Kim Seok Jin came to the bank to open a savings account for his grandmother. He was tall and had an easy laugh. Jisoo could tell that he was from the city- he had an air about him.

 The second time he came, he was with his grandmother. Jisoo knew Grandma Bok Ja. She was her grandmother’s friend.

“This is my handsome grandson,” Grandma Bok Ja told Jisoo. “He is such a good son and an even better grandson.”

“Please, Grandma,” said the boy abashedly.

“He works in Seoul but he comes here often to take care of me,” Grandma Bok Ja continued. “He’s handsome and kind and works hard. Isn’t he a good catch?”

“Grandma, if you continue, I’m going to leave,” the boy protested.

Jisoo only laughed.

But Kim Seok Jin did not leave. At least not for a while. One day, he asked to take Jisoo out for coffee after work. There was nothing else going on in her life so she agreed.

Seok Jin in many ways reminded her of Jiwon. They both had a warm laugh and made people feel comfortable easily. It was easy to fall for him.

He worked as a freelance photographer in Seoul and had flexible working hours. Whenever he could, he would return to town and spend time with Jisoo. Her parents and friends also liked him. In less than a year, Jisoo was sure that she wouldn’t mind marrying him.  

“But what about Jiwon?” Jihae asked when Jisoo told her.

“Jiwon?” The name sounded unfamiliar on her tongue. “Jihae-ah, we were only kids.”

Seok Jin invited her to spend sometime in Seoul with him. Jisoo agreed.

He lived in a modest apartment with lots of windows. Seok Jin said sunlight was important for him.

Life never seemed to stop in Seoul. The lights and cars went on all night. There were no stars in the sky and the water tasted funny. But most of all, people in Seoul were cold and unfriendly. Jisoo would wait in the apartment the whole day waiting for Seok Jin to return. When he did, he’d have work to complete or he’d take her out to meet his friends. They were nice but they had their own private jokes and conversations. His female friends also did nothing to initiate conversations with her. She tried hard to not dwell on how left out she felt. She assured herself that it wouldn’t be like this forever. At least not after marriage.

“Oppa, why don’t you keep any plants in the house?” Jisoo asked.

“You can keep them after you move here,” Seok Jin said off handedly without looking up from his laptop.

Jisoo looked out the window at the concrete jungle stretching for miles and miles and suddenly felt suffocated.

She left Seoul feeling conflicted. She tried to work out all sorts of reason for her unpleasant stay. Of course, it was the new environment and Seok Jin had his work. But just as easily as she had fallen for him, she was suddenly not so sure anymore.

After her visit to Seoul, her mother began hinting at marriage.

“After you leave, I will have more time to spend in the garden,” she’d say to Jisoo nonchalantly.

“Leave where?” Jisoo would return obstinately.

“Hmm? Well, you can’t stay here forever,” her mother would reply evasively.

The first attack happened at work. A sharp pain in her chest that shot through her arms and legs. She stumbled to the bathroom and was found by Seulgi bent over the sink and gasping for air.

She thought and hoped that it was simply an anxiety attack. After all, she had been thinking a lot about marriage and moving to Seoul forever. But the doctor said it was a heart condition. Nothing fatal, said the doctor reassuringly. But she’d have to take medications, avoid stress and eat well.

Her manager made her take some time off work despite her protests. More free time meant more time to think. And she was afraid to think.

Sitting in her bedroom by the window, she looked out at Jiwon’s window and wondered when the bougainvilleas would return again.

“I don’t want to live in Seoul,” she told Seok Jin the next time he visited.

“Is this because you’re sick?” he asked. “Because I don’t care if you are. It won’t be a burden for me.”

“No,” she replied. “I honestly hate Seoul.”

“Kim Jisoo, are you serious?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

He looked lost for words. He swallowed and said eventually, “But your parents expect it. My grandmother expects it.”

She heaved a deep breath. “I just can’t. I don’t think I can. You will find a fine lovely girl who will make you happy but that girl is not me. I’m sorry.”

He did not cry. But neither did she.

Her mother said nothing when Jisoo told her that she had broken it off with Seok Jin.

Alone in her room, she felt as though a weight had lifted off her shoulder.   

In small towns, word spread easily. Everyone heard that Jisoo had broken it off with Grandma Bok Ja’s grandson.  Many called her foolish. She went through her days closing her eyes and ears. She told herself that it would pass. With time, the town would find another victim to taunt.

At the end of that year, Seulgi got engaged to Mino. Jisoo thought of telling Jiwon but it had been years since she even sent him a birthday card. She decided not to in the end. Seulgi’s engagement made her lonelier than ever.