Have you ever met someone who makes you feel safe? Who gives you an assurance about everything, including your relationship? Who makes you smile even if they are just breathing? Whom you are grateful for because of their existence? Who have made you feel appreciated even with just a thought of that person? Who makes you feel the nice things in the world? Who let you see the beauty of the whole world through their eyes?

And have you ever felt that kind of feeling where you feel so euphoric? So overwhelmed? So loved? That your heart cannot take it anymore, so it wanted to explode already? That kind of feeling where you cannot help but feel thankful for that person because of the overflowing love you have for them and they have for you? That finally your prayers have been answered through one person who makes you genuinely happy every single day? That kind of unexplainable feeling that doesn’t get out of your system when you hear that person’s voice, laugh, when you see that person’s smile, when you hold hands, and embrace each other?

It was like that. She felt exactly like that. She met someone exactly just like that person described. Everything that Chaeyoung doesn’t expect to happen in her life, happened just because of one person and she will never get tired of being grateful that she had met her in this life.

Chaeyoung met Mina during winter. It was the first day of snow and everyone is having fun except her. Everyone is playing with the snow, enjoying it with their loved ones, holding hands while walking on the street enjoying the temperature, and she’s there with a box full of papers and other stuff because she got fired from her job for almost 3 years already.

She wants to blame everything, wants to blame everyone because she thought that job is finally the one for her, that she will finally get out of her 30 month curse in every job she enters but seems like fate is still playing on her and wants her to suffer almost every winter. She thinks that fate was laughing at her already because she is in that state for the 3rd time already since she graduated college and she still cannot get out of that loop. She also wants to blame herself because she cannot think of ways on how to get out of that curse and live freely without thinking of getting fired when she is just doing the thing she loves.

She wears that frustrated, sad, exhausted face again that she wears whenever the first snow comes because she is the only one who is not happy, because she is the only one who doesn’t have anyone to talk about her rants with, because she is the only one who wants to celebrate but cannot because of her bad luck, because she is so tired of living that kind of life and just wants to give up, wants to give everything up because she just cannot take it anymore, she doesn’t know where to pull energy and motivation from.

She just continues walking on the streets, doesn’t care if people will bump into her or she will bump into them, doesn’t care if some of her papers are falling down one by one because the box is so heavy it cannot accommodate all of it, doesn’t care if people see her suddenly crying because of how frustrated she is.

When she reached the street light 3 blocks away from the bus station, she almost collapsed if not for the girl so bright, so elegant, so ethereal who helped her catch her things and assist her back from falling. Snowflakes falls on her face and everything went in slow motion while that certain scene unfold in front of her very eyes. The girl is like an angel sent from above, a person who is destined to be in her life, and a goddess who will bless her for the rest of her life.

“Are you okay, Miss?”

She felt like in heaven already. Hearing her voice just proves that she is indeed an angel. She was stunned for a moment before she snapped back out of reality, stood straight, and get her things from the girl.

“I’m so sorry I caused you so much trouble, Miss”

“No, it’s fine. So, are you okay?”

There is concern in her voice that really convinces Chaeyoung that the girl in front of her is an angel. For the nth time, just answer her question already, you’re embarrassing yourself, Chaeyoung.

“Y-yeah. Thank you so much for your help. Sorry again”

Ask her out.

“Uhm, perhaps, can I just get you some coffee as a compensation?”

“N-no, it’s really okay. Besides, I got to go. Are you heading to the bus station?”

“Y-yes”

“Okay, let’s go. I’ll help you with that”

Even if Chaeyoung wants to refuse the girl’s offer, she doesn’t have any choice because she already held the other end of the box, and so they walk together going through the bus station, hop on the same bus, and sat beside each other.

“Thank you so much again, Miss…?”

“Sha- Mina. My name is Mina. You?”

“Thank you for your help, Mina. My name is Chaeyoung”

It was more comfortable rather than an awkward silence because being with Mina at that very moment feels like removing all the bad luck in her whole being. As she peaks outside the window, snowflakes started falling again and it is yet the first time she enjoyed that kind of view for almost 10 years. She realizes, after all, there will still be good things coming on her way, she just needs to wait for it.

“Hey, Chaeyoung. I will go down to the next stop already. Mind to grab some coffee some other time at the station where we met?”

“Yeah, sure. My treat, don’t worry. Take care, Mina”

“See you again next week, Chaeyoung”

The bus stopped at its proper stop and Mina smiled one last time at the girl while walking her way out as Chaeyoung waves her goodbye.

Chaeyoung thought she got all the bad luck in the whole world, she thought that there will never be good things that will happen in her life, but she is wrong, she is all wrong because the moment she met Mina, she just knows that her life will change for the better. Ever since then, the winter always reminded her of Mina, and not all about the bad luck and her sufferings anymore.

She doesn’t know, but right after she met Mina, a realization just hit her. It is a realization that it is still possible to believe in destiny, to believe that people are destined to meet in this lifetime or in another more, if not here. She now believes that meeting Mina was destiny because right after that moment happened, she feels so blessed, she feels all the positive energy the girl radiates, she feels lighter and it seems like all the dark spirits around her suddenly vanished. She suddenly thought of the world full of sunshine and butterflies and all the colorful and bright things. She suddenly thought that there is literally nothing wrong with smiling and being positive about life.

Winter taught her how to be strong, how to be tough at times that she only have herself, it taught her to appreciate the things around her, to smile and be thankful because at least she’s still there, breathing and surviving, witnessing the beauty of winter and the world. Mina taught her to smile again, to be grateful, and to move forward in life despite all the difficulties and circumstances it gives her.

The next week comes and just what they have agreed on, they met at the coffee shop near the bus station where they first met. Mina arrived there first because it is just near her work place while Chaeyoung arrived 7 minutes after her, said her sorry right away and asked what she would like to order.

“Americano, please”

She said in a sweet voice that made Chaeyoung smile before proceeding to the counter and bought their respective orders. When she came back, Mina is just there, looking straight at her with a cute smile on her face.

“I’m back. They will just serve our orders after 10 minutes. Hi”

“Hi Chaeyoung”

As expected of Mina, the atmosphere was more comfortable rather than awkward and their conversation became lighter because of her giggle and gummy smile that makes Chaeyoung so soft inside. When their orders arrive, they talk about their first meeting, about what really happened to Chaeyoung that day and Mina asked if she’s doing okay already as of the moment.

“Yeah, better, I guess. Good thing I found a job right away so sorry again if I was late”

“It’s okay, Chaeng. Besides, we didn’t talk about the exact time, maybe it’s just destiny that we came on the same day and almost the similar time”

“Understandable. Maybe because it’s Saturday and no work tomorrow?”

Their conversation went on with their daily lives, mostly about their work and their thoughts about the winter, the atmosphere, the ambiance, the feeling it gives, how romantic it is, until it went to exchanging phone numbers and social media accounts and looking forward for more meetings in the next months.

They don’t know, really. But there’s just something warm and comforting feeling between them even if it is just the second time they saw each other. It feels like there is something that connects them, it seems like they knew each other for the longest time already.

That coffee “friendly” date went nice as expected and they rode the same bus again going home. Chaeyoung volunteered to walk Mina home, but the latter insisted, saying it’s already late (when in fact, it’s just figuratively too early for them to do that kind of thing when they just met), so they just agreed on messaging each other when they got home.

Suddenly, the skies were bright again and the ambiance of the Christmas season can be felt both in their systems because they think they will not spend cold and alone holidays anymore because they already have each other to warm themselves up. They went on with messaging and calling each other, just talking about things around them, sometimes agreeing on meeting personally for coffee at that exact coffee shop that they declare is now their favorite. They suddenly became close, like all those cliché stories where two leading characters build closeness between them. They suddenly agreed on going to each other’s apartments when they get bored, when they want to have a movie marathon, when they want to play games, when they don’t want to feel lonely, when they do not want to discover and explore things alone, when they want someone who will stay by their side and make them calm and steady in worse, sad, depressed state.

They continued having their coffee dates even if it’s not winter already, but they declare that their most favorite coffee date is during winter when their breath seems foggy when they talk, when they can enjoy hot coffees and doughnuts, when they can see the genuine smile of every people they see on the streets because of the holidays, or because it is just an excuse so they can hold hands while enjoying the snowflakes falling unto them.

They typically have midnight coffee dates where they will go to the nearest coffee shop frequently near Mina’s apartment, not bothering if they are already wearing their sleep wear and just have their sweaters to fight the midnight breeze. There is not much customers that hour and the night duty staffs are already familiar with them because of their often visits.

They mostly sit on the second floor, balcony of the place unlike their usual spot during the day, which is on the first floor, back part, near the window. They love it there during midnight because they can see the sleeping state of the city, though it does not literally sleep because there are still establishments open until dawn.

They love feeling the midnight breeze, on how calming it is, on how it just have the right amount of coldness that touches their skin, on how it feels so serene, more like because they have each other. They will just stay there until 2:30, until they decide to go back to Mina’s apartment and Chaeyoung will proceed to sleep there because according to Mina, it’s much safer than to ride the bus at that time.

During the day, they talk about their work and everything that concerns their environment, what makes them feel contented about their job. While during the night, they talk about their regrets, their deepest secrets, their failures, their insecurities, rants about life and themselves, all the negativities they want to let go of their system and proceed to bury it all and motivate each other to keep moving forward because there will definitely still be better days for them.

“Chaeng, do you know that I almost got fired, the day we met?”

Eight months after they first met, Mina told Chaeyoung that fact that probably astonished the latter because it doesn’t seem to be a big deal to Mina anymore.

“Really? What happened?”

“I don’t know. When I got back to the office the day after, seems like nothing happened. They even praised my report and offered me a promotion”

Chaeyoung is happy for her, of course, but when she saw Mina’s disappointed face, her smile faded right away.

“Are you not happy with it?”

“I don’t know. I think I don’t deserve it. I think I really just got fired back then”

That made Chaeyoung sad, but she didn’t let Mina know that so she just tap her shoulder and gave her an assuring smile.

“Hey, you deserve nice things in the world, too, you know. You truly deserve it”

Besides midnight coffee dates with comforting and motivating each other that truly heals their souls, they also go to improvised winter festivals and enjoy all the activities and performances from the afternoon until almost midnight. They just walk beside each other, explore and discover things like the foods, ice sculptures, and spectacular snow shows. They also enjoy watching the kids have a contest in building their own snowman that truly melts their hearts because they have a soft spot for kids.

They once talk about it, while they are currently resting from the too much walk they did exploring the whole event place. They are sitting on a bench and there are 4 kids in front of them, building snowman and they are just smiling at them when they look at them before proceeding to their next move. They like watching them put the sticks as the snowman’s hands and even nose because they do not have carrots with them.

Mina mentioned that she thinks it’s nice to have kids in the future, who will remove all the stress and exhaustion from work as she comes back home. She wants that feeling where little pair of arms will embrace her and will tell her about her day, the achievements she had at school, and all the interesting stories she has. She thinks that it’s nice to build and have a family in the future and that makes her smile because she keeps on looking forward for that moment to happen.

“I bet your daughter will be pretty as you, with the same gummy smile and sparkling eyes and pinkish cheeks and sweet voice and adorable laugh. I bet she will be amazing and wonderful as you, Mina”

Chaeyoung looked at Mina with all seriousness in her eyes, feels like giving an assurance that Mina will be a great wife and Mom in the future as she is already doing a great job as a person every single day.

“I really hope so. I’m counting on that, Chaeng”

When they are too tired to roam around the place and watch all the activities and contests, they will just sit at one of the benches there and wait until night comes so they can witness the fireworks and the celebration of each person there as winter being one of the happiest season for them.

“Thanks for always joining me wherever I want to go, Chaeng”

“It’s always my pleasure to be with you, Mina. I enjoy every moment as long as I’m with you”

They also spend the holidays together since they do not want to hassle their families to visit them there and besides they already have each other so they do not feel lonely during the break anymore. They will spend the whole one week Christmas break their respective companies gave them at Chaeyoung’s apartment since it already has the decorations and Mina doesn’t need to think about doing those kind of things.

That one week feels like almost heaven because they do not have much work to do except their online projects that they need to submit every night as a proof that they still do their work even when they are on vacation mode. They did almost everything they want and was happy because they got to spend some time together without worrying with their schedule and the travel time.

They had a movie marathon, as always, played some board and online games, clean the apartment, attempted to cook together for Christmas Eve, and tried to hide the gifts they want to give at each other.

That whole holiday vacation was full of laughter, appreciation, and relaxation. They were able to rest their backs at the soft, fluffy sheets of the bed, not minding about the alarm clock sounding loudly so early in the morning, and just feeling the moment with each other. It’s one of those times that makes them even closer, literally and emotionally.

As time passes by, they got to notice that it’s been years since they first met and they never thought that it will come to a point where they will spend the holidays together and have a relationship like that when they started as just mere strangers. The connection they felt the first time they met was still there, not leaving their system, growing with the unknown feeling they feel inside.

“Merry Christmas!”

They both greeted each other with presents both in their hands and wide smiles on their faces. They sat on the couch and started opening their gifts so slowly, thinking about the possible reaction of the other.

“You know that I do appreciate something like this so much, right? Really, it’s so precious, Chaeng, thank you so much”

Mina cannot get her attention out of the handcrafted shoes in her hands because even if she do not know exactly how much time and effort Chaeyoung gave to that present, she surely appreciates the thought of drawing her favorite things there and designing it just like she loves it so much.

“And you do not need to give me this, you know? But, thank you, still.”

She put the knitted scarf on her neck that just fits perfectly on hers, just like how Mina perfectly made it for her. When they looked at each other with such genuine smiles and sparkles in their eyes, their hearts feels so grateful, wants to explode because they realized that they have been through many experiences already and yet their relationship is going strong as ever, the warmth and comfort they felt the first time they met are still there, never leaving their side.

“I’m grateful for another year with you, Chaeyoung”

Whenever they are bored and doesn’t know what to do inside of their apartments, they agree to just stroll outside and maybe find things to do that will get them out of boredom. They will see children playing in the snow like the ones they saw during winter festivals and try to entertain themselves by watching them, sometimes talking to them about their plans on the snowman.

“Do you want to put a scarf on the snowman?”

“I do, but we can’t afford to remove ours because it’s too cold”

Mina will then remove her scarf and put it on the snowman the children made that will make all of them shout and jump with joy because they finally finished their masterpiece.

“Do you want to take a picture with it?”

Chaeyoung suggested and the children all gathered near the snowman and Mina and told her to smile as well. They took exactly 5 photos using her Polaroid and give the 3 copies to the 3 children.

“Hope you had fun. Take care going back home, okay?”

“We will. Thank you for this, pretty eonni! Bye!”

The children walked away from them with smiles on their faces looking at the photos in their hands. Mina was about to get her scarf from the snowman and wear it again when Chaeyoung went ahead on putting hers on Mina’s neck and touched her face to warm her cheeks using her gloves.

It was a sweet moment for a while if not for Mina picking some snow from the snowman and throw it at Chaeyoung.

“Snow ball fight!”

They suddenly became like the child that they are back then playing snow ball fight with each other, guesses they got that energy from the children a while ago and so they started their mini game.

“Catch me if you can!”

Mina shouted while running and still throwing snowballs at Chaeyoung that she cannot help but chuckle because she is so cute, she wants to keep her forever.

The closest they get to each other is when they get lazy to get up on a Sunday morning at Mina’s apartment and chose to just cuddle the whole morning and feel the comfortable silence surrounding the whole room. They like cuddling each other close most during the winter because truly, that season is important, as many things happened to them involving each other.

Mina is always the first one to wake up because she got used to get up early in the morning to prepare for work. However, when Chaeyoung is there, she stays still on her position facing the girl who is sleeping soundly, snoring a bit so cutely that she cannot help but giggle because she is just too adorable. She will observe her face, the mole located on her lower right lip that highlights her beauty, more when the sunlight hits directly in it, outshining her whole face that wakes her up.

Mina will be surprised when Chaeyoung will suddenly smile sweetly on her and it’s the first thing she will see in the morning that surely blesses her soul. She just prays that the girl doesn’t notice how she stares at her like a creep when she is just admiring the prettiest view she has ever seen in her whole life.

“Good morning, Minari”

She will extend her arms to the girl that will make the latter giggle and will extend hers as well and they will proceed to cuddle each other and Chaeyoung going back to closing her eyes, feeling the warmth and the nice smell of Mina.

“You really smell like Jasmine. So feminine. Unlike me.”

“Did you fall in love with me?”

The tension so early in the morning was hilarious (cue the sarcasm) and they can feel the hotness of their cheeks, even Mina, who asked that question to Chaeyoung that will proceed to an awkward laugh right after, but will not let go of the hug.

“You can say that”

It adds the tension more when Chaeyoung says something like that because it will just hit them a realization—why are they acting like that? Why are they so close to each other? Do they consider themselves as super mega best friends because of how close they are? Why are they feeling the connection between them ever since they met? What is that growing feeling inside them that gives a tingling in their heart when their skin touches? Why does it feel like they are ready to risk and commit everything just for each other? And so many questions that sometimes give them a confusion because really, Mina was just a mere stranger to Chaeyoung then suddenly she barged into her life and became her world, her everything. There, she said it already.

She cannot help it. Who the hell won’t fall in love with an angel like Myoui Mina? With her gummy smile, twinkling smile, pinkish cheeks? Soft voice, adorable giggle? So kind and nice to be with? Who makes Chaeyoung calm and steady? Who cheers her up and supports her in everything she does? Who holds her hand when she’s nervous and hugs her tight when she is proud of her? When she is always there to protect her and stay by her side? When she is beyond happy because she sees Chaeyoung achieves something? When she’s not doing anything but she’s already lovable? Chaeyoung loves everything about Mina, every little thing about her because she believes in fate ever since she met her, she believes that they are destined to meet and be together and she is willing to give her all just so she can see her smile and be with her for the rest of her life.

“Mina, do you know what I want to do the most when it is winter? Besides midnight coffee dates and morning cuddles?”

“What?”

“Warm my lover’s hands”

Chaeyoung slowly get Mina’s both hands and put it closer to , blowing some air in it, as if really doing the most precious thing she wants to do during winter. It’s so relaxing and really warm.

Here comes the confusion again that also gives butterflies in Mina’s stomach because Chaeyoung is so sweet, so pure that she just wishes the word lover makes sense to the both of them. They already hold hands, they already hug and cuddle, they already go to each other’s apartments, they already know almost everything about them through the years that they knew each other, but do they have reasons on why they do that? Is it because they are close? They are friends?

“Are you feeling warm already?”

Mina just gave her a sweet smile and nodded. Even if she is feeling nervous, she still cannot help but feel the concern and sincerity Chaeyoung has.

“Do you know that I mean it?”

The younger doesn’t let go of her one hand, intertwine it with her, as she looks directly in her eyes.

“That I love to warm my lover’s hands just like what I did to you?”

“Okay? Uhm…”

“Mina, do you also know that the moment I have met you, all the bad luck in my life was replaced with nice and good things? That you brought me back to life, brought back the colors in it? That I don’t blame the winter and first snow anymore with all my bad luck because it is the day when I first saw you? That I suddenly believed in destiny because I also believe that we’re meant to meet in this lifetime? That I’m so happy I got to spend some time with you and know you and fall in love with you deeply?”

“I—“

“That I’m really in love with you, Myoui Mina? With all my heart and soul?”

“Chaeyoung”

“Mina, I love you and I can’t take it anymore. I love everything about you. I love it when you smile, when you giggle, when you sing, when you dance, when you do the things you love. I love your nice and sweet gestures, when you care for me, when you appreciate my whole being, when you stay by my side, when you shine upon my dark life, when you make me happy and feel supported. I love you because you’re you and I’m glad because it’s you, my heart chose to love, Myoui Mina.”

Mina is already crying as well as Chaeyoung. They wipe each other’s tears before Mina proceeded with her response.

“Chaeyoung, you do not know how happy I am hearing those things to you. I really thought that I do not deserve all the love and appreciation I get from you, but here you are, declaring it for me to believe in everything you said. And I believe you, I do. I love you, too, Chaeyoung. I really do. I’m beyond happy because it’s you, and no one else.”

Their tears won’t stop and they cannot help but just giggle because really, they are slow-witted when it comes to their feelings, that they didn’t even realize that they do have the same feelings for each other. However, they also believe that love is all about timing and therefore they met each other at the right time, at the right moment.

They move their foreheads close to each other, close their eyes, as they share a sweet kiss they are longing to do for a while now and it just feels so right, feels so warm, feels so special because they finally admitted their feelings to each other and made an unsaid promise through their first kiss. There’s really nothing better in life than to have someone who will always be there, who will always stay, and who will always express love and appreciation towards the person they love.

That is the meaning of the one for Chaeyoung. She is definitely the one for her. She is certain about that from the moment they met because she changed her life for the better and she will forever be grateful for that. She is the one who makes her smile the widest, makes her laugh the loudest, makes her feel loved to the fullest, makes her feel appreciated always, and every little and big things she does for her, Chaeyoung knows it all because she believes that she only does things with great love.

Mina is the meaning of the one for her because she is a blessing from above, the person who is sent to enter her life and never exit. She is the one who stays by her side, who comforts her, who makes her warm, who doesn’t let her feel alone and unwanted, who removes all the sadness and pain in her system, who makes her feel the nice things in the world, who makes her feel safe and protected, who makes her feel home.

At most times that they just feel like talking about the negativities in their lives, Chaeyoung has been always to the rescue to wipe Mina’s tears and fears away.

“You know, I sometimes feel nervous and afraid that one day, everyone will leave me, including you.”

Mina plays with Chaeyoung’s fingers, doesn’t look straight at her lover’s eyes, anxious that her tears will fall in any minute.

“You do not need to worry about that, Mina. You know that you always have me, right? Even if the world will turn its back to you, you have me. Even if the world turns its back to us, we have each other. I will never leave you, I will always stay by your side until I can. It’s a promise.”

Assurance. It’s so nice to have that kind of thing most importantly from the people you love. It is what always Chaeyoung gives to Mina. She always makes sure that the girl doesn’t feel alone, lonely, afraid, sad, unwanted. She always does her best to protect her, to make her feel that she is strong and brave because she keeps on battling in life. She always makes sure that she knows and feels all the love she has for her, showers her affection, compliments, and all the nice things she deserves to know and have.

“It’s okay, Mina. I’m with you. I will always be with you. I will keep my promise to you. I will not let you go.”

When Mina feels overwhelmed with all the affection she gets and thinks she doesn’t deserve any of those, she just cries at Chaeyoung’s shoulder, disappointed at herself because she thinks she’s not doing well to give back all the things and investment of feelings she receive from anyone around her.

“Mina, do you know that when I think of it. When you ask me about your flaws and imperfections? I think there’s nothing. You are too perfect and I love everything about you.”

“Chaeng”

“Hush, love. I accept you for who you are, I love you for who you are that’s why I’m here, I’m still here, and I will always be here to wipe your tears away, to remove all your worries and insecurities away, to help you with everything, to love and cherish you in the way I can and I know. Mina, I risk it all for you and I’m not regretting everything because it’s you.”

It feels so nice, Chaeyoung’ words truly comforts Mina’s heart and soul because she can really feel the commitment Chaeyoung gave to her, the love she has, and how precious their love is, for her. She deserves everything—the whole world, the whole universe.

“And I deserve you, you deserve me. We deserve each other. I will always remind you that. It will never change”

There she goes again, making Mina’s heart explode because of too much love, appreciation, support, gratefulness and Chaeyoung feels the same because the former is more than enough for her, no matter what happens.

Mina then will just hug Chaeyoung tightly as the latter will kiss her temple, continue to whisper sweet nothings in her ears until she calm down. She always makes her steady, she always makes her feel grateful.

First day of snow comes and it is the time of the year again when they feel the happiest as they reminisce the first time they met near the bus station.

“Minari, I have something to tell you”

They are currently walking their way to their favorite coffee shop while they hold hands and enjoy the snowflakes falling on them.

“Yes, love?”

“Do you know that you remind me of winter and first snow?”

Mina gave her a silly smile and signaled her to continue.

“That’s when we met and how our relationship started. You almost got fired while I totally got fired from work. We immediately found comfort in winter and it is both our favorite season. Everything about winter screams about us, that’s why it’s my favorite. And I’m also thankful because of the first snow in winter, I got to meet you”

“Aaaw sweet”

She then moves closer and gave Chaeyoung a peck on her cheek that made her squeak, good thing there’s not much people walking on the path they chose to take.

When they reached the pedestrian crossing, Chaeyoung let go of Mina’s hand for a while to tie her shoelace fast and for them to exactly walk with the sea of people and not get into any accident when they cross that pedestrian going to their destination.

Mina didn’t know that Chaeyoung let go of her hand and doesn’t notice that because she was surrounded by a lot of people crossing the street with her. When she reached the other end, that’s when she tried looking for her girlfriend and tries to look at her amidst the people still crossing the street before seeing that there is still 4 seconds for her to cross the other end when she saw Chaeyoung still tying her shoelace with lots of people surrounding her. She doesn’t hesitate and proceeded to look at her left and right, seeing the people already running because of the lack of time and seeing Chaeyoung standing up and getting confused because she doesn’t have anyone beside her.

Traffic lights turned green and the vehicles started moving again as people continued on going to their own destinations.

It happened so fast. That fast to the fact that it left Chaeyoung literally breathless and cannot move from where she is standing. She was frozen there as her tears fall nonstop seeing the love of her life get hit by a black BMW 230 car, she guesses, and she’s just there, doesn’t get herself to go to the girl and assist her. Watching people come and go, some trying to call an ambulance and report the accident. She can see a lot of blood flowing from her head and can see the direction of her sight straight at her position.

it. If only she shook her hand and say that she needs to tie her shoe laces first. If only she is fast to do that. If only she doesn’t let go of her hand and just tie it on the other side. If only she foresees all the shortcomings and possible accidents near the pedestrians. Heck, she knows it’s dangerous, they know that there were already too many accidents happened there, but they literally did not expect all of that to happen in one go.

Chaeyoung cannot afford to lose Mina, she cannot afford to lose the only girl who keeps her sane, who stays by her side, who makes her calm, who gives light in her dark world, who brings colors in her life, who makes her feel loved and special the most. She cannot lose her, no, not yet. She cannot lose her on the first day of snow, she cannot lose her during winter. She cannot lose her, she shouldn’t lose her.

When the ambulance was finally there, authorities already started clearing the whole place and talking with the owner of the car, Mina was found dead on arrival that snapped Chaeyoung back to reality. She ran fast to her girlfriend and hold her hand.

“Love? Wake up, please. I’m here, I’m already here. Please wake up. Don’t be like that. We will still have a date, I will still give you your favorite coffee. Come on, please. We will still celebrate Christmas together, hmm? Mina”

“Miss, let’s get her to the hospital. Come with us if you’re her guardian”

She thought they can still save her, she thought Mina will still fight and wake up when she was finally checked up by a doctor and nurses when they arrived in the emergency room. She just thought all of that because the moment they arrived there and a paramedic told the doctor about the situation, her time of death was announced and all of them bowed to the body.

She cannot believe that everything just happened in an instant. She cannot absorb everything that unfolds in front of her eyes. Her heart is aching so badly and the only person that can remove the pain is already lying down in front of her, breathless. She blames herself for what happened, she doesn’t have anyone or anything to blame for what occurred because she is the one who let that accident happened, just because of that damn shoe lace.

“Mina, I could’ve just held your hand tightly a while ago. I’m sorry, please know that I’m really sorry that I didn’t get to hold your hand one last time. Sorry for not keeping my promise of not letting you go. I’m sorry because all this happened because of me. You know that I cannot afford to lose you, that I cannot live without you. But why did you leave me so early here? Why did you risk on crossing the street when you know that no matter what happens, I will come back to you?”

She holds her hand, put it closer to her face as she stares at her lifeless girlfriend in front of her.

“My world is dark again without you, Mina. I feel so lonely and alone and sad and miserable and depressed and tired of everything again. Everything went back to worse now that you’re gone. Please come back, love. I want you back, my Minari. Let’s get coffee and stay at the shop’s balcony until 2:30. Hmm?”

The blaming of herself started again and the pain just got worse. She still didn’t let go of Mina’s hands, even if the authorities said she shouldn’t stay in there for too long. She begged for another hour to grieve on her girlfriend, claiming that she can still feel her presence somewhere there. She just knows that the girl will never leave her.

“Don’t blame yourself, love. Please know that I love you, okay? Only you and no one else. Even if it’s hard to say goodbye, I hope I will see you again soon in my next life. I love you forever, Son Chaeyoung”

Mina gave her one last kiss to Chaeyoung before proceeding to walk towards the light that picks her up and waits for her. And just like that, she faded.

Winter always reminds her of Mina from the moment they met, and not all of her sufferings and bad luck anymore, but seems like she will be reminded both starting from then on because it’s the first snow when she was told to leave her job and it is also the first snow when the love of her life left her. She went back to being gloomy again during winter, having that depressed emotion on her face as her tears fall nonstop. She cannot afford seeing the sunlight again, now that her own sunlight is now gone.

Winter was once special, precious, and a sentimental season for Chaeyoung, it will still remain like that, but it will never be the same, not that she doesn’t have the most precious, special, and important person by her side anymore. She thinks the whole year will be winter and forever be winter.