“You won’t let yourself rot in here for the next couple of days, right?”

His manager asks this when Jinyoung was about to get off the car. After their meeting at the coffee shop just a while ago, when Jinyoung walks his way out, with Jaebeom walking alongside him, he saw his manager going out of the car which was parked right across the street. It seemed that his manager and driver waited for him to finish his catching up with Jaebeom. When his manager jogged to their place, he was greeted by Jaebeom since they knew each other from the agency. Jaebeom was also happy to see that his manager stayed with him throughout the years. After a short exchange of how are you's and it's all been well, Jaebeom bid goodbye and walked his way back to his apartment.

Jinyoung smooths the creases in his shirt before glancing back at his manager's waiting eyes. "Although I don't want to worry you by saying no, it's also not as if I have other places to go to, or other things to do."

"You're acting like you're unemployed. You're still under a contract."

"Yet, I have no schedules for work, right?"

His manager heaves a short but deep sigh. "Which is why you should've talked more responsibly back in the meeting earlier."

Jinyoung shrugs. "I did say I'll reconsider." This response didn't erase the worrisome look his manager has. "And if ever I decide on something, and maybe before I even do, I will be contacting you first, hyung. Alright?"

Somehow, that did lessen the amount of worry etched on the older's face. Sighing, he heard something from the latter. "Alright."

Jinyoung smiles at this. "Alright?"  And smiles some more.

Maybe even though he's already thirty almost, his charm has some sort of an effect to his manager that's why he's seeing the older smiling a bit now. His brows creased immediately though upon noticing that his reaction to his aegyo made him smile even wider. "Alright, I said." His manager says, trying to sound serious. "Just get it in already. If you need more groceries than I already bought, call me. If you need your laundry done, call me. If you need to deal with something, anything... just call me, okay?"

Jinyoung pouted at this. "Last time I checked, you're my manager not my personal assistant or helper."

"I am your manager. I can manage things for you. You've been in the military for two years. I missed doing my job, so let me."

This erased his pout. Jinyoung can't deny how warm it made him feel, hearing that. But right now all he could offer is a smile. "Thanks, hyung." 

Tapping his shoulder, his manager sends him inside the building again, watched him until he walked to the entrance, and only closed the car's window when he waved one last time.

Once he sets foot inside his unit, Jinyoung made necessary phone calls. He called his mom and they all talked over a video call since his mom insisted on seeing him while they talk. The call lasted for an hour and a half until his mom reminded him of eating and asked if he has something to eat. Jinyoung tells her that he does have some food since his manager was kind enough to fill his fridge with food. His mom says that she'll thank his manager later for always looking after him. 

When the call ended, Jinyoung ate his dinner and washed up and changed into his night clothes. He was sitting on his bed when he received a text message. When he checked, he saw that it was from Jaebeom. The older did ask if he could get it from him back at the cafe this afternoon. Seeing no problem about it, Jinyoung gave it and they exchanged numbers. He clicked on the message open. 

[Thanks for seeing me again, Jinyoung.]
[And about what I said, I hope you would think about it. I'm hoping for a positive response.]

Jinyoung was not replying yet when another message came in.

[One last thing, I hope we could all meet very soon, too. Not just you and me but the others too.]
[Good night Jinyoung!]

And for someone who rarely uses emojis, Jinyoung didn't expect he would see one from the older's text. But there it was... a smiling and a moon emoji with stars probably for that good night he's wishing him. Jinyoung heaves a sigh, rereading the text messages for the second time, thinking if he should reply or not. To be polite and not be rude, Jinyoung knows he should. And maybe he really should since this guy is no stranger, but... 

With another sigh, Jinyoung did choose to reply. He texts him [Goodnight, hyung.] with no emojis, and not saying anything on any of his other messages except the last one. His heart has gotten heavier than it previously was. But then again, when did his heart ever feel light since... since... Jinyoung doesn't know what to say. But his mind takes him back to the past yet again.

"It's just for two years." 

This is what he hears from Jaebeom. The older asked for them to meet and Jinyoung was willing enough to meet him at this coffee shop near his place. It's been a while since he last talked with the older. Yet, this is what he'll hear from him? Almost a week of no nothings, and this is what Jaebeom would be telling him? That he plans to push through his mandatory military service? This is his plan?

Jinyoung stares at the older seated across him. He stares at him, hard, with his eyes conveying the emotions he tries to keep at bay. Jaebeom didn't seem to be fazed by it, though. He watched as the older stirred his coffee as he went on with the rest of his words.

"I figured it will be a good timing." Jinyoung repeats the last two words in his mind. "Since the guys are planning to focus on their solo careers, and since our group is in hiatus, the timing is good for me to get on with this. It's only for two short years anyway... it wouldn't be bad."

Jinyoung wants so bad to argue that two years is not short as Jaebeom is telling him. How could two years be that short, when just a week of not talking to the other members felt like a long time of torture for him? Since the article has been dropped- the article which says that they already left JYPE, meeting with the members had become seldom. They did not plan it to be like that, it just happened as it is. The seven of them left and it had become a trending topic with netizens saying they really held onto their words- 'seven or never'. And Jinyoung would have been proud. He would have been if not for the kind of eyes the members had when they met for a few times to talk about their next step. Those eyes which were once filled with certitude when they promised each other that they will stick together... they changed bit by bit as days went by.

It started with Youngjae, when he told them that he was in talks with Sublime, then Jackson saying that he was contacted by the same agency too although the latter said that he was planning to focus more on his own label Team Wang. And then Yugyeom decided to tell them about AOMG and how we was offered to sign a contract with them. Then Bambam talked about going back to Thailand and Jackson also considering going back to China. The talk was going to all sorts of direction, each talking about their own plan and Jinyoung finds himself getting lost in the conversation. They were here to talk about their plan, but Jinyoung thought it would be their plan as a 'group', not as an individual artist. He starts to feel sick thinking about it. When they left the company, he really wasn't considering pursuing a solo career so he thought all the members weren't too. He was actually hoping that they'll think of a way to stay as seven, and keep performing as seven. That's what he meant when he said 'seven or never'. This is not what he wants.

When Jaebeom drew a deep breath, it had caught his attention. The older was still stirring his coffee after sipping on it. Those eyes went back on him, as if watching his face, trying to see what his reaction is to this news. With another deep breath, the older spoke. "So..."

"Why are you letting go of the group?" Jinyoung wasn't able to stop himself from asking, cutting whatever it is that Jaebeom still has to say. His hold on his cup became tighter as he regards the older with questioning eyes, which he's sure is showing how he feels and right now, Jinyoung feels like he was betrayed. "Why does this seem so easy for you, huh hyung?"

"It is not." But Jaebeom quickly responds with this, eyes not averting from his despite the intensity they hold. "It is not and will never be easy and that is not what I am doing here, Jinyoung."

Jinyoung quirks his eyebrow up, "Oh yeah?" he asked, tone challenging but Jaebeom flicking his tongue only made a disapproving sound.

"I just want to support them. Each one of them, in what they want to do. Let's be honest here, Jinyoung. Continuing as a group in our current situation is not as easy as we hoped it would be, not as easy as you wanted it to be. Will it be right for me to tell them to drop these offers given to them and wait until we think of a way to stay together as seven? Isn't that being selfish?"

That last part had struck Jinyoung. 'selfish', he says. Is that what he's being? Selfish? When it's clear to him that he just wants them all to stay together. Is he doing this for himself? If he was selfish.. then he should've stayed back in JYPE. If he was selfish, he wouldn't have thought of the group first. Is he really being selfish?

Jinyoung wants to say a lot of things to Jaebeom. But in the end, all that he was able to say was... "Fine."

From the way Jaebeom stared wordlessly at him, Jinyoung knew the older didn't expect such a short response. Jaebeom knew him too well and he knew that the older was expecting to hear a lot from him. But Jinyoung held his tongue and all his words in. 

Jinyoung felt like wanting to escape, because he refuses to let Jaebeom see how affected he is by all these. Finishing his drink, Jinyoung wiped his mouth clean with a napkin. As he did, he said his last set of words to the older.

"If only I've known that you can't be strong for all seven of us... I would've just stayed, then." Jinyoung clenches his hands on his lap, under the table. "Although I don't want to, hyung.... I think I am starting to regret my decision of leaving."

Jinyoung knew he didn't mean those words he said. As he got reminded of the pain in Jaebeom's eyes when their stares briefly crossed each other's, Jinyoung regretted saying those words more. But he just left him there, without looking back. Since then, Jinyoung stopped responding to the members' texts in their group chat. He had heard of all the articles which announced Youngjae signing with Sublime, then Jackson follows right after taking Team Wang with him. Then came Yugyeom's article confirming that he had signed with AOMG, and then Bambam's saying that he's going back to Thailand to work on something big. It was quickly followed by Jaebeom's article saying that the older is serving in the military for the next two years. All those articles had hurt Jinyoung. But when the last article dropped, and it talked about Mark's plan of going back to LA, that is when Jinyoung finally had shut down, leaving the group chat as he did.

It was a month after when Jinyoung finally decided to sign a contract with JN Entertainment. 

Jinyoung could still recall all the kinds of pain he felt during those times. Refusing to accept only had hurt him more. He's not mad at them, he can never be. But Jinyoung was too hurt to reach out. 

Before, Jinyoung's heart broke with each of the article he had read about s, his friends, signing to a different agency or going away; with each of his friends pushing through their own plan of carrying on after they all left their old company. It has always been like that for a couple of weeks after he had signed a new contract; after he decided to leave too, same as the others. That is what he always thought... that they all left despite their promise of staying together. But after some time, he had accepted it. When Youngjae released his first album as a solo artist; when Jackson had expanded his label well even here in Korea; when Yugyeom dropped his solo track (self-written and composed) and topped the charts for three straight weeks bagging a total of five music show wins; when Bambam made it even bigger in Thailand, going on variety shows left and right, doing solo concerts across Asia; and when Mark gained million of subscribers in his YouTube channel being one of the most talked about game streamers... Jinyoung suddenly realized that there was no pain anymore. It didn't hurt that much, not as how it used to before. In fact, he was even happy. He's happy for them, for what they've achieved and for what they've become. He was happy for then, but that's something he wasn't able to tell them. Although he wanted to, he can't push himself to do just that. Even sending a short message scared him so much. This is also why when Jaebeom was about to get discharged from his military service, Jinyoung started talking to his agency about him serving his own term. He knew that once Jaebeom got discharged, he will reach out to him. But Jinyoung isn't ready for it. Not after what he has done. He was so scared of going back. All along, Jinyoung thought that it was them who left, when in truth, it was him who had cut himself off from them completely, just because he was hurt. He didn't think what the others might have felt. He didn't think how hard it might have been for them. He only thought of his own pain. Maybe Jaebeom was right... maybe he really was selfish. With that realization... how can he ever push himself to go closer again? 

A notification sound from his phone snapped him from his thoughts. He unlocked his phone and saw a notification from YouTube. [Mark Tuan posted a video.] - it said. Jinyoung lied comfortably on the bed, back resting on the headboard. Pulling the duvet up to cover his legs up to his stomach, Jinyoung clicked on the video to start watching. He has made a personal account about three years ago for the same purpose, and this time, he's putting it again to use.

As the video plays, which was just a recorded stream of his game probably earlier, Jinyoung starts to think how odd it was again. Mark has always been one of the most quiet member in the group. Never did he think the older will be the type to do these kinds of videos, talking openly and enthusiastically to his viewers. But then again, Mark tends to be talkative when talking about the things he like. He heard the older cuss and then laugh after realizing what he just did. The way Mark laughed made Jinyoung smile a he stared on his phone's screen. He has been watching Mark's streams and other videos since three years ago yet today, he could see the slight change in the older within the two years that passed. He seems more at ease now, and more confident. He loves what he's doing and that is clearly evident. Unconsciously, Jinyoung starts to wonder if this guy is the same guy he has met years ago. Or did the years that passed make such a huge difference?

"So, if you guys want to see more of these videos, click like and subscribe if you still haven't!" Mark says, giving a thumbs up to his viewers. "See you guys next time, peace out!"Mark does his thing which is covering the camera's lens and that is where his video ends.

After clicking on the like button, Jinyoung puts his phone down and tries to sleep.

Jinyoung decided that it'll be better for him to stay in his apartment.

It has been more than a week since he got back and since he basically asked for a time out or a break from his agency (although he isn't sure if it was a sound request since he was literally in hiatus for two years). He didn't have any schedules for anything work-related and he prefers it that way. But since he also didn't prefer to rot inside his apartment, he figured he should go out once in a while. He tried going to the gym for three alternate days but everytime he goes out, there's an article posted online about him and the netizens start to speculate what his new projects are going to be. They are all seemingly excited for his comeback but like what Jinyoung said, he's not yet in his right mind to start working. Not wanting an article released whenever he goes out, Jinyoung decided to avoid these circumstances by staying at home.

It was Wednesday, he even needed to check the date on his phone when he saw that Mark is trending in twitter. He was about to put not much thought in it since Mark usually trends in the bird app because of his streams. But then another tag was next in the trending list too. #GOT7FOREVER -this was it. Those two were the top two trends but in the list there also were #sevenornever and #got7comeback. Jinyoung's immediate reaction was surprise. It has been a very long while since they last trended, and since that phrase trended with them as well. What's happening now?

Clicking on the first tag, Jinyoung was faced with these tweets, mostly with their group photos saying "Finally! They're complete!". Most tweets say the same and it took a few scrolls before Jinyoung got to that part which led the netizens into claiming that their group is now complete. There he read an article from Koreaboo with its headline saying: After four years, GOT7's Mark Tuan is back in Korea. And he's now looking at Mark's picture, taken in the airport, with him pushing the cart which contains his luggage giving a heart to the camera. Despite the mask he's wearing, anyone could see that the blonde was smiling. Yes, he is blonde now... more like silvery gold or something or some sort of light brown kind of blonde? He's not sure but the older looks good on it. And yes, his smile... he could see a bit of his eye whiskers just above his face mask, and those shining eyes. He looks happy. Jinyoung instantly feels a tug in his heart thinking of that. 

When was the last time he saw him smile? 

Certainly not