The night sky is slowly turning to warm colors. The only sound heard is the purring of an engine rolling down the highway. The white sedan comes to a stop on the side of the highway, the brunette driver turns off the car, the silence now present. Limping back against the seat, she sits there staring at the rising sun beginning to peek out from the mountain. Her big soft brown eyes reflect the view. With a large breath, she closes her eyes, her memories come flooding back.

Yuqi hears the light tapping sound of her footsteps coming to a stop in the dead of the night as she reaches the door of hers and Soojin’s shared apartment. She has come back from hanging with her new friend she met at work, happy to meet new people who are also from China. Knowing Soojin is sleeping, she unlocks and opens the door slowly. She sees her sleeping on the couch with the muted TV on as expected. Sighing, she quietly grabs a blanket from their room and drapes over her fetus figure. Turning off the tv, she heads to bed. She thought her girlfriend would stop waiting for her to get home, when it is obvious she’ll be late. Her lover doesn't have to worry about her, they’ve been together for four years, she should know Yuqi will always get home to her. With that in mind, she drifts off to sleep. Unknowingly the girl in mind was awoken when she entered. Now laying there alone, she bites her lip as silent tears slip from her eyes.

The next morning she walks to the kitchen to see Soojin gazing at her untouched mug of coffee on the counter with a serious set expression. Knowing she is upset, she walks up beside her. She brings her hand up together to get ready to start apologizing, but before she opens . Soojin beat her to it.

“I’m tired... “The older girl says pressing her lip together, still looking at her coffee. “I want my girlfriend back.”

Unfortunately, Yuqi couldn't see the warning. “Aw baby, I’m here now. I’m sorry, let's go out today. It’ll be my treat.”

“Yuqi. If you don't stop being like this…” The cat-like eye girl gulp, finally looks at her before uttering her next word. Her dark mocha eyes looked almost black and glossy. “I’ll be leaving.”

The younger blink in surprise. “Ya, don't say that. I said I’m sorry. Please forgive Yuqi?” The girl says cutely as she tries to back hug her girl, hoping to make her stop being so upset.The wrong move, the dark-haired girl’s eyes briefly flash disbelief and pain before she pushes past her arms and locks herself in their room. The startled girl then pouted at being ignored, on her lip, she decided to leave her alone. She knows Soojin loves her too much to stay mad at her for long.

The next time she arrived late, a week later, she was surprised to walk into a completely dark room and once she turned the light on, there was an empty couch. Her gut twist uncomfortably, she knew something was wrong, quickly walking to their room. Switching the light on, she sees all of her lover's possessions gone. The room looks so empty now, she gets hit with a painful tug on her heart. Taking out her phone, she rushes out the door and down the stairs, calling Soojin but immediately gets hit with a dead-end voicemail. Knowing Soojin won't answer her, she calls Soojin’s mom.

“Hello?”

“I’m so sorry for calling late, but Soojin isn’t home. I'm just worried about where she is, is she with you?” Yuqi hurriedly says as she arrives at her car, her hand fumbling a bit with the handle, she finally pulls it open and gets in.

“Oh dear, no she isn't with me. She is probably staying with a friend, I wouldn't worry about her. I know she won't be so reckless. I'm sorry sweetie but it is very late and I got to go.” The tired woman says.

“Of course, again I’m sorry for disturbing you. Goodnight. Please let me know if you have heard anything from her.” Her eyes are starting to sting as her vision gets blurry, clutches her phone a bit tighter.

“I will sweetie, goodnight.” Once she hangs up, her finger quickly moves and presses on the next person to call.

“Shuhua, is Soojin there?” The choke up girl says the moment she heard the phone get picked up.

“She was here a while ago…” After a moment of hearing sniffing, she cautiously asks. “Are you okay?”

Trying to calm down her sniffling, she replies,” I just need to know where she is. Do you know anything?” She shut her eyes tight.

There was a moment of silence, now letting her tears fall freely when she opened her eyes again. She starts begging, her native tongue slipping out. “Shuhua, please tell me. I need to talk to her. Please. I just, I just, please Shuhua. Give me something!”

“I”m sorry, Yuqi.” After hearing that, she hangs up immediately. Calling her other friends, but no one was telling her anything. Frustrated, she aggressively throws her phone to the side of the passenger door. Trying to see through her tears, she jabs her keys at the ignition a few times until it enters. The sound of the engine starting and tired burning go through the whole parking lot. Speeding through the streets and stopping at every place that she might be. First, when she arrives at the park, they would always go to get their favorite ice cream from a truck that would stop by every Thursday. Soojin would always get chocolate mint and she’ll get strawberry. Filling with her ice cream, she would mischievously try to kiss her and being pushed away as the slightly taller girl complained that she knows she hates mixing the flavors. After a while, they slowly stop going there every week. Getting out of the car, she desperately looks around, and seeing no sign of life, she speeds off again. Next, it is the river they would take walks by. Yuqi loves to wrap an arm around her waist and lace her hand together with hers. They have talked about adopting a dog and a cat in the future and to take them for a walk along the river. Blinking away more tears away, she continues driving along the river, wishing she can find her and begs for a second chance. Still not seeing anything, she stops the car. is trying to choke down her pain, but she has always been impatient. Her fists start hitting the dashboard as her tears soak up her face and hair sticking to her skin.

“Soojin!” The broken girl screams at the windshield, hoping she’ll hear her.

She loudly cries and curses at herself. Praying that she isn't too late, and can fix all of her mistakes. After a few minutes, she wipes at her eyes to get rid of the blurriness and continues to look all over the city and outside of it. She’ll turn everything inside out if she has to. At every new location, she keeps praying with every fiber of her being that she will find her. Before she knows it, she sees the sun is rising. Her tears are all dried up, dull empty bloodshot eyes, crusted salt on her cheeks to her chin. Along with a large stain on her shirt that had soaked up all her pain. Clutching the steering wheel tighter, she drives back on the highway to go to the apartment that no longer feels like home. A field of red wildflower comes to view. Remembering Soojin smiling beautifully as she talks about how pretty the flower looks like, as they were going home from visiting her family.

Losing her grip on the wheel she pulls over and gets out. She tiredly walks toward it and scans them until one small weak half-bloom caught her eye. She gets on her knee in front of it and digs carefully at the dirt, roots coming with it when she pulls it out. Getting back in her car, wishing she could’ve pulled over that day to pluck one for her, could've made her laugh more, should've thought more about her. Gently setting the flower on the passenger seat, not caring if it’s getting dirty, she should’ve loved her more.

Bright light shines behind her eyelids, and it brings her back to the present. She blinks away the oncoming tears before getting out. Walking toward the now very familiar field of flower, she routinely looks for the prettiest one. Finding it, she slowly crouches down and plucks it. Her eyes gaze at it with hope and longing, carefully holding and getting back in the car. She set the flower in a bottle already filled with water in the cupholder. On her way back, she still searches her surroundings, looking for a familiar long black hair her finger misses running through. Turning off her car once she arrives at her place. Taking the bottle holding the red beauty, she unlocks her door. Walking in, her feet kick and push at the empty containers to get through. Reaching the kitchen counter, she places the flower in the glass vase. Along with many other same red, the oldest already completely withered and dry up, petals laying by the vase. Each flower beside it looks less and less wither with its day being plucked are a few days apart. Yuqi walks to her balcony window, taking the water bottle along. She stopped in front of a pot, pouring all the water into the soil of a very bright and healthy red blooming flower, happily sitting in the sun.

“I love you. Jinjin.” She says to the first red flower.