"Love, san ka na?"

 

"Mahal, kakasabi ko lang na pauwi na ko. Amp."

 

Napangiti nanaman ako. 

 

"Wala lang. I really like it when you call me that."

 

I can feel her grinning from over the phone.

 

"Alin? Mahal?" I heard her laugh a little.

 

"Isa pa." Utos ko.

 

"Mahal, kaya tayo nasasabihang corny nila Seulgi eh." Reklamo nya naman pero alam kong masaya rin 'to.

 

"Sisikmuraan ko si Seulgi pag narinig kong sinabihan ka nyang corny." At napatawa nanaman s'ya.

 

Damn, music to the ears. My ears. Mahal na mahal ko 'to.

 

"Jisoo, love, come home na." I said tenderly.

 

"Jennie, mahal, on my way to you na." She answered with same tone.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you, now and always."

 

And I remember how we started. Lahat na ng problema naibato na sa'min.

 

Pamilya. Panahon. Pagkakataon. 

 

It was the hardest path but she's my only destination. And I'm so, so glad that I never gave up on her. For I wouldn't know, I'll never feel, what real happiness is. Us.

 

I remember when we met. She's this chic na tahimik, shy, and all, but the first word na sinabi nya sakin, weirdly, was a huge factor on why I was so in love with her.

 

She's humorous but she knows when to be serious. Good thing she knows that she needs to be serious with me.

 

 

"Hi." I greeted with a smile. She caught my attention on our very first day.

 

"Hatdog." Sagot nya naman sabay tawa. Kengkoy pala amputa.

 

But I think I liked her even more.

 

 

And then I remember when she first asked me out - well technically, I asked her out. She's got this little pride that sometimes she thinks that it's her responsibility to initiate something.

 

 

"Samahan mo ko sa lantern parade. Date tayo." I said without hesitation.

 

Damn, it actually took me weeks to actually get the courage. If she rejects me, I'm going to punch her in the guts for real.

 

"Bakit ka naman nangwa-warshock? Masama yan." Sabi nya sabay tawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa.

 

Pero nakakadala ang mga ngiti nya. Putangina.

 

"Seryoso ko, Kim Jisoo." Sabi ko naman at kunwaring nagkunot ng noo. Galit ako. Galit ako. Galit ako.

 

Tumigil naman sya at ngumiti. Putangina wag ganyan. Ang hina ko sa mga ngiti mo.

 

"Seryoso din ako Jennie. Tsaka ako nga dapat mag-aaya sayo wag ka mangunguna." And she pouts. Stop, oh my god.

 

"Will you be my date sa lantern parade? Oh, rhyme yan. Special thanks to Wendy." Sabay tawa nya ulit. At ako naman ang ngumiti.

 

"Yes." At ayan nanaman ang putanginang ngiti nya.

 

That very moment, I knew I was falling deeper.

 

Kim Jisoo, mahal na yata kita.

 

 

And then the first problem occured. My jealousy. Nililigawan nya pa lang ako noon. That was supposed to be me courting her pero as usual, hindi nanaman nagpatalo.

 

Childish , but damn, I was blinded. Inaway ko sya. That first fight na agad natapos dahil alam na alam nya kung paano ako i-assure na ako lang.

 

 

"Akala ko ba nakikipag-friends lang bakit may pag-akbay ha?" Agad kong tanong pagpasok pa lang namin sa dressing room ng gymnasium. She's going to be the lead in the play I wrote. She have always wanted to be an actress and me, a writer.

 

Nakita kong may pag-akbay sakanya ang supposedly male lead na nakuha. Kung alam ko lang sana sinipa ko muna yun sa noo para di na sumali.

 

"Jen, wala lang sakin yun. Tsaka we're trying to build chemistry lang. Pati naman kila Mark ganun ah." Hinawakan nya ko sa balikat at hinarap sakanya. "Jennina Marie."

 

"Tangina mo." Natawa na man sya. Hilig nya ko tawagin ng ganyan. FYI, hindi ko yan pangalan.

 

"Hindi ba sinabi ko sayo noon pa, no to hatdog. Mamamatay na lang ako bago ko pumatol sa hatdog." Sabi nya naman na may malaking ngiti. "At saka, ikaw lang. You are more than enough. You are more than all I ever wanted. You give me more than what I deserve. And right now I know, ikaw lang. Now and always."

 

"Now and always?" I saw how sincere she was. She's almost crying. Paiyakin ko kaya muna

 

Charot lang di ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang makita syang umiiyak.

 

"Now and always." Mariin nyang sagot.

 

Kim Jisoo, mahal na mahal na kita. Wag ka sanang mawala. Hinding-hindi ako sasaya sa iba. Hindi ko na yata kaya na wala ka.

 

 

And the time we almost broke up because of the cliché "layuan mo ang anak ko" ng mga magulang ko. And I was so glad that it was me who held so tight. I was sad that she almost gave up on us, but I know that she's doing that for me.

 

 

I stood up in front of her door, rain wet and all. Hijo de puta lakas maka-telenovela.

 

She was just a starting actress then. A couple of commercials and cameo here and there. But she's starting to make noise. That's my girl, of course.

 

My parents thought that having an actress of a girlfriend will be bad for the family. I am the girlfriend, duh. I knew that she's good for me. No. She's the best for me.

 

And the moment she opened the door, hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip. Niyakap ko sya ng napaka-higpit.

 

"I will give up everything. Everything. For you, Soo." 

 

With no hesitation she hugged me back. 

 

"Stupid. Naglayas ka ba?" Tanong nya na may piyok pa. She's been crying.

 

"Sayo ako masaya. Sayo lang ako sasaya." Inilayo ko sya ng kaunti para makita ko sya.

 

Nasasaktan rin sya. The more that I want to make this work. I want to make us work. I want to make it with her.

 

"I can work harder. I'm going to work harder. For us. Don't give up on us, Soo. I'm starting to send my works on different publications. You believe in me right? I can make it. I know. But I can't make it with you. Don't give up on me, Soo. Please. Mas hindi ko kakayanin kung wala ka."

 

And if I have to beg, the gods, the deities, the anitos. I will.

 

"You don't have to beg, Jen." And she rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry that I was weak. I thought that it was the best for you." Her voice was small. She's guilty.

 

"You are the best for me." And with that she raised her head. More tears, but more firm. Her gaze was firm.

 

"Hinding-hindi na kita bibitawan, mahal."

 

And I felt my heart jump flip forwards and backwards. I am happy. I was so happy with what she called me.

 

"I love you." And I think kami na, right? I finally said the magic words.

 

"I love you, now and always." And there's that smile again. "Sabay tayong tatanda."

 

Oo naman. Ikaw lang at ako. Hanggang sa katapusan ng ating mga buhay.

 

 

Sabay kaming nangarap at ngayon, unti-unti na naming tinutupad ang aming mga pangarap.

 

She's finally a lead role for a movie version of my recently published book. A freaking zombie fiction. Ha, who would've thought I'll be into fictions. The ever so realistic Jennie Kim. But who cares anyway?

 

My reality will bring my work to life. Damn Kim Jisoo. The love of my life.

 

Ang tagal mo love.

 

She's actually on her way home na from her shoot.

 

I heard my phone ring again. There she is.

 

"Hey, love."

 

But I heard a different voice answer. Sino to? Baka may kabit kang hatdog Kim Jisoo sinasabi ko sayo. Makakatikim ka ng jumbong sapak.

 

"Ms. Kim? Jennie Kim?" What he said next was blurry and the next thing I knew, I was down on my knees.

 

No, no. This can't be happening.

 

She's coming home to me.

 

She said she's on her way home. To me.

 

Not my love. Not my Jisoo.

 

"Ms. Kim? Are you there? Ms. Jisoo Kim was brought at Kingston Medical Hospital. Please come as soon as possible. There's waivers needed to be signed for the operation."

 

I dropped the phone and covered my ears.

 

That's not true. 

 

That's not true.

 

That's not true.

 

Jisoo. My Jisoo.

 

I grabbed my keys and drove to that stupid hospital lying about my Jisoo. Red lights? I don't care. I want to see my only light.

 

Jisoo, love, hintayin mo ko please.

 

 

And there she is. The love of my life. Lying in a hospital bed - almost lifeless.

 

Hindi ko pinansin lahat ng sinusubukang magsalita at kumausap. Naririnig ko na sila Seulgi mula sa malayo. Pero sayo lang ang atensyon ko.

 

"Jisoo, love. I'm here." I held her hand tight. I saw a drop of tear roll down her cheek.

 

Nandito na ko, love. Ako lang gusto mong makita, hindi ba? Dilat ka na.

 

And with every long annoying beep of the hospital's stupid machine. I screamed no.

 

No. This can't be happening.

 

No. Please. I'm begging you. 

 

No. I'm not losing you.

 

No. Please. Don't take my everything.

 

Not my Jisoo.

 

They were trying to hold me back but I don't want to let go. I'll never let you go. Dito lang ako sa tabi mo, love. Hindi kita iiwan.

 

Hindi ba sabi mo hindi mo rin ako iiwan?

 

And then I heard the longest beep. I held my breath. And you stopped yours.

 

 

'Wag mo kong iwan, love. Please.

 

Now and always sabi mo, hindi ba? Did you just lie?

 

I felt someone hug me as she tried to stop me from falling to the floor. Lavander. Irene.

 

She tried to pull me away from you pero hindi ako pumayag. I held onto your hand. The tightest I can. I need you.

 

My love, Jisoo.

 

Answer me.

 

Bakit bigla ka na lang nawala?

 

Love, paano naman ako? Hindi di ko kayang mag-isa.

 

Hindi ko kaya na wala ka.

 

-------

 

Listen to this after.

 

https://link.tospotify.com/wNwpN9n6wbb

 

I tried. Wala po sana magagalit 🤧🤧🤧

 

 

 

 

 

"Love, san ka na?"

 

"Mahal, kakasabi ko lang na pauwi na ko. Amp."

 

Napangiti nanaman ako. 

 

"Wala lang. I really like it when you call me that."

 

I can feel her grinning from over the phone.

 

"Alin? Mahal?" I heard her laugh a little.

 

"Isa pa." Utos ko.

 

"Mahal, kaya tayo nasasabihang corny nila Seulgi eh." Reklamo nya naman pero alam kong masaya rin 'to.

 

"Sisikmuraan ko si Seulgi pag narinig kong sinabihan ka nyang corny." At napatawa nanaman s'ya.

 

Damn, music to the ears. My ears. Mahal na mahal ko 'to.

 

"Jisoo, love, come home na." I said tenderly.

 

"Jennie, mahal, on my to you na." She answered with same tone.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you, now and always."

 

And I remember how we started. Lahat na ng problema naibato na sa'min.

 

Pamilya. Panahon. Pagkakataon. 

 

It was the hardest path but she's my only destination. And I'm so, so glad that I never gave up on her. For I wouldn't know, I'll never feel, what real happiness is. Us.

 

I remember when we met. She's this chic na tahimik, shy, and all, but the first word na sinabi nya sakin, weirdly, was a huge factor on why I was so in love with her.

 

She's humorous but she knows when to be serious. Good thing she knows that she needs to be serious with me.

 

 

"Hi." I greeted with a smile. She caught my attention on our very first day.

 

"Hatdog." Sagot nya naman sabay tawa. Kengkoy pala amputa.

 

But I think I liked her even more.

 

 

And then I remember when she first asked me out - well technically, I asked her out. She's got this little pride that sometimes she thinks that it's her responsibility to initiate something.

 

 

"Samahan mo ko sa lantern parade. Date tayo." I said without hesitation.

 

Damn, it actually took me weeks to actually get the courage. If she rejects me, I'm going to punch her in the guts for real.

 

"Bakit ka naman nangwa-warshock? Masama yan." Sabi nya sabay tawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa.

 

Pero nakakadala ang mga ngiti nya. Putangina.

 

"Seryoso ko, Kim Jisoo." Sabi ko naman at kunwaring nagkunot ng noo. Galit ako. Galit ako. Galit ako.

 

Tumigil naman sya at ngumiti. Putangina wag ganyan. Ang hina ko sa mga ngiti mo.

 

"Seryoso din ako Jennie. Tsaka ako nga dapat mag-aaya sayo wag ka mangunguna." And she pouts. Stop, oh my god.

 

"Will you be my date sa lantern parade? Oh, rhyme yan. Special thanks to Wendy." Sabay tawa nya ulit. At ako naman ang ngumiti.

 

"Yes." At ayan nanaman ang putanginang ngiti nya.

 

That very moment, I knew I was falling deeper.

 

Kim Jisoo, mahal na yata kita.

 

 

And then the first problem occured. My jealousy. Nililigawan nya pa lang ako noon. That was supposed to be me courting her pero as usual, hindi nanaman nagpatalo.

 

Childish , but damn, I was blinded. Inaway ko sya. That first fight na agad natapos dahil alam na alam nya kung paano ako i-assure na ako lang.

 

 

"Akala ko ba nakikipag-friends lang bakit may pag-akbay ha?" Agad kong tanong pagpasok pa lang namin sa dressing room ng gymnasium. She's going to be the lead in the play I wrote. She have always wanted to be an actress and me, a writer.

 

Nakita kong may pag-akbay sakanya ang supposedly male lead na nakuha. Kung alam ko lang sana sinipa ko muna yun sa noo para di na sumali.

 

"Jen, wala lang sakin yun. Tsaka we're trying to build chemistry lang. Pati naman kila Mark ganun ah." Hinawakan nya ko sa balikat at hinarap sakanya. "Jennina Marie."

 

"Tangina mo." Natawa na man sya. Hilig nya ko tawagin ng ganyan. FYI, hindi ko yan pangalan.

 

"Hindi ba sinabi ko sayo noon pa, no to hatdog. Mamamatay na lang ako bago ko pumatol sa hatdog." Sabi nya naman na may malaking ngiti. "At saka, ikaw lang. You are more than enough. You are more than all I ever wanted. You give me more than what I deserve. And right now I know, ikaw lang. Now and always."

 

"Now and always?" I saw how sincere she was. She's almost crying. Paiyakin ko kaya muna

 

Charot lang di ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang makita syang umiiyak.

 

"Now and always." Mariin nyang sagot.

 

Kim Jisoo, mahal na mahal na kita. Wag ka sanang mawala. Hinding-hindi ako sasaya sa iba. Hindi ko na yata kaya na wala ka.

 

 

And the time we almost broke up because of the cliché "layuan mo ang anak ko" ng mga magulang ko. And I was so glad that it was me who held so tight. I was sad that she almost gave up on us, but I know that she's doing that for me.

 

 

I stood up in front of her door, rain wet and all. Hijo de puta lakas maka-telenovela.

 

She was just a starting actress then. A couple of commercials and cameo here and there. But she's starting to make noise. That's my girl, of course.

 

My parents thought that having an actress of a girlfriend will be bad for the family. I am the girlfriend, duh. I knew that she's good for me. No. She's the best for me.

 

And the moment she opened the door, hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip. Niyakap ko sya ng napaka-higpit.

 

"I will give up everything. Everything. For you, Soo." 

 

With no hesitation she hugged me back. 

 

"Stupid. Naglayas ka ba?" Tanong nya na may piyok pa. She's been crying.

 

"Sayo ako masaya. Sayo lang ako sasaya." Inilayo ko sya ng kaunti para makita ko sya.

 

Nasasaktan rin sya. The more that I want to make this work. I want to make us work. I want to make it with her.

 

"I can work harder. I'm going to work harder. For us. Don't give up on us, Soo. I'm starting to send my works on different publishing house. You believe in me right? I can make it. I know. But I can't make it with you. Don't give up on me, Soo. Please. Mas hindi ko kakayanin kung wala ka."

 

And if I have to beg, the gods, the deities, the anitos. I will.

 

"You don't have to beg, Jen." And she rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry that I was weak. I thought that it was the best for you." Her voice was small. She's guilty.

 

"You are the best for me." And with that she raised her head. More tears, but more firm. Her gaze was firm.

 

"Hinding-hindi na kita bibitawan, mahal."

 

And I felt my heart jump flip forwards and backwards. I am happy. I was so happy with what she called me.

 

"I love you." And I think kami na, right? I finally said the magic words.

 

"I love you, now and always." And there's that smile again. "Sabay tayong tatanda."

 

Oo naman. Ikaw lang at ako. Hanggang sa katapusan ng ating mga buhay.

 

 

Sabay kaming nangarap at ngayon, unti-unti na naming tinutupad ang aming mga pangarap.

 

She's finally a lead role for a movie version of my recently published book. A freaking zombie fiction. Ha, who would've thought I'll be into fictions. The ever so realistic Jennie Kim. But who cares anyway?

 

My reality will bring my work to life. Damn Kim Jisoo. The love of my life.

 

Ang tagal mo love.

 

She's actually on her way home na from her shoot.

 

I heard my phone ring again. There she is.

 

"Hey, love."

 

But I heard a different voice answer. Sino to? Baka may kabit kang hatdog Kim Jisoo sinasabi ko sayo. Makakatikim ka ng jumbong sapak.

 

"Ms. Kim? Jennie Kim?" What he said next was blurry and the next thing I knew, I was down on my knees.

 

No, no. This can't be happening.

 

She's coming home to me.

 

She said she's on her way home. To me.

 

Not my love. Not my Jisoo.

 

"Ms. Kim? Are you there? Ms. Jisoo Kim was brought at Kingston Medical Hospital. Please come as soon as possible. There's waivers needed to be signed for the operation."

 

I dropped the phone and covered my ears.

 

That's not true. 

 

That's not true.

 

That's not true.

 

Jisoo. My Jisoo.

 

I grabbed my keys and drove to that stupid hospital lying about my Jisoo. Red lights? I don't care. I want to see my only light.

 

Jisoo, love, hintayin mo ko please.

 

 

And there she is. The love of my life. Lying in a hospital bed - almost lifeless.

 

Hindi ko pinansin lahat ng sinusubukang magsalita at kumausap. Naririnig ko na sila Seulgi mula sa malayo. Pero sayo lang ang atensyon ko.

 

"Jisoo, love. I'm here." I held her hand tight. I saw a drop of tear roll down her cheek.

 

Nandito na ko, love. Ako lang gusto mong makita, hindi ba? Dilat ka na.

 

And with every long annoying beep of the hospital's stupid machine. I screamed no.

 

No. This can't be happening.

 

No. Please. I'm begging you. 

 

No. I'm not losing you.

 

No. Please. Don't take my everything.

 

Not my Jisoo.

 

They were trying to hold me back but I don't want to let go. I'll never let you go. Dito lang ako sa tabi mo, love. Hindi kita iiwan.

 

Hindi ba sabi mo hindi mo rin ako iiwan?

 

And then I heard the longest beep. I held my breath. And you stopped yours.

 

 

'Wag mo kong iwan, love. Please.

 

Now and always sabi mo, hindi ba? Did you just lie?

 

I felt someone hug me as she tried to stop me from falling to the floor. Lavander. Irene.

 

She tried to pull me away from you pero hindi ako pumayag. I held onto your hand. The tightest I can. I need you.

 

My love, Jisoo.

 

Answer me.

 

Bakit bigla ka na lang nawala?

 

Love, paano naman ako? Hindi di ko kayang mag-isa.

 

Hindi ko kaya na wala ka.

 

-------

 

Listen to this after.

 

https://link.tospotify.com/wNwpN9n6wbb

 

I tried. Wala po sana magagalit 🤧🤧🤧

 

 

 

 

 

"Love, san ka na?"

"Mahal, kakasabi ko lang na pauwi na ko. Amp."

Napangiti nanaman ako.

"Wala lang. I really like it when you call me that."

I can feel her grinning from over the phone.

"Alin? Mahal?" I heard her laugh a little.

"Isa pa." Utos ko.

"Mahal, kaya tayo nasasabihang corny nila Seulgi eh." Reklamo nya naman pero alam kong masaya rin 'to.

"Sisikmuraan ko si Seulgi pag narinig kong sinabihan ka nyang corny." At napatawa nanaman s'ya.

Damn, music to the ears. My ears. Mahal na mahal ko 'to.

"Jisoo, love, come home na." I said tenderly.

"Jennie, mahal, on my to you na." She answered with same tone.

"I love you."

"I love you, now and always."

And I remember how we started. Lahat na ng problema naibato na sa'min.

Pamilya. Panahon. Pagkakataon.

It was the hardest path but she's my only destination. And I'm so, so glad that I never gave up on her. For I wouldn't know, I'll never feel, what real happiness is. Us.

I remember when we met. She's this chic na tahimik, shy, and all, but the first word na sinabi nya sakin, weirdly, was a huge factor on why I was so in love with her.

She's humorous but she knows when to be serious. Good thing she knows that she needs to be serious with me.

 

"Hi." I greeted with a smile. She caught my attention on our very first day.

"Hatdog." Sagot nya naman sabay tawa. Kengkoy pala amputa.

But I think I liked her even more.

And then I remember when she first asked me out - well technically, I asked her out. She's got this little pride that sometimes she thinks that it's her responsibility to initiate something.

"Samahan mo ko sa lantern parade. Date tayo." I said without hesitation.

Damn, it actually took me weeks to actually get the courage. If she rejects me, I'm going to punch her in the guts for real.

"Bakit ka naman nangwa-warshock? Masama yan." Sabi nya sabay tawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa. Hindi ako natatawa.

Pero nakakadala ang mga ngiti nya. Putangina.

"Seryoso ko, Kim Jisoo." Sabi ko naman at kunwaring nagkunot ng noo. Galit ako. Galit ako. Galit ako.

Tumigil naman sya at ngumiti. Putangina wag ganyan. Ang hina ko sa mga ngiti mo.

"Seryoso din ako Jennie. Tsaka ako nga dapat mag-aaya sayo wag ka mangunguna." And she pouts. Stop, oh my god.

"Will you be my date sa lantern parade? Oh, rhyme yan. Special thanks to Wendy." Sabay tawa nya ulit. At ako naman ang ngumiti.

"Yes." At ayan nanaman ang putanginang ngiti nya.

That very moment, I knew I was falling deeper.

Kim Jisoo, mahal na yata kita.

And then the first problem occured. My jealousy. Nililigawan nya pa lang ako noon. That was supposed to be me courting her pero as usual, hindi nanaman nagpatalo.

Childish , but damn, I was blinded. Inaway ko sya. That first fight na agad natapos dahil alam na alam nya kung paano ako i-assure na ako lang.

"Akala ko ba nakikipag-friends lang bakit may pag-akbay ha?" Agad kong tanong pagpasok pa lang namin sa dressing room ng gymnasium. She's going to be the lead in the play I wrote. She have always wanted to be an actress and me, a writer.

Nakita kong may pag-akbay sakanya ang supposedly male lead na nakuha. Kung alam ko lang sana sinipa ko muna yun sa noo para di na sumali.

"Jen, wala lang sakin yun. Tsaka we're trying to build chemistry lang. Pati naman kila Mark ganun ah." Hinawakan nya ko sa balikat at hinarap sakanya. "Jennina Marie."

"Tangina mo." Natawa na man sya. Hilig nya ko tawagin ng ganyan. FYI, hindi ko yan pangalan.

"Hindi ba sinabi ko sayo noon pa, no to hatdog. Mamamatay na lang ako bago ko pumatol sa hatdog." Sabi nya naman na may malaking ngiti. "At saka, ikaw lang. You are more than enough. You are more than all I ever wanted. You give me more than what I deserve. And right now I know, ikaw lang. Now and always."

"Now and always?" I saw how sincere she was. She's almost crying. Paiyakin ko kaya muna

Charot lang di ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang makita syang umiiyak.

"Now and always." Mariin nyang sagot.

Kim Jisoo, mahal na mahal na kita. Wag ka sanang mawala. Hinding-hindi ako sasaya sa iba. Hindi ko na yata kaya na wala ka.

And the time we almost broke up because of the cliché "layuan mo ang anak ko" ng mga magulang ko. And I was so glad that it was me who held so tight. I was sad that she almost gave up on us, but I know that she's doing that for me.

I stood up in front of her door, rain wet and all. Hijo de puta lakas maka-telenovela.

She was just a starting actress then. A couple of commercials and cameo here and there. But she's starting to make noise. That's my girl, of course.

My parents thought that having an actress of a girlfriend will be bad for the family. I am the girlfriend, duh. I knew that she's good for me.  No. She's the best for me.

And the moment she opened the door, hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip. Niyakap ko sya ng napaka-higpit.

"I will give up everything. Everything. For you, Soo."

With no hesitation she hugged me back.

"Stupid. Naglayas ka ba?" Tanong nya na may piyok pa. She's been crying.

"Sayo ako masaya. Sayo lang ako sasaya." Inilayo ko sya ng kaunti para makita ko sya.

Nasasaktan rin sya. The more that I want to make this work. I want to make us work. I want to make it with her.

"I can work harder. I'm going to work harder. For us. Don't give up on us, Soo. I'm starting to send my works on different publications. You believe in me right? I can make it. I know. But I can't make it with you. Don't give up on me, Soo. Please. Mas hindi ko kakayanin kung wala ka."

And if I have to beg, the gods, the deities, the anitos. I will.

"You don't have to beg, Jen." And she rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry that I was weak. I thought that it was the best for you." Her voice was small. She's guilty.

"You are the best for me." And with that she raised her head. More tears, but more firm. Her gaze was firm.

"Hinding-hindi na kita bibitawan, mahal."

And I felt my heart jump flip forwards and backwards. I am happy. I was so happy with what she called me.

"I love you." And I think kami na, right? I finally said the magic words.

"I love you, now and always." And there's that smile again. "Sabay tayong tatanda."

Oo naman. Ikaw lang at ako. Hanggang sa katapusan ng ating mga buhay.

Sabay kaming nangarap at ngayon, unti-unti na naming tinutupad ang aming mga pangarap.

She's finally a lead role for a movie version of my recently published book. A freaking zombie fiction. Ha, who would've thought I'll be into fictions. The ever so realistic Jennie Kim. But who cares anyway?

My reality will bring my work to life. Damn Kim Jisoo. The love of my life.

Ang tagal mo love.

She's actually on her way home na from her shoot.

I heard my phone ring again. There she is.

"Hey, love."

But I heard a different voice answer. Sino to? Baka may kabit kang hatdog Kim Jisoo sinasabi ko sayo. Makakatikim ka ng jumbong sapak.

"Ms. Kim? Jennie Kim?" What he said next was blurry and the next thing I knew, I was down on my knees.

No, no. This can't be happening.

She's coming home to me.

She said she's on her way home. To me.

Not my love. Not my Jisoo.

"Ms. Kim? Are you there? Ms. Jisoo Kim was brought at Kingston Medical Hospital. Please come as soon as possible. There's waivers needed to be signed for the operation."

I dropped the phone and covered my ears.

That's not true.

That's not true.

That's not true.

Jisoo. My Jisoo.

I grabbed my keys and drove to that stupid hospital lying about my Jisoo. Red lights? I don't care. I want to see my only light.

Jisoo, love, hintayin mo ko please.

And there she is. The love of my life. Lying in a hospital bed - almost lifeless.

Hindi ko pinansin lahat ng sinusubukang magsalita at kumausap. Naririnig ko na sila Seulgi mula sa malayo.