Waking up drenched in sweat and breathing heavily is definitely not how I want to start the day with. It took me a minute or two to calm myself down and breathe normally again. Looking to my left, I squinted and was able to faintly make out the numbers on the wall clock, 1:56 it said. I sighed. This is the third time this week and it's not yet even weekend. I sighed again and started to get up knowing I won't be able to sleep again in a few hours.

"I need a drive." I murmured. I got my keys at the kitchen island and made my way to the garage quietly as to not wake my sleeping friends.

I started to drive with no destination in mind. I my music player because I can't stand the deafening silence in the car. The familiar tune of song seeped through my system.

You know how I get when the sun goes down
How it feels when no one's around
I know, I know-oh-oh-oh
I know, I know-oh-oh

Passing by tree after tree, house after house, I wonder, where will my travelling mind take me. My body is like moving in auto pilot right now and all I have to do is follow.

I get kind of lost and I can't see straight
Hate it but it's just what we take
I know, I know-oh-oh-oh
I know, I know-oh-oh

After driving around, I stopped at a familiar place, got out of the car and went to sit on the ground. Inhaling a breathe of fresh oxygen, I let myself be at peace in this serene place I call my sanctuary. It was dark, but the light of the moon and a few stars kept me company. I stared into nothingness for a while and after a few minutes I heard footsteps and a familiar voice graced my ears.

"Figured I'd find you here"  

I smiled, I know that voice anywhere. Then she spoke again.

"Well?" her right eyebrow rose "Aren't you gonna say anything?"

I've been bitten by the lonely
But when I'm not the only
When I'm, when I'm not the only

I chuckled because of how cute she looks 

"I just wanted some fresh air." I reasoned out earning a scoff from her

"If you wanted fresh air, this isn't the perfect place." she motioned around the place then grabbed my hand and bolted towards my car with me in tow. When I opened the car she pushed me to the driver seat and ran in front to get in the passenger seat.

"Where to miss?"

"Just drive I'll show you the way"

I started the car and the music I was playing earlier resumes. My hand automatically tapped the steering wheel in sync with the beat

One who feels it, maybe it's sick to say
But it helps that you feel the same
I know, I know-oh-oh
When the lights go out

"I.LOVE.THIS.SONG!" she said, bobbing her head to the beat. She motioned for me to start driving and so I did. 

"WE'RE GLOWING IN THE DARK WE STARTED FROM A SPARK WE'RE LIGHTS THAT NEVER GO OUT LIKE WE'VE NEVER BEEN DOWN!" she looked at me smiling giddily "SING WITH ME! GLOWING IN THE DARK WE'LL LIGHT UP CENTRAL PARK, WE'RE LIGHTS THAT NEVER GO OUT 'CAUSE YOU'RE HERE WITH ME NOW" she motioned to me and I obliged

"DARK DAYS BUT IY'S ALRIGHT, SO FINE EVERTY NIGHT, OH-OH WHOA, GLOWING IN THE DARK WE STARTED FROM A SPARK WE'RE LIGHTS THAT NEVER GO OUT LIKE WE'VE NEVER BEEN DOWN!"

"GLOWING IN THE DARK!" 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we're shouting the lyrics at 2:30 am in the car because, why not? It's not like people can hear us when they're fast asleep in the comforts of their bed.

"Oh! Oh! Turn left then at the end make another left, that's it"

I did as she told me and I saw where she brought me to an overlooking cliff which has a beautiful view of the city below 

"Breathtaking"

"I knew you'd like it in here"

"Are you kidding? I love it here"

"Come. Sit." she patted the ground beside her and I obliged

"Sooo..."

"So what?"

"Why are you awake at this time of day."

"I could as the same to you"

"But I asked first." she pouts

"Touché" I breathed out

"So?"

"Just a nightmare. Oops my turn" I raised my hand to stop her as she started to open to say something.

"Fine." she grumbles.

"You know what? I don't have any questions grrr." she laughed at my statement and I just huffed in annoyance and as a response also.

"I read a poem somewhere. It's kinda sad though."

"Yeah? Let's hear it then." 

"I only remember the first two stanzas. Here it is,

Maybe the wolf is in love with the moon,
and each month is cries for a love,
that it will never reach.

And maybe the moon is in love with the moon,
and each night it longs for a love,
that it will never touch." she recited.

"Wow. That sums our relationship" I chuckled and only got a sad smile as a response. She stayed quiet for a while but it is not the awkward kind of silence. The tension in the air is thick but it is on the more comfortable side. I have a tingling feeling that she was about to ask something.

"Why there?"

"What do you mean?" I answered, playing innocent.

She rolled her eyes and I swear, she saw her brain when she did that

"You know  what I mean. Why the cemetery? Are you not afraid of ghosts?"

"There's no such thing as ghosts." 

"Then what would you call me?" she fired back as she looked at me sharply.

I opened my mouth to respond but I closed it again

"Do you still blame yourself?"

I stayed silent

"Stop blaming yourself please?"

"But it's my fault." I quietly answered.

"It was an accident, Dahyun. Please, stop blaming yourself. Let me go love and be happy."

"I'm sorry." I dropped my head, water beginning to form in my eyes and unable to meet hers.

"I forgive you. It's fine love. It's all good. Stop crying now." smiling as she wipes my tears with her hands. Ever the gentle and forgiving one in our relationship.

I took a shaky breathe and tried to even my breathing,

"Why do I feel like this is the last time?" I managed to croak in between sobs.

She didn't answer but she cupped my face. I leaned to her touch and she placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes to feel the moment.

"Dream a little, dream of me." she last whispered before fading away in front of my very own eyes, and from where she stood grew a bevy of daffodils in their defining yellow hue, her favorite color. Also the color of personality, happiness.

The last of my tears dropped as I recited the last line of the poem.

"And maybe I'm in love with you,

and every day I wish for your love,
a love that I will never have.

Idiot, I was the one who wrote that poem."

I smiled feeling the lingering kiss on my forehead, watching the sun rise. I took another look at the flowers she left for me before staggering to my car. And as the sunlight kissed my face,  I realized, maybe, just maybe, there's still hope for me after all.

The last realization hit me when I neared home, flowers have different meanings.

~~~~~~~~~~

https://allpoetry.com/poem/12069314--Maybe-the-wolf-is-in-love-with-the-moon----by-Blurryfacee

Song wuz Glowing in the Dark by The Girl and The Dreamcatcher