[DR YOUNG’S OFFICE]
[4 DAYS AFTER IRENE’S SURGERY]

“It’s been days since I last saw you here. How are you feeling? Are you okay now? I told you to visit a psychiatrist. Did you consult one?” Tiffany, the worried surgeon asked.

“Uhh, no. I’m fine. I just…” Seungwan’s eyes twitched. She can’t seem to find the right words to describe her situation.

“Just?”

“Just—made a mistake.” She sighs.

“A mistake? Excuse me, but I don’t think checking on Irene like that is a mistake. You know what your real mistake is? It’s running to me whenever you have anxiety attacks.”

Seungwan bows her head, feeling apologetic for her own stubbornness. “I’m sorry, Dr. Young.”

“You should be sorry—and, please call me by my first name or something. You’ve been calling me ‘unnie’ for so long. Now it’s strange when you address me like that.”

Seungwan nods as a response. Now that she thinks of it, it’s somehow awkward to address her older cousin in a very formal manner. It felt more like talking to someone she's not close to.

“Seungwan, I’m a surgeon. Sure, I’m aware of your condition and all, but it will be different if a specialist does it for you. You need to—”

“Okay, I will. I will consult someone as soon as I can.” She pauses to look the surgeon in the eye. “God, you nag at me worse than my sister. What a nagster.”

Seungwan curls up on the couch as soon as Tiffany runs towards her. The surgeon ran to her, like a madwoman who comes at people on the streets, ready to attack her. “Why I ought to… YOU come here, dimwit!” She jumps on the couch, not worrying about her reputation as a surgeon. “You need a good beating to come to your senses!”

She grabs Seungwan on the wrist, which the latter had used to cover her ears while she curls her body up. “Nagster? I don’t know what that means, but I feel offended!” With full force, she tried to turn the younger woman in her direction but had failed as Seungwan was too determined to keep her position.

“Of course, you wouldn’t know unnie. You’re too old for slang.” Seungwan mumbles while keeping her ears covered with her palms. She’s much aware that whenever the older gave her a good beating, she would always start off by twisting her ears.

“Say that again?!” Tiffany resorted to pinching Seungwan’s bottom instead.

“AW! Unnie! Fine, fine! I’m sorry!” They wrestled like siblings fighting over a remote control.

“Ahem…”

The two stopped upon hearing a nurse clear to get the surgeon’s attention.

“Sorry, what is it?” Tiffany perked up. She exalted her voice to bring back the cool and chic impression she just lost from wrestling like a child.

“Ms. Bae regained consciousness…” The nurse informs her with a smile.

Tiffany brought her palms in relief and turned to cheer with Seungwan, but the younger girl looked nothing like excited. Her eyes were rather full of guilt and regrets.

“Bae…” Seungwan whispers under her breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m just relieved, really.” She smiles softly.

The nurse clears once again. “But, there IS a problem…”

--

Tiffany arrived at the ICU breathless. Upon hearing that a problem had occurred, she promptly left her office.

She was welcomed with tranquility in the room, with Irene lying on the hospital bed and her ventilator taken off. Things were peaceful, but Irene had her eyes closed and brows furrowed, showing an expression that spelled pain.

Fortunately, it turns out it wasn’t.

“Irene? What’s wrong? Are you having a problem opening your eyes?”

The woman didn’t answer, and her stillness made the surgeon anxious. She feared the surgery might have affected Irene's hearing and made her eye condition worse.

“Irene. Can you hear me?”

She only felt absolute relief after Irene gave her a modest nod.

“Good. But why are you keeping your eyes closed?”

The nurse, who's almost forgotten from behind, came closer to the surgeon and whispered. “She’s been like that since she regained her consciousness. She said she’s afraid to open her eyes, in case her condition remains the same.”

Those words burn stronger than any pain that corroded in Tiffany’s heart. The fact that Irene had so many fears to deal with pains her genuinely.

She fears doing something because of another fear. How tragic is that?

At the moment, all Tiffany could do was to stare at Irene intently, studying every crease in her forehead. And it was evident from those that the burden Irene was carrying felt heavier than the beeping of the machines surrounding her.

The surgeon couldn’t help but sigh. “Seulgi’s around today, right? Please call her for me.”

--

Seulgi sprinted to the ICU upon the surgeon’s request. On her way, however, she found Seungwan outside the room. All the while, she was there, marching around back and forth.

The sight of her anxious sister put Seulgi into a halt. “Aren’t you coming in? I bet you’re worried about her.”

But the younger ceased from moving around to deny. “N-no, I’m fine with waiting here.”

Seulgi gave her a nod and entered the room in a hurry, but she too was welcomed by Irene’s frowning face.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

Tiffany explained everything, and Seulgi showed the same reaction as she did. The compassion that flowed from the doctors almost clouded the room’s atmosphere.

“I’ll have to leave her with you for a while. Your sister needs company now. She might faint from anxiousness at this rate.” Tiffany murmured and left.

After grabbing a seat and finding comfort, Seulgi held Irene’s hands. She did it to see if Irene was still mad, but the latter didn’t react at all. It was even more surprising for Seulgi when Irene grasped her palm, as if she was seeking comfort.

Her gesture made Seulgi felt more downhearted as she was. For all the years she spent learning and working at the hospital, it was her first time to see someone wake up after a surgery without anyone by her side.

“Are you alright? Do you feel uncomfortable in any way?”

“S-seulgi?”

The doctor flashes a smile halfheartedly. “You remember my name… I guess your memory is somehow stable. I’m glad to know.”

By then, Irene’s grip loosened.

“So, you’re keeping your eyes closed because you’re afraid?” Seulgi asks.

Irene nodded, still keeping her eyes tightly closed.

“Then, how would you find out? Don’t you want to see my face at least?” She jokes.

Irene shook her head. She did it in a very aggressive manner that you’ll never guess she’s a patient who just woke up from a major surgery.

“Wow, you're so eager to say no. That’s surprisingly offensive.” Seulgi tries her best to have Irene loosen up, the Irene remained hushed.

“Hmm, fine. If you don’t want to open your eyes, then you’ll have to listen to this silly story I have. I know this trick is for kids, but who knows. It might actually work on you.”

She waited for Irene to respond, but the expression on her face didn’t change at all.

“This might sound a bit harsh and sad though… I’m starting okay?”

“So, there’s this someone I know. This someone is very close to me. She is my childhood friend, let’s just say. Out of everyone I know, she used to be the brightest of them all. She’s smart, funny, kind… She was almost perfect.”

Seulgi paused to relish the mood her story had set when Irene pressed on her palm as if asking her to continue. And so she did.

“She is the source of my optimism. But these days, she’s becoming somehow… distant."

"Uhm, as I’ve said, this close friend of mine is really kind. And so maybe… maybe because of that, she wanted to become a lawyer.”

“Did she become one?”

The fact that Irene is actually paying attention to her story made Seulgi giggle. “Are you that curious?”

Irene simply nods as an approval.

“Alright. My friend did become a lawyer. She was really competitive too. Competitive to the extent that her seniors would give her all the cases that would bring them the least honor. When cases do not bring them connections nor fame, they’d stack all the work on her.”

“You said she is competitive. Couldn’t she have had her own law firm instead?”

“Smart question. Hmm, let’s just say she was really young then. She was powerless and lacked reputation. That’s why she wanted to work with people before going her own way. And… her innocence failed to recognize that she was exploited by people who are more powerful than her.”

“That's unfortunate... Did she ever fail to defend a client?”

Seulgi shakes her head. “No, because she chose to defend only the innocent. That kept her confidence. Until something unfortunate happened. It pained her so much; she failed to keep herself on track…”

After taking a deep breath, she continued. “Her parents died... From a car crash. On their way to see a family member, the car… Uhm, it was— ran over by a bus. With her parents, my friend was involved in the accident, and only she s-survived…”

“The bus driver turned out to be drunk during the incident…” Seulgi’s words were filled with resentment.

“And that driver… survived along with half of his passengers. The other half… died as well.”

The creases on Irene’s forehead disappeared, though her eyes remained closed. She didn’t know how to react to Seulgi’s story, as well as she didn’t understand why she had to tell her about it.

“My friend was a victim as well… but she put all the blame to herself.”

“W-why?” Irene finally got to utter a word.

“Because… she was on the wheel. She felt—responsible for everything. She even told me once… that she should’ve died instead. The distress she must have felt for having to survive alone… I can’t even imagine.”

“But you know what made me look up to her?”

“Her strength… Her courage to stand tall.”

“After crying her pain away, she did her best to do what’s right. Not only for herself but for other victims of the accident too. So, she asked for her seniors’ help. To punish the bus driver for being irresponsible, at least. For his audacity to drive under the influence of alcohol.”

“But those rascals… those as*h*les…” Seulgi clenched her teeth in outrage. “They took the bribe to make it look like the driver was innocent and that the bus itself was at fault for the malfunctioning brake… They played it all with money.”

“T-the horror didn’t stop there… When the driver attained freedom, the family members of the victims put all the blame on my f-friend.”

White knuckled from clenching her fist too hard and gritted teeth from resentment, Seulgi’s hunched form exuded her irritability that was like acid–burning. Her face was turning red with suppressed rage. Only when Irene gasped in pain that she had mentally snapped.

“Oh god! I’m sorry—“ She took her hand away from Irene’s upon realizing she was squeezing it too tightly.

“It’s okay, I understand your outrage. But… your friend. She’s… alive, right?”

Seulgi loosened up to her question.

“She is... but she’s kind of unwell at the moment.”

“What do you mean?”

“Uhh, my friend… is suffering from dissociative amnesia.”

“DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA?!”

As if she wasn't mad just a second ago, Seulgi cracks into laughter. “You know, it’s really funny how you keep your eyes closed like that and then listen to me intently.”

“Why? I listen with my ears. Now please stop laughing and continue… What happened? Why is she suffering from such?”

“Alright…”

“When she was loathed by people for something she’s not responsible for, my friend suffered depression first. She locked herself up for months."

"But one day, she suddenly came to me saying she’s good enough to shift back to her normal life.”

“I suspected her at first, of course. But I felt like I needed to trust her. So I did… I trusted her when she said she was ready to work again."

"However, because of the past incident, she had to work at another law firm. And as soon as she got there, she was given her first case.”

“My friend used to be sharp when it comes to her clients. Before she proceeds, she’d always make sure she knows whether her client is guilty or not. When they’re not, she’d lose the case on purpose and made sure they’d receive the maximum sentence.”

“I thought she never failed her cases?” Irene’s brows met once again.

“Well, the goal is to defend the innocent. That means it’s not a failure, don’t you think?”

Irene soon came to agree with Seulgi's point. “Right…”

“Yeah, but her first case after her—long break, she considered it her greatest failure as a lawyer.”

“Why?”

“Because… she believed her client was innocent, and he wasn’t. She defended him thinking that he was telling the truth… And she managed to reduce a lifetime sentence to a couple of years…”

Irene flinched. Her mind that was preoccupied with Seulgi’s story came blank as if it was trying to bring another piece in, but there was no space to stop by.

“The torment of that day worsened her depression, and my friend never gave in… but her brain did.”

“Is that why…”

“Y-yes. Her memory loss appears to be caused by these traumatic experiences she had endured and witnessed. She failed to fight the tremendous internal conflict, so her brain blocked out her memories. Everything related to it.”

“I didn’t know what to do that time. I didn’t want to deceive her, but I didn’t want to bring up her painful past as well. Thankfully a family member offered to help and brought her to Canada where she believed she worked as a business woman.”

“W-what? Didn’t she suspect at all?”

“She didn’t… because all she knew was that her brain blocked her memories out after she failed to sign a deal with one of the top companies abroad.”

“Ohh… You kept in touch?”

Seulgi nods. "We do keep in touch. Though as I’ve said, she’s becoming more distant. It’s been six years, and she came back to Korea just last month for business purposes…”

“You met up with her upon arriving, didn’t you?”

The room was suddenly filled with silence. Seulgi was at a loss for words as she’s not sure how a soul as pure as Irene’s would react when she puts an end to the story.

“You did, right?”

“I… didn’t. But you did. You met my friend. You met my sister, Irene…”

“I’m confused—“ Irene cuts herself off. Sister?

Before she even realized it, tears were already welling up with her eyes wide open. The luminous light came to her, unfiltered, causing her to blink ceaselessly.

“You… finally opened your eyes!”

She rubbed her eyes from the aching of the illumination that seemed exaggeratedly bright for her.

“Hey, don’t rub too harshly, you’re going to suffer more at this rate.” Seulgi adjusted her stance to support her as she tried to get up on her own.

“Your vision is blurry as of the moment, right? Don’t worry, it’s normal—“

“Seulgi…” Irene interrupted as she stared at Seulgi’s face, impossibly recognizable from the blurriness of her sight. “That person… That person who kept calling my name before I fainted… That wasn’t you, was it?”

Seulgi remained quiet, and that was all Irene needed to make up her mind. She withdraws her hand from Seulgi’s grip. With all her strength, she carried attempts to stand up on her own. Her body, however, refused to stay still; she ended up propping to Seulgi.

“Hey, you can't get up just yet—“

With another attempt, Irene finally managed to keep her balance, letting go of the doctor’s arm. At that point, she knew her eyes were finally doing its job as she led herself on the door. It was blurry, foggy, bleary, clouded—it was indescribably unclear, but she remains unbothered.

The slam of the door was Irene’s desperateness made audible. It was how she wrote her mixed feelings into the air, hoping that somehow, that ‘someone’ who sorted it all out before was out there somewhere.

As soon as she walked out of the ICU, a woman of petite yet formidable figure stood before her. She stood there as if she had been waiting for Irene to come running to her. She stood there, as if she knew what was going to happen next.

Irene moved to take a step closer. With every step she took, she’d slowly close then open her eyes, giving it endless chances to come out unclouded and somehow clearer.

The woman before her remained standing, and the gap between them couldn’t get any narrower. Irene had no more step to take, yet her sight remained blurry. Her desire to get a glimpse of the other was just… hopeless.

Not until she realized it was dumb to try and recognize her by her looks. And so Irene took the last step she could.

“Can you please… call out my name… Just once.”

A/N: I never thought I'd spill that much on a single chapter, but... turns out I already did. 
What are your thoughts on Seungwan's backstory? :)