I Think,

The saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy

because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

-Robin Williams-

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In the same seat, in the farthest corner of the room, I always put in the time to spend another evening sipping a warm latte. In a coffee shop away from the noisy and overcrowded main road, the quiet atmosphere and a glass of coffee always manage to make me forget my life's burden a little. Some people might find it hard to believe, but it works like magic for me, every sip I took it feels like someone gently massages my shoulders, also the nape of my neck, relieves me from the agglutination of stress, just enough to help me enjoy rest later at night. Sitting soundly, I scroll down my Twitter timeline, reading everything that comes through, some stupid jokes, people's rants, an excessive amount of Kpop hashtags, breaking news, everything, I also waiting for someone, as last night we promised to meet supposedly at 5 and it's already 6 o'clock in the afternoon, but she has not yet arrived.

I opened my chat app and look for a contact named C<3,
C... for Chaeyeon.

"Where are you? Something's up?" I texted her while mumbling the words. I can't help but send her a text, she's never been late without notice. Then I wait... and wait for another hour... still no reply...

''The number you are trying to reach is on another call, please try again in a few minutes." That's... I couldn't call her either. that looks like she's busy. I locked my phone, put it on the table, and took another sip of my latte. The warm latte had turned cold, the sky was also getting darker, the sun had left its place to be replaced by the moon, there's no way I'm waiting here forever... I sent another text to notify her, just in case.

[Your number was busy when I tried to call, I assume you are busy right now, let's meet on another day and call me when you are free.]

I got up from the seat, left the coffee shop, headed to the parking lot towards my car, and went straight to my home.

Disappointed?

Yeah... Of course, but there's nothing I could've done, it was unusual she didn't tell me if we can't meet today, but the big day is 13 days away If there is someone I have to tolerate for letting me wait for hours without a word, she is the one. She chose to keep working even though the day was getting closer, imagine how complicated everything that came through her mind with all those things she had to do. She was just like that, always thinking thoroughly, making sure everything went smoothly without any gaps.

She always forced herself too much.

***

Later nearly at midnight, I was just about to lie down on the bed when my cellphone rang. I raced to take my cellphone which was on the bedside table, hope she's the one who finally called me,

unfortunately, it's not...

"What's up calling me so late at night? You drunk?"
"No, but I'm about to, I need a drinking buddy, would you?" Asked the person on the other line
"Fine... want me to pick up?" I asked
"No need to, I'm in front of your door, I have some beer with me, a lot of beers."
"Wha-" My talk stopped when I heard the doorbell rang, That girl really is in front of my door.

I walked to the door on open it to found Eunbi holding a box of beer, unwrapped.

"You want us to drink it all up? it's too much for two people" 
"Do you work tomorrow?" 
"I don't... but..."
"Great then, let's get wasted." 

Eunbi walked past by the door and past by me, straight to the kitchen, put the beers on the kitchen table, and open my fridge.

"Woah... I can't believe your fridge is empty." Eunbi said while scanning the fridge.
"Lately, I'm lazy to cook, not in the mood," I explained
"so what if you are hungry? Cause right now, I am hungry."
"I bought them on my way home or I just order food delivery, if you want to eat, just order, I'll treat."
"I'll order as much as I want then..."
"Aren't you on a diet?"
"I will restart my diet tomorrow, Where's your phone? I'll just use your phone to order." Eunbi opened her hand and I give her my phone.

She ordered a lot of foods, pizza, fried chicken, pasta, I thought, she was in revenge mode for unable to eating this kind of food since she started dieting.

"You'll get bloated in the morning, for sure," I warned her.
"That's the last thing I have to worry about. Sakura."
"Very well then."

I opened the beer can for her, and then one for myself. We quietly sip our beer, didn't talk, just keep drinking. Eunbi quickly finished her first can and immediately opened another can, she drank like that beer was just plain water. 

"Easy there, you'll get wasted in 10 minutes if you drink like that." I tried to made her drink slowly
"I don't care..." She looked upset, I knew something bothers her.
"There's something you want to say? You don't look good."

Eunbi just looks down to the floor and being silent.

"Eunbi..." I called her name
"Do you know that Chaeyeon will get married soon?" She finally speaks. So it turns out, it's all about Chaeyeon

"I do, she didn't send her invitation to you, yet?" I asked.
"Why Sakura?" She asked back.
"What why?" I replied.

"How can you be this calm? you should be the one who hurts the most."
"I don't know... maybe because I kinda prepare to be hurt? I have no idea."
"I thought you would be sad and depressed, that's why I brought beer to drink with you, maybe you need something to help reduce your sadness."

Maybe the reality hasn't hit me yet, I haven't even changed her name on my phone yet.

"From when did you know? Eunbi asked me another question
"Her arranged marriage? 2 years into my relationship with her."
"HUH?" I saw her eyes widen, seemingly in disbelief with my answer. "you know and you are still dating her? how long was your relationship?"
"2 years and 6 months, I think... maybe more, I don't quite remember"
"So for the last 6 months, you still dated her, even though you knew when the time comes you will have to part with her? What are you? a masochist?"
"She did ask to break up, but at that time I was stubborn and asked to stay with me until 3 months before she got married," I explained to her
"Yep, You are a masochist."
"I guess I am."

The night is getting late, we have been drinking a lot of beer, I feel a little tipsy, but we still continue this deep talk

"are you feeling sad too?" I asked eunbi.
"Kinda... but not that much."
"Do you still love Chaeyeon?" I asked her again
"That's a hard question to answer."
"Just answer, I'm not dating her anymore." I pressured her to answer me
"It's not like that dammit, I can't say I still love her, but she always came to my mind every now and then."
"still unable to move on from her?"
"I'd say, I have... about 70%."
"You treat move on like a mall discount." I jokingly . "Ouch, that hurt." She flicked me quite hard, I felt there's a burning line on my forehead.
"You deserve that one." I knew from her tone, she's a little bit annoyed
"C'mon Eunbi, you dated her in high school, and until now, after almost 10 years, you still haven't moved on?".
"She is a person who is hard to get rid of from the mind, Sakura. You know what kind of person she is." Eunbi replied with her defense
"Well... I can't blame you for that, she is something else."
"Yeah, something special."
"And yet you cheated on her." I joked, again. "Ouch, again?." and she flicked me in the same spot.
"You had to mention that..."
"Hahaha, My bad, isn't friends like that? laugh at each other's past mistakes."

We ended up talking about our times back in high school, Eunbi and I were a seatmate, two close friends who happened use to likes the same girl. At that time, Eunbi quickly made Chaeyeon fell for her, she was persistent and kind to her, also maybe because, at that time she was very popular, a model student and I was just an ordinary student wearing glasses who wanted to study medicine, I don't really have the confidence to reveal my feeling.

The situation was reversed when we started college, Eunbi studied music major while I enrolled in medical school at a university that is outside the city we live in, Chaeyeon also enrolled at the same faculty. As a good friend, Eunbi told me to take care of Chaeyeon for her, So I did, but maybe because they live in a different city, communication becomes challenging, the only chance to meet was during long holidays, their relationship becomes tenuous, Chaeyeon always tells me that eunbi has changed, and in the end, we found out she was cheating on her. Chaeyeon was upset, and at that moment I saw it as an opportunity because I already had feelings for her at first, I did my best to comfort her, trying to be there when she needed me. Few years after that, I dated her eventually, at first, my friendship with Eunbi became strange, and there's a little bit of guilt to her that as a best friend, I'm dating my best friend's ex, Eunbi's ex. I tried my best to get rid of that guilt because I never took Chaeyeon from Eunbi, Eunbi was the one who betrayed Chaeyeon first. a few months after that eunbi may finally realized it and invited me to meet up for a drink. We both think that our friendship is also more valuable. we made up, and from then on we supported each other as we should.

like now, even though she may be sad herself, despite all her own problems, she is still willing to take her time to comfort me, to cheer me up.

"How many cans have you drunk?" I found eunbi already lying flat on the sofa
"I don't *hiccup* know *hiccup*," I counted how many c