“Be my mistake, Wan” that was the last line I said to you before I left

 

I went home and wait for her, I know I should end this, but I can’t it’s hard. 

 

We spent almost half of our lives together and I just can’t end this, we have a lot of memories together, I still love her, I do, but not the same as before, I love Seungwan now, I know I’m being unfair to her, I know sooner or later I should end this but I don’t know where to start.

 

You enter the door, I smiled at you and I know it isn’t the same smile I always give to you, the excitement is gone, I’m sorry. I tried to stop myself from falling to Seungwan but I just can’t, I’m sorry, Seul.

 

“Hey, you’re home,” I said, I don’t think if this feels like home anymore, I’m sure you feel it

 

“Yeah, did u eat?” 

 

You are still the Kang Seulgi that I know, I’m sorry I can’t answer your questions, I don’t why I fell out of love, I just woke up and I don’t feel anything, I’m sorry, Seul.

 

“Yes,” I’m sorry, Seul. I keep hurting you.

 

“Oh okay, I’ll guess I’ll just eat on my own,” you replied sadly

 

“Okay, I’m sorry”

 

I’m sorry for falling out of love, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry if I found happiness in someone else and not in you. I’m sorry, Seul. I really am.

 

You walk away from me, I know you are crying every night and I’m sorry. I really need to end this. I’m sorry, Seul.

 

I search for my phone and call Seungwan.

 

“Hey,” She said on the other line

 

Be my mistake, Wan. I’m sorry if I keep lying to you, that there’s nothing going on with me and Seul. I’m sorry. I feel alone and I found comfort in her. I know it’s a mistake, I’m sorry.

 

“Hey, are you home?”

 

“Yes, hmm Joohyun?”

“What do you mean by be your mistake?” 

 

I saw you come from the door, you just smiled and went to the bathroom. I went outside the balcony and continued talking to Seungwan.

 

“Hmmm, nothing. It’s just my favorite song right now”

 

“Oh okay, I’ll go to sleep, sleep tight, hyun”

 

“Good night, Wan” 

 

I know that you know and I’m sorry that you need to experience all this. I’m sorry, Seungwan. I’ll be better for you, I promise.

 

I went inside and I saw you, lying on the bed. I’m really sorry, Seul. I need to end this, I don’t want to keep hurting you, you deserve better.

 

The next morning, I woke up beside you. You’re still beautiful, breathtaking, but it’s not the same anymore, I’m sorry, Seul.

 

I go down to the kitchen to prepare our breakfast. I know you were used to breakfast in bed and morning kisses, but I can’t do it now. I’m sorry, Seul.

 

I feel your arms around my waist. I always feel butterflies in my stomach every time you do this but right now I just feel tense. I’m sorry, Seul.

 

“Let’s stay like this for a while” 

 

I’m sorry for hurting you, Seul.

 

I look up to you and I saw the sadness in your eyes. I’m sorry, Seul. 

 

I hug you back to tell you that I’m sorry.

 

“Hey, Hyun?”

 

Are you letting me go? 

 

I’m sorry, Seul.

 

“Hmmm,” I replied

 

“Do you love her?”

 

I know you’re referring to her, and yes, Seul, I love her.

 

I broke the hug and look at you, I’m sorry for doing this, Seul.

 

“I’m sorry, Seul”

 

I’m sorry that I will leave you, I’m sorry, believe me, I tried to stop myself from falling from her. 

 

I’m sorry, Seul.

 

I hug you for the last time and walk away. 

 

I hope someday you find someone that will make you happy and to stay with you until the end.

 

I’m sorry, I can’t be that someone anymore.

 

I’m sorry, Seul.

 

I really am.