Seulgi sat next to Irene for the remainder of the night and the latter (happily) noticed that Seulgi hasn't even looked at her phone since her last phone call in the kitchen. They proceeded to play stupid games and talk about anything that popped to their minds. 

 

It was fun just unwinding and being free from the pressure of the upcoming comeback. They all agreed that they spent their break well and that they wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

"Seulgi-unnie." Yeri suddenly changed her tone and the room became silent. "There's something you haven't been telling me."

 

Seulgi laughed nervously. "What?" 

 

"How could you?" Yeri said menacingly. Well, if a turtle could appear menacing, that was exactly what Yeri looked like. 

 

Seulgi put her hands up. "All right, all right! I'm sorry." 

 

"Sorry about what?" Joy looked between the two. 

 

"I dated her friend Naeun." Seulgi scratched her head. 

 

Joy and Wendy laughed, teasing Seulgi about seeing someone way younger than her. 

 

Irene blinked several times. 

 

Did Seulgi just say dated​​​​​​? 

 

"How could you??" Yeri wailed. 

 

"I'm sorry, Yerim-ah!" Seulgi attempted to hug their maknae. "That's why I didn't tell you."

 

"So that's why you've been all secretive about this!" Wendy chuckled. 

 

"What do you mean dated?" Irene blurted out before she could stop herself. "Did you guys break up?" 

 

"Yeah.." Seulgi's eyes lingered at Irene's for a brief moment. "A few hours ago, actually."

 

"HOW COULD YOU?" Yeri attacked Seulgi with pillows. 

 

"Why did you break up?" Joy asked. "Did she get grounded because you guys stayed up past curfew?" 

 

The rest of the group laughed. 

 

"I don't want to talk about it." Seulgi said after all the jokes from Yeri, Wendy and Joy died down. "I'd rather just drink." 

 

And they all did just that. 

 

Seulgi matched every shot of alcohol offered to Irene, keeping up with her to determine the winner of their bet earlier. They didn't even settle on what the winner would get, they both just felt glad they were able to speak more casually now. 

 

Their fingers accidentally brushed against each other while they were all sitting and Irene and Seulgi flinched at the contact at first. However, they both made no effort to move their hands away and they just let them lay inches away from each other. Irene didn't even know if it was her or Seulgi that initiated the next contact, but the next time their fingers brushed against each other, they left it there. 

 

Irene wanted to think about what that meant but she felt like this was innocent enough that she'd just let it pass. Still, hear heart thumped erratically but she just chose to ingore that.

 

Irene still paced herself just in case because couldn't just shake off her duties as the group's unnie. It didn't go unnoticed by her members and soon, Yeri was pointing at her.

 

"Yah, unnie." Yeri complained. "It's been ten minutes and you still hadn't taken a single shot!"

 

"Who are you, the vodka police?" Irene retaliated.

 

"Hey that's no fair!" Joy groaned. "There you go again, unnie."

 

"I can't help it, okay?" Irene smiled. "I feel like I always need to take care of you kids."

 

"We're not kids anymore." Seulgi commented. 

 

"Yeah," Wendy added. "If you're afraid of your maknaes seeing you drunk, don't worry, I will carry you to your bed if I have to." She shot finger guns towards Irene's direction.

 

"You're so greasy, Son Seungwan." Irene laughed. "And I don't need any help. I won't get drunk."

 

"We'll see about that." Yeri muttered under her breath.

 

 

---

 

An hour later, Irene felt herself getting too lightheaded. She had repeatedly lost the round to the game they were playing and she sensed that Joy and Yeri were behind it all. The maknaes denied it vehemently when she tried to accuse them of cheating and since neither Wendy nor Seulgi backed her up, Irene could only grumble as she took shot after shot of punishment.

 

Although she had to admit, taking Seulgi's advice and letting herself just be Joohyun for tonight felt great. She felt a little lighter without the constant weight of being perfect and responsible. She didn't even had to try to supress her Satoori accent. Irene had the most fun she's had in a long time so she tapped Seulgi's arm to thank her.

 

"Why?" Seulgi tore her attention from Yeri and Wendy's impromptu skit. 

 

"Nothing," Irene smiled crookedly. "I just wanted to say thanks."

 

Seulgi regarded the older girl. Irene's cheeks were flushed and one of her ears were poking out from her hair. Seulgi noted that even the tips of her ear were tinted with a faint redness and it took all her resolve not to touch it. 

 

"For what?" She whispered. Seulgi suddenly realized how close they were huddled together but Irene made no move to pull away.

 

"For convincing me to be Joohyun for a night." Irene replied. "I really needed this." 

 

"I'm gonna let you in on a secret. I like Joohyun much better than Irene." Seulgi joked. 

 

"I do too." Irene admitted. "Joohyun wouldn't have rejected you. She would've tried to make it work."

 

 

Seulgi's eyes widened. "What?"

 

 

"What are you two weirdos whispering about?"

 

"Nothing." Irene couldn't believe she said those words. She stood up so suddenly and she felt the alcohol coursing through her body and swirling in her head. "I have to go to the bathroom."

 

"Don't puke on the sink!" Joy called as Irene hurriedly walked away.

 

She closed the door and leaned her head on the wall. 

 

Why the hell did she say all that? 

 

Irene took a few more moments to calm herself and when she walked back to the living room, she squeezed herself between Wendy and Joy. 

 

"What the heck," Wendy complained. "If you wanted to sit on my lap, just say so!"

 

---

 

Irene effectively avoided Seulgi for the better part of the night, resorting to just focusing on downing her drinks. She felt Seulgi's eyes on her and she could tell Seulgi was just waiting for a moment where they could be alone until she confronted Irene about the bomb she just dropped. 

 

So Irene didn't give Seulgi any opening.

 

However, now that she focused all her attention to avoiding Seulgi, Irene forgot to pace herself and soon she found herself swaying as she went out of the bathroom.

 

"Are you okay, unnie?" Wendy grabbed her hand.

 

"Seungwan-ah.." Irene blinked several times. It was getting hard to focus.

 

"Let's get you to bed." Wendy gently guided her to her bedroom.

 

"Wait," Irene shook her head and it made her more dizzy. "What about the others?"

 

"They're good." Wendy laughed. "Surprisingly, Yeri's still fine. Sooyoung and Seulgi however are officially faded."

 

Irene wanted to protest more but she can barely stand by herself. So she let Wendy help her change into her pajamas. She slid under the covers and Wendy tucked her in.

 

"Hold on, I'll get you some water." Wendy went outside.

 

Irene put her hands on her face. She couldn't believe she let herself get carried away so much. 

 

She couldn't believe what she told Seulgi. 

 

"I'm so stupid." Irene sighed.

 

She reminded herself again why she shouldn't have done that. She replayed over and over again why she should push her feelings down. 

 

But Irene was getting tired. She was tired of feeling helpless around Seulgi. She was tired of constantly trying limit her interactions with the younger girl. She was tired of avoiding her. 

 

She was tired of denying her feelings for Seulgi. 

 

She was just so sick of it. Of always thinking what would be best for the group, even at the cost of her own happiness.

 

She wanted to be selfish for once. She wanted to do what her heart desired. She wanted to be free from it all.

 

She wanted Seulgi.

 

"Seulgi.." Irene whispered. "Seulgi."

 

"I think Seulgi's asleep, unnie." Wendy was back with the water. "Sit up for a while so you can drink some water."

 

When Irene finished the glass of water, she leaned against her headboard and stared at the ceiling.

 

"Do you need anything else, Joohyun-unnie?" Wendy asked.

 

"I need..." Irene tried to stop the tears from falling but she failed. She just couldn't hold it in anymore. 

 

"I need Seulgi," said in between sobs. "Seungwan-ah.. what do I do?"

 

"What's the problem?" Wendy spoke in a hushed tone.

 

"It hurts so much." Irene buried her face in her hands. "How do I make it stop?" 

 

Wendy engulfed their leader in a hug as Irene told her everything that happened between her and Seulgi. She poured her heart out to her friend and at the end of it, Wendy assured her that they'll figure it out together. 

 

"For tonight, just rest." Wendy got up from the bed. "We'll talk it out tomorrow, I promise. I gotta go. I need to check up on the others."

 

Irene nodded. Wendy gave her one last hug. 

 

"Good night, Joohyun-unnie."

 

"Good night, Seungwan-ah." 

 

Irene closed her eyes and willed herself not to think about Seulgi. 

 

 

 

 

But it seemed like the universe had other plans. 

 

 

 

Her phone rang and she saw Seulgi's name flashed on the screen. 

 

Irene answered after the third ring. 

 

"Did I wake you?" Seulgi slurred. 

 

"No." Irene answered. 

 

"Okay." Seulgi hummed. "Did you drink water?" 

 

"Yes. Did you?" 

 

"Yes."

 

"Did you really mean what you said?" Seulgi was almost whispering now.

 

"I don't know." Irene bit her lip. "Maybe. Yes."

 

"Okay." 

 

"Seulgi.." Irene started. 

 

"Yes. I know." Seulgi breathed heavily. "We can't."

 

"Seulgi." Irene said again. 

 

"And I'm really trying not to have feelings anymore, you know. I---" 

 

"Seulgi."

 

"Yes, Joohyun-unnie?" Seulgi said sleepily. 

 

 

Irene took a deep breath. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I think I'm in love with you."