Really. Everything in this story is just chaos.

 

✦✦

  

Teeeet!!

 

That voice again.

 

The sound that had made almost all the contents in this room got goosebumps. There are just two possible reasons. Either anxious to see if it turned out the casualty was their own family or maybe only concerned because knowing that they would be the next prey.

 

For the umpteenth time, a worried frown emerged offhandedly as my eyes caught some movements at the right.

 

There she was. The girl had pressed both of her earholes using delicate palms, accompanied by some grain of sweats that were as big as corn kernels, went down through her temple. She looked like she was attempting to hold the shake of her body, but I knew; she was also terrified.

 

I saw her bright face again. A bit pale, but her skin was fair without blemish. Face that four years ago was something I’d never seen before. The look that came four years ago when my sister and I tried to escape the clutches of some heartless rankers. And the face that two years later became a special opiate for me.

 

Funny. I was almost always caught up laughing at myself when I remembered I gave myself to those rankers in shining armor just two days after they dragged this girl who had replaced me.

 

“Seriously? You’re mocking me?”

 

Oh. I was caught red-handed again.

 

“I mean, come on  ̴ it’s been four years, Soo.”

 

I pulled her as fast as I could; forced her head to hide on the crook of my neck after I saw a pack of soldiers had walked behind when the girl in front of me opened , ready to disprove.

 

“Joohyun.”

 

Thick lips that now not far away from my lug threw a low-tone trembling voice that has just pricked through my eardrums.

 

“Close your eyes, and do not listen.”

 

Not so long, I felt something started to enlace my waist.

 

Squinted my eyes to observe some hefty men in habergeon dragged one young boy with bloodstained in his whole body roughly. I was started to yank back to full consciousness. Remind me that I and everyone here weren’t ordinary humans. We were different. The powers we have very disturbed the minds of superficial brains in the city over there. We, supernatural humans, would always be put away. Yet, there were no such reluctance had prevented them from killing us. For example? My Mother.

 

Not all of us had families who were also mutants. And for me, it was more painful than any other case. When those who have bonds gathered at the cafeteria or training room, there would always be one or two people who sat together to share how bitter their story was, separated or rejected by their own families.

 

In this context, I pointed at Sooyoung.

 

Okay, I admitted, my dad is one of them. Without me, my sister and my mom knew, he demanded that infantry so that they could chase me to be handcuffed with tech that shut our powers down. This world is inhuman. Even if a family still loves their child, who is also a supernatural human, those soldiers would start to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing; explain with their cordiality’s face mask they wore and said that we just inputted in training facilities so we can control our bent.

 

Oh, You've gotta be kidding me. I feel sick when one of Sooyoung’s friends, Seulgi, told us that those officers promised their parents that their daughter would come back home, albeit it took time so long. They merely didn’t realize it; Those gunners never mentioned if they would bring her back alive or just dead body.

 

“Who?”

 

And yes. If you guys see I bit my lower lip right very now after Sooyoung asked that question, you must’ve guessed if the bloody body in there was one of her close people.

 

“Joohyun, who?”

 

“Chenle.”

 

“Mwo?!”

 

I withstood her. With my power, I held her hand that now shift to pushed me, forced her more firm so she would still be in my protection.

 

“Not like this. Bae Joohyun! I must see him. I need to see him!”

 

This hug became much tighter as her body ruction grow wilder and uncontrollable. I also secretly afraid if I accidentally demolished her bone.

 

“No. You need to endure, Park Sooyoung! You have to!

 

(※)

 

“So? She is your girlfriend or not? Because I will start to envelop her with my arms and kiss her if you keep staying still.”

 

She is Seung-wan. A girl who is the same age as Seulgi, who two days ago had been transferred to training room level 3, a level that Sooyoung and I had occupied for two years and a half ago.

 

And of course, that’s a question for Sooyoung because since the first day Seungwan joined with people in level 3, Seungwan immediately approached me without further ado.

 

I turned around slightly while bit my lips for the umpteenth time; pay full attention to the firm expression that was still covered by grieve on Sooyoung’s face, who didn’t stop to stare flatly at the girl in front of her. Even though not really important, honestly, I also waited for the answer. But maybe the status wasn’t really needed in our relationship. Without that, we already knew what we felt for each other.

 

“Say that again, and you will end up burning in the center of this room. I’m serious about the ‘burning’ thing.”

 

“You better really think about her words. Because if you assume that it’s just a joke, you will be like this.”

 

Three of us turned our head when Seulgi suddenly had stood behind Seungwan while lifted her knee to the front; tried to show the rib in her grey pants.

 

“I’m Seulgi. She’s Yerim. You?”

 

Slowly sit her body down to Seungwan’s side in the long chair, my eyes reflexively settle on the girl that had followed Seulgi from earlier. Yerim, my younger sister.

 

“I’m Seungwan. Wait, but if you indeed could make a fire with your bare hands, why don’t you try to escape?”

 

I can feel the gaze Sooyoung shot at me when I stare at the high ceiling made of concrete. There were just small crevices covered by glass to let us know that the day had changed. But never thought to climbed them or even broke those glass because we know it would just drain our energy with the futile results; our bodies would never fit to breach through that tiny slit.

 

I clutch back a giant hand that felt slipped their fingers between mine all of a sudden. Sooyoung had always been so understanding of what I felt by just watching my gesture. And maybe that was the only one I need right very now.

 

“We surely have done it in the first place if we know it would work.”

 

As I tighten my grip on Sooyoung’s hand, I shone my eyes on one blonde-haired girl right in front of Sooyoung, separated by the cold of the long metal table. An innocent look pored out just like that through her shiny eyes.

 

“You haven’t told by your mate at the previous level? This whole concrete walls armed with technology. Radiation to make our powers keep under control and not pass the limit.”

 

Then Seungwan’s retortion after that was like snapped my heedfulness back to the real world; had never flashed in my mind or all of us’.

 

She has indeed had a point. But not entirely.

 

“But, you guys also haven’t known whether you would fail, right?”

 

(※)

 

And ...

 

All things are demolished.

 

Totally out of expectations.

 

An experiment is still a probability with no certainty. This thought was never implanted in our head; that the result was still blurred, and it may not be lived up to our expectations. Or even it would deviate so far from what we have wished. Then now, everyone was crouch to the corner of the room after the alarm sounded more shattering than usual, followed up by a bulb that emitted white light before, turn to the blood-red light terrifying.

 

All the creatures in this room tried their best to stayed away from the big metal door, which converged with one side of the concrete wall.

But, the damn thing is I have separated from Sooyoung. I was so panicked because I don’t know where she is before I finally saw her slip into the crowd on the other side of the room.

 

This is so frightful. Not just because I remembered that the other four girls and I are the ones who have invited and convinced these occupants in this level to wrecked the hall by using their powers and supporting each other, but also because I understand that soon there must be one toll to be sacrificed as an activator of this mess since if not, the whole occupants in this level would be killed. Five of us would never know that the tightness of the security in this room had been improved every year. Maybe because of this, we eventually moved recklessly and very confident with anything that we knew this far without giving much thought.

 

Then the alarm stopped when the metal gate was open, giving way to those rankers in an armor suit equipped by spears, swords, and eyes that were as sharp as the blade in their hands.

 

They paused after a few steps. Scanning with those eyeballs as if they probed themselves about who was the mastermind, albeit they’re giving up at anyway.

 

“Speak!!!”

 

The snaps also made our body jumped. I was about to cry when no one spoke; I realized that the soul of friendship from these people was massive until they didn’t want to appoint anyone to be thrown to the torture of devil in armor.

 

I thought the discomfort disappears, just like that, replaced by a touched feeling because of the solidarity. It turned out; there is something that more than just the word ‘worried’ when my iris found a pair of the light-brown eye who stared at me with eyebrow slightly rose as if regret about something.

 

I know. I always knew that gaze. And suddenly I was hit again by the recollection that that girl was a figure who has a big, pure heart. Everyone would know what it meant.

 

Coincide with the girl’s eyes far away on the other side who switch a little bit to whomever person behind me before nodded. She raised her left hand, and a second after that, my mouth felt numb. Someone has pushed her palms on my lips, and I precisely knew who had ordered it.

 

“It’s me. I am the one who told them to do this. What will you do about it, huh?!”

 

Park Sooyoung was such a fool.

 

When she’s supposed to begging for forgiveness, a screech is the only thing that came out of ; make the liquid that I’ve been holding from earlier, pouring out into my face mercilessly because I know exactly what she wanted to do.

 

“I’m sorry, Joohyun eonni. But she had told me to hold you up if you start to take a step forward.”

 

Soft whisper but full of guilty in her voice that I believed came from Yerim’s, pricked through my ear; In no time, she slammed me with the fact that Sooyoung had planned this in the first place.

This was wrong.

 

It’s not supposed to be just her. I was also involved.

 

And the last thing made my knees fell to the floor with a muffled sob is when Sooyoung, with her arm was pulled roughly by two big men, turn her head to stared at me and moved ; very clear till the point perhaps I can shout out loud what she said in the time being.

 

“I love you, Joohyun. So much.”

 

I—I love you too, Sooyoung. But if that’s the case, why you left me this way?

 

(※)

 

Twenty-nine days went on as usual.

 

Monotone.

 

Without any significant differences.

 

People had changed levels after doing the fight forced by the soldiers every end of the month to determine where they would be placed after that.

 

And I’m still here. On level 3.

 

That’s the thing Sooyoung had said to me.

 

“They like a figure who stands out more than the others. So, try to be in the standard line, not looks very strong but not so weak either. They won’t pay so much attention to the people with no record.”

 

It also the one that made me, Sooyoung, and Yerim kept us in this room. Never wished to be less but didn’t want to go up either. And I remembered clearly about one man, Chanyeol, who had ever gone down to the gladiator arena, said that he’d saw Mayor from the outer realm along with a lot of other officials, watched his battle with Renjun, a person that he had considered as his own brother. Though about it over again, I started to put together these pieces of the puzzle. ‘Training’ has been pretext just to take away officials’ money. People in those positions really liked us being pitted around like bulls with chain choked our neck. It also made sense why this arena was built far away from the town.; of course, to made our parents never find their child, they still loved.

We were rated as circus animals this whole time; object to entertain the vile desire from those sinners.

 

This was so suffocating.

 

Considering how hard Sooyoung had remained in this position and ended up gave herself up to cover our mistakes really got me mad. Not to her, but myself.

 

First of all reasons, because I’ve failed to protect her. And the most important reason was that I couldn’t confess to her about the feeling we had felt for each other. Maybe we were both wrong; didn’t be honest in the first place. But anyway, I was indeed the older and supposed to be the one who started. But, even when Sooyoung eventually fell to the pit of hell, she always had managed to take the first step and I ended up looking like a fool.

 

And then, here I am.

 

Still trapped in the endless vicious circle, which was even worse without that girl's existence.

 

“Perhaps she is fine, Hyun.”

 

I don’t know why I shot a glare at Seulgi. I mean, she knows strictly that the word ‘fine’ would never be implemented entirely as long as we’re still locked in this facility.

 

“Are you kidding me? If yes, that’s completely unfunny.”

 

I can tell that she was so shocked by my answer. Maybe because my face didn’t look calm at all. But what else? Everything had been so much pain. Why should there be another word that tossed up a new wound when the first one hadn’t even recovered?

 

“Oh, I’m sorry(?) I just tried to cheer you up.”

 

Surely her pitch slightly rose. From her eyebrows alone, everyone would immediately know that she was offended.

 

“Cheer me up? Funny! You also knew that the choice is just to kill or be killed.”

 

“So, you think she would die? It means you don’t believe her.”

 

“If you don’t know anything, just shut your mouth!”

 

Bugh!

 

“Joohyun!” / “Joohyun eonni!”

 

I lost my mind. A haze of anger covered me and everything happened so fast. Seulgi already lay down on the other side of the room while touching her stomach.

Oh my god, I almost killed her.

 

But not long after, there was a commotion along with an alarm that made our ears tingle. The difference is that the light doesn’t turn into red but blackout at all instead.

 

I couldn’t see anything.

 

Everything is... pitch black.

 

Luckily, There was a young male figure, emitting light like a lantern from his eyes. At least this is enough for me to looking for Yerim, Seungwan, and Seulgi whereabouts. After joining the 3 of them, then apologizing while wiped the blood came out from the corner of Seulgi’s lips, one man from another level with the same power as the young kid before suddenly infiltrated the forcibly opened metal door by a woman in his side. His glowing eyes circled the room as if he was looking for someone.

 

“Seungwan!!! Finally, I got you. Let’s go! Sooyoung has done her part.”

 

Of course, I snapped my neck towards Seungwan direction right away, even though I wasn’t really sure about what I’ve just heard. I mean, there is someone from level 5 with the same name. I was not supposed to have high expectations. No, I shouldn’t. But my legs felt numb all of sudden when I caught a faint smile on Seungwan’s face, along with the nod from Seungwan head.

 

“You’re right. She is your Sooyoung. Come on quickly! We don’t have much time left.”

 

‘Your Sooyoung.’

 

My Sooyoung.

 

My brain almost blew up, thinking about what Seungwan had just say. It meant Sooyoung is still alive. She still survives. We still in the same world.

 

“Hey, stop daydreaming! Let’s go!”

 

Momentarily contemplated what scenario I’ll do to greet her when we finally united again, Seungwan’s yells waked me up. Realizing everyone has started to scramble towards the door, directed by the man who turns out is Seungwan's acquaintance.

 

I’m coming, Park Sooyoung.

 

(※)

 

I always hate fate, which is very fond of playing with the hopes of sentient beings. I even can imagine how fate laughing saw me so desperate when I was forced to left Sooyoung—again.

 

I mean, for 29 days I thought she was already dead, and I was rained by relief through a shout that mentioned her name. Then, I was standing uneasy watch the back of that girl who looks more restless than me.

 

“Seungwan, you remember the plan, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, but... you’ll come, right?”

 

What is that mean? Sooyoung will obviously come along to go out from this cruel penitentiary. Why did she ask?

 

Unless there is something that I don’t know—again.

 

“Just do it first!!”

 

“What?! Do what?!! You never tell me everything, Soo. You must be thinking it is funny to see me cry, thinking you're dead!”

 

My outcry that doesn’t consider as soft but not loud either, summoned both of her extended hands to settle upon my arms following by a gentle rubbing motion using her fingers.

 

“Joohyun, you trust me, right? Then heed to Seungwan’s directions and keep your sister safe. Okay?”

 

“I just don’t wanna losing you again, Soo. Don’t you understand?”

 

As usual, she will be the one who bravely took a step. Then less than 2 seconds, my face has already drowned in the crook of her neck.

 

“You’ll not be losing anyone, Hyun. I promise.”

 

Don’t want to waste any more time; Seungwan tugged me slowly to be separated from the tall girl in front and started to take the opposite track from Sooyoung. Not so far after we ran, I have already seen Sooyoung threw some fireballs that pop up from her bare palms at those soldiers in front of her.

 

She looks exhausted. Looks so... fragile.

 

“Wait!! Why don’t we just help her? We all also have powers, right?”

 

Maybe I was indeed sound so stubborn until they can’t hold their frustrated sigh. But I just can’t see Sooyoung struggle together with several men and adult females to hold back those soldiers.

 

“Eonnie, come on. They’re tired of withholding them. We have to move fast.”

 

“That’s it! We’re supposed to be in there too, to beat all of them down.”

 

“God, Joohyun! Open your eyes! Look what’s on their hands! Better to sacrifice a few than to let all of us die!”

Glanced over, I saw many guns in the soldiers’ hands, not just an ordinary shooting iron. However, there was a blue ray in the middle that I believe is a radiation source to shut down our power.

 

And it’s dangerous.

 

For us.

 

“Wait. What is that mean? Seungwan, I’m serious. What do you mean with sacri—”

 

“I’m sorry, Joohyun. I have to do this.”

 

I haven't had time to finish; suddenly, Seulgi takes a step forward with a firm fist that swings very fast. Everything happened very briefly. Portray of Sooyoung, who still fight that so clean and clear earlier, started to fade. Right when that face turns to the back—towards me—the world suddenly darkened, and I was surrender.

 

Let all of the things happen while I enunciate thousands of pray so that Sooyoung will come back safely, and there is no goodbye filled with heartsick cries over again.

 

I give up.

 

(※)

 

2 months pass.

 

And as everyone had guessed, my heart was slammed back to the ground by the painful fact where there was no news about Sooyoung since that day.

 

Seungwan also had explained everything. About the man with his glowing eyes helped us find a path to went out of the building and the woman beside him who turned out to ber Seungwan cousins. Seungwan also elaborated on how she extremely against Sooyoung’s idea to brought everyone ran while that girl helped to hold back the rankers.

 

And I started to understand. Sooyoung is always a headstrong girl like me. If she has determined to do something, no one—including me—can stop her.

 

I turned to be so messed up when Seungwan said that Sooyoung really wanted to protect me. She also resolutely wanted to get Yerim and me out of that place.

 

She—again and again—who made a move. Took a decision until I look so weak and foolish.

 

And here we are. In the middle of nowhere forest that located far away from the city or that building. Very far.

 

Honestly, go into seclusion in the hinterland with some superpower people and accompanied by many natural tents doesn’t felt that bad. Everything appears to be so beautiful and clean and calming. Water, food, air, ambiance. It’s just, back to the reality that detailly deciphers if there is no Sooyoung by my side, made me felt anesthetized. All of this naturalness seems doesn’t want to be absorbed by my feelings, so what's in there is only longing and pain.

“Eonnie, let’s eat. Seungwan‒eonnie and Seulgi‒eonnie have done grilled the fish. This time, their catch isn’t a joke. So be quick, or you’ll just get bones.”

 

Slightly smiled, I was pretty thankful, Seungwan and Seulgi had entered into the script of I and Yerim’s life. Yerim became more cheerful and often laugh after two of them tried to take a role.

 

“So?”

 

But Seungwan will always be Seungwan. Stealing opportunities that are in plain sight without bothering to look at the mood and situation around.

 

“What?”

 

I retorted shortly as my hand started to pick one wood stick used to prop the fish above the fire. Don’t wanna seem to very pay attention.

 

“You’re solo now. Wanna be mine?”

 

Ew, why did she have to use every cringe sentences all the time?

 

My toes secretly folded by the feel of greasiness.

 

And the next second is something I never imagine. I had even declared that I give up.

 

But she? She came from behind the bush with her limping legs and hands wrapped around the man’s shoulder to her right.

 

“I ‒I told you, you’ll be burned if you do that again.”

 

Her breathing was heavy, her speak was soft, hard, and shiver, her appearance was all mess, her face and body were full of a wound. Painful for me, but the smile that spread to her eyes will never change. She—Park Sooyoung—will still be the girl that I know.

 

“Park Sooyoung.”

 

“Bae Joohyun(?)”

 

Her silliness didn't disappear either. I saw she tilted her head for a second before transformed her playful look in her eyes to a gentle, soothing gaze; full of love and affection.

 

“Sorry, I am late.”

 

And the next moment, I found myself already wrapped my arms around the taller girl’s neck, gave her a quick peck on her lips before rested my chin on her wide shoulder.

 

“Stupid! I miss you so much.”

 

So funny. I didn’t realize if the smile that I’ve shown back to her that looked so ensuring started to fade, replaced by a soft sob.

 

“I thought I’d already lost you again.”

 

“I’ve promised, remember?”

 

The last one, only with a gentle rub at my back by two familiar hands, my heart became unswerving; gradually built back faith that everything would be fine, exactly like what she’d whispered very mellowly on my left ear before she pushed her lips against my shoulder.

 

“I love you, Bae Joohyun. So much.”

 

And anyone knew that my answer would never change.

 

“I will always love you too, Park Sooyoung. Now and forever.”

 

❇ 𝘍𝘐𝘕 ❇ 

 

Don’t mad at me. I’ve warned you that everything is a mess.