안녕 (Hello)

“Ah, it’s going to rain,” I mumbled to myself as I heard the echo of thunder upon stepping out of my en-suite bathroom. I stepped closer to the window while rubbing my wet hair with my towel- I did have a hairdryer, but I often just let my hair dry naturally instead of using technology. I glanced up into the gloomy sky- there was no single hint of sunlight seen no matter where I looked even though it was only around noon, so I suppose it would be raining for the whole day. I pursed my lips, somehow not liking the gloomy mood that was brought along with the grey sky. It just made me lazy to go out and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed while watching Netflix or YouTube. Unfortunately, I already had plans for today. I would cancel them if I could, but the plan was long overdue, and postponing it even further would just make it seem that I was avoiding this meeting- which I really was, but running away could only last for a limited time before the problem return to bite us back. Just in time, my phone rang and diverted my attention from the bad weather. My lips were automatically tilted up in a smile upon reading the name of the caller that was shown on the screen.

“Hello~” I answered with a singsong and proceeded to sit on the edge of my bed while still facing the huge window. The other line chuckled a bit, “You know, if I don’t know any better, I would’ve thought that you’re really excited for today,” he teased me, knowing full well of how I was really feeling. “Ha,” I deadpanned with a roll of my eyes that made him chuckle again. “Did you just finish the meeting?” I asked when I heard some faint voices that seemed to greet him on the background. He hummed in reply, “Yeah, and I’m heading back to my office now.” My brows furrowed when I heard his answer while glancing at the clock, “Your office? Are you not going out for lunch?” I frowned. Our conversation was halted for a moment as he called out to his cousin. “Unfortunately no,” he continued after a few seconds, “I have quite a lot of documents to catch up, so Jongdae and I will order take-outs.” The said male was heard just a second after, “Hi Seoyeon!”

“Hi Oppa!” I replied, knowing that they were probably in the President’s office right now and I was on loudspeaker, or Jongdae would not have greeted me casually like that. “So, Hyung told me that you’re finally meeting her today?” he asked me. I nodded my head in reply, before realizing that we were not on a video call. “Yeah, you can say that,” I hummed. “I can’t exactly avoid this forever, you know, and we all know that we need to talk about what happened,” I told them. “That’s true,” it was Jongdae’s turn to hum, “Now I’ll go order Hyung and my lunches first, I hope everything will turn out well Yeon-ah, see you!” he bade goodbye and I heard a faint slam of the door.

“Are you still nervous?” the owner of the phone asked. I released a sigh unconsciously, “Sort of,” I shrugged my shoulders. “I mean, I’m not nervous about meeting her, because we’ve chatted each other a few times even after it happened,” I started, “But I’m more afraid of what we will talk about- I’m honestly not ready to talk about it,” I confessed what was on my mind. Like what I told Jongdae, we were all aware that I needed to talk what happened some time ago with the parties involved, but it did not exactly mean that I was ready to do so. It was not like I was still hooked up and were not able to move on- I had completely moved on and was happy with my life; but some things were lost along the way, and those were the things that I regretted the most and wished to be able to retain again.

“I’m sure it will all be alright,” he told me softly, “The talk won’t be that pleasant, but it will be better for both you and Joohyun to lay everything out in the open- to lift off that unsaid tension between the two of you,” he continued. I chewed on my lips, “I know, Oppa...” There was no other way but to talk it out, really, or my friendship with Bae Joohyun would diminish to nothing one day. It was one or the other, and there were no other options. “If only you’re here right now,” I mumbled loud enough for him to hear, suddenly craving for his soft pats on my head or hugs that had been comforting me for these past years. He chuckled lightly at my remark, knowing well that we were both thinking of the same thing.

“Then how about this,” he started, “Call me when you’re done; I’ll pick you up, and we can do whatever you want to do.” I did not need to think twice at the offer, “Call!” I would certainly need his comfort after the emotional moment that most probably would happen in less than an hour. “I’ll try to finish around 5PM, so you don’t have to wait too long,” I told him. “No worries, I can do some more paperwork in the office if you finish later than you think,” he replied. “Just call me when you’re done, Yeon-ah.” I could imagine his soft smile, and it somewhat made my lips tugged upward a bit too, “Yeah, see you later,” I bade him goodbye. “See you,” and we hung up the call.

As if it were perfectly timed, a knock was heard on my door, and it was opened before I could reply. “Hey, you’re ready to go?” my brother’s head popped up from behind the door. “Yeah,” I took my handbag and went out together with him. “Right, what time do you want me to pick you up?” he asked as we walked down the hallway to the direction of the stairs. I gave a teasing glance at him, “What, you prioritize me over your girlfriend? Wen-eonni will get jealous~” I sing-sang. He rolled his eyes at that, “Oh please, we both know that she might dump me instead if I make her favorite little sister wait for her unpunctual brother,” he grumbled and gave me a stink eye. I smirked at that, aware that what my brother had just said was sort-of true. Even if she was his girlfriend, Liu Wen had always told my brother to prioritize family first, no matter what. She had scolded him once when my brother was late from the promised time to pick me up for hanging out when he visited me last year. My brother wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend then, and so he picked her up first before me, belatedly realizing that she was staying on the other side of the city, resulting in a slight tardiness when picking me up. I did not mind it, but apparently Wen did, surprisingly.

“It’s fine Oppa, no need to pick me up,” I answered his question. “Junmyeon-oppa will do that, and we’ll probably go get ice cream first or something, before he drives me home,” I added before he could bombard me. He nodded knowingly, “Right, you’ll need your comfort food.” I simply hummed in reply. “Well if you say so,” he shrugged, “Let’s go- as much as Wen doesn’t mind if I’m late because of family, I still don’t want to be late, and I believe you don’t want to make Joohyun wait too.”

“Of course, Kim Jongin and his magic hand,” I snorted at the story Joohyun just told me. Apparently the two of them and their big families had a family gathering a month ago in Jongin’s family’s house. Just like any typical big family gathering, the younger generation stayed up until late and had some fun together, and they decided to do a singing competition that night, or the karaoke machine they bought would have no use, as Kim Heechul said. They all had fun singing and dancing along to the songs until Jongin’s fifth round of singing came. No one knew how exactly it happened, and even Jongin himself was shellshocked, but in the middle of his singing, the microphone head suddenly fell off and rolled down on the floor, leaving only the handle on Jongin’s hand. Everyone laughed at the incident except for an embarrassed Jongin who decided to call it a night.

“Magic hand indeed,” Joohyun snickered and took a sip of her drink. I mirrored her action, blowing on my steaming caramel macchiato before sipping on it. We were currently sitting in Lusso Barista Lab in Cheongdam-dong to enjoy the rest of the time we had, right after having late lunch in a French restaurant nearby. The time we spent so far today was weirdly awkward for me, and I could see from her body language that she was feeling the same. Never have I thought that this kind of discomfiture would happen between us, but then again, had gone down the hill and everything changed. Both of us eventually found our way back and somehow managed to salvage the almost broken string of friendship after some time, but like what Junmyeon said earlier, there was still this unsaid tension between us two- one that had not been and needed to be addressed properly.

“So,” I put my cup down, desperate to diminish the tension in the air, “Shin Seungho, huh?” I asked her with a smile. Joohyun’s cheeks turned a little bit red as she coughed lightly and put her cup down too, not expecting that kind of question to be asked. “How did you meet him?” I wondered as I leaned back on my seat. “He was a classmate in junior high, actually, but we lost contact after graduation, and only met again at the school reunion last year,” she told me, “And well, we’re just going with the flow from there,” she shrugged. I wondered briefly if I should ask the question that was on the tip of my tongue, but I suppose it could be a topic opener, somehow. “Oh? Last year?” I tilted my head, “Was it before or after Sehun?”

I saw how she froze up for a second before taking a deep breath, most likely realizing that there was no other way around the topic- one way or another, we would talk about Oh Sehun, and it was probably better sooner than later. I did not know for sure how they ended their relationship, as all I know was that they parted ways only after around a year together. I had somewhat reconciled with Joohyun when their broke-up happened, but just like now, the topic of Oh Sehun was a taboo at that time. We had never mentioned his name, until what I did just now.

“I suppose it was somewhere... in between?” she answered after a while. Now that answer surprised me, because Joohyun only told me that they were done when we were calling each other one day, but she did not sound sad at all and so I simply assumed that they ended things on good terms. That time was the only time that we had a talk about Oh Sehun, after what happened almost two years ago until today. But with the way she thought and carefully answered me just now, it probably did not end well.

And I suppose the question was visible on my face, because Joohyun knew what to say next. “We can’t avoid this topic forever, so might as well,” she quirked up a smile before looking down at her cup of Caffe Latte. “We got along just fine at first, but along the way... we figured that our personalities don’t really match with each other, and that was the main reason we broke up,” she started. I raised a brow at that, “Wait up, wasn’t it because he was going to study abroad for Master’s, but he didn’t want to make you wait with uncertainty and he didn’t think you would survive the long-distance relationship?” I blinked my eyes in confusion because that was what Joohyun told me back then.

“That was one of the reasons- that was the start, somehow,” she grimaced. “I only told you about it after we were sure that things really had ended, but it actually happened right in between our birthdays,” she grinned sheepishly. I recalled the time she told me about it, “After three months?” She nodded her head, “Yeah, that was when we had completely ended things,” she took another sip of her latte. “He was driving me back home one day around a week after my birthday when he suddenly told me what I told you,” she started again, “I was surprised when he sounded like he wanted to just give up like that, because we never know how it will turn out until we try, right? I mean, it might actually work well.” I hummed, “So you told him you wanted to try the long-distance relationship?” She nodded her head, “Of course, but he seemed somewhat reluctant, and we just started drifting apart after that...” she trailed off.

“Personally, it was not a big thing, and I told him that we can think about it when the time comes. Because even though his grandparents told him so, it’s still possible that he won’t follow through it and continued his Master’s in Korea, right?” I nodded my head at her. “But he just... I don’t know,” she shrugged, “He probably thought there was no other way round, and he told me that he didn’t want to make me wait or even try long-distance relationship...” she looked out the window and sighed. I did the same, and the sight of gloomy sky and pouring rain reminded me of a certain rainy night. “He was probably afraid that your relationship will end up like his and Yoo Aeri’s- you know her, right?” I wondered. Joohyun nodded her head hesitantly, “But he only told me a little about her, so I’m not exactly sure what do you mean by whatever you just said,” she furrowed her brows.

“Well,” I leaned back on my seat, “Do you remember when I went to the UK for that student exchange program?” My question was answered with a nod of her head. “Well he also took the exchange program, but he went to the US instead,” I continued. “He was still dating Aeri at that time, and while we don’t really talk about his relationship with Aeri, on the other hand, Aeri talked about it with me. She didn’t tell me specifically on what the causes were, but they argued and fought a lot during the time Sehun was away,” I paused to take a sip of my drink. “I heard things got a little bit better after he came back to Korea, but I suppose it was just not the same anymore, and they broke up not too long after that, right when the three of us had just started our internships.”

I took another sip of my caramel macchiato and let the story sank on Joohyun’s mind. There was actually another thing that triggered Oh Sehun and Yoo Aeri’s break-up; a very important and fatal reason that I only discovered not long after I went away for my Master’s in the US. Aeri herself told me about it, because she had somehow heard about what happened to my... friendship, with Sehun. I was surprised when she asked me about it, but at the same time it should not be; we were classmates after all. But it was Aeri and Sehun’s business- not mine, so I as much as I knew the details, it was not my place to share them with Joohyun.

“I see,” Joohyun commented after absorbing the words I just told her. “It probably left a trauma of some sorts, in a way or another- but I still don’t see why he didn’t even try to... I don’t know, argue with them to stay here? I mean, Korea has good Business Schools too, and look what happens now, he’s staying after all,” she pursed her lips. I could only shrug at that- it was Sehun’s story to tell, not mine. “So, what happened after that?” I asked to remind her of the original story we were talking about.

“Right, well, like I said, I didn’t think it was a huge argument, so I just continued as per usual, and started planning a surprise for his birthday that was happening the next week- I thought it might cheer him up,” she started again, “So on the night before his birthday, I asked on whether he was home or not, and he said yes, but he was very sleepy because he was replacing his father for several meetings that day. I told him to not sleep first, because I want to call him when midnight strike, and he said ok.” Somehow, I could guess what was happening, “Did he sleep on you?” Joohyun did not give a verbal answer, but the big sigh she released was enough for me.

“I wasn’t planning to only call him, you know, it was just a reason I told him so that he wouldn’t sleep,” she told me. “I already bought a cake, some balloons and banners too, so to say, and I decorated the back of my car with them to surprise him- I know it’s cliché like dramas, but don’t laugh,” she squinted her eyes at me, and I snickered instead of laughing out loud. It was very cliché indeed- and as much as I tried to keep it in, she probably saw right through my twinkling eyes that I found what she was doing was very amusing to me. “Anyway, I arrived at his house exactly at midnight, so I called him to get him out of the house to surprise him,” she paused, “But he fell asleep, because I kept on calling him and waited for an hour, and he didn’t answer me,” she blew a raspberry, probably reminiscing the frustration she felt on that day.

“So I went home, after texting him that I was waiting for him but he fell asleep- I was trying to tell him that I was frustrated, especially because I told him to wait but he didn’t; but guess what did he text me the first thing when morning came?” A bitter smile was seen on her lips as she looked away from me, and I could only guess that Oh Sehun did something that no one thought would be possible. “He asked me what was I doing in the middle of the night coming to his house, and even said that he said that he was already sleepy that’s why he slept,” Joohyun looked away and out to the window. I could only blink my eyes, not exactly believing what I had just heard.

“It just became obvious to me then, that he gave up on our relationship just like that without trying to spend a single energy to fight for what he really wanted- and so I gave up too,” she looked at me with glossy eyes. “Things started to fell even below from then on, but we had never... officially break-up until a few months later,” she leaned back on her seat. “And it was in that period full of miscommunication and silent anger that the reunion happened, and I met Seungho,” she ended her story.

I leaned my chin on the palm of my hand that rested on the armchair’s arm, “I didn’t know it was that... bad,” I pursed my lips, “And I definitely didn’t think he would do that,” I added. Joohyun nodded her head, “Exactly! I mean... he even flew all the way to Boston, remember?” she bit her lips and looked at me, carefully watching my reaction to her statement. I hummed and smiled sadly at that particular memory, “Yeah, he did,” I nodded my head. “That’s why when he said that, I knew that he just... wanted to stop,” she sighed. “After all, I believe that a relationship- any kind of relationship, will work only if both parties put efforts, not just one,” she looked out to the window. I did the same to observe the seemingly endless rain and hummed in agreement, “Yeah, because if not... it will only burn out the one party who puts effort.”

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