“Is the moon beautiful tonight, Dahyun-chan?”

Dahyun stared at the moon while Sana stares at the better view she have beside her: Dahyun.

“It surely is.”

“Do you know that you won my heart tonight, Dahyunie?”

The younger girl stared at her with such bright eyes like the twinkling stars and it’s so round like the full moon tonight.

“I love you, Sana.”

They shared a short yet sweet kiss under the moonlight. This is the first time they’ve done this after 2 years of meeting each other in the same place, same situation, almost same date.

They stared at the sea in front of them, as if feeling the sea breeze that goes through their veins. This kind of feeling that they always want only happens once a year prior to their meeting and this will always be their favorite part of the year: being with each other in front of the sea, looking at each other’s eyes full with love, kissing under the moonlight.

Other than being close at the sea when they promised to meet once a year, they also like meeting at the park, just enjoying each other’s company, watching people pass by, and sometimes having a picnic prepared even without a celebration just like today.

It’s really a perfect day for picnic as the weather is with them. It’s not that windy and it’s also not that hot. They decided to pack some sandwiches and juices for them to enjoy the whole day at the park near the river.

Sana leaves Dahyun one moment to pick up the flowers she ordered for her. When she came back, she found her girlfriend looking at the children freely running while holding their kite up at the sky.

“Hey, pretty.”

Dahyun’s eyes were still focused on the children and so Sana decided to lean forward and gave the younger girl a peck on the cheek and she giggled afterwards. She then looked at her back to find Sana holding a bouquet of lilies for her.

“I love you, Sana.”

It’s always like this. Everytime Dahyun finds Sana mesmerizing, she always says those three words to her as if it was everything in the universe than can make her flatter and the latter to turn her cheeks red. Sana will always find it cute and special and amazing and wonderful that anytime her heart can burst because of the love Dahyun gives to her. Every time that she will mention those words out of nowhere or in the middle of their date, there is always some meaning behind it. It digs deeper through their core as if saying that she loves the other in every part of her, inside and out, from little to big things.

Sana will always smile at her as a response and assurance that Dahyun is surely loved by her. It’s a sweet smile that makes the younger feel butterflies in her stomach, that makes her feel that she’s loved, that makes her feel that she’s home.

They are both living in the same apartment that they planned ever since they became official. The place is just enough for them providing their needs. Their work is as stable as their relationship and they always find time to be with each other on breakfasts and dinners. They will talk about work and how their day went before going to sleep. They go on dates on weekends and spend some time going to different places, near or far their apartment. Their relationship is just any other normal relationship of couples around them.

On one rainy night, Sana had thrown herself at Dahyun with only 0.5 inches remaining in their distance. This is just a usual sight for Dahyun every time rainy season will come. Thunderstorm and lightning can be clearly heard and the light it produces reflects on their dark bedroom. Sana has been always afraid of that. Ever since they got together, it has been Dahyun’s duty to tuck Sana to bed when the rainy season comes—she will cuddle her, brush her hair, kiss her temple, whisper sweet nothings until the older calms down and eventually fell asleep in her arms.

“I’m scared.”

Sana muttered and it is her key phrase for Dahyun to hold her even tighter and cuddle her more.

“I’m here, Sana, I’m here. Nothing to worry about, baby. I will never leave your side.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Dahyun.”

The younger girl looked at her. She examined her face that is just close to hers. She noticed how her eyes twinkle like it’s made of thousand galaxies when she look at her, her puffy cheeks that will eventually become rosy when she blush after the other said cheesy lines that she likes, and her sweet and soft lips that tastes like her favorite choco pie and always wants to be pressed on her own.

“I love you.”

It is now the younger’s turn to smile and gave Sana a peck on her lips. Her favorite kind of addicting drug is Sana’s lips, it brings a different feeling inside as if she always wants more once she tastes it. Sana’s fear all went gone and blown away with just Dahyun’s kiss.

“I love you too.”

The next few weeks were hard for Dahyun that little by little affected Sana. She developed an insomnia and something in her head always hurt as if she’s always thrown rocks from the back. She wonders what the cause of it.

They agreed to go to the doctor on a weekend and was advised to drink some pills to help her lessen the pain and fight insomnia, at least. It’s been two weeks now and Dahyun can’t determine if she’s feeling better or it’s just getting worse.

“Dahyunie, are you okay?”

They are now walking at the mall they decided to go and take some walk after a tiring work week. The younger stopped for a while and stared at the movie poster in front of them.

“This is familiar.”

The older smiled and answered.

“Of course it is. We just watched that movie last week, you can’t recall eh?”

Dahyun just shrugged it off and continued walking alongside Sana. She’s feeling weirder and weirder as the days go by and Dahyun is afraid if it has a serious meaning.

Weeks passed and Dahyun seems to forget little things she needs to do in her life and also forgetting some of her schedule for the week that makes Sana worry.

“Should we go to the doctor again, Dahyunie?”

“I guess I’m fine, Sana. I think I’m just tired from work and barely sleeps these past few days.”

“Are the pills not helpful at all?”

“I think so. But don’t worry, I’ll be fine, I promise.”

The younger let an assuring smile, but Sana’s not convinced at all. Everything seems to be connected now as Sana tries to put it like little puzzle pieces. She’s afraid to admit, but there is really a possibility that she is right about her suspicion.

“What if you just let a week off? You’re the manager so I guess the supervisor will understand if you can explain the situation to her.”

“It’s not possible, though. We have an upcoming presentation and I am needed there.”

“Are you sure you’re really okay? Nothing serious?”

That’s when Dahyun stopped for a moment and pondered. She can be honest at all to her girlfriend, she knows she will always be. But telling her situation right now makes her feel scared that it might be the end of their relationship.

Sana held Dahyun’s hands and squeezed it, looking straight at her face and hoping that Dahyun will look straight into her eyes.

“Hey, baby. Look, I’m here. I will always be here. You can always tell me what’s wrong or what are you feeling right now.”

Dahyun looked at her in the eyes, finally, it’s full of sad emotions as if trying to form a tear right at the moment.

“Sana, I…”

“You can tell me anything, Dahyunie. I’m here.”

She squeezed her hands once again and let an assuring smile. Dahyun sighed and started narrating what she’s been feeling for almost two months now.

“I seemed to be forgetful in every little thing ever since I had that headache. The pills that the doctor has given me doesn’t have effects for me at all. The reason why I stayed all night and volunteered to do the work is because I really cannot sleep well, like I used to. I think my insomnia’s getting worse and my head ache’s still not getting better.”

Sana just stared, stopping herself from sobbing as hurtful words, let out of Dahyun’s mouth.

“I sometimes forget my name, why am I here, what did we eat last time, where did we first met, what is your favorite color, what is the feeling you have given me every time our lips brushed. I sometimes forgot about you and it really scares me if one day will come that I will not remember you anymore.”

They can’t help their selves this time, tears running down from their faces and Sana just hugged the younger hoping that she can get and absorb all the pain she have so she won’t suffer anymore. If only she can do that, she surely wants to endure and spend all her time to Dahyun. But that’s not the situation right now, Dahyun just confessed what’s happening to her and already went to the doctor to confirm that she has a serious bad health condition.

“I love you Dahyun, I always will. No matter what, I will always be here for you and I will not leave you, no, never.”

After the confession, they immediately went to the doctor and confirmed that Dahyun will undergo some treatment every other week. They both agreed to lay low on their work and to focus more on their selves, after all they saved money enough for them to live freely.

One night when they are both cuddling in their bed just doing some sweet nothings. Dahyun asked Sana something out of nowhere.

“Will anyone remember me when the time comes that I forgot everything?”

Sana stopped brushing Dahyun’s hair and cupped her face.

“I will, baby. I will always remember you. I will always remember everything about you. Your white skin, your love for carrots, your amazing round brown eyes, your puffy red cheeks, your sweet lips, your soft hands, your love and passion for your work, your affection towards babies and puppies, your love at cameras and photography as a hobby, everything and anything about you. I will remember it all and I will help you to remember that all when the time comes that you forget everything. BUT, I know that’s not gonna happen because you’ll soon recover”

Sana pinched her nose and giggled a little. Dahyun still diving in her own thoughts.

“And will there be someone who will take care of me?”

“I will, Dahyun. I will always take care of you. Do not worry about anything, I already promised that I will always stay by your side and I can assure you that I can love you forever no matter what the circumstances. I love everything about you Dahyun and I can’t imagine myself spending my whole life and the rest of my life with anyone and anything else but you and you only.”

She only came back to life when Sana squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead.

“I love you always, Dahyun. Do not forget that.”

Dahyun woke up seeing all white in her vision. She wants to freak out and panic if she confirm that the place she’s in is what she’s thinking. No, not yet, I still want to love Sana forever, she thought and tries to blink. After recognizing where she was, she saw Sana beside her holding her hand. She stares at her girlfriend that is sleeping peacefully with some little sounds coming from . Cute, as always, she thought.

Remembering what had happened to her, she still cannot fit together the puzzle pieces on how she ended up lying on the hospital bed instead of her and Sana’s bed in their apartment. She’s spacing out for a while now and noticed that someone’s actually staring at her.

“Good morning”

A squeeze in her hand was felt and a small smile escaped her lips.

“How are you feeling, baby?”

Dahyun seems to be confused, but instead of answering the question, she throws another question back.

“Why did I end up here?”

Sana told Dahyun the really long story on why did she ended up lying in the hospital bed. After that long story, Dahyun is still confused as ever and trying to sink all the information she just heard and processed her through her mind. She still doesn’t get it, she thought that she’s getting better after receiving treatments every other week, but ending up in the hospital is really not in her vision when she just had the weekly treatment two days ago.

“Let me just call the doctor for a better explanation. I’ll be back baby, stay still.”

Sana gave Dahyun a peck on her lips and ran out of the room. Dahyun’s still thinking what happened to her when suddenly a sting on her mind was felt, various memories, voices, pictures playing in her mind and she can’t help but hold her head to prevent from aching but it doesn’t help. She’s about to cry and decided to close her eyes, let the pain eat her, she lay down again and tried to sleep, hoping that when she woke up, she will feel better.

Right before closing her eyes, Sana got back, but without the doctor, assuming that, it’s still doing some rounds on other patients besides Dahyun. Sana sits beside Dahyun’s bed and hold her hand once again.

Dahyun’s thoughts are being processed again and before concluding, she actually let words escape from .

“Who are you?”

Sana held her tears back. She should be strong in this possibility of this, Sana’s strongest fear happened unexpectedly and she doesn’t know how to handle this herself.

With a sigh and a deep breath, Sana withdraws her hands from her and offered some hand shake.

“I’m Minatozaki Sana, currently working at a teleperformance company, living at Hongdae.”

“O-okay. I—I’m…”

“You’re Kim Dahyun, I know you. No need to introduce. I know you too well, Dahyunie. I know every part of you. I promised you that I will let you remember when times that you forgot everything. We will take this slowly and I will help you get through this. We’ll be in this together. I will stay by your side and never leave you, Dahyun. Even if you forget me, I will never forget you. I always love you, baby. I always will. Do not forget that.”

Instead of shaking her hand with the other, Dahyun hold both hands and squeezed it. A strange familiar feeling went through Dahyun’s veins and her head is aching again. She wanders on when it will finally stop for her to end suffering. There’s something that tells Dahyun that she knows the woman in front of her deeply, like she’s known her for years and they have a deep connection within each other. With that thought, another phrase were slipped out of Dahyun’s mouth, kinda confused, but her heart surely felt something familiar, a feeling that she likes the most, she assumed.

“I love you, Sana.”

It is the only phrase Dahyun has on her mind, but she really doesn’t know who’s Sana and who’s the woman in front of her. But she surely knows her by heart, at least.