How long has it been already? Oh right, almost 4 years since they first bumped into each other during orientation, and less than 3 years since they first started this relationship. Jeongyeon herself wasn't sure what they were, friends? too shallow, lovers? too serious, best friends? not quite. Even the term 'friends-with-benefits' wasn't right when they had only cuddled, held hands, and stole kisses from each other at most. 

It also has been around the same time since she first fell for Nayeon, for her gorgeous eyes, her kissable lips, her cute smile, her obnoxious laughter, her magnetic presence, and everything. If anyone asked about her, Jeongyeon's usual unwavering gaze would soften and her lips would immediately curve up into a stupid smile. That was how bad she got it for her. 

This would've been a much better story if the crush had returned her sentiments, but unfortunately, it was painfully unrequited. For months, Jeongyeon had always been there for her; comforting her after being rejected by her first crush, providing her with physical affection whenever she wanted it, paying attention to her whenever she would rant about her boyfriend or two, looking out for her and had always been one call away. 

For years, she had been subtly hinting and openly confessing that she was absolutely and ridiculously in love with her. Her confessions, her feelings, were all brushed aside so easily. Always with the same manner and with the same awkward laugh, and everytime, Jeongyeon lost all energy to press it further, afraid that she was going to ruin this– whatever this was. 

At first, they were arguing. Jeongyeon wasn't sure how it started but if she were to guess, then it'd be because of a particular girl– Mina, was it? Jeongyeon had her fair share of female attention, she was known for her harsh features and goofy personality. 

Contradicting her rather intimidating aura, she was gentle with girls. But of course, would willing to fight tooth-and-nail for her loved ones. That one time she got into a fight with a jock, Nayeon's ex, after he had called Nayeon a that left Jeongyeon with a busted lip, bruised cheek, sore knuckles, and fractured ribs had become the talk of the school for a week. Thank the Lords, she managed to avoid expulsion and only had been suspended that same week. At that time, Nayeon came over everyday after classes were finished to accompany her, which baffled her at first but she didn't complain. Hell, she even got kisses for it. 

Back to the cause of their argument– the girl, Mina, had been especially close to her lately. Going to classes and eating lunch together, wherever Jeongyeon went, Mina would follow. Instead of finding it strange, Jeongyeon appreciated the company. After all, she didn't have many friends due to her intimidating nature. With Mina around, she finally had time to think about her decisions and get fresh insights from her. However, the main cause of their argument (she guesses) was the flirting. Nayeon didn't like it one bit that Mina started showing her attraction to Jeongyeon. 

Jeongyeon was left in confusion after Nayeon told– well, screamed at her about it. She was never hers to begin with, why did she care about it now? Nayeon was a mess of hot and cold; one second, she was clingy and possessive of her and the next, they were suddenly strangers. Of course, a bigger part of her was so, so elated to know that Nayeon was jealous. But the other part of her was tired. Tired of this game of cat-and-mouse, tired of trying to understand her and tired of having to be hurt and disappointed all over again. Exhausted, even. 

Jeongyeon heaved out a deep, heavy sigh and brushed her tousled locks in frustration, her head pounded like she had just woken up from a crazy night out at the bar. Her brain worked for a response before eventually, she blurted out whatever that was in her mind. "You know i only have my eyes on you, i don't know why you're even angry at this point– you're not even my girlfriend to begin with." 

That comment made Nayeon more furious than it did her otherwise, and Jeongyeon was too tired to even come up with an apology. Was that her fault though? she didn't know anymore. "Oh great, so what am i to you then?" The shorter woman scoffed, her face flushed with anger while she crossed her arms over her chest. Still, even when she's angry, Jeongyeon found her cute. 

"You're the girl i'm in love with, there's a difference," Jeongyeon responded slowly, her patience running thin. But she wanted to stay as civilized as she could, if she didn't then the fight won't be getting anywhere. "Yeah, right." Nayeon spat, turning her head away from the other. In the spur of the moment, Jeongyeon finally snapped, "Do you want to be my girlfriend then, since you complain so much about it?!" 

. 

She didn't mean to raise her voice like that, she had never in her life had done that to anyone, let alone her precious baby Nayeonie. But she was pass apologizing, it was now or never. She knew she wouldn't get a chance like this ever again, so might as well use it. 

The room suddenly grew heavy with deafening silence, and Nayeon looked  dumbfounded more than anything, that is before she gathered her bearings fast but not quick enough for Jeongyeon to see how much the question affected her. Of course, having been in this relationship for years, there were two things Jeongyeon learned; The first one was to never expect anything, and two, hoping will only get her disappointed. She knew that and yet, she still hoped, hoped and hoped that someday Nayeon would finally look her way. And disappointment was all she got. 

"I'm seriously going to bite your head off, Jeong." 

Was all that came from the older, nothing more. No yes or no, no confirmation, no nothing. It was the same everytime, only with different topics. Nayeon would dodge her questions just like that, and Jeongyeon would always be too drained to press it. And so she relented with a pained grin, like always. 

"No, you won't." 

It was settled, Jeongyeon's leaving. She couldn't handle it anymore, she had noticed her attitude changing towards Nayeon. She didn't want that, but she was so sick of being jerked around. Sick and tired of hoping things would finally go her way, and sick and tired of having to wait when she knew she deserved better. Now, being beside Nayeon felt anything but happy. Painful, even. Like knives puncturing her lungs whenever she took a breath. She had attempted this before but had always come back around because she was too worried. Worried that Nayeon might look for her, miss her, or worse, she might need her and she wasn't there. 

Of course, Nayeon's actions had proven otherwise. When Jeongyeon wasn't around, she would look at other people for comfort. Always hanging around that