It's almost lunch time, and my sister went to pay me a visit. It might sound unusual, but I do stay on the hospital alone. My parents are busy at work, and so are my sisters. I told them that I can stay here alone since my condition is far from worse after all, so I can handle everything on my own. I'd rather be alone than to have someone here with me, slapping my face with the fact that I am the sole reason that I have this cancer.

Being the the youngest among us 3, both of my sisters tend to be very concerned and anxious about my condition; to the point that they overreact most of the time. 

My sister—Seoyeon, a business woman, is the one who often pays me a visit. My other sister who is busy being an artist, Seungyeon, visits me whenever she has free time. I am thankful that they're putting an effort on visiting me amidst their busy schedules, but I sometimes wish that they don't visit me at all.

"Here's your lunch" Seoyeon said while handing me over a tray that contains the nasty hospital food that was bought by one of the hospital staff. She placed it on my bed table together with the small packets of medicine that I have to take after my meal. My eyebrows furrowed automatically when I saw the usual cold soup, and my sister seems to have noticed my reaction. "What? Don't tell me you're not going to eat that?" she said with a firm tone. I pushed my bed table forward and helped myself to stand up. I grabbed the medicine from the table before grabbing my heavy oxygen tank. "And where are you going?" she asked with her arms closed.

"To the cafeteria" I answered shortly. Even without looking, I know that she rolled her eyes.'

"So you'd rather spend money than eat this free food? Aren't the food on the cafeteria is just the same as these?" she asked with a hint of annoyance. I already told her a couple of times that hospital food , and she can't seem to care about that.

"The food here makes me feel more sick" I said before walking towards the door.

And just as I was about to turn the doorknob, she told me something that I really hate hearing.

"If you listened to us when we told you to stop smoking, you wouldn't be here" she said, her words darting their ways to my chest. She has told me this a lot before, and I can't believe that I'm still not used to it.

"I'd rather die right here, right now, so you can stop saying that" I said without turning around and finally leaving the room, not giving her a chance to talk back.

I pulled my oxygen tank along as I walk through the bright corridors of the hospital on my way to the cafeteria. There are people walking in both directions, but I kept my head down to avoid people as much as I can.

After a few more walks and turns on the long- boring and cold corridor, I finally reached the cafeteria. I walked my way towards the food area and scanned the food that the hospital offers for today. There are some soft tofu stew, kimchi stew, and even hangover stew. Do they even serve any other food aside from stew?

One thing I miss from living a normal, cancer-less life, is my father's cooking. He's a chef and he lets us taste his dishes whenever he learns a new one until he masters is. But of course, there are times where he cooks normal house food, and that is what I miss the most. I just miss home. I miss my dogs too, I wonder if they can still recognize me.

"Jjangmyeon, please" I said to the lady on the other side of the counter. Without letting a single word, she just proceeded on preparing the food for me. I handed over my payment in exchange for a tray holding my food then I said thank you to the cold lady. I then turned around to look for a spot to eat my lunch; the cafeteria was a little crowded since it's obviously lunch time. There is one vacant spot near the trashcans. I feel a little uncomfortable when there's trashcans nearby while I eat, but I have no other choice.

I walked towards that area and placed the tray that has my jjangmyeon before settling myself down to eat. I blown my spoonful of food before putting in inside my mouth. Then all of a sudden, a familiar figure has entered my sight.

"Jeongyeon?" Nayeon said, with a small box of milk on her right hand. Instead of answering, I shown her a small smile—silently hoping that she wont join me. I wanted to be alone right now. "Is this seat taken?" she asked while pointing on the chair infront of me. I nodded. Great.

"Why are you eating here alone? You didn't get the daily lunch?" she asked before taking a sip from her milk carton.

"I got it, I just don't like it" I answered before putting another spoonful of jjangmyeon in my mouth.

"I think heir food got better recently, you should give it a try sometime" she said with her usual sincere smile, assuring me that the food really did have some improvement to it. Weirdly enough, I kind of believe her. "Do you stay here alone?" she asked again, probably not letting the atmosphere go to an awkward state again. I nodded in response, then I noticed that her eyes brightened with my answer again—just like the time where she found out that we both have cancer. Again, as if it was a good thing. "Me too!" she said with her enthusiastic energy again. "Why are you alone?"

"They have work, I don't want to be a bother to them everyday" I answered, which is true. I was suddenly reminded of what my sister told me before I went out to eat here.

I was looking down at my food, but I saw Nayeon tilt her head. "You look sad, is everything okay?" she said with visible concern.

"It's nothing" I answered before I continue eating again.

"You know, you can tell me anything" she offered. I looked up and saw her reassuring and comforting smile. I don't know what she's doing to me, but I suddenly felt at ease with her presence. "It's better to let your thoughts out to someone rather than keeping it all to yourself." she added, her smile turned into a smaller one.

I let out a deep sigh, not believing that she's giving me a feeling of wanting to open up. But I do know that she's right about keeping your thoughts to yourself—she has a point there.

"One of my sisters keep on telling me that having this cancer is my fault" I said as I fiddle with my food. "I mean, I already know that. But I bet you know that the feeling of guilt , it's very heavy" I added without looking at her.

"You have sisters?" she asked, and it made me look up. I can't believe that the fact of me having sisters is the only thing that she noticed. This girl, really... "I mean, yeah, I understand that feeling" she added, brushing off her question. "What's your condition again? If it's okay to ask" she said.

I hesitated to answer at first, but who cares anyway. "Lung cancer" I answered. She raised her eyebrows. "I used to smoke a lot before, now here I am" I added, then formed in to an 'o' shape.

"Does your sister keep on telling you that you should've listened to them so that you wont be here?" she said.

I rolled my eyes. "You got that right" I said, showing a hint of annoyance with that thought again.

"You'll probably never stop hearing that, but I'm sure that they're just saying that out of care. They're just concerned, Jeongyeon. They are thinking that all of this could be prevented if you stopped immediately" she said, I let out another sigh.

In all of a sudden, her left hand grabbed my right hand. Her hand was huge, but soft and comforting. I looked up and our eyes met, her lips formed into an apologetic smile. "I know that it will be painful, but just don't let them get to you. Don't let them turn you into an angry monster, okay?" she added. And I admit, the last line was a little funny, it even made me giggle.

"Yoo Jeongyeon" a voice was heard from behind, interrupting my conversation with Nayeon—who immediately retreated her hand back when she saw who was calling me from behind. I turned my head around, then I saw Seoyeon. "What's taking you so long?" she said with her eyebrows furrowed. How embarrasing.

I faced the table again before finishing the last bite of jjangmyeon on my plate. But before I decided to stand up, I looked at the girl sitting across me again. "Can I...uh..can we...meet later tonight?" I stuttered, making me look away. On my peripheral view, I saw Nayeon smile. "I mean, if that's okay with you and if—"

"Sure" she answered. My eyes found their way back to hers. "Vending machine again, before midnight" she added. I let out a small smile as I nodded before I finally stood up and walk towards my sister who has been waiting for me.

As much as I hate to admit it, but I'd rather spend time with Nayeon than go back to my room that feels like prison.