He missed Jinki.

 

It's been almost three weeks since Jinki broke things off and things just weren't the same.

 

He missed him and it was starting to sink in just how much.

 

He tried-oh he definitely tried-to move on, but his heart just wouldn't listen. He tried to move on by seeing other people but that didn't work out because he would always end up comparing them to Jinki. They weren't him and they would always end up falling short.

 

None of them can ever kiss him like Jinki does. None of them can hold him like he can.

 

He missed Jinki's touches, the feel of his mouth against his, the way he would taste, how he would hold him close. There was always an air of desperation whenever they were together and he missed that.

 

He especially missed the feel of his body, the heat of his skin against his own, the feel of his hands. He knew Jinki's body like the back of his own hand, knew all the right places to touch that he would sometimes literally shake from the force of his need to touch him.

 

It was worse during the nights when Jinki's bed was just right beside his, to hear the sound of his breathing, to see the shape of his form under the blankets. He wanted nothing more than to lay beside him and hold him close and never let him go.

 

Jinki was just everywhere. It wasn't as if he could help it, he was their leader, but he would be reminded of him even if he wasn't around. The smallest things would remind him of Jinki, even the silliest most mundane things.

 

It was slowly creeping to his heart and his mind that maybe what he felt for Jinki was a lot more than he thought, otherwise he wouldn't feel so miserable.

 

But wasn't this what was best for the both of them, what was right? Jinki really did deserve so much more than what he could give and he was just so tired of unnecessarily hurting him.

 

So why was he feeling like this?

 

 

 

Jinki on the other hand was having a really hard time keeping his feelings in check.

 

It was difficult. It was so hard to be close to the person you loved and not be able to hold them.

 

But it had to be done, even though it was slowly breaking his heart.

 

So he kept things professional between them. He tried hard to act like the leader he was, keeping things strictly business, smiling when needed, supportive when necessary, all the while keeping his distance.

 

But the truth was, all he wanted was to hold Kibum close. All he wanted was to kiss him, kiss those lips of his, because yes they were perfect. All he wanted was to that milky white skin of his, kiss that gorgeous neck, that perfect face.

 

He remembered it all. He remembered the desperation whenever they made love. The heat, the passion, the urgency, it was those moments that he lived for.

 

But it had to be done. The hurt that came to loving someone that didn't love you enough was the worst feeling possible and his heart was no longer able to take it, despite how much his heart yearned for Kibum.

 

 

 

So when Kibum asks Jinki if he can meet him up in the rooftop, Jinki didn't know what to expect.

 

They just came home from another tiring practice, when Kibum suddenly grabs his hand, asking if he can speak to him privately. 

 

Now here they were, standing with a bit of distance between them, Kibum holding onto the railings tightly and Jinki with his palms balled in his pockets.

 

"It's a beautiful night out, isn't it?"

 

"Yes, it is."

 

Kibum turns to look at him, smiling slightly, a hint of sadness in his smile.

 

"Jinki."

 

"Yes?"

 

Kibum sighs.

 

"These past few days, I've been thinking a lot, and Jinki, I think I'm in love with you."

 

Jinki's breath hitched, the sharp indrawn of breath heard in the night air.

 

"I know, silly right considering I was the reason why things didn't work out before. But Jinki, ever since you broke things off, the only thing I've been thinking about is you. There's never a day I don't think about you."

 

"It's been so hard for me, to be close to you, and not to be able to hold you like I wanted to. I've tried hard to move on, but I've come to realize that no one can ever replace you. I was so afraid, Jinki, afraid of getting my heart broken, afraid of committing fully because I've always been so scared of what would happen if things fell apart between us."

 

Kibum's hands visibly shook, tears suddenly pooling in his eyes.

 

"I love you." he whispered.

 

Jinki turned away, his fists clenched, trying hard to ignore the hope that suddenly pierced his heart. "But how do I know things are different this time around?"

 

Then Jinki felt trembling arms go around his waist, holding him close.

 

"Because this time I'm sure. There's no where else I'd rather be but with you."

 

Jinki felt tears start to pool his eyes. "Are you sure?" he whispered brokenly.

 

Kibum pressed his tear-stained face on Jinki's shoulder, holding him tight. "Yes, I'm so sorry Jinki, for all the hurt I caused. Please give me one more chance? It's been so hard for me, I missed you so much."

 

Jinki sighs and slowly turns his body to return Kibum's embrace, his resolve weakening.

 

"It's been hard for me too, do you know? It was torture to be close to you and not be able to be with you." Jinki answered brokenly, and tipped Kibum's chin up to look deep in his eyes, wiping his tears gently with his hands.

 

"I love you too. So much."

 

Then their lips met in a sweet kiss full of promise and new beginnings, their hearts beating together as one. 

 

And as Kibum stared at the beauty of the moonlight shadowing Jinki's face, he knew deep in his heart that he was home, that being in Jinki's arms was where he truly belonged.