she interested in the latest trends like Chaeyoung. There wasn't much opinion she could offer. Yuqi, on the other hand, seemed to be able to join a conversation no matter the topic. It was a skill she wished she had. Instead, in her case, socialising to that extent would take up more energy than she could expend.

Sometimes when it became too noisy, she preferred to just spend time alone with her thoughts. However, the station had become less conducive recently. Hence, when she realised that Yuqi was going to be around more often than not, she decided to escape the social pressure. She couldn't very well hide in her booth all the time. She needed a different, separate place to exist, where she could concentrate and either study or write music without any distractions.

That was coincidentally how she ended up befriending her TA.

The situation happened rather unexpectedly. She usually didn't feel comfortable with a teacher’s assistant, because despite their academic status as a student, it always felt like there was a wall between them. Thus, it was even more remarkable that one of her closest friendships bloomed from it.

She had found an empty table in the library. It was tucked away in the corner, far away from prying stares and nosy librarians who always thought that students came to the library to fool around. Granted, it wasn’t that inaccurate. Given that she too, had come across a number of couples in her forays into the reserved sections of the archives.

She usually spent a couple of hours studying or writing lyrics that come to mind. She had been doing just that when she heard a soft cough from behind her. It was particularly odd because no one usually approached her, in class or on the street. That was one of the reasons why she didn't want her identity to be made public. She paused her music to acknowledge the person’s presence but she realised that as much as the girl looked familiar, she couldn’t remember her name.

“Excuse me, hello,” The girl greeted politely. “Sorry to bother you... You’re Jeon Soyeon right? I think you’re in my TA class this semester?”

“Ah, yes, Hi...” Soyeon returned feebly. She felt embarrassed at the sound of her own voice. She cleared uncomfortably. It would be awful to admit that despite seeing someone every week to mark attendance and receiving email notifications about the lectures, she didn’t actually remember her TA’s name. Checking through her emails to verify her name would be way too obvious, and she would look even more of an idiot.

“I’m Seo Soojin. We were in the same Music Theory class during freshman year...” The girl introduced herself, saving Soyeon the awkwardness of having to ask. She blinked, trying to recall the presence of a blonde girl in her class. She would have definitely taken notice of a blonde student, since in the first year of college, students were more conservative. Yet, to her frustration, she couldn’t seem to recall this girl being there. Soojin seemed like a nice person too, which made Soyeon feel even more ashamed that she hadn’t noticed the other girl, even though she had clearly been remembered.

Soyeon tended to venture too deep into her thoughts, so she was glad when the other girl spoke again.

“This might sound a little strange; but I noticed that you always sit alone so I was wondering if I could join you today?”

Her voice was sweet and airy, and it pulled her back to reality. Soojin reminded Soyeon of cotton candy for some reason. She wasn’t sure if Soojin was whispering or if her voice was naturally this soft, but somehow, her voice put her at ease.

Soojin’s long blonde hair seemed to have gotten trapped between some of her books. She shifted the books in her arms and moved her hair behind her shoulder. As she did so, the lines on her forearms that came from cradling her books became visible. That motion effectively nudged Soyeon back to reality and she gestured quickly to the seats around her. The whole thing happened within the span of two minutes maximum, but it felt like an hour to Soyeon.

“Sorry. Soojin-ssi, please sit down.”

The girl placed a stack books next to her gratefully. Soyeon was about to continue with writing her notes until Soojin leaned over and whispered to her again.

“Sorry to impose upon you again, but would it be alright if my friend comes over later? I was supposed to meet her here to study, but there aren’t any other tables available...”

“Of course. I have an appointment in the afternoon so I’ll be leaving soon, anyway.” Soyeon smiled in reassurance.

There was a few minutes of awkward silence while the blonde arranged her belongings on the table, while Soyeon struggled to come up with a way to start a conversation because the atmosphere was getting really weird. The other third year beat her to it though.

“Is that one of the required readings for comparative music studies?”

Soyeon hesitated and lifted the front cover of the book she was reading. She didn’t really prepare for class by doing all the specific readings. She preferred to read broadly and find out about other opinions and cultures related to the arrangements.

“I guess so?” Soojin chuckled good naturedly at her answer. It was as if she understood her hesitation.

“You don’t have to be so formal with me, you know? I got the TA position because I’m not planning to take the class, not because of my grades.”

Soyeon couldn’t deny her surprise. There were two ways by which one could become a TA in college. The first was the more common way, which was to finish that module with the highest score in their class. The second, which was more unusual, was to show the professor that they had no intention of taking that class in future.

“You’re not? What are you majoring in, then?”

“Performing Arts, but I intend to pursue both dance and vocal performance majors.”

“Sounds like a heavy course load.” Soyeon commented. She was acquainted with people who were studying in either of those courses, but they were always complaining about their tuition fees and how they hardly have time to do anything else. She couldn’t imagine how someone could manage both as well as a TA position.

“It’s what we have to do to fulfil our dreams, right?”

Soojin shrugged mildly but she had a calm and serene voice when she replied. It was as if she had made her decision and was determined to get through it. Soyeon admired that part about her.

They spent the next half an hour doing their work separately, until Soyeon felt her phone vibrate from the alarm she usually set to ensure that she wasn’t late. Time had flown by, and she hadn’t felt discomforted by her presence. It had been a while since she studied with someone, but she found that she quite enjoyed it.

She looked at her unexpected companion, who was engrossed in making notes about an article she was reading. It would be weird to suddenly say goodbye, since they weren’t exactly friends. However, they weren’t exactly strangers either and it would be weirder if she left without saying anything. She chose the former option, since she thought that it wouldn’t do her any harm to make a new acquaintance, and studying with her fellow course mate hadn’t been a bad experience. It occurred to her that most of her friends were either her seniors or juniors, so befriending someone her age was refreshing.

“I’ll head off now, but please feel free to continue using the table when your friend comes.”

The blonde looked up, slightly surprised that she was being addressed. However, her expression quickly changed to a friendly smile.

“Thank you, I will. It was nice talking to you, Soyeon-ssi.”

“I’ll see you around in school then, Soojin-ssi.”

“Likewise, Soyeon-ssi.”

She was walking through the shelves and nearing the exit when she heard thundering footsteps and a tall figure blurred past her. She was nearly knocked over, but she maintained her balance by holding onto a bookshelf.

Realising her unintentional actions, the girl turned around and bowed apologetically. “Sorry!”

Soyeon frowned as the girl ran off in the direction she was heading, heavy footsteps in her wake. She wasn’t sure how old the student was, but it was clear from her Korean that she was a foreigner. She didn’t want to lecture a stranger on etiquette even though this was a library, so she let it go and continued walking.

“Jjinjin-ah!!! I’m here!” She heard the girl say, before there was a rapid amount of shushing and giggling coming from the direction she had come from.

Soyeon shrugged as she stepped out of the library. She hoped that the blonde she was studying with hadn’t been disturbed by the commotion. The other people in the library must have been annoyed as well. She was glad she wasn't staying in the library any longer because there would definitely be no peace.

~~~~

For the first time in a while, Soyeon felt a great detestation for song breaks. She was filled with an unfamiliar dread as she announced a song break and started shifting through her playlist to ensure that there were no song repeats.

At least during the calls, her attention, as well as Yuqi’s, would be on the caller and their questions. The freshman had been unusually intent on riling her up that day. She had no idea what had changed over the past couple of weeks, but Yuqi was suddenly adamant about asking her friend to visit the station. She had been relentless in her questioning and probing, trying to persuade Soyeon to agree. If it had been Miyeon who directed Yuqi’s focus to her, then she would definitely have some words with the older girl later.

She had just started playing IU’s ‘BbiBbi’, when her co-host spoke again.

“Can you at least think about letting her come?” She didn’t even bother looking at her. Yuqi was probably trying to give her a wounded puppy look.

“No.”

“Please! She won’t tell anyone...”

“You’ve said ‘please’ three times already.” She pointed out casually.

“If you’d said yes, I wouldn’t have to keep repeating it.” The freshman quipped back.

“I told you, I don’t want random people coming into the studio as and when they please. I like that only a select few people know who I am.” Soyeon explained frankly. She had chosen an alias that wouldn’t have made sense to most people for this exact reason. The only people who had even heard the song she submitted for her freshman year song writing assignment were herself, the professor, and her assigned mentor for that course.

The first version of the song received horrible reviews and she had very nearly failed the assignment. However, the professor had taken pity on her being inexperienced and searching for her sound. Hence, he had advised her to go with a different concept because the public wasn’t forgiving towards artists. Once they had a negative image in their minds, it was very hard to change their impression and gain acclaim.

Still, it had been a rather crushing blow to her when she received the grade report, but she told herself that she needed to work harder and give the professor less reason to find fault with her work in future. His words of advice stuck with her and they were part of the reason why she branched out into experimental concepts to push the boundaries of public expectations.

She later came up with a follow up piece to the assignment to pull her final grade up, which the professor liked so much that he recommended it to someone in the industry.

For her, everything began with that one song, so the name had a special place in her heart. It reminded her of how much she had grown and improved since then, and how far she still had to go before she could be anywhere near satisfied with herself as an artist. Whenever she thought of her journey so far, she felt proud of herself for proving that she could succeed by continuously working hard and not giving up.

However, that story wasn’t something she wanted to share, and she didn’t feel the need to explain herself even more to Yuqi.

“Besides, there are also protocols to follow. We had to submit a proposal and report when we invited you in.” She added. There were many reasons why she didn’t trust just anyone to come to the studio, but she hoped the freshman would understand that it wasn’t just because of her identity.

“She’s not a random person. She’s my best friend!” They were going in circles. She didn’t like arguing as much as Yuqi seemed to think she did. She had made her point several times and her stance was clear. Yet, she didn’t seem to get the message.

“That may be true, but I don’t know her.” Soyeon replied.

Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. She knew who Minnie was, mainly because Miyeon wouldn’t stop talking about her. She also knew more than she wanted to know about their dates, thanks to the same person. However, she had never met the girl. She knew that she would have to meet her sometime, as one of Miyeon’s close friends, but she would prefer to do it in another setting.

“Of course not! I haven’t introduced you yet! I was a stranger to you once. Doesn’t everyone start off that way?”

Soyeon faced the younger girl and tilted her head. She was pushing this one issue very persistently, so there had to be a reason for it. Considering that the admittance of any guest had to go through her, she knew very well that getting her friend approved wasn’t impossible, but she didn’t want to do it unless there was really a good reason.

She crossed her arms and watched Yuqi’s reaction closely.

“Why is my meeting this one person so important to you?”

“Because... she’s important to me... and I want people who are important to me, to meet one another.” Soyeon sighed.

She knew what the girl was implying, but she didn’t like the way she phrased it. Flattery wasn't a method that worked well with her. She didn’t think Yuqi would outright consider her an important person, but she supposed that having a friend over would make her co-host more comfortable. Hence, she didn’t want to deny her that. She wasn’t a complete monster. Plus, it would be a nice treat for Miyeon too.

The younger girl looked defeated. She didn't like seeing her so sad.

“She can come.”

“WAH! Really? Soyeon, you’re the best!! Thank you so much!”

She barely had time to register her own name when she felt the squeeze of Yuqi’s arms around her. The gasp she let out was unintentional and she hoped the other girl didn’t notice. The other girl seemed to realise that she wasn’t responding to the back hug and released her. Soyeon found herself at a loss for words, still trying to process everything that was happening. First things first, she had to calm down. Her heart was still pounding and she felt the need for fresh air.

She heard the strangled apology as well as how cold the room was when Yuqi stepped away. She hadn’t realised how warm the younger girl felt when she was hugging her. Or maybe she was the one who was burning up.

She needed water; or fresh air and a distraction. That would probably help.

“Uh-uhm, it’s fine. I’m going... I’m going to get a drink. Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. Thanks!” Yuqi seemed to be relieved, and that eased her worry too.

Seizing her chance to escape, Soyeon all but scurried out of the room the moment the younger girl turned to her phone, presumably to update her friend with the good news. Meanwhile she, on the other hand, went on a search for clarification.

She found the person she was looking for in the waiting area, eating a cupcake from a box that Yuqi had brought for them.

“Unnie!” Miyeon jumped at the volume of her voice and looked up, mouthful of food. Soyeon stifled a laugh at how cute she looked.

“What?” She said, amidst the attempt to swallow the food quickly.

“Did you invite your girlfriend to the studio?”

“Uh... no?” Miyeon furrowed her brow and checked her messages. “When did she say she was coming?”

“Apparently she made a request through her best friend.” She replied. The older girl nodded in understanding and looked almost proud to hear that.

“It’s smart of her to think of that. Even though I’m your favourite senior, you’d definitely have a harder time saying ‘No’ to your crush.”

“There are a lot of things wrong with that statement.” Soyeon crossed her arms, unimpressed.

“Well, you’re not very discreet, Soyeonie, and neither is she.” Conveniently focusing on the “crush” part of her statement, Miyeon asserted. At her confused expression, Miyeon rolled her eyes, as if she was already being obvious with her allegations. “Did you think we wouldn’t notice you disappearing more often instead of coming here?”

“I’ve been studying!” She defended. She had actually gotten more work done over the past few days due to her trips to the library, so she wasn’t sorry.

“We’re not upset, don’t worry. I’m just saying that we noticed; and I’m not referring to just me and Chaeyoungie.”

“Does that mean my favourite Jennie sunbaenim also noticed my absence?” She couldn’t help but tease the older girl with her feigned ignorance. Everyone knew that she had an immense amount of respect for Jennie because of her vocals and rap skills.

It took a few seconds for Miyeon to realise that she was joking. Then, Miyeon pouted and pounded her shoulder lightly while whining. Her fists were lighter than pillows so if anything, Soyeon was just amused by her antics.

“Aww, Soyeonie! That was mean....”

The DJ giggled at how childish the senior looked at that moment. Miyeon always managed to lighten up her mood even when she wasn’t doing anything in particular.

“I’m not asking you to spend all your time here, but Yuqi is trying to get to know you, and you seem to like her too, so why not give her a chance?”

Soyeon hummed, not wanting to give her an answer.

“If I’m going to set you and your girlfriend up on a date then you owe me an iced chocolate.”

“Technically we don’t need to be set up-“ Miyeon looked at her incredulous face and burst into a fit of laughter. “You look so cute right now.”

She frowned even more. “I’m not cute!”

“Right now, you are.”

Soyeon sighed. Miyeon would never stop calling her “cute” despite the amount of times she denied her allegations. She disliked that word. There was nothing cute about the way she looked. She didn't have pretty features, and just the thought of aegyo made her cringe.

It was a word that felt so contradictory to her being that she couldn't fathom how anyone would even believe that she could fall within that definition. Perhaps that was why the senior made it her mission to use that word as many times as possible. Miyeon squealed as she ran over to pet her head again and smother her with affection, much to Soyeon’s disgust.

“Ah excuse me...” Both heads whipped around to see Yuqi, looking awkward about interrupting them.

“Yes?” They asked in unison. Miyeon made no effort to disentangle herself and Soyeon made no effort to move away either.

Yuqi pointed towards the radio booth.

“The song break is about to end...?”

“Oh. Right.” Remembering their duties, the two girls broke apart and hurried back to their positions, but not before Miyeon mouthed the words “Just think about it, okay?” to her.

As if she would be able to avoid thinking about it.

~~~~

“Unnie, have you been reading the forums lately?”

“No. It’s mostly filled with gossip.” Soyeon shifted the papers in her hand and connected her earphones so she could hear her friend clearly. Why? Should I be reading them?”

“No........ but your show has been mentioned a few times now.” The girl on the other end of the line trailed off. “Well, more like your name in particular.”

“Go on, Eunbin-ah. I’m listening.” Adjusting her bag, Soyeon leaned against the back wall of the library. She kept her voice low, so as to not attract unwanted attention. She was supposed to be studying, but on the way there, she had received a call from her junior. She hadn’t spoken to Eunbin since her mid-term period started. The younger girl had also been actively involved in a few club activities as well, which left them very few opportunities to meet in person.

“Uh... You and your co-host, are you guys close? It’s Yuqi-ssi, right?”

Soyeon nodded before remembering that the other girl couldn’t actually see her.

“We’re...” Were they friends? The freshman had recently hugged and addressed her without honorifics. As Yuqi was younger, it was considered very causal to address her so forwardly. That was mostly reserved for close friends, or lovers. That being said, Yuqi definitely didn’t have the same mindset. She was also affectionate with everyone, so she felt that it was safe to assume that they could be called slightly more than acquaintances, but she wouldn’t exactly define them as friends. “Friendly.”

“Wow.” Eunbin stated bluntly. “Okay, that’s not vague at all, unnie. I mean, from the comments...”

Soyeon frowned. Comments?

She was used to people directing their criticisms and complaints at her, so much that she didn’t bother reading comments on forums or platforms anymore. She had people calling to leave nasty comments or ual innuendos, which were more irritating.

As far as she was concerned, there would always be someone who didn’t agree with her actions or had something to say against her. Rather than waste her breath dealing with people who were already convinced that she was the villain in their story, she had more important things to deal with, like assignments, and song writing. She didn’t want to let their hurtful words affect her and ruin her hard work.

However, it had slipped her mind to check on the freshman, because anyone associated with her would likely be taken notice of as well. She could dodge the bullets with relative and practiced ease. She wasn’t so sure about the bright eyed freshman who had taken up residence in the seat next to her.

“What are they saying about her? How bad is it? Do we need to do something about it?” There was a hearty chuckle from the younger girl.

“Ah, that’s more like what I expected.” Soyeon rolled her eyes. “To answer your second question, it’s nothing bad exactly, but if you want to do something about it, you can.”

“So they are talking about her?”

“More like both of you...together.”

“Together? Is that a code for something nowadays?” Soyeon asked. They were hosting the show together, after all. It wouldn't be a surprise if their names were mentioned together.

Eunbin giggled as if she knew something that Soyeon didn’t. “Ah, I forgot how innocent you are, unnie. Remember how in camp you didn’t understand some of the raps and you had to search up the meanings online because none of us would tell you?”

“My eyes and brain were scarred by that, by the way. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think of toffee the same way again.”

“Toffee? Oh, because it’s stic-“

“Don’t say it, Kwon Eunbin.” She warned sternly.

“It’s an icky feeling, isn’t it?”

“Ugh!” She groaned, much to her friend’s amusement. “I’ve had to perform much worse songs than that.”

“But that’s still the one song that gets you to react like this.” She laughed. She was never letting it go, not that Soyeon would actually do anything about it.

She heard someone call out Eunbin’s name over the line. Then, the junior was apologising for having to rush off to class and saying that she’ll contact her again soon.

This time, Soyeon found that her usual table was already occupied. It was none other than Soojin, the girl who had asked to share her table previously. She was more or less sure that the other girl wouldn’t dismiss her if she were to ask for the favour to be returned.

Hence, Soyeon walked up to where she was sitting and waved to catch her attention.

“Hello, Soojin-ssi.” The other girl smiled sweetly and returned her greeting. Without hesitation, the blonde moved her books to make room for the DJ to sit down beside her.

“I realised that you weren’t here yet, and I wanted to let you know that I saved you a seat, but I realised I didn’t have your contact.” The TA said shyly. “I was thinking about it, but it would be weird to communicate that to you via email right?”

Soyeon took out her phone and added Soojin on KakaoTalk. Frankly, it was a relief to know that she wasn’t the only one who became socially awkward during situations like this. Soojin seemed to be an introvert like her, which made her the ideal person for her to get along with. She sent Soojin a lion emoji after her friend request was accepted, and she saw the other girl light up as she sent another emoji in return.

”Are you studying alone today or is your friend from last time coming?” She asked, putting her phone away.

“Ah, she’s having a class right now. She’ll only be joining me after her lecture.” Soojin explained softly. “Which is a good thing, because I can actually get some work done.”

“Too distracting?”

“Too noisy.” Soojin corrected, despite her snickering which conveyed her less than serious outlook. “If it was up to her, she’d skip class just to meet me. It’s nice to be alone sometimes though, but don’t tell her I said that.”

“Even if I meet her one day, I won’t.” Soyeon promised. The more she spoke with Soojin, the more she felt that they were kindred spirits. There was an easy flow of conversation that flowed back and forth between them. She couldn’t be more thankful that the other girl decided to summon up her confidence and approach her the other day.

She wasn’t usually this forthcoming but somehow Soojin’s presence encouraged her to open up about herself. So, she did. Soojin listened to her stories about her own friends who were way more extroverted, and shared her own as well. Apparently, Soojin was also the quiet one amongst her group. She only spoke when she had something to say, or when she wanted to tease someone. Her experiences resonated with her since she too, felt like had nothing much to contribute, in a circle of extroverts.

Although it did occur to Soyeon that Soojin’s friends and hers would actually get along pretty well if they were introduced, she hadn’t really thought that far into the future yet. Perhaps someday, they would be introduced.

After bidding her newfound confidante goodbye, Soyeon realised that she hadn’t thought about checking the forums at all, even though it had been on the forefront of her mind before she went into the library. Instead, she made her way towards the station with a slight spring in her step.

~~~

Approving Minnie’s visit to the studio was easily the best and worst decision she’d made in her career so far. The good news was, the visit went a lot better than she had initially expected. The bad news was that

The introduction was rather awkward because out of everyone, she had been the only one, other than Chaeyoung, who didn’t any personal relationship with Minnie. Miyeon has been nearly buzzing out of her seat in anticipation, blaming the iced americano she held in her hand, but Soyeon didn’t believe her for a second.

Miyeon honestly didn’t have to worry so much when it was Soyeon who should be worried about living up to expectations. She had nearly panicked when she heard a high and mellow voice trail after Yuqi’s boisterous voice.

Despite her worry, it was good to finally reconcile her idea of Miyeon’s girlfriend with a physical person, because the entire time, she had been listening to stories about her without being able to put a face and voice to her name.

She had greeted Minnie politely with a bow. She didn’t think she would be calling a freshman “unnie”, but despite her school rank, Minnie was older than her by age and she wanted to show her some respect. Minnie had spoken softly at first, telling her that she really respected her, and Soyeon replied that she had a great amount of respect for her too, considering she had to deal with both Yuqi and Miyeon on a daily basis. The reverberating laugh came out of nowhere and Soyeon found that her glee was rather infectious. Yuqi rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded like “this was a mistake”.

She expected the other girl to stick to her friend or girlfriend since they were the obvious choices for company within her comfort zone. However, the newcomer did the opposite and struck up conversation with her, every chance she got. Soyeon was more surprised to realise she didn’t actually mind the amount of questions she had.

Within half an hour, she was already sold on the cheerful and sweet girl.

Why hadn’t Minnie been the one to call her instead? The thought popped into her head once, but she knew that if it had been Minnie on the other end of the line, she wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Minnie was respectful and eager to learn about her process with music and her song mixes as a DJ. Minnie was clearly a bigger and more dedicated fan as compared to her actual co-host, ironically. Hence, when the freshman started peppering her with comments on her raps and quoting her own lyrics, she was almost certain that she would end up becoming friends with her.

She had even offered to let Minnie try one of her demos that she was working on, since the other girl was a rather esteemed vocalist, according to Miyeon. Needless to say, their guest had been ecstatic to accept her offer and put on the headphones. She caught Miyeon’s proud gaze a couple of times, whether it was directed at her or Minnie, she didn’t know.

They ended up exchanging numbers by the end of the day, much to Yuqi’s shock. Soyeon would never forget her co-host’s expression when Minnie gave her a big hug before the two of them left for dinner after the broadcast ended.

The look of betrayal on Yuqi’s face was so eminent that she was almost fearful for Minnie’s safety. She struggled to maintain her professional composure and not stick out her tongue to tease the younger girl. She couldn’t help it. Whenever she saw Yuqi’s annoyed expression, it was like a challenge to crack the younger girl’s mask and make her realise that she wasn’t really angry. She had a ton of ideas of what to do or say at that moment.

Instead, she held back and gave them a friendly wave, even though Yuqi continued glaring at her.

Since then, it was as if the dynamics of Soyeon’s circles had shifted slightly.

She still studied in the library with Soojin, but she didn’t need the respite as much as before. As it turned out, she realised that perhaps, what she needed was a friend who understood her.

When things got busy, Soojin was the only person outside of the studio whom she interacted with. She hadn’t expected to find someone who was even more shy and introverted than she was. Yet, Soojin seemed to be exactly that.

The blonde seemed to understand what she needed without her saying a word. She had sent her a sad lion emoji once, and Soojin replied with the address of a campus cafe and a time. She always listened without judgment and never pressured her for more details. Although she was older by months, Soojin gave off a nurturing aura that made Soyeon feel comfortable asking her for advice.

Over time, she got to know her course mate better as well. She found out that Soojin had a girlfriend; a freshman who was the complete opposite of her. She likened her to an excited puppy who was overly attached but she was cute in her own way. Soyeon briefly thought back to the girl who ran past her in the library the other day, and wondered if there was a connection between her and her friend.

Soyeon also learned that Soojin was raising two puppies, named Haku and Mata, which she adored dearly. She offered to introduce her puppies, literally and figuratively, to her someday.

Soyeon was genuinely touched by her offer. She had loved playing with her family’s dog as a child, but when she started having allergic reactions as a result of the fur, her family had to give the dog away. She remembered crying uncontrollably for a few days because she was so sad. Then, one day, her parents bought her a stuffed dog and said that it would keep her company until she grew up and dogs didn’t make her sneeze and cough anymore. Now that she was older, she kept a pack of anti-histamines in her bag. They kept the allergies at bay, and they allowed her to interact with dogs for short periods of time.

When the exam period ended, assignment and project weeks started. Soojin and her met up every week for a drink before their shared class, but she needed to spend more time polishing up her music. She hadn’t even recorded the demo yet. Hence, Soyeon found herself spending less time in the library and more breaks sitting around the campus field.

The field was most commonly known as the biggest open space on campus. It was like a mini park within their college radius, big enough for people to hold sports practices in groups, and spacious enough for people to sit around without crossing paths with other people. Most of the time, it was filled with students who wanted to get a break from classes.

For someone like Soyeon, it was especially suitable for her to blast music in her headphones without worrying about disturbing someone. It was a good place for her to empty her mind and take a breather, in between her busy schedules. Unsurprisingly, she found herself coming up with more lyrics and chords and eventually formed the backbone of one of the songs she was working on.

The initial melody was already catchy and powerful but she needed something different, something unusual to set the song apart from all the other submissions. She needed-

She paused in her writing when she realised that something was blocking part of the breeze and casting her in a partial shadow. She noticed the sneakers and familiar sling bag that hung just within her line of vision. Soyeon waited for a beat, then another.

It was definitely her, but why wasn’t the freshman saying anything?

She had been standing in front of her for a while. Yuqi wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. Unless, she was waiting for her to say something first. Soyeon was too distracted to continue writing anyway.

“If you plan to major in stalking, you’re not going to pass the exam.” She said dryly, hoping the freshman would catch on.

Soyeon thought she saw her cheeks turn pink for a second, but she dismissed it as a trick of the light since her face was in shadow. Yuqi looked startled, but she sat down next to her when Soyeon moved her things. To her relief, the junior didn’t immediately start a conversation with her. In fact, most of the time was spent in quiet silence, which she appreciated. Yuqi seemed content to just remain beside her and fiddle with her phone. It was a change from the bubbly and opinionated girl she was used to interacting with in the studio. She still had a lot to learn about the junior who somehow managed to push her way into her life and make a home for herself while she was there.

In the end, it was her who ended up starting a conversation.

“So, how did you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t.” Yuqi replied, wiping off the grass stains on her legs with a wet tissue. Soyeon considered that. Wearing a skirt wasn’t exactly appropriate attire for sitting in a field. “But it’s hard to not notice or recognize you when I see you.”

She didn’t know exactly what Yuqi meant by that, but it was answer that Soyeon could accept. So, she kept quiet and allowed the younger girl to lead her to the radio station.

The next time she showed up, there was a small box of tangerines by her side. Soyeon had eyed them suspiciously until the freshman explained that her mother had sent them to her as a care package and she had too many to finish on her own. Whether she was telling the truth, Soyeon didn’t know. However, she could never hide her love for tangerines anyway.

Between the two of them, the box was emptied before they even made it to the station.

The following few instances where Yuqi “happened to be in the area” created a routine, and soon, the others in the station were no longer surprised when both of them showed up together. Only Miyeon about it in private, but she could tell that Chaeyoung was itching to say something to her as well.

It didn’t really bother her much. They could think however they wanted. Yuqi and her were hosting the show together. Despite their rocky beginning, they had to get closer at some point or their banter would get stagnant.

At least, that was what she was telling herself.

~~~

She knew that they were bound to have this conversation sooner or later.

At the rate they were interacting, Yuqi was fast becoming someone important to her. It was already hard for her to deny the younger girl’s requests. She shuddered to think of how easily she would give in to her in future, if Yuqi continued to push past her walls.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is there a reason for all this?” Soyeon glanced up from the equipment in her hands. She directed her best questioning look at Yuqi, or rather, as best as it could be, considering her arms were full.

“The whole DJ Jelly thing.”

“What do you mean?” She asked. This sounded like it was going to become a longer conversation so she moved back to the table and put the equipment down. Yuqi looked at her apologetically but she shrugged and motioned for her to go on.

“Well, Soyeon and DJ Jelly are very different. If Miyeon was the one in trouble, you wouldn’t say any of those things that you say on the show.”

“Careful, you’re starting to sound terribly sure of yourself.” She said. It was partially deflection yet also in jest. After all, if Yuqi was really asking for the story, she would have to trust her to an extent. She liked Yuqi, but this would be something that altered their friendship. It was like finding out that one thing that turned someone from being just an everyday acquaintance into an actual friend, someone trustworthy and someone who knows and guards a piece of their identity. It was a turning point of commitment, where giving that bit of information is like trusting that the person is in it for the long run.

In short, it wasn’t something that Soyeon would think lightly of. It was something she had been considering ever since the day Yuqi walked up to her in the field, or maybe before that.

She made her decision. “Ah Soyeon...” Soyeon felt the light push against her shoulder as the younger girl nudged her, but she wasn’t in a hurry to move away and neither was she. She wasn’t sure when it started, but Yuqi’s presence had become something that brought her warmth and security.

“Fine...” She wanted to sigh in mock resignation, but she couldn’t do it, not after seeing how happy Yuqi looked when she agreed. She turned away from the eager freshman and began her story.“One of my music assessments last year was to create a music product that exhibited myself.”

“Product?” Yuqi cut in, temporarily disrupting Soyeon’s musing. “Like a track?”

“That’s what I asked the lecturer too; but he said that it was completely up to us to define ourselves.”

“I was stuck for a long time because I didn’t really know what I wanted to do as a musician. I liked rapping, I could sing, I could probably put together a dance if I had to... All I knew for sure was that I wanted to do something that I enjoyed, and I didn’t want to limit myself.” The DJ paused and looked over at Yuqi, almost surprised that the younger girl was still listening.

“Somewhere along the line, I needed a studio but all of them were booked by the fourth years. I must have looked rather desperate because I was finally directed here by an upperclassman.” Soyeon tilted her head. That was the day she got to know Miyeon. Miyeon was one of the committee members on duty, so Soyeon often encountered her when she was searching for a room. Miyeon always looked so guilty when she reported that the rooms were all pre-booked by seniors. After repeatedly going to the registry and failing to get a room allocation, she would end up putting on headphones and trying to work on her own outside. The third time she sat outside and attempted to compose using a computer software, the gentle senior approached her with a key and a school layout in hand. Despite how they began, she wouldn’t have gone about it in any other way because she had gained one of her closest friends from it.

She turned to Yuqi to add a side note before continuing. “It was Miyeon, by the way.”

If Yuqi was trying to conceal her surprise, she failed badly. She could almost see the wheels in the younger girl’s head turn as she tried to figure out the connections. It was a good thing Yuqi didn’t realise how cute she was. It made Soyeon wonder how much of their past Miyeon revealed to her. She knew that they had become friends, especially since Yuqi’s best friend was also Miyeon’s girlfriend. Hence, part of her was curious as to how close her and Miyeon had actually become as of late, but she shrugged it off as something she would find out eventually.

“This place used to belong to a radio club which disbanded a couple of years back, but the room and equipment were said to function just fine. Cut to a few days later when I was playing around with the mixer, and I realised I didn’t have to limit myself by picking one topic when I could do all of them, and then some.”

“So the Idle Radio show was your project?” She thought about the word. Despite how it began, she wouldn’t have used to word ‘project’ to describe it anymore. She shook her head. “Not exactly. I submitted my application and got accepted, but my show got cancelled after 3 weeks.”

“What?!” Yuqi’s sunny disposition changed into one of outrage. She looked genuinely upset and despite the fact that it no longer affected her as much anymore, Soyeon felt happy that she could get so worked up. The outburst on her behalf was sweet, even if it wasn’t necessary. It was in the past.

Soyeon smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. That had been a difficult time. It was a painful failure, but she had to experience it in order to grow. It was because of that, that she ended up fighting even harder to succeed.

“Why would they cancel your show when it was a graded assessment?”

Soyeon tapped her pen against the side of the table. The comments and criticisms were not things she had been prepared to handle. She recalled curling up into a ball, hidden by the shadows of the river bank, trying to quieten her sobs and prevent herself from having a full blown panic attack when she first experienced the worst of the hate comments. It felt like someone was dragging her down underwater bit by bit, clawing at her insides and tearing what was left of her into shreds. She hadn’t realised that she was gasping for breath until she felt someone touch her shoulder.

It had been a middle aged woman out for an evening jog. Her hair was tied back and she looked rather annoyed when she asked if she needed to call an ambulance. Her expression left no doubt that she thought Soyeon was a rebellious child who had run away from home.

Startled, Soyeon immediately wiped her tears in shame and apologised for disturbing her run. The lady shrugged and continued, leaving Soyeon alone with her thoughts once more. Soyeon remembered the wind drying her tears, until the only evidence of her breakdown was the coldness of her cheeks. Her eyes were dry and her breaths were steady.

The interruption reminded her that there was a world around her that would continue turning. Whoever that woman was, she would just be a nameless teenager who made her halt in the middle of her run. Other than a side comment or story for her to tell, she wouldn't exist in that woman’s life. With or without her presence, other people’s lives would still move forward. The universe was bigger than the tiny screens that people on the internet lived by, and more complex than the anonymous usernames that people hid behind when they left hateful comments.

She didn’t want to succeed out of spite. She wanted to make music. She did it out of interest, passion and love for it. Creating and piecing all the elements together, coming up with ways to turn what was in her head into lyrics on a page or notes on a manuscript and actually being satisfied with the outcome, that was why she even pursued music to begin with.

She had stared at the mass of water that was gushing past her, unbothered by the city that was humming around it. It just continued on its path, smoothening and widening the river bed. That was when she made a promise to herself. As long as she was in the industry, she wouldn’t allow someone’s hatred to cloud her vision and ruin her love for the craft of making music.

But that wasn’t the story Yuqi was asking for.

“Well, they couldn’t grade a radio show that flopped. I would have failed the assessment scope instantly. On top of that, they received comments that I was boring, and that my voice was irritating. My remixes alone weren’t catchy enough to retain an audience.”

Her voice was level. She’d recounted this story a couple of times to different people. Somehow, after running the same storyline through her head, the pain had dulled until she didn’t feel anything. She’d read the comments. She couldn’t really argue with someone’s personal opinion, especially not when it was shared by an overwhelming number of people. At that point, she felt Yuqi cover her hand with her own. It wasn’t the first time they had touched one another, but she hadn’t really allowed herself to be vulnerable or take comfort from her. The reassuring squeeze on her hand reminded her that she wasn’t alone with her thoughts. Her actions felt almost imploring, as if she was pleading with Soyeon to trust that she would be able to handle it, handle her. Soyeon considered it.

Could she, really?

Quite a bit of time must have passed, because it only registered to her that Yuqi was still her hand, when she had to supress a shiver. Before she could pull her hand away, the younger girl spoke. “You don’t have to continue unnie...”

“It’s alright. There’s not much left to tell.”

It’s okay, I want you to know. I trust you.

Those were the words that Soyeon wanted to say, but she couldn’t muster up the courage to utter them out loud. It was ironic. She might be a song writer and composer, but she couldn't string words together in person to convey her feelings. Instead, she flipped her hand over and linked their fingers together. It probably wasn't enough, but she hoped that her sincerity would be at least partly conveyed somehow. She may not be able to say the exact words, but by sharing more about herself, she could show her that she was trying.

“I composed, produced and recorded three songs for my final project; all different genres but they exhibited different sides of me.”

It sounded simple and uncomplicated, but it was far from that. Composing, writing, and producing a song was challenging on many fronts, so not many people would venture into one, let alone attempt all three, without years of experience. Still, the entire process of creating and perfecting a song was tedious and boring. She normally would not want to go into that much detail unless the other party was interested in song writing.

She thought back to the time when she received her first evaluation. She had just come to terms with her own abilities at that point of time. Fresh from high school, she lacked musical experience. All she had was sincerity, passion and emotions. It wasn’t enough.

She had fallen short of being desperate enough to beg for a better grade but she had still been rather demoralised. At some point during the process, she asked herself if she was really ready to dedicate her entire life to this industry. Despite how much criticism, hate, and unwelcome spotlight that she and anyone associated with her would have to endure. After thinking about it for a long time, she surprised herself and her parents by answering in the affirmative. Since then, she never gave herself a chance to regret making that decision.

After the night at the river, she packed her bag and locked herself in a room for weeks. Working day and night, she only took breaks when it was essential. She decided to keep the first song, despite the feedback. Looking through her notes, she realised that instead of considering it a failure, she would use it to complement the other tracks.

Each song expressed a part of herself.

‘Jelly’ was honest. It was high energy, cute, sweet and everything she dreamed that falling in love would be. She wrote the lyrics with her heart. She had taken parts of old song lyrics that she had written years ago and combined them with energised beats and rhythm to represent the excitement of realising one’s feelings. She had liked the idea of writing a song for herself, and turning it into a project. It was innocent and pure, a little bit naïve, and a bit too much like herself. That was exactly why it failed.

She would only understand after her professor told her frankly that if this is what she thought love was, she didn’t understand love or music at all. She had taken the words to heart. He wasn't wrong. She had written the lyrics at a time before she even figured out the depth of what having feelings for someone entailed. Hearing that comment directly from someone hurt, but that was what drove her to write her second song.

‘Idle Song’ was a conundrum. She had taken the feedback and changed her focus to the contradictions of love instead. She maintained the positive whimsical style from ‘Jelly’, but the message and implications were anything but. On one hand, she wanted the lyrics to portray the messy and complicated state that love could end up in. On the other, she used repetitive beats and phrases to convey the toxic cycle of a failing relationship, to the point where love, as it was, became an idle promise.

She had gleamed through a mass of teenage dramas, a part of her childhood which she had happily not taken part in. She much preferred her anime serials over backstabbing and cheating teenagers who just wanted to start unnecessary fights. After the third season of watching the main characters date one another, break up and get back together, she penned down strings of sentences that turned into a mantra and became the chorus.

By the time she came up with the starting notes for ‘Latata’, she felt that something about her outlook had changed. The last song was different. There was something about it that seemed less “Jeon Soyeon”, the playful girl who just wanted to chase her dreams, and it was the emergence of “Soyeon” the aspiring songwriter, music artist and music producer. Everything, from her production skills to her performance skills had to be conveyed, within a four minute time frame.

She did it in three minutes and twenty three seconds.

‘Latata’ was everything she had tried and failed to achieve before.

It was also about love, but this time, there was no mistaking the possessiveness and suggestive tone in the lyrics. It was powerful enough to catch a listener’s attention within the first thirty seconds. She used the imagery of singing and dancing to convey indulgence and passion, along with the idea of pouring out all of one’s emotion and energy into something that may not last forever. That was what love was, to burn as long and as passionately as it possibly could, all for a chance of being immortalised in someone’s memory.

She remembered the look on the professor’s face when he played the last demo track she had on the ordinary CD she submitted. That was something she wished she could have burned into the CD memory too.

That was a long time ago. Although that first CD had been preserved and kept as a memento by the senior. It was very simple and plain, with only her name and class number written on the label. Yet, it was something she would always treasure.

“But you came back to do the radio show even after all that?” Soyeon turned, slightly disoriented as she tried to remind herself that quite a bit of time had passed since she had last spoken. There were a lot of things she left unsaid, and Yuqi probably knew that.

She would tell her someday. Maybe. When she was ready. For now, she was content with enjoying the slight giddiness she felt when Yuqi was directing her attention and smile at her.

“I did. As it turned out, as much as people didn’t like hearing advice from Jeon Soyeon, they really liked having DJ Jelly dish out opinionated comments about their lives.”

The people who sent her hate comments as if they were tiny stones being flung at a glass house, were also the same people who cheered whenever she exercised sarcasm and wit when dealing with callers. It was as if being mean was to be applauded. At times she wondered if she should have taken psychology as a minor, because her entire career as a radio DJ could have been used as a psychology experiment, as ridiculous as it sounded.

“Well my opinion may not matter now, but I’d pick listening to Jeon Soyeon over DJ Jelly any day.”

Soyeon couldn’t resist the bubbling laughter that had her nearly doubling over. Yuqi looked so serious for a moment, and she didn’t really know how else to react. There wasn’t really a need for her to be so protective. Soyeon had already learned how to handle herself and negativity. However, hearing the words directly from the freshman’s lips made her heart feel warm.

“Aigoo Yuqi-ah, you’re too cute sometimes. Thank you for listening, but it really doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.” She leaned forward and poked her cheek affectionately. She was surprised to realise that she genuinely meant what she said. Even if it had affected her mindset and probably her self confidence to some extent, it didn’t really bother her as much anymore.

The freshman who spent most of her time struggling to find the inspiration and confidence to express her thoughts through lyrics and melodies, had grown up in some way. Now, she had purpose, direction and motivation to continue pursuing her dreams. To top it off, she had friends who cared about and accepted her, both as DJ Jelly and as Jeon Soyeon.

That was what mattered; that was enough for her.

She hadn’t realised how close her and Yuqi were sitting, until their foreheads nearly collided when they sprung apart.

“I was going to ask if you’re about ready to head out, but it seems like you’re... occupied.” Miyeon’s smile radiated pure evil and Soyeon scowled at her, irritated but unsure of the reason for her feelings.

“No,” The DJ cleated and stood. “You’re done?”

“Mm hmm... but I can wait if you’re going to need more time.” She continued grinning, mischief apparent in her eyes.

“That won’t be necessary.” Soyeon said sharply. She turned to the younger girl who seemed to have lost her voice, and directly her words to her.

“See you around, Yuqi-ah.” She called out softly. The younger girl seemed lost in her thoughts so she traced a short and tentative trail over Yuqi’s skin, to get her attention. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. When was the last time she had spoken so gently?

Soyeon shook her head free of doubts and continued, not wanting to give Miyeon more reason to . She glanced at the time and figured that Miyeon was probably going to grab something light, or they would order in and have a girls’ night, since the senior was supposed to be meeting Minnie during the weekend.

“Have a good weekend and be careful on your way home.”

Yuqi nodded. Their eyes met and Soyeon smiled at her as she left the room.

~~~

Soyeon had a bad feeling about the whole idea the moment Minnie suggested it.

She realised that perhaps after getting to know this girl, Minnie was someone who would grab an idea and run with it. If anything, she was probably even more cheesy than her co-host. It was understandable why Yuqi had gotten so worried about her. She was actually worried for Miyeon’s sanity. Ever since the Super Junior request, Miyeon had started testing out pick-up lines to combat Minnie’s attempts at flirtation. They were so bad and cringey that she wanted to create an entire segment to poke fun at them.

Who would even think that saying “I’m Sorry Sorry that I’m not Mr. Simple, but you’re the Magic in my life” was a remotely good idea? She almost preferred the “Seoul-mate” pick-up lines that she had heard before, even though anything remotely cheesey made her want to gag.

She had already allowed the two older girls to drag her out for dinner instead of staying in her room and catching up on the latest One Piece anime season like she had originally planned to do. She had been waiting for the latest arc to be completed before she started on it. Finally, after months of waiting, she was ready to watch it. However, before the download was completed, there was a knock at her door. Miyeon and Minnie burst in and promptly announced that she would be joining them for a girls’ night out.

At first, Minnie had told her that Yuqi was meeting them at the restaurant, and she didn’t want to be a third wheel. Out of the goodness of her heart, she conceded and apologised to her computer that was still struggling to download the episodes. However, as they were leaving, Yuqi apparently messaged Minnie and cancelled on them because she wasn’t feeling well. Soyeon had argued that she didn’t want to intrude on their date, but they didn’t accept her backing out. Instead, Minnie said that the plans had been changed to cheering Yuqi up after dinner. She’d already dressed up, so she decided to go along with it reluctantly. Although, she had to admit that despite her protests about being a third wheel, neither girl had given her a chance to feel left out over the entire course of the evening.

Still, it was a Saturday night, they shouldn’t be trespassing and barging into Yuqi’s dorm uninvited. She wouldn’t even do that to Miyeon.

Yuqi could have had friends over, or a date. Although she didn’t want to entertain the latter thought. Especially not when she had been forcefully dressed into a black dress which, affording to Minnie and Miyeon, would show off her figure, and poised directly in front of the door with her hand raised. She felt like a sacrificial lamb, except she was far from a sheep.

She glanced to the corner where the couple was hiding indiscreetly. They looked so suspicious. If any student were to open their doors at that moment, all of them would be in trouble.

This is a terrible idea, she repeated in her head.

“Just do it! We’re right here!” Miyeon called out in a hushed voice.

“Yes, we’ll back you up, don’t worry!” Minnie chimed in.

It didn’t help, but she felt the wooden door scrape against her knuckles as she knocked softly.

“That wasn’t a knock, that was an accident!” She turned to glare at whichever one of them said that.

“If you’re not satisfied, do it yourself!” She hissed back. In a flash, Minnie was by her side, rapping against the door in her own rhythmic fashion.

“What if she’s not home?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s Yuqi. Of course, she’s home.” Minnie’s laugh was fleeting, but her confidence was steadfast and it was all Soyeon had to rely on, so she did.

There was a cluttered noise before she heard heavy stomping that got louder with each step nearer to the door. Unconsciously, she took a step back, only to find that Miyeon had been standing right behind her, a solid force that prevented her from escaping.

When did she get so strong? Soyeon wondered to herself. It must have been all the cables she carried back and forth.

The footsteps stopped right in front of the door. Yuqi was listening, probably. It was as if Minnie read her mind, because the next thing she knew, the taller brunette was yelling at the door. “Song Yuqi, open up loser!”

The door seemingly burst open, causing her to jerk back against Miyeon’s hold. However, Minnie didn’t even flinch. She either had nerves of steel or she was too used to this kind of behaviour. Both were causes for concern. However, they weren’t as concerning as the stormy expression on Yuqi’s face.

Soyeon hadn’t really seen Yuqi when she was angry but she assumed this was pretty close. However, it vanished when Yuqi’s gaze fell upon her. “Ah-hi?”

The freshman leaned against the door, looking just a bit embarrassed, but not displeased, and Soyeon felt the pressure against her heart lift a bit.

“Hi......” She bit her lip. Yuqi was wearing her pyjamas. She probably didn’t have any guests over, unless they were having a pyjama party. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask.

“Is this a bad time?”

“Nonsense! This girl had no plans anyway.” As if they needed a reminder that she was present, Minnie all the drinks and snacks they had carried over into Yuqi’s arms and the weight threw the startled freshman a few steps back. The newly created space between her and door frame allowed Miyeon and her entry. However, Soyeon stayed put, her eyes trained on the unsuspecting host.

Soyeon felt guilty for intruding, and it was her first time coming to Yuqi’s dorm. It was only polite to wait for her to be granted permission before she went in. Her parents raised her that way.

She also didn’t miss the way the freshman gave her outfit a once-over. It was definitely a different choice of clothes as compared to what she would usually wear. Hence, she expected to be asked about the occasion that warranted her attire, but instead, Yuqi just shot her question bluntly. “What happened to your date?”

Wait, what?

“What date?” She asked. The younger girl frowned, looking at her rather suspiciously. “But Minnie-“

“Yuqi-ah! Stop flirting with Soyeon unnie and let her in.”

“I’m not- I haven’t even-“ Yuqi looked so exasperated that Soyeon felt sorry for her. It was an amusing sight; she probably had yet to process everything that had just happened within the last 2 minutes. She hid her snicker behind her hand but Yuqi gave her a smile that made her realise that she wasn’t really upset.

“Unnie, please come in before they start using their imaginations.” She stepped aside, as if allowing her to enter; but it looked more like Yuqi shuffling the bags and trying not to drop any of them. She stretched out her hands to offer to hold some of the bags, but Yuqi shook her head and signalled for her to go ahead. “Okay, sorry for the intrusion.”

“No we’re not. She should be thanking us for intruding.” Again, Minnie called out from inside. The DJ made her way into the room where the other two had already made themselves comfortable. Sprawled over what she presumed was Yuqi’s bed, Minnie looked as though she was the one who lived there. Miyeon was perched comfortably on the edge of the bed, but her posture was also relaxed.

There was a silent conversation between Miyeon and Minnie as Soyeon approached them, Yuqi following behind. A few seconds later, Minnie spoke in a pitiful voice. “Aww unnie, we got here too late, she was already halfway done with the first tub of ice cream.”

The ice cream in Minnie’s hand was already partially melted, so it was painfully obvious that it had been sitting outside for a while. Soyeon turned to their host, who seemed to need a moment to collect herself. The Thai girl shook her head and covered the tub before it could melt even further in front of them. She brought the tub, as well as a fuming Yuqi to the kitchen, and called out to them to pick a movie.

They were probably going to take a while. Minnie probably had some explaining to do.

Miyeon seemed to sense her apprehension, because she shifted towards the middle of the bed and glanced to the spot next to her.

“Are you feeling okay?” She whispered. Miyeon’s strong and warm grip on her hand soothed her worries. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and nodded, returning Miyeon’s squeeze. She was glad that it was one of her closest unnies by her side, or she would have probably never gone along with something like this.

“It’s okay to be nervous, but Minnie knows Yuqi well.” Soyeon had to agree. Considering the lengths that Yuqi had gone to seek revenge for her friend, she trusted that they would have their own ways of dealing with situations.

“And if it doesn’t work out, there’s always alcohol to act as a conversation starter.” The fourth year pointed towards the kitchen flippantly. Soyeon gave her a disbelieving stare. For someone who couldn't handle alcohol, she was very intent on consuming it.

“Unnie, do you not remember what happened the last few times we drank?” Her stare dared Miyeon to refute her claim. The older girl acquiesced.

“It wasn’t that much...” She tried to add, but put up her hands in surrender when Soyeon narrowed her eyes at her again. This was something she couldn’t argue with. Not after what Soyeon had gone through to bring her home.

“Yes, it wasn’t that much, but you were able to laugh so hard that you were gasping for breath.” Soyeon reminded her. “I can’t imagine what people would have thought if we weren’t in a coin karaoke booth.”

“Most of the customers at the time were drunk anyway.” Miyeon tried to defend, but she couldn’t hide her blush. Soyeon shrugged. Thankfully, they hadn’t been too ambitious; they had simply ordered a bottle each to get them in the mood for karaoke, or she would not have been nearly as coherent.

Soyeon remembered hauling a giggling Miyeon down the narrow and sticky staircase and onto the street, past the bars with servers yelling out to potential customers, avoiding any drunken passer-by’s, until they made it to the station. She wasn't wrong. Everyone had been drunk, but Miyeon was blissfully unaware of the fear driven adrenaline that powered Soyeon to pull her safely through the crowd.

Soyeon wished she had taken more pictures for evidence, but she was more concerned with making sure she didn’t knock the taller girl’s limbs against the corners. There was something dangerous about the way Seoul became once all the patrons got drunk, and inhibitions disappeared due to alcohol.

The older girl had decidedly forgotten most of what happened after the first few soju shots. Soyeon wasn’t as lucky. She finished hers as well as the remaining soju that Miyeon was too tipsy to drink. She was lightly buzzed but she could still think and walk, unlike her senior.

Altogether, it was an unexpected situation for her to be in. Especially since at the time, the two of them weren’t particularly close. Miyeon was just the kind senior who suggested for her to use the studio, and came by semi regularly to use the place to study. Other than small talk and menial conversations about school, they mostly did their own work and didn’t bother one another.

However, after this particular incident, it was as if she had passed some sort of test, because there was a distinctive difference in the level of familiarity that Miyeon treated her with. Despite her position and talents, the senior didn't have many close friends, she realised. So, they naturally became rather close. Miyeon’s laughs were less restrained, her jabs were more purposeful, and the younger girl found herself on the receiving end of her hugs.

She wouldn’t have done anything differently, but the incident made her more wary of Miyeon’s tolerance to alcohol. However, the older girl seemed quite determined to follow through with the plans and she had Minnie, so they should be fine. At least, that was what Soyeon was hoping.

Miyeon wanted a double date; Minnie wanted to cheer up her best friend. Soyeon, however, just wanted to survive the night without mishap.

Was that too much to ask?

~~~

Apparently, the answer to her question was “Yes”.

Minnie’s eyes widened when a giggle spurted from Miyeon.

She shot Soyeon and Yuqi a glance, which Soyeon shrugged in response to. The two freshman tried to stifle their laughter, but Yuqi was more successful than Minnie. Miyeon drunkenly shushed her and placed a finger over her lips. She didn’t realise that Minnie’s silence was more due to shock than compliance. However, the latter kept shut, despite the redness colouring her cheeks. Soyeon took a sip from her own bottle without comment. She already knew what would happen once Miyeon drank.

Minnie had to bite down on her lip to keep herself from laughing at Miyeon again. As the night went on, the movie kept getting more funny, only to Miyeon. Until it came to a point where they couldn’t get past a 3 minute mark without her bursting into unrestrained laughter.

When the main character’s partner was killed saving them in the of the movie, and Miyeon still managed to crack up, Minnie asked to stop the movie, citing the reason that her eyes were tired. Everyone but Miyeon knew better.

The uncapped bottles and empty bags of chips left on the floor irked her. She didn’t like leaving a mess in someone else’s room. Her own, though, was another story.

Seeing as she was the most sober out of everyone in the room, she gathered up the bottles and bundled them in her arms. Minnie was still directing words in English and Korean, and some Thai, towards Yuqi. She didn’t even blink when Soyeon removed the empty bottles from the table in front of her.

She made her way to what she supposed was the kitchen and rinsed them for recycling. The movement and water hitting her hands helped her to concentrate and sober up a little. At the end of it, the alcohol hadn’t really helped the situation. Yuqi and her hadn’t really interacted much, unlike what Miyeon and Minnie had probably planned. She knew that the girls meant them no disbenefit; adding alcohol was always a risk, but now she knew that the younger girl’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t as high as hers. She would have to watch Yuqi’s limit as well, if this were to happen again. She couldn't believe she was actually thinking of doing this again.

Soyeon looked down at the glass she was scrubbing. She was partly surprised at how thorough she was being. Maybe alcohol made her perfectionist side come out even more. By the time she was done, the wrappers and rubbish were tied up in bags, which were neatly left in the corner of the trash bin. She told herself that she would throw it on her way out if she remembered to bring them with her.

She returned to the group, wondering if anyone was sober enough to notice her disappearance. Although after remembering the state that she left them in, she deduced that it was a foolish assumption to make. She brought a glass of water with her in case one of them needed to sober up.

Now that there were less distractions, Soyeon peered at the couple lying in front of her. From what she could tell, the older girl had drunk slightly more than what she had consumed the previous time. Miyeon’s flushed cheeks were a deep contrast to her fair skin. She was already half sprawled over Minnie, and the latter was lying on her belly and cuddling a pillow under her chin. Minnie was still talking, presumably to her and Yuqi, but Miyeon had been reduced to incoherent mumbles a while back. Unbeknownst to Minnie, however, Yuqi seemed to have fallen asleep sitting upright.

She must have been knocked out by the ice cream and alcohol, Soyeon assumed. That was always a bad combo. In fact, she was surprised Yuqi hadn’t made a trip to the washroom throughout their attempt to watch the movie. Her stomach was probably made of steel.

Her brain faintly registered that Minnie was still talking, when the other girl poked her arm petulantly. Minnie seemed to be asking for her opinion, so she nodded in agreement to whatever she was saying, and the freshman was placated enough to prattle on.

Minnie definitely wasn’t sober enough to be paying attention to her surroundings, so Soyeon was free to watch her co-host’s expression as she slept. Yuqi was cuddling a stuffed giraffe to her chest; her chin resting on the head of the stuffed toy. Her brown hair hung over her shoulders like a pair of curtains framing the sides of her cheeks. Without the smirk and childish remarks, Yuqi looked almost enchantingly angelic.

The DJ looked at her phone screen. She wondered if the campus buses would still be running since it was a Saturday evening. She didn’t bother trying to wake the fourth year. The moment Minnie took on the challenge to finish Miyeon’s drink, Soyeon figured that the couple would be staying over in the dorm. Neither were in any shape to walk, much less make it to their own homes.

When she glanced up again, Yuqi’s eyes were open.

Yuqi blinked a couple of times and glanced about the room. Soyeon wondered if she even realised that time had passed since she fell asleep. The likelihood that she had a mini blackout was quite high.

Her gaze flirted by Soyeon and settled on the empty table as she took in her surroundings. All of a sudden, she was standing. Bad decision, Soyeon thought. She could see the quiver in her knees when her body was forced to carry her weight. Instinctively, Soyeon placed her phone on the table and followed her. She looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. True enough, Yuqi barely made it a few uncoordinated steps before her legs started to give in.

The older girl saw the signs and thankfully, reached her in a few strides. Soyeon bit her lip to prevent a groan from escaping. Yuqi wasn’t exactly dead weight, but holding her body up put considerable strain on her own.

“Song Yuqi. Are you awake?” The girl flopped against her, half unconscious, and Soyeon made a move towards the bed.

“Are you okay? I don’t think you should be walking right now.” She couldn’t hide her relief when Yuqi blinked again, wearily. She placed the back of her free hand against her forehead, checking her temperature. She didn’t think anyone would catch a fever from drinking unless their body couldn’t physically handle alcohol. It was highly unlikely that Yuqi was one of those people but if she passed out, she might have to call an ambulance or bring her to a clinic to be safe.

“I need...” Soyeon turned her focus back to the girl in her arms. Yuqi ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “Uhm....”

Was Yuqi looking at her lips?

The DJ was distracted. She couldn’t distinguish whether the feeling rising within her was annoyance or confusion, or something completely different. Yuqi really needed to stop looking at her like that. It was affecting her ability to think.

She had to do something. Guiding a disorientated Yuqi to sit on the bed, she grabbed the glass of water and shoved it towards her face.

“Water?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound as nervous as she was. She didn’t expect Yuqi’s eyes to light up the way they did, and for her to emit such happiness that Soyeon felt like she had just handed Yuqi her heart’s desire.

“I knew you were a genius, but a mind reader too? I would marry you right now if I could.”

What?

The younger girl was guzzling down the water so she couldn’t see Soyeon picking her jaw up from the ground. The DJ wondered if she was the one who was dreaming now. She had no idea how to respond.

When she realised that Yuqi wasn’t choking and panicking, it quickly occurred to her that she may not have realised that she verbalised her thoughts. Instead of contributing to her possible mortification and backtracking, Soyeon made a split second decision to pretend that the past few seconds didn’t happen. She cleared .

“Feeling a bit better now?”

“Mm.” Came the satisfied response. Yuqi’s eyes were closed for a moment in absolute bliss. Soyeon admired how she was able to be so calm.

The cup that had been full a few seconds ago was now empty. She waited for Yuqi to pay attention before she glanced towards the direction that Yuqi had been heading. The girl followed her gaze obediently, and answered her unspoken question.

“There’s uh, spare futon blankets in the closet.”

Oh. That made sense.

Some part of Soyeon’s heart felt a bit warmer to know that even when Yuqi wasn’t feeling her best, she thought of her friends.

“Okay, I’ll get them. Just stay here and direct me to them.” Yuqi looked like she wanted to protest. However, it seemed like Soyeon still had some level of authority over her because Yuqi immediately sat back down obediently when she glared at her.

“Bottom drawer...to the left.” She followed her directions, and found what she was looking for relatively easily. She couldn’t understand the dazed look of wonderment that Yuqi had when she returned, but she didn’t want to ask. Instead, she directed the girl’s focus to the sleeping pair in front of them.

She was definitely not strong enough to be lifting both girls on her own. She needed Yuqi’s help before she fell asleep again. Yuqi automatically stood up and came to the
When they were done, Soyeon finally allowed herself some respite and sat down beside Yuqi on her bed. It was comfortable.

“Wow, Miyeon unnie is a lot heavier than she looks.” She thought out loud. “It’s probably because she has a koala stuck to her side.” The imagery didn’t suit Soyeon’s idea of Minnie but it was rather amusing.

“It’s cute...somewhat.” She tried to defend her friend, albeit weakly. She hadn’t seen Miyeon interact like this with anyone, even the other boys in her classes.

“In a parasite kind of way.” Soyeon smiled at that. She doubted the senior would be calling pest control anytime soon.

The door clicked open and beams of light flooded the dim room from the glaring lights in the hallway. Suddenly her eyes hurt from the brightness. Soyeon became aware of how all of them had functioned normally without turning on the main lights in the room. There was a jangle for keys as a figure stepped into the room and blocked the light, to Soyeon’s relief.

“Jjinjin-ah, I’ve just reached home... Okay, I’ll text you later.” Soyeon raised her eyebrows. The accent, the familiar nickname...

What were the chances of Soojin’s girlfriend also being Yuqi’s roommate?

She squinted, trying to get a better glimpse of the girl who had just entered the room. She hadn’t taken paid too much attention to her looks when she ran past her in the library. She had youngish features and mannerisms that made her seem younger than Yuqi.

“Yuqi-ah, I’m back!” There was a clunk as she threw her bag down. Soyeon glanced Yuqi, almost praying that she would let her name slip. She made a beeline for the washroom but suddenly froze in her tracks when she walked past the kitchen. The tall girl whipped around, her black hair flying in response to the movement.

“Song Yuqi! You had a drinking party without me?!” Her accusatory haze was rapt on Yuqi, who shrugged.

“There weren’t that many drinks and it was definitely not a party.”

“And you didn’t even leave a little...” The other girl continued, unperturbed by Yuqi’s response. She was definitely an interesting character. She understood why Soojin described her as her direct opposite.

“Nevermind, I’m too tired to deal with this. I’ll deal with you tomorrow.” Even without looking, Soyeon could almost feel the eye roll that Yuqi was sending her roommate. Then, that sharp gaze was on her. Soyeon straightened her back. She didn’t know if Soojin had told her girlfriend about her, but she was certain that she wouldn’t know who she was.

“Hello Yuqi’s friend. Thank you for taking care of her even though she’s a burdensome idiot.” Slightly relieved, Soyeon felt the grin on her face before she even replied.

“Oh surprisingly, she wasn’t that much of a problem today. We’ll see about next week though.” She peeked at Yuqi’s expression to make sure the other girl knew she was joking.

“HEY! Both of you... I shouldn’t have allowed you two to meet.”

“I like her. Invite her for dinner with us next time.” Her tone left no room for argument, but Yuqi pretended to defy her. Their mannerism were like a pair squabbling children on the playground. It was amusing to watch them interact.

Yuqi and her roommate had a very unusual relationship. Then again, it seemed like her relationship with everyone was rather distinctive. The more sides of Yuqi she discovered, the more she wanted to learn about her.

The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds until they heard the generator hum and water being released in a spray. Thinking about taking a warm shower reminded Soyeon that she was still in her dress and she should make her way to her own dorm while she still had the presence of mind to do so.

“Well, now that everything’s settled, I should probably get going so you can get some rest.” “Oh? You’re not staying over?” Yuqi actually sounded disappointed. The knowledge that her presence would be missed, made her feel just a bit happier. Maybe the night was more successful than she had thought. It was a pity Minnie and Miyeon were dead to the world and couldn’t revel in their success. Yet, she was happy that this was something she didn’t have to share with them.

As if to make her point, she looked pointedly around the room. “Yuqi-ah, there’s nowhere for me to sleep. Besides, my dorm isn’t that far from here.”

“Still, it’s not safe to be walking around alone so late...” She was looking down and away from her, so Soyeon barely caught the word “dress” at the tail end of her sentence.

“Eh? What about the dress?” She was confused. She didn’t think that there was a problem with her outfit. If there was a flaw or something was out of place, no one had commented on it earlier. Unless she had accidentally spilled alcohol on it. She checked her dress to make sure.

“Uh...” She paused to look at Yuqi. She seemed nervous and fidgety, unlike how she usually was. Soyeon waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to use it to its full potential since your evening was cut short... I mean you ended up here after all.”

“Oh... I don’t think that’s a bad thing; quite the opposite, actually.” She responded with a smile. She was relieved that it wasn't something that serious. Soyeon wasn’t sure why Yuqi appeared so unsure. She wasn’t dragged to the dorm against her will, nor was she unhappy about spending time with all of them either. In fact, her Saturday evening had been quite enjoyable.

She was reminded of what Minnie had told her before they left for the restaurant. Perhaps that was why she was so insecure about having them over.

“I hope you’re feeling better though. Minnie told me that you were supposed to join us for dinner, but you were having a stressful week so you couldn’t make it.”

There was a momentary irritation that passed over Yuqi’s face and Soyeon felt guilty for repeating something that Minnie probably revealed without Yuqi’s permission. However, the cloud passed and Soyeon wondered again whether she had done anything wrong. The other girl was quick to forgive, so she didn't think asking her would be of any clarification. Trying not to make matters worse, she crossed over to the door, Yuqi following.

It took a couple of seconds for her eyes to get used to the light in the hallway. Now that she could feel the difference, she had no idea how they managed to function in the dark for such a long amount of time. They had turned off the lights for the movie but they must have been so out of it that they forgot about turning on the lights afterwards.

She heard a floorboard squeak and she remembered Yuqi was still there. She wasn’t drunk enough to forget her manners.

“Thank you for letting us come over tonight, and sorry about ruining your plans.”

The younger girl shook her head. There was a half-smile on her lips that made Soyeon feel lighter. She wanted to see more of the different smiles that Yuqi had.

“No, Minnie was right. You coming over actually made my night a lot better. So thank you, unnie.” She wouldn’t have guessed that all it would take for her to fall even further for Yuqi was a single statement. Soyeon returned her grin without restraint.

“I’ll uhm... I’ll see you at school then?”

“Yes. Have a good rest.” She thanked her one last time before she turned to walk down the hallway, away from the girl who was constantly making her question her emotions. “Let me know when you’re home!” She heard the younger girl call out. Smiling to herself, she answered her placatingly as she stepped towards the end of the hallway.

Yuqi must have gotten inspired by her roommate, she thought. Thinking about the fair girl reminded her of Soojin, and about a conversation they had a while back. Soojin was the only one who knew about the restlessness she was feeling. They’d talked about it over iced americanos once. She had asked about her relationship and what went through her mind in the beginning.

“Whatever decision you make will affect both of you. There’s no running away from the risk of rejection. Take your time; there’s no rush. But if you feel that she’s worth developing something with, then you have nothing to lose by letting her know that you’re interested.”

Soyeon stopped just a few feet away from the corner. A more steps and she would be hidden from Yuqi’s sight. She would be safe to think and process what was going through her mind. She wasn't drunk, but the alcohol had given her courage that she wouldn't usually have. She wanted to leave and forget about the entire matter, but if she left now, she knew that she would lose her nerve and miss the chance entirely.

In a few hours, the night would become just a dream for Yuqi and a buried memory for her. Part of her thought that it wouldn't be so bad if she were to let it happen. If Yuqi meant what she said, she would tell her eventually, maybe before she graduated. If she didn't, then it wasn’t meant to be, and she would have to accept it.

Yet, she couldn’t deny that the past few weeks felt like things between them had been slowly leading up to this point. All the afternoons they spent together, talking about aspirations, ideas and everything in between. It was personal conversation and not something that she would be able to do with just anyone. She wasn't sure about Yuqi though.

Despite how much experience and knowledge she had gained over time, she hadn’t gotten better at interpreting her actions or emotions. After all, there was no conceivable reason for someone as amazing as Yuqi to be interested in someone like her. The freshman hadn’t been a regular on the show for more than a few months but she had already been warmly accepted by both the audience and everyone in the studio. If anything, she would only get more popular once people started to recognise her. However, despite all of those factors, Yuqi’s Freudian slip was making her reconsider the connotations that she had previously dismissed. Maybe there really was a chance that her crush had at least some feelings for her.

“Unnie?”

If Soojin was right, she had nothing to lose. Giving Yuqi a hint that she was interested wasn't exactly a confession. It still left room for her friendship to be salvaged in the event that it went badly. If it went badly, however… Well, she didn’t want to think about how awkward it was going to be.

She couldn’t predict the future. She would just have to handle the situation, as she always did.

After a moment of silence where she deliberated her options, she was starting to feel Yuqi‘s anxiety becoming more palpable, even with her back turned towards her. If she wanted to say something, she had better do it before she changed her mind. In a split second, she made her decision. There was no going back from it.

“Yuqi-ah, just saying, but if you’re going to propose to me, you should do it without the alcohol next time.”

Before she knew what was happening, her legs were moving. It was just as well, because the moment the words left her lips, she wanted to run and hide in embarrassment. She had never expected that she would actually get the words out.

The next time she was able to catch her breath was when she was on the bus back towards her dormitory. She laid her head back against the seat.

She’d probably made the biggest mistake of her life.

~~~