It’s just a harmless crush, Ningning convinces herself.

She felt her face heat up at the thought. From her periphery, she could see Giselle typing furiously on her laptop. Too focused—with furrowed brows, lower lip caught up in her teeth—and Ningning couldn’t help but stare. Get a bit distracted, but if you were in her shoes, surely, you would be too.

Ningning coughs, looking at her notebook, now filled with hearts and cute doodles. A name scrawled all over in a neat handwriting, Giselle, Giselle, Giselle. She giggled silently, humming love songs under her breath as she adds another name.

Ning <3 Giselle

She stole a quick glance at the older girl, “Ning, focus,” Giselle murmurs, sipping her coffee. Not even bothering to tear her eyes away from the screen.

Ningning squeaks and averted her gaze. Point finger trailing the last line she had read but retention fails her when all she wanted to do at the moment is list Giselle’s expressions. Note the way she chews on her bottom lip every now and then, how she randomly whispers in English, sighing in heavy breaths—Ningning stop.

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” Giselle stretches her hand up in the air, pushing the swivel chair back. The older girl looks at Ningning, and for a moment, she’s scared that Giselle’s going to reprimand her for slacking. But Giselle didn’t. Instead, she flashed Ningning a bright smile. Eyes crinkling behind her subtle bangs, “Want to grab something to eat?”

Ningning pouts, summons all her will power to act nonchalant, “We have snacks here…”

 “Yeah,” Giselle shrugs, “but you’ve been studying for hours, fresh air would help.” Giselle’s tight-lipped smile makes her cheeks double up in size. Ningning looks away, covering her face with a book. Her neck flushed crimson red.

“But I have to finish this,” Ningning whines.

Giselle laughs and offers her hand, “Well, then it’s a good thing I’m your tutor, right?”

Ningning grins cheekily, taking Giselle’s hand as she walks away from her bed. Her nose now blessed with the familiar smell of lavender, reminding her of the day Giselle stood quietly in their front door, all preppy and smiley.

She didn’t pay much attention to her at first.

But there was something charming about Giselle.

Something that kept her cheeks warm as she recalls their weekend lessons every night; lips smiling so wide she’s afraid it will be ripped in half. Her journal now bursts with a name that isn’t hers, mind completely enamored by the older girl’s character. She doesn’t know if it’s Giselle’s smile, or if it’s her eyes, or the simplicity in the way she lives by that makes her more… breath-taking.

“She’s so pretty,” she told Winter once during their movie night, “you know how she wears this really preppy clothes, and headbands—not to mention, she’s really smart.” Ningning took a bite of her sandwich, “like Spencer Hastings kind of smart. Really smart—”

Winter coughs, looking away from Ningning, “You… do you have a crush on her or something?”

Ningning’s eyes widen, and then she slapped Winter’s arm. Saying that she shouldn’t sputter nonsense like that, “Giselle unnie is just my tutor.”

The creeping blush on her nape says otherwise though.

Winter didn’t look convinced, but she just shrugged, focused back on the horror movie.

Oh boy, Ningning was so wrong.              

Because she’s definitely crushing on Giselle.

Ningning bit the insides of her cheek, eyes grazing Giselle’s face with so much admiration. She has never felt like this before. Sure, she had fallen in love with strangers during her morning commutes here and there, and adored some members of their school choir, but none of them feels as extreme as this one.

“Ning,” Giselle calls out.

Ningning jolted on her seat, snapped out from her daydreaming, “Oh?”

“Eat slowly,” Giselle feigns disappointment, snatching a tissue from the table to wipe Ningning’s cheek.

It was so sudden that Ningning’s mind went absolutely blank, thoughts all over, the only thing that’s keeping her from passing out is the tickle on her stomach. Feeling the soft rush of adrenaline ran through her veins with Giselle’s touch. It was dizzying. Giselle’s lavender perfume didn’t help either.

“Uhm,” Ningning coughs, clearly disoriented, “thank you, Unnie.”

“You’re welcome,” Giselle’s eye smile made another appearance. She taps Ningning’s cheek before sitting back again on her seat, “now, finish your food.”

Ningning tries to suppress the giddy smile, but it was futile, because she still finds herself smiling even after finishing her food. Grinning like an idiot during their walk back home. Cheek muscle twitching as her heart soared in unadulterated happiness.

Ah, young love.

She looks at Giselle sneakily, tiptoed on her way at the pavement. She makes a quiet promise; I’m going to make her proud.

And so she did.

Ningning starts hanging out in the library more often, scouring through a pile of papers. Her nose buried deep in a book. Winter would be there, looking at her questioningly before taking a nap somewhere hidden. She began staying late after classes too, handing a list of questions for her teacher, not giving up unless she finally understands how a formula is derived.

There are instances where she would be reading a novel during lunch to practice her English, Winter watches intently while munching on her sandwich.

It all became her routine, sleep late and wake up early. Too much caffeine when she doesn’t even like coffee.

This sudden pull to do better at school was exhausting, but Ningning isn’t one to