He still remembered the first time he heard it. It was on the radio. Him and his family were in the car, going up to Seoul. He was fifteen years old and he was starting to get into music.

The second time he heard it, he was eighteen. He was in a bookshop with Namjoon, searching for a book the older had told him about. He recognised the music and turned to Namjoon who was bobbing his head to the music.

“Hyung, do you know this song?” Jimin asked him.

“Of course! That’s Lady Gaga’s Born This Way. Why?”

“Oh, I just like it and wanted to know what was the title.” Jimin simply answered, resuming on searching for the book. “Here it is, hyung!”

When he went home that day, he downloaded the song and searched for the lyrics’ translation. He liked the message it conveyed, that God made us like this and that we’re perfect as we are. Jimin was a bit insecure about his appearance but listening to this song helped him to accept himself.

When Jimin entered university, he made a couple new friends. Of course he still had his best friends Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung but he also became friends with Hoseok's boyfriend, Yoongi, and the latter’s friends Seokjin and Jungkook. They all became close quickly and began to hang out altogether at every possible chance.

Well, Jimin was very conflicted about his uality. He was sure he wasn’t gay but he also knew he wasn’t completely straight but he wasn’t out to his friends, even Taehyung, even though he knew they would accept him no matter what. Jimin thought it was probably a phase and the fact that he didn’t like his first time was probably because he was very inexperienced, just like his partner.

But halfway through his first year of university, something changed. His friendship with Jungkook changed a lot. They were very friendly and did talk a lot but it never was too personal. One evening, Hoseok had sent Jungkook to fetch him from dance practice because he couldn’t. The campus was very big and Jimin’s dance class usually ended pretty late and it was a long walk to the dorms. Since Jimin didn’t like darkness and didn’t want to walk alone on the empty campus, he was glad Jungkook had agreed.

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Jungkook asked as he arrived.

He wasn’t wearing his hair down, not like Jimin had expected him, but had instead a little ponytail on the top of his head. Now, Jimin knew Jungkook was very handsome but like this, he looked so cute and soft. He was also smiling sweetly at him and it made Jimin feel a bit weird in his stomach. He ignored the feeling and smiled back.

“No, I just came out. I’m sorry for bothering you, by the way.” Jimin apologised as they began to walk towards the dorm.

“Don’t mention it, hyung. You’re never a bother.” Jungkook replied, giggling. He then took Jimin’s bag from his hands and threw it over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to-” Jimin began but Jungkook cut him.

“I want to.” Jungkook replied, looking straight into Jimin’s eyes.

Jimin tried not to notice how his big eyes were sparkling, how pink his lips were and how good he smelled.

“Thanks.”

“How was your class?”

They spent the whole walk to the dorms talking about classes, as always, but when Jungkook wished him a good night, Jimin felt that they had become a bit closer.

After this, more often than not, Jungkook came to walk Jimin to the dorms, beginning to talk about more personal stuffs. Jungkook told Jimin why he had chosen photography as a major. Jimin was surprised to discover that, initially, Jungkook wanted to major in singing because he knew he could piss his parents off by doing so but, after really thinking about it and discovering photography, he had decided to become a photographer. Luckily for him, it still pissed his parents off. Jimin on the other side told him all about his love for dancing. That he had discovered dance in middle school through contemporary, that at first, he just did it for fun and to build his body a little too. But after three years, his dance teacher told him that it would be a great idea to major in it. Jimin thought about it, talked with his friends and his parents and decided to go for it. A couple years later, he was studying to become a contemporary dance teacher and he couldn’t be happier.

Over the span of two weeks, Jimin and Jungkook had become very close, to the point that sometimes they hung out only the two of them without the others. They both liked to hang out at night so they met at the nearest convenience store on campus and spent a couple of hours there, eating and talking. One night as they were walking back to the dorms, Jungkook asked about Jimin’s love life.

“Hyung, are you in a relationship?”

Jimin hadn’t expected this question. He had never talked about it with anyone beside Taehyung so it was very new so he took some time before replying.

“No, I’m not. Why are you asking?”

“I was just curious. You’re too pretty to be alone to be honest.” Jungkook simply answered.

“Thanks.” Jimin answered, feeling his face burning. He was glad it was night time.

“Aren’t you curious about me? I’m hurt.” Jungkook .

“T-that’s not it! I don’t know if you’re comfortable to talk about it.”

“Well, you were. Why wouldn’t I be?” Jungkook asked, making Jimin smile.

“Well, are you in a relationship, Jungkook-ah?”

“No. I broke up with my boyfriend just before the year began.” Jungkook answered.

“Your boyfriend?” Jimin asked, surprised.

“Yes. I’m gay. You didn’t know?”

Jimin shook his head. He didn’t know how to process this information. He wasn’t shocked because their friends were all part of the LGBTQ+ community. He didn’t know why he never thought Jungkook could be part of it too.

“Is it a problem?” Jungkook asked, worry evident in his voice.

“N-no, of course not. It’s just…” Jimin trailed, not knowing what to say next.

“I don’t look like it?” Jungkook suggested, a little smile on his lips.

“I guess…” Jimin answered, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes.

“It’s okay. Tae told me the same thing when I told him.” Jungkook stated, giggling.

“You told Tae?” Jimin asked, looking at Jungkook.

“Yeah. Everyone knows.” Jungkook replied. Jimin felt left out at that and apparently it showed because Jungkook put a hand on his arm. “I didn’t want to hide it from you, you know. They asked and I answered.”

“It’s okay, Jungkook.” Jimin replied, shaking Jungkook’s hand off his arm. His touch made him feel weird, he didn’t like this feeling.

Jimin noticed they had arrived to the dorms so he stopped walking and turned to Jungkook.

“It was great hanging out with you, Jungkook. Good night.” He said and almost ran to his room, not giving a chance to Jungkook to answer.

The next day, Jimin did his best to avoid Jungkook, deciding to eat lunch alone even though he hated eating alone. He didn’t know why he avoided him, he just felt like he had to. He knew Jungkook would feel hurt and the others would ask him questions but he would deal with everything later. He even texted Hoseok to come fetch him from dance instead Jungkook which he agreed to without asking anything.

“Hey, Jiminie. Wassup?” Hoseok greeted him.

“I’m so tired I think I’m gonna pass out.” Jimin replied, immediately beginning to walk.

“You know, everyone looked for you today. Where were you?”

“I had to practice on my own because of the exams and I didn’t want to be distracted. But I ate, don’t worry.”

“Jungkook was sad that you asked for me. Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. I just missed you, that’s all.”

“That’s sweet but I know you’re lying. I don’t know you as well as Tae does but I still know you pretty well. You’re not looking at me and you keep on biting your lips, like you do every time you’re lying.”

“Seok…” Jimin began but Hoseok cut him.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me but at least talk to Tae or Jungkook. Whatever you’re trying to do is not good for you or the people around you.” Hoseok said, a warm smile on his lips.

The next day, Jimin still avoided Jungkook. At the end of the day, Taehyung entered their dorm and sat him down on the couch to talk.

“Min-ah, we need to talk. There’s something going on between you and Jungkook and he’s not telling me what. So, you have to tell me so I can help you.”

“Tae... there’s nothing going on between me and Jungkook.” Jimin replied.

“Do you really think I’m gonna believe you? Or give up like Hoseok did? You don’t avoid someone for two whole days if there’s nothing. What happened? Did you fight?”

Jimin deeply sighed, taking his head between his hands.

“We didn’t fight. I wish we had to be honest. I’m just... I don’t know.” Jimin began, his voice cracking.

“What? You have to tell me if you want me to help.” Taehyung said, taking Jimin’s hand.

“It’s sickening. I’m a horrible person Tae. Jungkook... he told me he was gay. We were talking and he casually told me he was gay. And now I’m avoiding him.” Jimin explained, tears welling up in his eyes.

“But... why? That’s not something you’d do. I am gay and you’re not avoiding me. I’m no different from Jungkook.”

“I don’t know either. I just don’t trust myself to face him.” Jimin answered, tears slowly falling.

“Min-ah... Are you by chance attracted to men too?” Taehyung asked.

“No!” Jimin immediately replied, startling Taehyung.

“I’m straight, Tae. You know that. I-I like girls.”

“Jimin, there’s no problem with being gay. Or bi for that matter.”

“But I can’t like boys! It’s–”

“Unnatural? Disgusting?” Taehyung cut him. “You don’t mean that. You know that’s not true.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just... Jungkook doesn’t look like it, no matter how stupid it sounds. I know I shouldn’t have been but I was shocked when he told me. And after all of you… It felt like betrayal in a way to be the last to know about it.”

“But you can’t blame anyone about the fact that no one told you. First of all, it wasn’t our place to tell you about something so personal. Secondly, you never asked so there was no reason for him to tell you. Now, I notice something else. Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong but you find Jungkook very attractive, right?” Taehyung asked and Jimin slowly nodded. “But because you’re straight you tried to ignore how handsome he looked or the way he sometimes made you feel.”

“But that doesn’t mean a thing–”

“You have a crush on Jungkook. Putting aside uality and gender, you have a crush on a human being named Jungkook.”

“A crush? On Jungkook?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so, Tae. It’s not possible.”

“And why is that?”

“Because Jungkook is my friend. And I can’t have a crush on a friend. The fact that he makes my heart flutter is no proof at all.” Jimin stated.

A beat passed.

“You’re seriously so stupid. You just said it. He makes your heart flutter.”

“I hate you.” Jimin said, hiding his face in his hands.

Taehyung leaned to hug Jimin.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You seem to have some internalised homophobia so I suggest you deal with it first. We can talk more if you want.”

“Yes, please.”

 

During his talks with Taehyung, Jimin began to accept a little more his feelings for Jungkook and his uality – though he still avoided Jungkook. One night, he got lost on YouTube and found a lyrics video of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way. He remembered the song, listened to it and went to look at the translation once again. It was of big help for him every time he felt uneasy about his uality he listened to the song and immediately felt better. Some weeks later, he met Hoseok in front of the dance building so he could walk him to the dorms.

“How have you been Jimin? I heard Taehyung’s been fetching you these past weeks.” Hoseok said as they began to walk.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to bother you and I was having kind of a hard time.” Jimin replied.

“I’m sad to hear that. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes… Actually, I wanted to talk to you about it. I kind of discovered that I’m biual.” Jimin admitted.

Hoseok stayed silent for a couple of seconds before hugging Jimin.

“I’m happy for you Jimin. You’re so brave.” Hoseok said, his voice trembling a little. “I’m glad you talked to someone and even more that you went to Taehyung.”

Jimin hugged him back, feeling a rush of affection for his friend.

“Thanks, hyung. I love you.”

They let go of each other and resumed on walking.

“There’s something else I need to tell you.” Jimin said, looking at Hoseok who nodded, urging him to go on. “I like Jungkook too. That’s how I discovered I was biual in fact. I just wanted to tell you first.” He added and Hoseok smiled widely.

“That’s awesome, Jiminie. Actually, I was kind of expecting it to be totally honest. Jungkook is a great guy. Do you plan on telling him soon?” Hoseok asked, beginning to feel excited.

“I’m not very sure… I don’t want to affect our relationship, between us or with you guys. If it’s not mutual, it could affect my friendship with Jungkook. If, on the contrary, it is mutual but we break up at some point, it could affect our group of friends. So I don’t know if I should confess or not.” Jimin explained.

“I totally understand but I think you should still confess. You know, Jungkook isn’t the type of person to stop being friend with you just because you have a crush on him and he doesn’t. Let me tell you a secret but you have to promise you won’t tell anyone, okay?”

“I promise.”

“Jungkook used to have a crush on Namjoon.”

“Really?!” Jimin exclaimed, truly surprised.

“It only lasted a week or two and they stayed friends even after Jungkook confessed.”

“But why did he confess? He knew that Namjoon had a crush on Seokjin, right?”

“I don’t know, Min. But that’s not what matters. The thing is, he told Namjoon how he felt and now they’re still friends. Do you really think Jungkook would stop being your friend if you confessed and he didn’t return your feelings?”

Jimin thought about it for a moment. Jungkook was the sweetest person Jimin had ever met. Always putting other people before him and nothing mattered more to him than friends and family. He couldn’t picture Jungkook distancing himself from him just because he didn’t return his feelings.

“Jungkook isn’t that kind of person. I know he wouldn’t do that. But I’m still scared.” Jimin admitted.

“I know. Look, think thoroughly about it, talk it out with Taehyung if you need to and when you’ve made a choice, tell me, okay?”

“Thanks, Seok.”

“Anytime, Min.”

They had arrived in front of Jimin’s room without knowing it as they were too absorbed in their conversation.

“Go to sleep, we’ll see each other tomorrow.” Hoseok said, hugging Jimin.

“Seeya~”

 

The next day

“Tae, I’m going to throw up.” Jimin said as they were nearing the cafeteria.

“No you’re not. We talked about it, you’re gonna go get your man so that we can finally live in peace. Oh, have you sent a text to Seok?” Jimin nodded and they entered the cafeteria, heading towards their usual table.

“Look who’s back!” Seokjin exclaimed, pointing at the two friends. Of course, he was talking about Jimin, not Taehyung.

They slowly sat down around the table, Taehyung making sure Jimin would be sitting in front of Jungkook. They didn’t dare look at each other and it kind of broke Jimin’s heart to see Jungkook sad and uncomfortable around him.

“We missed you, Jimin-ah.” Namjoon said, smiling sweetly at his friend.

“Yeah, we really did.” Yoongi added.

“I missed you too, guys. I’m sorry.” Jimin said with a little voice.

“Where have you been all this time?” Asked Seokjin.

“Um, I had to be alone for some time. Sort some things out, you know?” Jimin said, glancing towards Jungkook.

Yoongi noticed and lightly smiled to himself. Just then, Hoseok arrived and sat next to hi boyfriend, looking intently at Jimin.

“I hope you’re doing better now.” Jungkook softly said, not looking at Jimin. The latter was so surprised to hear the taller’s voice that it took him a couple of seconds to reply.

“Yeah, I-I am. Thanks.”

“Aren’t you going to eat, Jiminie?” Seokjin asked. “You know that’s not healthy.” He nagged.

"I’m not hungry. Seriously. I just came to see y’all because I missed you.” Jimin replied, forcing a smile on his face.

Taehyung elbowed him, glaring at him.

“J-Jungkook? Can we talk?” Jimin shyly asked.

Jungkook looked at him, his big doe eyes shining brightly but filled with sadness.

“I guess.” Jungkook said, getting up.

Jimin got up too and followed the taller out of the cafeteria, not noticing how his friends were smiling as they watched them.

They arrived in a small backyard that was totally empty since everyone was eating in the cafeteria. Jungkook sat down on a low wall under a weeping willow and gestured for Jimin to do the same.

They sat in front of each other, their eyes not meeting yet. It was awkward and neither liked this atmosphere. Jimin decided to break the heavy silence.

“Jungkook-ah… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for how I acted towards you, I have no excuse. My reaction was very rude and totally disrespectful, I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me. I just want to explain myself if you’re willing to listen to me.” Jimin said, looking at Jungkook who was still avoiding his gaze.

Jungkook nodded and Jimin took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

“These last weeks have been very hard for me. After you told me about your uality, I felt a lot of different emotions. Firstly, I was a bit sad that I was the last one to know about it, even if I knew I had no right to feel this way. Like you rightly said, I never asked so you had no reason to tell me. Secondly, I felt very confused because I could never have suspected you could be gay. It was totally narrow-minded of me, I know, and I can’t help but feel stupid about it. It made me question my own uality. I talked a lot with Tae and it was so hard because I’m not used to talk about what I feel and what I think about.” Jimin paused, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Some seconds passed and a hand reached for his.

“Jimin-ah. Calm down, breathe slowly. I’m here, I’m listening to all you have to say. Look at me, you’re alright.” Jungkook said in a soft tone.

Jimin looked at Jungkook and it was the most beautiful he’s ever looked in the shorter’s opinion. He was wearing his hair down, he was looking so intensely at Jimin, worry evident on his face, trying to calm him down. Jungkook’s hand was so big and soft on top Jimin’s and he kept on rubbing his thumb on it, making Jimin shiver. He managed to calm down enough to keep on talking.

“I just want to tell you… I discovered I was biual and that- that I like you Jungkook-ah.” He admitted, waiting for the other’s reaction.

Jungkook released Jimin’s hands and put a hair strand behind his ear.

“Let me tell you how I felt during this time, Jimin.” Jungkook began. “I felt like . I told one of my closest friends that I’m gay and he just started to avoid me, without giving an explanation. I wondered if I had done something wrong, if it would have been better to never tell him. I thought you would never talk to me again because I was gay. Yoongi told me that I was being stupid, that you’d come around and that it would make no sense for you to avoid me because of something so simple as uality. But one week passed and weren’t showing up. I was thinking of texting you so we could meet and talk but I was afraid you wouldn’t agree. I asked about you but Hoseok told me that you weren’t meeting up with him either. That was confusing because Hoseok was one of your childhood friends, it made no sense for you to avoid him too. Two more weeks passed without us talking to or seeing each other and today you come here and tell me that you like me? That’s a lot to take in.”

When Jungkook finished, Jimin was trying to hold back his tears. He knew he had been giving the taller a hard time but hearing it from him made everything ten times worse.

“I-I’m sorry. I really am Jungkook-ah. But I swear I’m being honest. You’re all I’m thinking about, I feel so bad about what I’ve done but–” Jimin choked, tears beginning to fall. “I can’t go on without you. I need to see you, to talk to you, to feel you.” Jimin reach to grab Jungkook’s hand. “I really like you a lot, Jungkook-ah. I’m sorry I hurt you. It’s okay if it’s not mutual but, please, believe me. Why would I lie? You know I’ll never lie about my feelings.”

“I know. And I’m not saying I don’t believe you but it’s very overwhelming for me. You’re more than a friend for me, so much more. I like you too Jimin, very much. But you hurt me a lot. I just need some time to think about everything.” Jungkook said, his heart breaking as Jimin cried.

“O-okay. That’s fine by me. I’ll see you later then. Whenever you want.” Jimin said, getting up and leaving the backyard.

Jungkook stayed seated for a couple of minutes, thinking about everything he had told Jimin when he noticed Yoongi coming towards him. He got up and met him halfway.

“What happened? I saw Jimin crying on my way out.” He asked, confused.

“He told me he liked me but I told him I needed some time. I can’t listen to my heart in this situation, he did hurt me a lot. It was hard to see him cry but I had to. It wasn’t a rejection but it felt like one.” Jungkook explained.

“You did well. I know it was hard but you have to protect yourself. Taehyung won’t be happy but we can care less about what he thinks. Come on, we have class.” Yoongi said, taking Jungkook’s hand.

 

One week later

Jimin was anxiously waiting for Jungkook to arrive in the backyard behind the cafeteria. He was sitting on the same low wall under the weeping willow from last time. Taehyung had told him to not be too nervous; Jungkook only wanted to talk things out once again. The sun was slowly beginning to set down, the sky turning into a pretty shade of pink. Jungkook finally arrived, jogging towards Jimin. He was again wearing his hair in a little ponytail on top of his head and when he arrived, Jimin could smell soap off him.

“I’m sorry, did you wait long?” Jungkook asked as he sat down and caught his breath.

“I just arrived.” Jimin said, biting on his lips.

“Well, you surely know why I wanted to meet with you.” Jungkook began and Jimin nodded. “I thought about everything we talked about last week. I want to know if you still mean what you told me. About you liking me.”

“I do, Jungkook. I really like you.”

“Good. Let’s be boyfriends then.” Jungkook stated, surprising Jimin.

“Wh-what?”

“There’s no need to wait longer, right? We both like each other and after thinking about everything, I decided that it was too hard to stay away from you. I want to openly show how much I like you and make people jealous. If that’s okay with you, of course.” Jungkook said, flashing his bunny smile.

Jimin looked at him, flabbergasted, not believing his ears before laughing.

“That’s very okay with me. I couldn’t be happier.” Jimin said, hugging Jungkook tightly and determined to never ever let go.

---

Author's Note :

Subscribe and comment if you liked it please ! See you in the next chapter !