Things usually happen when you least expect them to, so when Eunbi walked in at the exact moment of the chorus, Sakura felt gutted. It was worse than having a knife stuck to her belly, worse than being shot on the chest with a shotgun.

It wasn’t even the most relevant song at the moment (there was definitely no ‘him’, only a lot of ‘thinking of you’), but the notes were too well placed and the words made too much sense that Sakura hated it—hated how she felt so helplessly smitten, hated how she couldn’t do anything about it other than to stare at her from where she was, with an almost empty beer bottle in her sweating hand, and a very sappy love song in her ears.

She stared at Eunbi, stared really hard until she realized she didn’t want to be there anymore, lifting her shoe-clad feet off the small coffee table before deciding to just get out of the cramped bar that looked more like a college frathouse.

With her hands shoved deep inside her pockets, Sakura stood up, only to find herself face to face with Eunbi.

“Hi,” the girl greeted, smiling that infectious smile that Sakura hated.

“Hey,” Sakura greeted back as she drew her jacket tighter against her body, sidestepping as Eunbi took her place in front on the sofa where she sat.

She was about to leave when she noticed how Eunbi’s smile had turned into an obvious frown, with her eyebrows drawn together and lips pursed into a slight pout.

“Wait, you’re leaving already?” Eunbi asked, displeasure resounding in her voice.

Sakura made sure there was ample distance between them before she looked back, nodding, smiling lopsidedly as she shifted her weight on the balls of her feet as if itching to take another step.

“Yeah, I have class tomorrow,” she said, stepping away.

She knew what disappointment looked like, but she couldn’t understand why she saw that on Eunbi’s face. There was no reason for her to be disappointed, unless she saw through her lie because there was no class tomorrow, but even then she didn’t have the right to.

They’re not even friends.

She could only smile at the adorable frown before taking another step back, nodding one last time to signal her departure.

“I’ll see you around, Eunbi,” she said, turning around and walking away.

Sakura stepped off into the night and made her way home, chuckling mirthlessly to herself.

 

—–

 

The world had been wrong, Sakura realized. The awkwardness brought about by a one sided confession was a lie, because there was nothing awkward about not feeling the same way, only blunt and painful honesty. And that was what Eunbi had, the girl who could stand anywhere in a room and still be the center of it.

It would have been more complicated if Eunbi felt the same way, because then they’d find themselves in a tangled mess of infinite questions. Are we going to start dating? When? Do we even have anything in common? Is this even gonna work? Questions like that and more.

So when Eunbi rejected her, Sakura felt unusually relieved. Yes, she liked her, and yes it would have been nice to be with her, but that was clearly not going to happen and now they’re nothing but acquaintances.

They weren’t really friends, only knew each other through people who knew other people, but that didn’t stop the attraction, and it didn’t stop Sakura from confessing either.

It wasn’t even a grand thing, just a simple ‘I think I like you’ over a couple of drinks with a ‘Thank you, but let’s just be friends’ as a response.

That was about half a year ago, and it was funny because as the feeling grew tenfold, the need for reciprocation dropped down to an almost ‘I don’t care anymore’. Yet whenever Sakura saw Eunbi in campus, or in the college bar, or just anywhere, she always found herself eating her words.

Just like now.

Sakura stopped on her tracks when she saw Eunbi alone in the halls, struggling to open her locker, looking like she just ran a marathon. Even from where she was she could see the sweat sliding down her nape, her slightly soaked shirt and her damped hair that was pulled up in a messy bun.

It didn’t make sense to see Eunbi so late inside the campus building, and for a moment Sakura just wanted to leave her alone. But when Eunbi groaned and whined in frustration, all thoughts of escaping flew out of her mind.

Sighing, Sakura walked away from the wall she was hiding behind and approached the girl who looked like she was about to cry.

“Hey,” she greeted, chuckled when Eunbi cursed out loud.

“Jesus, Sakura, you scared me!” The girl hissed, hand clutching her chest. Now that she was near, Sakura could see the flushed cheeks and the almost bare face. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from staring.

“What are you still doing here? It’s late.” Eunbi asked, facing her fully as she leaned on the locker next to hers.

“I’m a student assistant at the library,” Sakura answered. “You?”

The girl suddenly groaned.

“We’re preparing for tomorrow’s benefit concert so I had to stay behind. And now my locker won’t open and my clothes are in there and I just wanted to change first before I go home but as you can see…”

Sakura looked at the locker before turning back to Eunbi.

“Can I try?” She asked, pointing at the locker door.

Eunbi nodded, stepping aside for a bit to give her some room. Sakura asked for her locker combination after promising that she’ll never spread it or use it for her own personal gain.

A few turns and a few clicks later, the door stayed shut. She gave it a few slaps and nudges but it just won’t open. Eunbi sighed beside her and pouted. “It’s okay, Sakura,” she said, “I’ll just have it opened tomorrow. Thanks for trying.”

Sakura looked at her, turned back to the locker before pointing, “I could try and kick it if you want.”

Eunbi laughed then, and it reminded Sakura why she had been evading the girl. That adorable, soundless laugh would do nothing to her unrequited feelings.

“Don’t, you might hurt yourself,” the girl said after recovering. “It’s okay, I guess I’ll just go home smelling like a dumpster.”

Sakura frowned. “No, you don’t,” she said. “I won’t be here if you did.”

Eunbi bit her lips and smiled shyly, and Sakura froze. She could almost feel her ‘I don’t care anymore’ turning to ‘I think I’m starting to’.

“I know that’s supposed to make me feel better but now I’m just conscious,” Eunbi said as she tucked her hair behind her ear and grinned.

Sakura could only chuckle. “Let’s go, the building’s closing soon.”

When they started walking away from the lockers, Sakura made sure that Eunbi was at least three feet ahead of her. The other girl didn’t seem to mind that they weren’t walking beside each other—in fact, she looked so distracted, she didn’t realize she was walking a full two meters ahead.

They reached the gates and Eunbi stopped abruptly, and Sakura thought, as she watched her circle around in slow motion, that if she didn’t stay far behind enough, then she would have bumped into her.

Thank god, she thought again. She wouldn’t be able to handle the proximity.

She watched as Eunbi opened before closing it again, looking like she was fighting some internal battle. Sakura waited.

“Look,” the other girl finally said after a while. “We’re still a little shorthanded for tomorrow’s event and I was wondering if—You know, if you’re not too busy… Maybe give us a hand?”

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She didn’t expect that. But still she managed to answer.

“I… I have a class.”

This time it wasn’t a lie. She did have a class, but right now she wished that she didn’t and that she was just lying.

Eunbi’s face fell. “Oh,” she said, no longer smiling. “It’s okay.”

Sakura suddenly felt guilty.

She could only walk Eunbi up to her dorm building as an apology.

 

———
———

 

Things usually happen when you least expect them to, so when Sakura suddenly appeared in front of her with her small hand pressing against her own to steady the box that was on the verge of falling from her arms, Eunbi felt winded. It was worse than getting punched in the face, worse than getting hit by a truck.

Sakura wasn’t even supposed to be there, but here she was, holding her hand in the most innocent way, smiling that lopsided smile that made her chin dimple appear.

“Hey,” the shorter girl greeted, taking the box of cables from her hands.

“I—Wha—I don’t—I mean—”

“My professor cancelled our lecture, asked us to help here instead.”

Eunbi could only smile. For once in her life, she was speechless. And maybe, just this once, she didn’t mind either.

 

—–

 

If she was to count, Eunbi was sure she has had at least a hundred confessions thrown at her just this year alone. She never really liked being at the receiving end of each, especially when rejection was to occur right after, but it was inevitable, and sometimes she wished her admirers would just keep their feelings to themselves.

She couldn’t understand why most people thought it was nice to have a lot of people admiring them, when in reality it was the hardest thing to have. It was more of a burden than a gift, because it involved feelings and wreckage, and sadly for her, she had to be the one doing the wrecking.

But Sakura never looked distraught after she had rejected her, and for once there was no need to console. There were no tears when she only asked for friendship, no dramatic walkouts nor bitter name calling.

Maybe it was because she confessed in the most nonchalant way, over a few drinks, around the people whom they call friends. Eunbi wasn’t even sure if Sakura really liked her, because according to her, she just thinks she does.

But now there was a sudden need for confirmation, because the world decided to become cruel all of a sudden, and Eunbi couldn’t help but blame it on karma.

She woke up one morning with Sakura as her very first thought and it blew her mind because they weren’t even friends, only knew each other through people who knew people.

And now she realized how wrong the world was; there was nothing awkward about one sided confessions.

It’s realizing months after that that she was starting to feel the same way.

 

—–

 

Eunbi heaved a sigh as she sat on the equipment case backstage, legs aching and sweat dripping inside her shirt. Everything went by like a blur for the rest of the day, and before she knew it, it was dark and the band was already playing their last set.

She looked around and saw the rest of the volunteers sprawled out on the grass, enjoying the rest of the music playing from the main stage. She smiled when she saw Sakura walking around with a box of water, giving everyone she passed by a bottle.

Eunbi stared at her, stared at how she carried herself so cooly even though it was obvious that she was exhausted. She watched as she took two bottles from the box before discarding it, heading towards her with a tired smile on her face.

Sakura sat on the grass beside her, handing her a bottle before plopping on her back with a sigh. The girl said nothing, just closed her eyes as the band vocalist called out for the last song.

A soft melody started to play and Eunbi smiled as she recognized what it was. She listened to the words and sang along softly, feeling the day’s exhaustion easing away.

“That song’s really popular huh…” Sakura suddenly said. Eunbi stopped singing and looked at her, surprised to see her frowning.

“You don’t like it?” She asked, curious.

“It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just—It reminds me of… things.”

Eunbi chuckled when Sakura’s frown deepened as the chorus came in. “Thinking about someone, Sakura?” She teased.

Her smile disappeared when Sakura slowly opened her eyes to look at her, serious. She sat up, gaze never faltering.

“Yeah. Something like that,” she said, and Eunbi suddenly felt hot.

She wasn’t sure how long they had stared at each other, but she vaguely remembered drowning in Sakura’s eyes even after the music was gone, replaced by screams and applause.

 

———
———

 

Things really do happen when you least expect them to, so when Eunbi suddenly leaned in to kiss her on the cheek before scurrying off like a thief, Sakura felt like she just died. It was worse than being thrown off a cliff, worse than the ground opening up under her feet to swallow her whole.

It lasted for just a second, yet the after effects we’re brutal, that even as she lay on her bed hours later she could still feel the soft pair of lips pressed on the side of her face.

She let out a curse as she shifted to lie on her stomach.

Helping out on that event last night was such a bad idea, she thought. Because now she was sure that Eunbi’s thank you kiss had finally made her ‘I think I like you’ evolve into something else.

 

—–

 

When she went to school the next day without a wink of sleep, the first person she saw was Eunbi, looking like she hadn’t slept either. She wanted to pretend that she didn’t see her but it was really hard when they’re the only people going through the campus entrance.

“Good morning,” Eunbi greeted first when they were near enough.

Sakura only smiled as she opened the door for them, letting Eunbi enter first. They walked side by side until they were at the lockers.

“Aw .”

She chuckled loudly at the random curse, looked at the girl amusingly. They stopped in front of Eunbi’s locker and realized what the swearing was for.

“I totally forgot about this…” Eunbi said, frowning.

Sakura was going to be late if she didn’t move now, but Eunbi’s pout was reminding her of the kiss from last night, making her think twice about leaving. She checked her watch, noting that she still had a few more minutes before the first warning bell rings.

She gestured for the door and tinkered with the lock when the other stepped aside. Sakura set the combination and nudged the latch a number of times before hitting it with the side of her closed fist.

“I guess it’s still stuck—” a hit and the door suddenly opened, “Or not.”

The way Eunbi smiled made Sakura feel like she won the lottery, but the bell suddenly rang and she realized she couldn’t be late for this class. She stepped back and gestured that it was time for her to go, but Eunbi took a hold of her arm before she could leave.

“Sakura, wait…”

She felt the yank and turned, surprised at the sudden contact. She thought the other girl would release her but the hold tightened even more, until she couldn’t feel anything else but the warm palm against her skin. Sakura looked up at Eunbi but the latter had her head tilted down, looking at her own hand.

“Thank you,” she said, voice soft and shy, “Not just for my locker, but also for helping out last night.” She looked at her finally and Sakura almost choked on her spit when Eunbi smiled that smile that she really hated.

“I-It’s no problem, Eunbi.” Sakura managed to reply after a while.

The warmth she felt on her arm was gone by then and it made her remember where she was.

She checked her watch. Two minutes left before the second bell.

“Look Eun,” Sakura said, a bit hesitant, “I really need to go. I’ll just see you around, okay?”

She didn’t wait for a reply and just turned around, preparing to sprint towards her classroom. Sakura had managed to take three huge strides before Eunbi stopped her for the second time that morning.

“Wait!”

Sakura’s shoe skidded on the floor and created a loud squeak, making her wince. She turned when she heard quick footsteps approaching her from behind.

Eunbi stopped a feet away from her, cheeks flustered.

“We’re planning to get some drinks later at the bar—You know, to celebrate last night’s success with the team and the volunteers. And I just—I really…” Eunbi paused, biting her lip in contemplation.

Sakura checked her watch again. One minute.

“Eun, I—”

“I’d like it very much if you could come…”

The bell rang for the second time that morning, signalling the actual start of the first class. Yet Sakura remained motionless on her spot, watch ticking away and her class long forgotten.

 

———
———

 

Things really do happen when you least expect them to, so when Sakura walked in just right before the bar closes, Eunbi felt her breath got stolen. It was worse than being strangled to death, worse than drowning in the middle of the sea.

Yet it felt so nice when Sakura smiled when she saw her, that cute chin dimple appearing when she grinned. Eunbi got up from her seat to meet her halfway.

“Hi,” She greeted, smiling so widely she could almost feel her face tearing. “I didn’t think you’d show up anymore.”

“Sorry, I fell asleep and lost track of time,” Sakura said as she looked around the almost empty bar. “But I guess I’m already too late.”

“Yeah, everyone’s gone home.”

“Sorry,” the girl apologized again.

No one said anything as they stood there in the middle of the bar, shoes shuffling against the tiled floors to fill the uneasy silence.

Suddenly it was awkward between them, especially for Eunbi since she invited the girl for some drinks only to have her go home as soon as she arrived, drink-less. The invitation had been impulsive, but she really wanted to see her, even more after she had spent a considerable time with her.

And after that ‘thank you’ kiss she bravely took last night, the need grew even more to the point that it had kept her awake the whole night.

Eunbi opened to break the ice but someone else beat her to it.

“Hey lovebirds!” Yelled the guy wiping the bartop. “We’re closing.” He waved them away with his free hand.

She heard Sakura chuckle shyly and she couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

“Let’s go,” the girl said, head gesturing towards the door. “I’ll walk you home.”

 

—–

 

They found themselves walking leisurely on the empty pavement, a takeaway cup of hot chocolate and coffee in their hands.

“I was supposed to buy you a drink you know, not the other way around,” Eunbi said, sipping her coffee carefully. She took a glance at Sakura who was chugging her hot chocolate like it was water, giggled when the girl her lips like a kid before letting out a satisfied sigh.

“It’s okay,” the girl replied, “it’s for me being late.” She took another generous gulp before smiling at her. “You can buy me a drink some other time.”

Eunbi nodded as they continued to walk, hiding her smile as she focused on her feet and the steps she’s taking. Soon enough, her dorm building came to view, and she could finally feel her night coming to an end.

Sakura walked her up until the lobby entrance, bidding her a simple good night before turning to leave.

“Hey, Sakura?” She called out, feeling brave all of a sudden though her heart was racing inside her chest. All she knew was that she didn’t want her to go. At least not yet.

“Hmm?”

Even with the distance between them, even with Sakura looking so ordinary in her jeans and hoodie and off-white sneakers, Eunbi stared, hard, like she had never stared at anyone before.

Sakura tilted her head to the side as she stared back at her. “Something wrong?”

Eunbi smiled nervously and took a deep breath.

“Would you like to go out with me some time?” She asked, feeling her heart doing leaps inside her chest.

She kept her eyes at the silent girl, giggled at how the other girl’s eyebrows were so high up on her forehead she couldn’t see them anymore behind her bangs.

Sakura’s mouth was parted and her eyes were wide. “You’re asking me out?” She asked.

Eunbi nodded shyly, chewing on her bottom lip, gripping on the takeaway cup that she almost forgot about.

“Like… Like on a date?”

She nodded again.

“I… I thought you just wanted to stay friends?”

“I did but—” Eunbi paused as she walked to where Sakura was, stopping when she was finally in front of her. “I think,” she smiled, “I think I like you now, too.”

Sakura laughed then, hard, and it filled the quiet night, filled Eunbi’s ears and her heart up to the brim. It sounded warm, the kind of warmth that she had been feeling when she was with her, the kind that made beautiful things happen unexpectedly.

“Yeah, okay sure,” Sakura said when she finally recovered, smiling that lopsided smile Eunbi liked.

“I’d love to go out with you.”

 

———
———

 

Things had finally happened and Sakura and Eunbi felt… clueless.

Because now that they knew that they felt the same way, a lot of things didn’t happen unexpectedly anymore, so they had to do them deliberately now so there would be progress.

They went out on dates, ate meals together, and had drinks almost every night (because they didn’t want their days to end so quickly).

Eunbi had come to like Sakura’s perpetual calmness and rare bursts of dorky behavior, her uberly caring nature and effortless humor. And though there was nothing unique about her, Sakura, in her own right, was one of a kind. Her less-than-grand confession was evidence to that.

In return, Sakura would always walk Eunbi home, with her hands deep inside her hoodie pockets and a few feet separating them. But it was only until Eunbi got fed up and yanked her by the hood of her jacket that they started to walk side by side, shoulders bumping and hands slightly brushing.

It took them a couple more dates and a badly aimed first kiss (Sakura miscalculated Eunbi’s height and ended up kissing the corner of her lips instead) that they started to become comfortable.

Nevertheless, Sakura and Eunbi had been right all along; it was more awkward to have two people feeling the same way.

But it was a good kind of awkward–the kind that they would rather have than that of a one sided love.