Youngjae thinks has ever felt like his boyfriend Jaebeom is one of those really lovable people who have a lot of admirable qualities. In the time they’ve been together, Youngjae has learned that Jaebeom is a well-spoken math and science savvy guy who also has vast talent in photography, dance and making music. Jaebeom at sports and he can be tempermantal at times but that’s where his not-so-good traits end. Youngjae’s friend and workmate Yugyeom strongly believes that the vastness of Jaebeom’s abilities is owed to the fact that he is left handed. Youngjae hasn’t met any other left-handed people in his life, so he can’t confirm Yugyeom’s theory, but what Youngjae does know is that Jaebeom is a special person indeed.

As a person Jaebeom is easy going, fun, goofy and even cute. Lastly, Youngjae also appreciates Jaebeom’s good looks a lot- his pretty face, contagious smile, y broad shoulders, great sense of style and so much more; the list of quite long.

Apart from just being a great guy, Jaebeom also makes for a great boyfriend and he genuinely makes Youngjae happy.

 For the most part, all of Jaebeom’s good qualities have stayed constant the four years they’ve dated, except for one thing that is staring at Youngjae in the face right now.

Jaebeom’s sense of style. It has slowly but gradually changed over the past year or so and not for the better.

They are having Thursday afternoon coffee together right now and Youngjae is having such a hard time figuring out how Jaebeom even dared to walk out of his house wearing an oversized pair of leaf-green pants and a short sleeved blue/white plaid shirt. As atrocious as this outfit is, it’s not Jaebeom’s worst. Youngjae has seen far worse since Jaebeom’s stylishness began to deteriorate, but it’s quite a sight.

Probably the most irking thing is how carefree and oblivious Jaebeom is to the disastrous outfit he is wearing.

The problem isn’t even the size of his clothes because Youngjae actually loves to wear oversized clothes too. They are very comfortable. Jaebeom’s problem is the combinations and flat out choice of clothing pieces.

Youngjae continues smiling awkwardly and quite painfully across the table, trying his best to focus on Jaebeom’s beautiful face so that his eyes wonder lower.

Around 4 months ago Youngjae thought Jaebeom was just going through a weird time in his life, and that everything would eventually reset, but that hasn’t happened yet and with each passing day Jaebeom gets scruffier and scruffier.

Now that he looks closely, Youngjae doubts Jaebeom combed his hair after washing today. It looks clean alright but also painfully dry.

It’s a little embarrassing honestly and Youngjae has to continuously remind himself that Jaebeom is still the wonderful man that he loves so deeply. Now is a good time as any to finally say something but Youngjae just doesn’t know how to bring up the subject or what to say exactly.

For today it’s easier for Youngjae to pretend there is no problem at all so that he and Jaebeom can quietly enjoy coffee in each other’s company. Sometimes there is nothing left to say after each of them has talked about how their day was, and this afternoon is one of those days. They’ve learned to cherish those moments as well and accepted that they can’t always have interesting conversations.

******

It’s a new day and Youngjae has renewed hope because his good friend Yugyeom told him to try asking Jaebeom out on a shopping date. That way Youngjae can help Jaebeom pick out some better clothes.

Sadly that idea gets quickly thwarted.

“I don’t really like shopping you know that.” Jaebeom replies when Youngjae asks him over the phone.

“Yeah, but it could be fun because we so seldom get to do it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just say yes, hyung. It won’t kill you.” Youngjae ends up sounded more frustrated and irritated that he intends to.

“Are you okay? You sound upset.” Apart from confusion, there is some concern in Jaebeom’s voice as well.

Youngjae hates himself for doing that to him. He waits until he has calm down a bit and then says, “I’m okay, hyung. I’m just a bit disappointed. I really wanted us to do this together.”

“There is plenty of stuff we can do together. let’s go to the beach instead.”

A slow smile stretches across Youngjae’s face because the genuinely likes that idea. Cool breeze, sand, fresh air, some sun, just the two of them- It sounds romantic and he could use some romance right now to remind himself of the many other things there are to love about Jaebeom apart from his off-putting fashion sense. “Sure. Let’s go there.”

*******

Youngjae can’t freaking believe what he is seeing when the next day Jaebeom shows up to the beach in sky blue denim dungarees that have definitely seen better days, and an ugly maroon bucket hat. He has on an equally worn grey long sleeved t-shirt inside the dungarees and an interesting pair of brown sandals. Youngjae nearly drops his milkshake in shock. It’s like Jaebeom is doing this on purpose.

Youngjae doesn’t think anyone can consciously look so bad and not know that. Like, how the hell did he even get all the way here without anyone stopping him? Where are all his friends? Does no one love him enough to stop him before he walks out the door?

Meanwhile Jaebeom is all glee and oblivious as usual. Youngjae almost feels bad for him.

“Hey.” He chirps with an endearing smile on his face. They are standing by an ice cream truck near the beach.

“Hi.” Youngjae hopes he isn’t cringing on the outside too.

“You look great.” Jaebeom reaches for Youngjae’s free hand and kisses him softly on the lips.

Youngjae hates that he can’t say the compliment back. Gosh he misses the days when Jaebeom would blow him away with each outfit he wore on a date. Lately Youngjae feels weighed down by Jaebeom’s dressing. Instead of getting excited about dates, Youngjae feels more anxious about what hideously embarrassing outfit Jaebeom will wear next. It’s seriously exhausting.

Even now, Jaebeom is being his sweet and romantic self and Youngjae wants nothing more than to head out to the beach to walk together hand-in-hand and mindlessly do some obnoxious public displays of affection. As life would have it, Jaebeom has an awful outfit on, so now Youngjae is thinking they better not draw any unnecessary attention to themselves. 

“Should we get some ice cream?” Jaebeom is asking.

Youngjae blinks, his brain taking a little time to catch up to and process what Jaebeom is saying. “Um, I think I’m good with this for now.” He gestures at the milkshake in his hand.

“Okay. I’ll get myself an ice coffee. Wait here.” Jaebeom kisses Youngjae again and then goes to get his drink.

Youngjae sighs miserably. It’s going to be a long day.

Before long Jaebeom comes back with his coffee. “Shall we go sit down somewhere?”

Youngjae points at the benches not far from the ice cream truck. “Let’s go there.” he takes Jaebeom’s hand and they make their way there.

Jaebeom sits with his legs on either side of the bench so that he can face Youngjae.

“I thought we came to enjoy the view of the water.” Youngjae grins, but Jaebeom doesn’t seem amused.

“Something is bothering you.” Jaebeom says seriously.

Youngjae’s smile slips. “No.”

“I wasn’t asking. I can tell something is wrong.”

Youngjae swallows thickly and lowers his gaze, fiddling with the cup in his hands.

“Talk to me.” Jaebeom implores.

Youngjae isn’t sure that he wants to discuss the issue now. Delaying the inevitable isn’t great either, but just not now. So he reaches for Jaebeom’s hand and interlaces their fingers. “I was hoping we could simply have fun today.” Because if I tell you the truth you might get upset and leave, and this day will be ruined for us both.

In other words Youngjae doesn’t want to talk about whatever is bothering him yet. Jaebeom would rather they get it out, talk about it and hopefully sort it so that they get over it; but he also can’t force Youngjae, so if waiting is what Youngjae wants of him then waiting is what Jaebeom will do. “I have a surprise for you when we leave here. I think you’ll love it.”

Youngjae smiles, excitement bubbling inside his belly again. “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.” Jaebeom cryptically replies, and and leans over to give Youngjae’s lips a kiss.

*******

Jaebeom’s surprise turns out to be the Chaeongpung Lake cable car ride. Youngjae is already beyond excited as they wait in line to get on the next car.

Youngjae turns towards Jaebeom and takes his hand. “I’ve always wanted to get on a cable car. How did you know?”

“You mentioned it once when you were drunk.”

Youngjae’s eyes widen. “What did I say exactly?”

“That you were disappointed I didn’t bring you here for our first date and that you hoped I would kiss you during the ride.”

“Did I say that?” Youngjae squeaks, embarrassed. Maybe he should be more cautious when he drinks with Jaebeom since he tends to spew secrets. “I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t really disappointed. How could you have known that I liked cable cars, right?”

Jaebeom just smiles and wiggles his eyebrows at Youngjae.

The car finally arrives and they hope on. Youngjae rushes right to the viewing and Jaebeom comes up behind him, sliding his arms around Youngjae’s waist, resting his chin on Youngjae’s shoulder.

The chatter of the other people in the car fades away and Youngjae let’s himself forget everyone here but Jaebeom as they enjoy the beautiful view of Jecheon Lake Woraksan National Park from above. In this moment it’s not important what Jaebeom is wearing and what Youngjae or anyone thinks of it. What matters is how good Jaebeom is to Youngjae.

As it would seem, Youngjae isn’t the only one feeling all romantic. Jaebeom lifts his head from Youngjae’s shoulder, slides his hands to Youngjae’s hips and turns him around so they face each other.

“I owe you a kiss.”

Youngjae laughs and puts his arms around Jaebeom’s neck. “I believe you do.”

So Jaebeom kisses Youngjae, softly, slowly, sweetly like it’s their first date again

*******

The cable car brings them to the observation decks where they buy some cake and drinks at a café there before finding themselves a table. Sitting across each other, they enjoy their food and the food.

Occasionally Youngjae steals glances at Jaebeom, enjoying that view too- how careful and beautiful Jaebeom looks here in the middle of these lovely land marks.

Perhaps more than ever, Youngjae realises now that the clothes really don’t make the man.

“Thanks for listening to my drunken ramblings and following through.” Youngjae suddenly says, drawing Jaebeom’s attention to him.

Jaebeom smiles, happy to see Youngjae looking more radiant than he has in a little while. “I’m happy too, spending time here with you.”

*******

In the week that follows, Youngjae and Jaaeom agree to meet up at the mall just to take a stroll about, window shop a little and maybe grab something to eat while they are there.  

Youngjae is just about to leave when his workmate and good friend Yugyeom bounds over to his desk all smiles. “Leaving, hyung?”

“Yes. I’m meeting JB hyung at the mall.”

“You don’t seem excited.”

“The mall is a much crowded place, so I can’t help feeling a little anxious about what outfit my boyfriend will turn up in. Jaebeom hyung is so sweet and he’s a great boyfriend. I’ve been trying to focus on that and not to think about these things so much about his fashion sense, but it’s hard.”

Yugyeom sympathises, giving his friend a comforting pat and squeeze on the shoulder. “This situation should be funny and I did laugh at first until I saw the pictures your boyfriend posted of you guys together at the beach last week. The dungarees baffled me.”

“Oh my God did you see the shoes?”

Yugyeom just speechlessly shakes his head, eyes wide with dismay

“Tried talking to him about it?” Yugyeom asks when he finds his voice again.

Youngjae vehemently shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“But you are hurting too.”

“I’m not hurting. I’m just…embarrassed and disappointed. I want Jaebeom hyung to be the best of himself, to take care better care of himself. But if I tell him the truth, he might get too offended.”

Yugyeom’s facial expression softens as he coos. “You are so sweet protecting Jaebeom hyung’s heart like that.”

Youngjae shyly ducks his head and smiles. “I really like him. I don’t understand why he’s let himself go, but I still like him a lot.”

“I know. You poor thing.” Yugyeom sighs. “I’m thinking you have no choice but to voice out your discomfort.”

Youngjae sighs as well. “I know.”

*******

Jaebeom is wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt. Simple and probably the best outfit Youngjae has seen on him in a while. That is why Youngjae does not for the life of him understand why Jaebeom has an ugly greyish/brownish long coat over the outfit. What’s worse his hair looks like he just stepped out of the shower and let it drip until it dried. Youngjae can’t spot a single trace of hair product or styling.

As painful as this is for Youngjae, he swallows that pain and tries not to wince and cringe whenever someone stares too hard at them as they go about their business. I love this man, he keeps reminding himself, there is a lot more to love about him than there is to hate.

The final strike happens 3 days later when Jaebum shows up to their next date at the park, in poorly ironed and very ill-fitting being pants and some ugly oversized yellow sweatshirt.  

No. Youngjae can’t do this anymore. He has to put an end to it before he loses his mind. After all, love is honesty. Even if nothing changes after this, telling the truth and getting this burden off his chest is what’s best.

Thankfully they’ve secured a quiet and private spot at a bench by the lake.

It’s with a very heavy heart that he finally says, “Hyung, your outfit is atrocious. You look like a cow chewed on you and you just walked right out of its mouth and came here.”

Jaebeom winces, his warm smile turning into a frown. “That’s… mean.” He sounds and looks hurt as well as confused.

Youngjae’s chest constricts again because he hates hurting his boyfriend’s feeling. “it’s just… I’ve tried hyung but every time….” He stops short suddenly lost for words.

Jaebeom’s frown deepens. “Is something wrong, Youngjae?”

“Yes. You’ve let yourself go. When we first started dating, you had great style and you dressed so well.”

Finally getting it, Jaebeom nods slowly and he feels a stab in his chest, “you are saying my fashion sense .”

Youngjae swallows thickly and begrudgingly nods.

Jaebeom peers down at his outfit and then looks back at Youngjae. “I don’t see what’s wrong. These are comfortable clothes.”

“Comfortable doesn’t always look good.”

“So I don’t look good at all. How long have you felt this way?” initially Jaebeom was offended but now that’s quickly turning into anger and Youngjae cane sense it emanating from him.

“A while. I didn’t know how to tell you without hurting your feelings.”

“You don’t always look good either, but I don’t say anything because it’s what you want to wear and you look comfortable.”

“Excuse you, but I dress way better than you. At least I know colours that match.” Youngjae bristles, now offended as well by Jaebeom’s abrupt attack.

Jaebeom chuckles humourlessly, just barely containing his rising anger. “Are you a fashion expert these days?”

“hyung, don’t do this. I’m just offering some constructive criticism. All I’m saying is that you can do so much better and -”

Jaebeom throws his palm in front of Youngjae to shut him up, and Youngjae does. “I’m done with this conversation.”

*******

“So, I hear you and Youngjae had a huge fight the other day.” Jinyoung says to Jaebeom. They are having lunch together at their usual sandwich place in town. It’s a favoured place that they meet at three times a week during lunch hour to eat together as best friends. Years ago they agreed that no matter how busy they get their jobs or dating lives, they should never be too busy for each other.

Jaebeom frowns at his friend while taking a huge bite from his sandwich. “How would you know that?” he mutters around the bite.

“Youngjae told Jackson and Jackson told me.”

Jaebeom smirks. “You and Jackson are gossiping now? And you said Youngjae and I are the married couple.”

“At least Jackson and I don’t own matching bracelets, hoodies, hats and other cheesy stuff.”

“Agreed.”

“so what’s the problem with you two?”

“Jaebeom sighs, feeling his mood take a slight dip. “He told me I have bad taste in buying clothes these days.”

“Oh. Finally Youngjae grew some balls to tell you. Kudos to him.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jaebeom’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and his friend answers him with a huge, very guilty, very suspicious smile.

Jaebeom’s jaw drops as realisation hits him. “Don’t tell me you dislike my sense of style too.”

“Now hold on. Before you get upset, I’ve wanted to tell you but I thought you’d think I was only teasing you.”

Jaebeom can’t find the words to describe how offended he is.

“Dude, come on. Look at what you are wearing now.”

Doing as he’s told, Jaebeom peers down at his outfit and then looks back up at his friend with a shrug. “I don’t see anything wrong.”

“A worn brown t-shirt tucked into worn grey pants and you don’t see a problem?”

“No.”

“It’s just too effortless. It’s like you are not even trying. Youngjae is right; you’ve gotten too comfortable since you started dating him.”

“There is no such thing as too comfortable.”

“Sometimes it’s worth it to sacrifice a little comfort for the good of things. We all know your potential to look good and you are deliberately living way below that. It’s painful to watch. No one is asking you to change. We are just saying you can do better. Youngjae deserves better. Don’t you think?”

Jaebeom leans back in his chair and grimaces, his right hand toying with his coffee. “Yes he does.” He admits.

“As we grow up, it’s easy to get self-centred in an effort to create one’s own comfort zone. It’s great you’ve found who you are, what you like and stuff, but don’t forget to fit Youngjae in. he is your other half after all.”

Jaebeom’s pride is still terribly wounded, but not so much so that he can’t see the sense in Jinyoung’s advice.

Two years ago when Jaebeom first started dating Youngjae, he made a promise to do his best at making Youngjae happy. If Youngjae is really unhappy with Jaebeom’s fashion choices, then it’s Jaebeom’s responsibility to compromise and sacrifice some of his comfort for the sake of Youngjae’s happiness; because Youngjae does deserve it.

******

Youngjae is extremely relieved when Jaebeom reaches out to him after days of ignoring his calls and texts, but a part of him is still a little nervous about what Jaebeom wants to say tonight. It’s a Saturday night, so they agreed to meet at a cocktails and barbeque place. Jaebeom is already there in a seat near the back, and he waves him over, standing.

Youngjae’s jaw drops when he catches sight of Jaebeom’s outfit. He is wearing dark blue jeans, a white T-shirt tucked into his jeans and nice black sneakers. No ugly overcoat, no weird accessories and everything is well fitting on his body. Perhaps more importantly, there is no hat on his head. His hair is actually styled in a messy but appealing manner. Youngjae likes it. He likes the entire look and it must show on his face as he approaches the table because Jaebeom is starting to fidget the way he does when he is feeling shy under scrutiny.

“Hi.” Youngjae breathes when he is finally standing in front of his boyfriend.

“Hi.” Jaebeom offers a smile and crowds in on Youngjae’s space, arms circling his waist and tugging him close. “I missed you.” He says and kisses Youngjae soft, sweet and slow.

“I missed you too.” Youngjae’s eyes are shinning with fondness when they pull apart and face each other. “You look good.”

Jaebeom peers down at his outfit. “You really think so?”

“Yes. It’s simple and just perfect.”

“Thank goodness. I endured a lot to show up looking like this tonight. First Jinyoung told me off and then I had to ask Bam Bam for style advice. Of course he laughed at me the entire time.”

Youngjae actually sympathises and pulls Jaebeom back into his arms for a comforting hug. “My baby has been through a lot. Thank you for making the effort for me.”

Jaebeom waits until they are both seated at the table to say, “I realised that you were right. I did let myself go a little too much.”

“You were so upset when you left that day and then you wouldn’t answer my calls. I didn’t know what to expect here tonight. I was a little scared while making my way here.”

“I admit I handled things badly just walking away like that and then ghosting you. I was still picking up the last shreds of my pride.” Jaebeom explains and quickly amends when he sees a flicker of regret across Youngjae’s face. “That sounds salty. I’m sorry. What I mean is it took me a little while to see the truth in what you told me. Jinyoung was very glad to help with the cold hard truth.”

Youngjae hisses. “Again, you’ve been through a lot. Thank you for the effort.” He says, knowingly exactly how savage Jinyoung can be. Bam Bam too. In fact Youngjae wonders why those two haven’t said anything about Jaebeom’s style until now.

“One question.”

“Yes?”
“Can I keep wearing my bucket hats?”

Youngjae sighs long-sufferingly, but it’s mostly in good humour. “Sure. Compromise, right?”

“Right.”

“Can we finally go shopping to buy better clothes for you?” 

 “You look great too by the way.”

“Thanks.” Youngjae smiles and looks down at the assortment of drinks and snacks at the table. “I see you started without me.”

“I couldn’t help myself. You know how I eat when I’m nervous.”

“You were nervous?”

“I didn’t know what to expect from you tonight. You were really upset last time we spoke.”

Jaebeom reaches for Youngjae’s hand at the table and give sit a light squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. That’s all behind us. The important thing is we talked it out instead of letting it hang over our heads.”

“True. In a way I’m glad you were honest with me. It’s nice knowing that you care about my wellbeing. I love you.”

“I love you too.”