Seulgi never really thought about this- not that deep at least- and she never even had the slightest intention for any of this to happen. Was it something fate has all along planned, or has she lost more sanity than she thought for the past few months? Nonetheless, she had to take it in, process it, and know what exactly she is going to do about it. 

The thing is, in her attempt to figure it all out, she found herself under the pouring rain, all soaked up and no defence against nature, making her bones shiver and ready to give in. She can’t exactly think of why she was there unprepared and why she just didn't think about it, but all she knew was that she moved on autopilot not so long ago, and then found herself standing outside of her best friend’s apartment. Pressing the send button on the messaging app, she then waited for the lights from her friend’s room to open to let her know that she received the message. 

 

Luckily, the lights in the room did lit up a minute after- and it sent Seulgi into a sudden realization: What the was she doing? She could have just discussed the whole thing with Seungwan at a later date, with a prepared plan and everything- but there she was!

 

“.”

 

She counted up to 90 (she knew that it took Seungwan only a minute and a half to get down from her apartment), and each second she was reminded of how she didn’t have a plan and she was being all dumb! At that point, she didn’t know if she should send another message quickly to tell Seungwan to go back to her room as she makes her escape- or if should stay put and let whatever strings that are controlling her do their thing.

 

Before she actually could decide though, a voice rang into the air,“Seulgi-yah!”

 

Her eyes flicked towards the entrance of the building, and she saw her best friend waving at her frantically to come in.

 

And so she did.

---

 

Seungwan’s apartment was like her, really. It was warm, comfy, homey, and with a dash of reminders that the one who lived there was a well honed musician. Seulgi always liked it here. She had an apartment of her own, but something about being around Seungwan’s space made her feel... special things. Not the type that she felt when she was performing, doing whatever she loved to do, or whatever you feel around your loved ones- it was... different in a sense. In the past few months she hasn’t been able to visit, she told herself not to, but due to whatever force within her, the next thing she knew was that she was sitting on the floor of Seungwan’s apartment, fresh from the bathroom, hair wet, blanket draped over her shoulders, and a warm cup in her hand. She tried moving her fingers against it, which happily moved at her will, but due to how cold she was, they were still numb. She took a sip.

 

“Seulgi… look at me.”

 

She lifted her head up, eyes blinking twice, needing to adjust and focus.

 

“...Why are you here?”

 

“Seungwan-” Her voiced cracked a little, her body and mind still trying to process everything.

 

“And why were you letting yourself get all drenched?!”

“Seungwan-ah.”

 

“...What?”

 

The owner of the apartment sat down on the floor across Seulgi, a table dividing them, and then stared at the shivering girl with confusion and drops of fear in her eyes. The silence was palpable, but it wasn't as uncomfy as Seulgi thought it would be, maybe cause she was aware she brought this upon herself and somehow she felt ready. Maybe she is.

 

“I realized a few things…” She started, but trailed off at the end, eyes silently looking around her best friend's loft as she tried to collect herself for the final time.

 

“Is… Is this about the kiss? I know we shouldn’t have- we were drunk, after all, and obviously it was something we wouldn’t do if we were sober-”

 

She looked at Seungwan in the eyes, finally grounding herself and letting herself take it all in. She was here for a reason, and she will see it through. With nothing, not even a quiver, but simply pure, easy honesty filling her voice, Seulgi confessed, “I want to do it again, actually, with you.”

 

“I- What?”

 

Seulgi’s fingers felt a little warmer now, and with a small squeeze, she then looked down at the cup she was gripping. Her mind was a little out of it in a way, she was sure, but months of being cooped up and trying to figure out why, how, what- her brain probably had enough, and so she was really at her brain’s mercy at this point, as she was ready to spill everything without any sort of filter.

 

“Is it okay? That I want us to kiss again? And after that, we can kiss each other again any time? And as much as we want?”

 

Taking a sip, she took a breather before looking at her best friend’s face again, looking at her reaction, as well as trying to memorize her at that moment, thinking that this was a moment that would forever burn in her memories, and no matter what happens, she has to remember what Seungwan looked like, how she sounded, and what her reaction was. Seulgi was pretty sure she looked like a scared animal now, minus the tucked ears and tucked tail, but she didn't really care. In all honesty, she thought that in moments like these, she would feel her heart racing or her mind going hundreds of miles per second- but she was rather... calm about it? As if that it was really what life lead her to and she didn't had to fight for it or go through too many for it? 

 

But one thing for sure, just like how every moment with her best friend that burnt behind her eyes before she slept, she knew this day was going to be  tattooed in her mind, as if it was her brain's favourite hobby.

 

“...Seulgi.”

 

The girl watched Seungwan as she quickly wiped her tears and leaned across the table. It was quite a blur, but Seulgi tried her best to focus and absorb it all-

 

...And then there were warm lips against hers. The smell of warmth, home, and laughter infiltrated her nose. The sensation of gentle fingers brushing against the cool skin under her jaw sent shivers down her spine, as if shoo-ing the last bits of the cold she felt, so her body could welcome the warmth that slowly crept in. If she could combust silently with the sudden surge of good feelings blooming inside of her at that moment, Seulgi was pretty sure she would become a volcano, but she couldn't, fortunately.

 

The kiss was gentle, it was nice- honestly, it was perfect and Seulgi was pretty sure her brain was too happy to even make her move any muscle except what she actually needed. She had her eyes closed and lips responding to Seungwan’s own. She took it all in before they slowly parted ways to assess what they have just done.

 

Seungwan looked at her, shock mildly painting her face, and Seulgi was pretty sure she was mirroring the expression her best friend wore- then she giggled at that thought. Seungwan was confused for the moment- eyebrows furrowing at Seulgi’s sudden fit- but when Seulgi placed down her cup and then hurriedly went over to her side of the floor to sit next to her, eyes sparkling, Seungwan understood, and she giggled too.

 

“Yeah?” Seungwan’s voice was teasing but soft, as she lifted her hand up to let her fingers card through Seulgi’s hair.

 

Seulgi giggled a little more as she leant against the girl's touch. “Yeah.”

 

Opening her arms, Seungwan wiggled her eyebrows, eliciting a laugh from the girl in front of her. “Come here, you .”

 

Lips stretched, teeth showing, and mirth glistening in Seulgi’s eyes, it was evident that she was not going to give in just yet.

 

“Oh come on!”

 

Seulgi laughed, earning her a scowl, but as she climbed on top of her best friend, said scowl slowly melted away and was replaced with wide eyes and slight panic dancing within them. Seungwan leaned back, her own arms supporting her, but it was not enough, for the next thing she knew, Seulgi’s face was only a breath away as her body was pressed against hers. 

 

“S-Seulgi?”

 

“Does this mean I get to call you my girlfriend now?”

 

Panicked washed away in merely a second as fondness flooded in. Seungwan leaned closer, forehead touching against the other’s. 

 

“Do you want that?”

 

“Yeah. I think this has been a long time coming, but we never really realized.” The girl on top of Seungwan had a grin playing on her lips, but she was biting her lip as if that’ll stop it from blooming.

 

“Then we’re girlfriends now,” Seungwan whispered and let out a breath. She never really thought she could ever actually say that, and yet there she was.

 

“Good.” 

Before the girl below could even move a muscle again, Seulgi swiftly captured her lips, feeling the slight hint of a smile and savouring it longer. 

“Always have wanted to do that,” Seulgi whispered as she leaned away for a moment. Seungwan followed her though, and feeling a little bolder, she pulled her girlfriend by her shirt so they were closer than ever. With her breath hot and voice low, she whispered, “Then do it again.”

 

---

 

Whatever spirit or force that took Seulgi there- if she were being honest, she really just couldn’t stay still anymore and keep avoiding the thing that has been consuming most of her mind- she was thankful that it did something. Sure, her favourite hoodie was wet and she probably was going to be sick after staying under the rain for who knows how long- but it was worth it, she thinks. She got her mind out of the gutter, finally kissed the love of her life, get to finally be with her, and was currently laying next to her after watching movies and taking meds (just in case she does get sick).

 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Seungwan whispered as she watched her girlfriend stare back at her.

 

“I really was out of it, was I?” 

 

Seungwan chuckled and held Seulgi closer. “Honestly? Yeah, but glad you were."

 

“Why’s that?” Seulgi closed her eyes and gently drew random patterns behind the girl’s back. It soothed Seungwan, and though Seulgi doesn't know when it started, but it became a habit whenever they were holding each other.

 

“Cause I know I wouldn’t be able to talk about it ever- nor would I be brave enough to ask you to be my girlfriend without this day happening. I don't want to lose my best friend.”

 

Seulgi hummed. Though voice now quiet, evident that sleep is finally taking over, she smiled and whispered, “You'll always have me... I love you, Seungwan-ah”

 

“I love you too, Seulgi, more than you could possibly imagine.”