Look at everyone having the time of their lives. Dancing the night away, cuddling with their partners, and making out with strangers they’ll never meet again. I hope you all break up and die alone.

“Admit it, Roseanne. You’re only here for the free cocktails, aren’t you?”

And to that, I down another tall glass of this incredible Barbie Pink cocktail, as if to say, ‘duh’. “I hate these weddings.”

Like, I know it’s an eventful celebration of love. And I respect that. I really do. I want to be the protagonist of that. But I hate attending other people’s wedding. It’s long and so boring, my hurts from sitting too long.

Plus, it reminds me of how alone I am. Of how everyone else is happily in love and is on their way to the rumored ever after, while I’m all miserable. How maybe I might never find the one. And how despite all these worries, I irritatingly still want it.

Yes, I still dream of a long, happy married life. Having kids of my own—one girl and one boy. I’d prefer it if I can have a twin, that way I only need to rip my once. Kill two birds in one stone as they say.

Anyway.

Gosh! This drink is really the bomb despite its lame name. It’s just so fruity, flavorful, and refreshing; it makes you feel like you’re lounging at one of the best beaches in the world, wearing a string bikini set that shows endless, glowing skin.

Maybe I should take a vacation in Miami this summer…

“Are you going to cry soon?” My friend asks as she looks at her sparkling Bulgari wristwatch. “Mm, maybe five minutes more. You always burst into tears twenty-five minutes into the after-party.”

“Shut the up, Lili,” I tell her as I raise a delicate middle finger at her doll-like appearance. Lucky for Lili, sobriety has still reigned over me, or I would have pulled out her perfect, sleek bob hair and full bangs too.

And so she goes silent. But Lili of course, has to do it so ing annoyingly. She tilts her head and gives me a crooked smile as if to say, ‘But don’t you?’

“That was just one time.” I relent and start ranting. “And it’s not just because the douche dumped me for his sugar daddy, but also because I just got fired at work a day before that and was suddenly forced to move out. I think I’m entitled to shed a tear or two on that day.”

Lili purses her lips, restraining her laughter as the memory of my snotty nose and swollen, teary face flashes on her mind. “Yeah, that was a total day for you, wasn’t it? Anyway, how’s it going with the cute guy you met on the dating app? What’s his name again? Jeonggu?”

“Jungkook.” I correct her.

“Ah, that’s right. Jungkook.” She clasps her hands as she recalls the information. “So?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started.” Immediately, as if my mood wasn’t bleak enough, I fall to another miserable pit.

“No . You guys still haven’t gone out?” I shake my head. “Not once?”

“Not once.”

“Why?” I ask myself the same question every night for the record. “Didn’t you guys match like ages ago?”

Four months, to be exact. It’s been four freaking months since I swiped right on Jungkook’s profile and still, we’ve never met each other outside the app. We’ve never video-called, not even a call. Just purely chat.

It’s not like we aren’t interested. Heck, from the start, I ing wanted to see Jungkook if he is really the same person as the photos on his account. I mean, that face? With that body? Sign me the up!

But the date just never happens. And here’s why.

“He only asks me out on midnight dinners. At hotels.” I give her a meaningful look. “I actually asked him before why can’t he ask me out on a fine evening instead. He said it’s because of his job. But as if.”

“Eh…So I guess, he was just hoping you’d be the dinner?” She nastily wriggles her eyebrows repeatedly with a foolish grin on her face.

I nod in agreement. “Like, I know I’m hot and yum, but on the first date is just really not my style. I can’t have with someone unless I hear the wedding bells ringing.”

 “How about on the weekends then? Never tried that?”

“As a matter of fact, we did try that.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming…” Lili playfully sips on her blue margarita.

“But then he’ll always cancel at the last minute! As if he’s doing it on purpose. So after getting fed up with that, I just stopped trying to get a date out of him. It’s useless.”

“So, you guys are no longer talking?”

“Hey, what’s that?” I point out the purple vodka that the lady beside Lili ordered. “That looks so enticing. Maybe I should try that one next,” I say as if I haven’t drunk two glasses of that very same drink.

“What?! You guys still chat?!” I guess trying to change the topic is not going to work on this mischievous cat lady. “But why? Why when you can’t even meet face-to-face? Are you into cyber romance or something?”

“No. Of course not. You know my love language is physical as .”

“Then?”

“That’s because,” I gesture at my face, then to the middle portion of my body, “have you seen his face?!”

Any girl who sees that face will never be able to put it out of her mind. He’s a guy who’s just oozing with and appeal! He’s a guy who can make me damp with one ing cute smile.

I mean, based on his photos, because I haven’t seen him in real life form. But girl, oh girl, oh, girl! I just want to touch his sharp jawline, get a cut on my finger, and have him it.

Jungkook’s face…if you split apart the features, you’ll notice that they are very masculine. But the final picture? Adorable. There are no other words but just freaking, ing, adorable! But then there’s his body too that is smoking hot! All his topless photos can literally put my ovaries on fire!

Jungkook, indeed, is the physical man of my dreams. To be exact, of my wild, wild, wild fantasies.

Now, can you blame me that I just can’t un-match the guy, hoping that I’ll get a chance one day to shoot my cupid arrow right at his hypothalamus?

“Is he that good-looking?”

I shake my head. “He’s that god-looking. I worship his hotness. Lili, what should I do? I really want a date with him, but I don’t want to be just a buddy.”

“You know, your problem would have been solved already if your ual principles were as potty as your mouth is. Just go out with him once. What do you know, maybe his intentions aren’t what you thought after all.”

I show her a meme-worthy face, finding what she said to be extremely funny. She rolls her eyes in response.

“But if it’s really he’s only after, then what the hell and just go for it.” Lili shrugs. “Life’s too short, and you’ve been dry for almost half a year now, I bet your gets excited just by hearing the word ‘’.”

I hate how she knows me so well. 

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