trying to shake off whatever spell of day drinking he was in, his eyes managed to lock on hers. forever still, forever tied to warm chocolate brown irises that searched for whatever sobriety was left in his.

“jesus christ, weren’t you keeping an eye on him?” yuqi looked up hastily, sending a sharp glare to her other friend. yuqi was currently knelt on the ground trying to hold lucas from falling over.

kun shrugged helplessly and shoved his hands in his pockets. it felt like being scolded by his mother. 

“i just passed by him in town and he was already like that,” kun mumbled. he helplessly watched as lucas nearly lose his grip on the bottle of whiskey. “i thought he was with you tonight?” 

fumbling to put her phone in her pocket to have both hands free, she slapped lucas’s cheeks lightly to get him to stay awake. “i was out— out with someone.”

kun simply raised a brow, but he knew better than to push for more answers than she led on. yuqi let out a short yelp when lucas’s head suddenly landed on the space between her neck and shoulder.

kun was quick to squat down next to her and pull lucas’s other shoulder, prying him off her. the two friends watched as he slipped in and out of his drunken state.

his drowsy eyes caught sight of her fiery brown hair, but instead of its wild mane, it was tamed into soft waves reaching her lower back. black eyeliner and pink lipstick smudged between her biting lips. 

he eyed her once over and let out a scoff which turned into a snort. kun and yuqi gave each other weird looks. “lucas, please,” she pleaded. “we need to get you home. you’re literally wast— 

“always saving me,” a hiccup here, “aren’t you? don’t you have anything better to do than to follow me around all day like my moth— 

her nose cringed at the ghastly smell of alcohol from him. “well if no one’s going to pick you up when you fall on your , then who will?” she snapped. her arm reached to grab the bottle from his hand.  

“i never asked you to.” 

there was a bite of frost to it before he could take it back, and it wisped into her soul and despite the blur of whiskey clouding his head he could see the hurt spread across her face that he didn’t mean to give. 

a loud heavy silence pulsed between the two forces. demanding to be filled. 

kun stilled next to her, silenced by the clear tension in the air. yuqi knew the pitied look kun was giving her, but she kept her eyes trained on the fool in front of her. 

he doesn’t mean it. he’s just an idiot. don’t believe this is him, yuqi.

“right then.” he was leaning into her touch, seeking the warmth she had but she was gone— warm palms slicing away from his cold cheeks. he wanted to spit something out to take it back, but the words were stuck in his throat. 

hands stumbled onto the pavement and he caught a glimpse of her shoes walking away just before he vomited the night’s contents onto the pavement. 

kun could only help his friend stand and lucas watched as yuqi’s figure grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

he wiped his mouth with the back of his arm as he let the soberness of what he had just done kick in. 

—

“i’m sorry about the other day.” 

he wondered if she could see that he was desperate even just for a glance from her. he was standing to her side, just enough to give her space but close to being within arms reach hoping to get a crack into her soul and fix things. but she stayed rooted in slicing soojin’s birthday cake, lips pursed, hand fastened on the grip of the knife. 

she plopped the slices onto the plates rather nonchalantly without so much as looking his way. 

“you’re sorry for a lot of things these days.” 

he grimaced as some pink icing splattered onto his dress shirt and cheek. once she was satisfied with cutting enough cake slices for everyone, she moved to the sink to wash up. xiaojun and ten were drinking beer in front of the sink and instantly moved out of her way; h