[CONTENTID1]I loved him first.[/CONTENTID1]

 

[CONTENTID2]And I prayed that he’d find you someday

But it’s still hard to give him away[/CONTENTID2]

 

[CONTENTID3]

 

Kim Heechul scowled as he poked the lopsided dumpling, his face twisting into a pained grimace as it wobbled in a manner that dumplings were surely not supposed to. The red haired, self-proclaimed diva sighed as his eyes drifted to the piece of paper that held a set of illegible instructions on how to cook dumpling soup. Maybe asking his clubbing-buddy Jungsoo to write the recipe while he was severely hungover was bad idea. Heechul squinted his eyes going through the barely legible script again. 

 

He had let the broth boil in high heat like it said, the redhead nodded- ignoring his inebriated friend’s cringey comment about his sizzling relationship with a noona from a club scribbled across the margin.

 

Heechul had added the carrots, scallions and dumplings whilst the broth was simmering, he nodded to himself before stopping short.

 

Or had he?

 

The redhead had been slightly distracted by hungover-Jungsoo’s rather pathetic declarations of love about the noona from the club (scrawled in the edge of the paper with a sickening stick-figure drawing of the two of them), scoffing as he remembered how the older woman kept coming in between his and his clubbing-buddy’s midnight partying. His scowled deepened as he tossed the set of instructions away, his exhausted gaze resting on the soup that had been poured to a blue ceramic bowl. 

 

His brows furrowed as he stared at the watery broth with colourful veggies floating across it as bloated, lopsided dumplings sank to the bottom, his fists clenching in frustration. 

 

Damn it, why did he even attempt to cook something other than his usual rota of ramen noodles?!

 

An alarm resounded from a nearby room, breaking the redhead out of his sulking stupor as he remembered-that was why. He quit his silent pondering about mastering the secrets of a perfect dumpling soup as he walked into the small cramped bedroom and turned off the ringing alarm.

 

“Rise and shine, Lee Donghae!” Heechul announced, opening the curtains in a flourish as sunlight poured into the room. 

 

A small grumble sounded from the otherwise unmoving lump on the bed as the young boy buried himself further into the duvet, sleepily protesting.

 

“Lee Donghae, it’s time to wake up.” The redhead repeated, plopping down on the bed, taking in the form of the brunette all bundled up like a little blanket burrito, his cute cheeks puffed up from the sleep, his eyes firmly scrunched shut.

 

“Five more minutes, hyung.” The boy whined, his nose scrunching up endearingly as he protested.

 

Heechul resisted the urge to coo and hug the adorable brunette with his fluffy tuft of hair. The younger had always managed to thaw the redhead’s icy cold heart with just a look from his sad puppy-like eyes and right now he could feel his resolve failing as he gazed at the blanket-wrapped bundle with a look of fond exasperation. 

 

“Alright, come on- that’s enough sleep.” The older boy said, coaxing the other out of his warm cocoon, stomping down the feeling of guilt that came over him as the younger tiredly rubbed his eyes.

 

There’s never enough time to sleep these days, with the dance practices carrying on till the dead of the night, testing everyone’s will as they fought against pure exhaustion. Heechul practically dragged the younger boy to the bathroom- Donghae’s sock cladded feet skidding across the tiled floor as they stopped in front of the tall mirror. The redhead helped the boy brush his teeth and wash his face, only letting go of his protective grip on the younger when he deemed the other was suitably awake  and aware of his surroundings.

 

“Here you go.” Heechul said, handing the brunette his highschool uniform. “Come out to the kitchen once your ready.”

 

The older boy walked out of the room, taking the monstrous dumpling soup and placing in on the small table with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks before finding Donghae’s school bag and checking that the all his supplies and homework for the day was already in there. Heechul stood by the coffee pot, a war raging through him internally as he pondered whether he should give the younger boy a cup of coffee as well- but the thought of a caffeinated, hyperactive Donghae prancing about the living room singing the soundtrack of ‘Finding Nemo’ in the ungodly hours of the morning sent shivers down his spine- no he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

 

“Morning hyung.” The brunette clad in a dapper uniform waddled in, patting his messing mop of hair to a slightly more acceptable style for school.

 

“Morning Hae, eat your breakfast.” The redhead gestured at the anomalous bowl of dumping soup. “We’ve got about half an hour till the bus comes.”

 

The younger boy stopped short in sight of the homemade meal.

 

“Yeah, yeah it looks weird I know- I seriously should’ve waited until Jungsoo was sober to ask for the recipe.” Heechul winced, gently steering the brunette to take a seat at the table. “But it’s vegetables, so it should be healthier than the ramen we usually eat for breakfast.”

 

“Hyung cooked for me?!” Donghae gasped softly, his puppy-like orbs widening, touched tears flooding into his eyes. 

 

“Of course, I did. Today’s an important day and you’re much better off with the full stomach.” Heechul answered, placing a placating kiss on the younger’s forehead before coaxing him to eat his veggies.

 

The redhead packed a lunch box of (thankfully store-bought; he didn’t want to test his skills in the kitchen again) gimbap before shoving it into the brunette’s bag pack, looking up to see that Donghae had reverently finished the horrendous dumpling soup to the very last drop, a look of childish determination and pure gratefulness apparent in his face. Heechul smiled fondly, knowing that the horrid soup probably tasted as disgusting as it looked but it was the effort that did made the whole stunt so heart-touching for the younger- hell the older boy could’ve offered him burnt toast and Donghae would’ve still shed tears out of sheer thankfulness.

 

“Alright, are you ready?” Heechul asked, not even waiting for an answer as he moved to adjusted the younger boy’s collar as the brunette grabbed his bag. 

 

The pair stepped out of the dorm, locking the door behind them as they walked towards the bus stop- well the older of the two walked anyway. Donghae was practically skipping, holding onto his backpack somehow managing to look like a kindergartner as he leaned down to pet a puppy that had been doing it’s morning run with its owner. Heechul waited patiently for the brunette to stop squishing the puppy as he whispered words to endearment to the animal. 

 

The redhead had the luxury of being relaxed as things were going to plan so far. He even went as far as to name his elaborate set of instructions, ‘Steps to get Baby Hae to school in time; a guide by Kim Heechul.’ Of course he had to set a few minutes for Donghae to be completely distracted by random puppies they met across the street. 

 

“Aren’t you looking charming this morning?”A gruff drawl broke Heechul out of his adoring stupor.

 

He turned around to see Youngwoon staring at him, donning his sports wear, quirking a brow an expression of amusement adorning his face. Heechul looked down at himself, wincing in distaste as he realized he was still clad in an oversized shirt and a pair of flip flops, his face scrubbed bare if any makeup, his long hair tied into a messy bun- looking far from his image of a confident Casanova that seduced girls left and right.

 

“Well I’m a full time mom- I don’t have time to get all dolled up in the morning.” The redhead replied dryly before smirking. “But don’t worry Youngwoon, all the pretty girls will be flocking around me by the time we go clubbing.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll all get captivated by your sparkling personality.” The buff man nodded, grinning lazily as he glanced at the brunette who looked as if though he was planning to steal a stranger’s puppy- it wouldn’t be the first time the younger boy tried to hoard an animal into the dorms.

 

“Hae, it’s time to go. The bus will be here soon.” Heechul announced putting an end to the puppy-napping escapades. “You can’t be late today.”

 

“Oh yeah, good luck with the exams kiddo.” Youngwoon called out as he remembered, reaching out to ruffle the the tuft of brunette hair.

 

“Oh! I have an exam today!” Donghae exclaimed gasping as his doe-like orbs widened almost comically before pouting.

 

“Glad you were the last among us to realize you had an exam today.” The redhead commented with a look of fond exasperation as the trio walked towards the bus stop just in time for the the vehicle to pull up in front of it.

 

“Thank you for breakfast hyung.” The brunette murmured hugging the older boy. “I’ll get going now. Bye, Youngwoonnie hyung!”

 

The younger waved as he got on the bus, giving the two boys waiting on the pavement a toothy grin as he took his seat.

 

“He’s a total child- a baby even.” Youngwoon mused to himself as the bus sped off. “I wonder what he’ll be like when he’s all grown up, you know ready to get married, settled down and have a family and all that.”

 

Heechul’s thoughts drifted to all the fond memories he had shared with the younger brunette; everything from Donghae staying up all night on Christmas Eve, insisting that Santa was real to creating pillow fortresses to barricade themselves from alien invasions ran across his mind. A reality where the boy had grown up, where Donghae would be more invested in taxes and politics instead of rewatching ‘Finding Nemo’ for the thousandth time seemed so distant and unattainable.

 

“I wonder whether I’ll be able to let go of him...when he’s all grown up.” The redhead murmured aloud. 
 

•••

 

“God dammit it’s raining!” 

 

The sudden infuriated yell broke Heechul out of his sulking stupor, as he turned to face the silver haired man who seemed to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. Only then did he feel the light spray of rain falling down onto his face as he stared at blankly at Yesung who was loathingly glaring at the sky, his fists clenched.

 

“No. No. No! This can’t be happening!” Yesung stressed, running his fingers through his hair, tussling it slightly. “Today out of all days! It’s supposed to be sunny in Hawaii, it’s not supposed to ing rain!”

 

“Calm down, Sungie.” Heechul replied, breaking out of the daze as he addressed the younger man. “It’s just a few drops of rain.” 

 

“But it’s going to ruin the wedding hyung! I worked so hard to make today perfect!” The self-proclaimed wedding organizer whined in disappointment. 

 

Heechul glanced at glistening waves rolling into the shore elegantly behind the beautiful altar decorated with wreathes of ivory flowers- tulips, calla lilies and hyacinths galore- small strings of fairy lights forming almost a hood as the they hung above the aisle that lead to the altar. Rustic wooden chairs were arranged neatly on either sides of the velvet carpet that ran down the center of the aisle, pretty periwinkle bows painstakingly attached to each on of them. The older man had to give Yesung props for putting together a picturesque wedding venue all by himself. 

 

Heechul looked up at the sky, a soft smile gracing his face as a light drizzle of rain greeted him.

 

“It’s alright Sungie.” Heechul murmured, his voice trembling slightly as a distant memory of a young boy happily dancing in the rain flashed through his mind. “Donghae loves the rain. He’ll be delighted to get married under it.”

 

“That’s right.” Yesung answered, looking at the older man in surprise almost as if he was trying to identify the emotions displaying on his somber face. “Hae will love it. And Hyukjae- that brat will just have to deal with it.”

 

The silver haired man had taken his leave rather hurriedly claiming that he still had so much to do, while warning the older not to go to the kitchen as Ryeowook as completely taken over it and that the petit man will not take kindly to anyone who disturbed his culinary flow. This somehow left Heechul rooted on the spot, glumly staring at the private mansion they had rented for the wedding.

 

He wanted to kick himself for feeling so down. 

 

He wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

 

Heck- Heechul had been the most supportive of their relationship despite homouality practically being a taboo topic in South Korea. He had gone out of his way to make the couple feel included- even though them dating was a secret from the public-joining in as the members teased the duo, blurting out random innuendos squealing with laughter as they both squirmed in embarrassment.He was happy for the pair, he truly was. He had even helped Hyukjae plan the proposal for gods sake!

 

But it had all come crashing down at that moment when the blushing couple nervously held their intertwined hands up in the air, showing the restless members the two shining platinum bands on their fingers as all hell broke loose- the crowd of unruly men hooting and wolf whistling as they rushed forward to congratulate the happy pair. Heechul had been on the midst of gleefully clapping Hyukjae’s back, victoriously announcing that the younger had been a daft idiot to have been so nervous while proposing because Donghae would’ve probably followed him to the moon if he had asked him to. 

 

In the spur of the moment, the now-brunette yet triumphant diva had spun around to face a equally bashful Donghae, only to freeze in his tracks as he felt as if though a bucket of cold water had been dumped on his head. Heechul shook his head slightly, trying to erase the image of a small young boy with sparkling puppy-like eyes and a mischievous smile flashed through his mind. For a brief moment, he wondered when exactly Donghae grew up to become this handsome man standing before him. He wondered whether he would be able to accept that his little baby had grown up.But the unpleasant churning in his gut told him that no- he won’t be able to let go of the boy who meant the world to him just yet. 

 

Heechul was grateful that Donghae himself didn’t notice his blunder as Siwon barreled onto the latter, knocking them both onto the ground as he begged the other to let him officiate the wedding. And the brunette had been too distracted trying to reassure an overenthusiastic Siwon that he didn’t see the older man turn away to wipe a stray tear that had unknowingly fallen down his cheek. 

 

Releasing a conflicted sigh, he aimlessly wandered into the mansion- striding up the marble staircase towards one of the master bedrooms where some of the members were gathered.

 

“Hyung!” 

 

A voice broke him out of his trance as Heechul realized that his feet had carried him to the one person he had been thinking about all day.

 

“You look great.” The older man chuckled, taking in the sight of Donghae in his royal blue suit, his light blonde hair slightly frazzled probably after running his hand through it one too many times.

 

“Thanks, Chullie hyung.” The younger blonde murmured before throwing himself into the older man’s arms, nuzzling his nose against the other’s neck.

 

Heechul just about managed to hold back a pitiful whimper as he yet again glumly contemplated when exactly his baby had grown up to be this dashingly muscular man. Where did the skinny little boy who was scared of aliens disappear off to? The unpleasant churning in his gut intensified, his emotions going haywire as he felt the irrational urge to storm into Hyukjae’s room and scream at him for stealing his baby or get down on his knees and beg Donghae not to grow up and leave him. The older man’s heart pounded fearfully as he realized where his track of thoughts was leading him, but before he could run away and throw shamefully himself into the sea for even thinking about ruining the pair’s happiest day, a hand grabbed his wrist, stilling him in his tracks. 

 

“Hyung what’s wrong?” A pair of worried puppy-like orbs gazed at him.

 

“Nothing Hae. Don’t worry about it.” The older man answered, looking away. “Look, I have to go somewhere- I’ll be back soon.”

 

But Donghae didn’t even budge, tightening his grip around ’s wrist pulling them both into a bedroom with rustic furniture and closing the door behind them.

 

“But you look sad. I don’t want you to be sad- especially not on my wedding day.” The blonde mumbled pouting as he clung onto the older man’s side like a koala.

 

“I’m not sad Hae. Ok, maybe I am a bit sad but that’s because I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic.” Heechul explained, fully aware that he wasn’t making much sense.

 

“Nostalgic?” Donghae repeated earnestly, with imploring eyes.

 

“I just can’t help but remember those days that I literally had to wake you up, wash your face, feed you and send you off -otherwise you’d never have made it to school in time. Those days when you were just a baby and you refused to believe that Santa wasn’t real so we all bought you presents and put them under that cheap pine tree and pretended that a man with a white beard had squeezed himself down our nonexistent dorm chimney to give it to you. I’m just going to miss it you know- I’m going to miss you.” Heechul chuckled almost darkly, gently brushing the younger’s blonde strands of hair aside. 

 

“And it’s not like I’m not happy for you- because I am. Both of you deserve happiness but it’s just bothering me that I didn’t even notice how much you’ve grown until you showed up with an engagement ring.” He continued his smile twisting into a light grimace. “But just ignore me Hae- today’s your day and you deserve to be happy. Just ignore this sulking old man.”

 

To his utter devastation, Donghae’s beautiful orbs filled up with tears, his bottom lip trembled as it jutted out cutely. He flung his arms around the older man, sobbing against his shoulder.

 

“I love you hyung!” The blonde exclaimed through his tears as he sniffled.

 

“Hae...- Donghae...please don’t cry...Hyung’s sorry.” Heechul whispered brokenly as the younger tightened his grip around him. 

 

“Don’t be sorry hyung- you’re the best!” Donghae shook his head frantically, breaking away from the embrace.

 

It was then that the former-diva realized that the blonde laughing through his tears, a dazzling smile gracing his face. 

 

“Hae?” He asked in confusion.

 

“Sorry hyung, it’s just that my mother told me the exact same thing this morning.” The younger explained, clinging on to the other’s arm tightly. “And you’ve technically been my mother since I’ve joined Super Junior...and I think it’s nice-that you feel that way...I mean I know I sound selfish but it feels really nice to know how much you care...”

 

“Of course I care, Donghae.” Heechul answered, his voice breaking as he gathered the blonde into his arms. “I love you, you were my little baby.”

 

“I still am hyung- trust me! Marrying Hyuk won’t change a thing.” The younger murmured back with a soft chuckle. “I’ll still be a spoilt brat who barges into your apartment demanding food and cuddles. I love you too.”

 

They stated in the embrace for some time, both thinking about the memories of the past but also of the happiness the future may hold. Heechul only let go of the blonde when the door to the room opened and a certain Cho Kyuhyun in a dapper grey suit walked in, raising the eyebrow at the scene.

 

“Shut up.” Heechul growled before the man could even speak up.

 

“What? Teukie hyung was looking for you two.” Kyuhyun grinned before yelling out loudly. “Hyung! They’re in here! Being all emotional and mushy!”

 

Their leader entered the room, donning an ivory suit smiling at the pair as Kyuhyun lazily lounged in one of the sofas in the room, gazing at them idly.

 

“I just wanted to see how you were.” Leeteuk said softly, a hand reaching out to adjust the blonde’s messy tuft of hair. “Hyukjae’s seconds away from suggesting to elope, I think. Junsu and Changmin managed to convince him that he’s going to trip while walking down the aisle and make a fool of himself.”

 

“Yesung might murder him if he decided to elope- after all the wedding planning he did.” Heechul laughed, his conflicted feelings fading away until he was left with only one emotion- acceptance. He knew that Hyukjae would take good care of his Donghae. That much he was sure of.

 

“In that case, let me make my exit.” Kyuhyun announced smugly as he got up from the sofa. 

 

“Where are you going, Kyu?” Donghae asked cheerfully.

 

“To convince your husband-to-be that he’ll trip down the aisle and face plant on the wedding cake!” Kyuhyun called out as he strode out of the room, a self-satisfied grin gracing his face. 

 

“Poor Hyuk.” Leeteuk chuckled before turning to the younger. “You said you wanted to speak to me before the wedding Hae?” 

 

The blonde nodded his head, baring a cheeky grin as he took hold his leader’s wrist with one hand, grabbing Heechul’s arm with the other- dragging the two men into the hallway.

 

•••

 

“Hyung? Are you sleeping?”

 

Donghae asked as he flopped down on the bed, diving under the covers that were strewn about haphazardly on the old bed in an attempt to squeeze into the small space to lie next to his oldest hyung. And Leeteuk, who had been sound asleep until the little bugger created an earthquake on the mattress, grumbled noncommittally before making space for the brunette, letting the younger scouch closer before tucking the blanket around the both of them.

 

The bronze-haired older man, whose scalp still itched from the sudden dye-job, was just about to be lulled back to dreamland with a warm body cuddling his side when a small inquisitive voice shattered the peaceful tranquility.

 

“Hyung?” The brunette repeated softly.

 

“Yes, Donghae?” Leeteuk mumbled sleepily, letting out a sigh of fond exasperation knowing that the younger wouldn’t give up till he got his answer.

 

He was like an inquisitive toddler most of the time, asking the most bizarre questions about how big the ocean was and whether all the stars shining in the night sky where guardian angels looking over them. The bronze-haired man, who admittedly had a soft-spot for the young boy, entertained his thoughts coming up with the equally baffling and ludicrous tales to amuse the brunette. Leeteuk silently wished that his tired brain would function long enough for him to come up with another eccentric tale. After all it had been a long day of measly leader duties and that had gotten him a trickle of unwanted and rather humiliating insults and mockery from the management team.

 

There was a pause before the younger boy answered.

 

“Hyung, I’m-m... I’m scared...” Donghae whimpered out.

 

Leeteuk’s eyes snapped open in surprise, taking in the sight of the younger’s puffy eyes and trembling lips in the dim lights. His overworked brain that lacked its usual dose of caffeine suggested that maybe he should check for monsters under the bed, but he brushed those thoughts aside- even though Donghae acted like a baby most of the time doesn’t mean he was a literal child. Or was he? The older blearily shook his head, leaning over to turn on the lamp on the bedside table.

 

“What’s wrong?” The bronze haired man questioned, drawing the younger boy closer to him.

 

“Hyung, you‘ll never leave me right?” Donghae asked timidly, his lower lip wobbling, unshed tears shining in his eyes. 

 

“Of course I won’t. Why would you even think that?” Leeteuk replied, running his fingers through the long locks of brown hair soothingly.

 

“I overheard the managers talking about how well Heechul hyung’s doing as an actor.” The brunette murmured, not meeting the other’s eyes. “And how well Shindong hyung and Hyukkie are doing in variety shows- they were saying that it’ll be good to break the group apart and send us on our different ways. I mean it’s only been a few months since we debuted- they won’t disband us so soon right?”

 

Leeteuk’s heart clenched as the younger voiced out the truth that he had hoped the other members would never find out. That their beautiful group, Super Junior, could end as soon as it’s journey began.

 

“Of course not Hae, I won’t let that happen.” The older answered quietly, his heart clenching with guilt as the lie slipped through his lips. 

 

The truth was just one word of disapproval from the higher ups and Super Junior would crumble to dust. The bronze-haired idol knew that it’d only take moments for all their dreams to shatter and it was a terrifying feeling- losing everything that they had fought so hard for.

 

“It’s not that I’m happy for them- I’m so glad that Chullie hyung and Kibummie are doing so well in acting.” Donghae murmured softly, his puppy-like orbs downcast as he fiddled with the material of his baby blue cotton pajamas. “But I can’t help but feel that they’re slowly drifting away from me...from us... then I feel guilty for thinking that because they’re finally getting the recognition they deserve and who am I to interfere with their success.”

 

“It’s just that you and I have known each other for years now and we’ve finally gotten the chance to be a part of a group together.” The younger continued, snuggling close to his leader, “And I’m only just getting to know Ryeowookie and Shindong hyung and they’re all just fun people that I love being friends with and I’m worried that I’ll lose everyone I care about if something happens to Super Junior. I... I’m scared that I’ll end up alone.”

 

Leeteuk silently gazed at the brunette who suddenly seemed so grown up and mature, yet so small and fragile at the same time.

 

“What brought this on, Hae?” He asked, lovingly the other’s hair, urging him to speak up.

 

“Nothing hyung...just you know- my appa doesn’t have much time left... and I’m not very good at dealing with loss.” The younger mumbled quietly, his eyes already filled with unshed tears. “And I... other than my family, Super Junior was the only constant thing in my life...and I get attached easily and I’m so so attached to us and I think I might actually die if I lose this too- if I lose you too.”

 

“Oh Hae...” Leeteuk murmured, as the younger curled onto his side, glistening tears rolling steadily down his cheeks. 

 

The bronze-haired man wrapped his strong arms around the small quivering frame, letting the other muzzle into his chest as he brought up a hand to wipe away the wetness on the brunette’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb, sighing sadly.

 

“I’m sorry you have to go through this Donghae.” The leader murmured softly. “And I’m sorry that I can’t do much to soothe the pain- but I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to keep Super Junior going. And I promise that no matter what happens I’ll always be by your side okay? I won’t let you down.”

 

“You’ll stay with me forever?” The younger’s big brown orbs gazed at him, a spark of joy flashing through the sadness and the fear that seemed to haunt his very soul.

 

“Of course I will.” Leeteuk smiled, his dimples appearing as bumped the brunette’s forehead with his. “Otherwise who’ll take care of you?”

 

For a moment his thoughts drifted back to the heartbreaking conversation he’d had with Donghae’s father. The older man had implored the leader to look after his youngest son who meant the world to him. And in his mind, the brunette was already his little baby who had inevitably secured a special place in his heart.

 

“Thank you hyung. I love you.” The younger smiled happily, curling into the bronze-haired man’s embrace.

 

“I love you too Hae.” Leeteuk replied gently, pulling the boy closer to him draping the thin blanket around both of them.

 

The leader himself was still young, still rookie in the industry. It was a tedious job, dragging a group of twelve unruly boys along with him towards what he hoped was success but he knew that every tear he shed out of frustration and pure anger would be worth it, because at the end of the day- this was his family. 

 

Donghae fell asleep almost instantly in the leader’s arms, his nose nuzzling the material of the older’s cotton shirt as he snuggled close. Leeteuk was about to be lulled back to sleep with a warm body clinging onto him, cuddling him like a giant life-size plushie when the door to his room opened for the second time that night and a man with a striking tuft of long red locks strode in. 

 

“Can I help you?” The older asked, raising a brow as the intruder stood by the door awkwardly.

 

Things weren’t so good between him and Heechul these days. The higher-ups seemed to enjoy pitting the two same-aged boys up against each other for their own amusement. And it had driven a wedge right between his and the redheaded diva’s friendship, making them both uneasy at the each other’s presence.

 

“Kibum said that Donghae went to your room.” Heechul mumbled quietly, not meeting the leaders eyes. “I bought him a Nemo keychain after the shooting finished today- I just wanted to give it to him.”

 

The tiredness seemed to ooze out of the diva as the leaned against the door and for a moment Leeteuk felt an onslaught of guilt. They were both struggling. It wasn’t fair of him to pin all his worries on the other’s success. It wasn’t Heechul’s fault that his snarky, no-nonsense attitude got him multiple spots in the variety shows. And it certainly wasn’t his fault that all the higher-ups kept using that very same fact against the leader, to mock him. To ridicule him. To make him feel as though he wasn’t good enough.

 

“He just fell asleep. Maybe you could give it to him tomorrow?” Leeteuk suggested softly, as they both looked down at the small blanket wrapped bundle in his arms.

 

Heechul bit his lip, nodding silently and for once the bronze-haired man could see the pain and the wariness that he usually hid behind his mocking quips. He wanted to ask whether the other was okay. Whether the redhead was struggling during shooting or whether something else had happened. But they weren’t friends anymore and any personal question he asked would probably be met with an awkward silence. So he edged slightly towards the corner of the bed, his back hitting the wall, bringing the sleeping boy along with him until a small slit of space was revealed in the other side. 

 

“There’s room for one more.” Leeteuk offered, looking at the man still frozen at the doorway.

 

And even though there was barely any room for two people to fit on the bed let alone three, Heechul took him up on the offer, slipping under the thin sheets, letting his chest rest against the brunette’s back as he wrapped his arms snuggly around the younger. Leeteuk beamed, inwardly cooing, as he stared down at the small boy who shifted in his sleep before settling down again, a tiny peaceful smile on his face as he drifted off into dreamland, in the arms of two of his most trusted hyungs.

 

“I’m sorry.” Heechul suddenly said, startling the leader out of his adoring stupor.

 

Leeteuk wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. Whether this was about the animosity between the two ever since they joined Super Junior. Whether it was for the moody temper tantrums he’d been throwing recently. Whether this was about the way they’ve begun to avoid each other. Either way, they’ve been through too much to let go of each other so easily.

 

“It’s fine.” The leader sighed, taking another peak at the brunette. “Just don’t...just don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do...he needs us.”

 

“I won’t.” Heechul replied quietly, pressing a soft kiss to the younger’s puffy cheek, keeping Donghae in his protective embrace as the night fell upon them.

 

Maybe Donghae didn’t need to be worried in the first place, Leeteuk thought as he drifted off to sleep. Because at the end of the day, they’ll all find their way back to the boy they adored.

 

•••

Leeteuk felt an acute sense of déjà vu as the blonde dragged them through the long hallways of the  French Normandy styled mansion, tightly gripping onto his and Heechul’s hands as he weaved his way through the corridors. 

 

For a moment the older man reminisced that bright sunny day all those  years ago, right after the infamous Incheon battle, when Donghae insisted that the three of them should go to the archade together to repair their friendship. The two oldest members soon had to hold back sighs of fond exasperation because as noble as the blonde’s intentions may have been, he got distracted completely and spend the day playing all the games he could get his hands on, curtesy of his hyungs’ wallets. As devastating as the results were to his bank account, he had never once regretted it once he saw the look of pure delight in Donghae’s face. He had never been able to deny the younger of anything.

 

“You might run into Hyukjae if you keep going this way.” Heechul suddenly spoke, stopping the trio from walking any further, instead steering them towards on if the drawing rooms. “You know it’s unlucky to see him before the actual wedding.”

 

“We weren’t really keeping things traditional hyung.” Donghae laughed, bright and happy as he gently punched the older man on the shoulder.

 

“Speaking of which, why the hell are you wearing white to someone else’s wedding?” The former-diva scoffed, raising a brow at Leeteuk.

 

“Well since the grooms weren’t going to do it- someone had to.” He answered chuckling, gesturing at the blonde’s royal blue suit.

 

“That’s all Kyuhyunnie and Changmin’s fault!” The younger whined blushed slightly, clinging onto Heechul’s side as he spoke. “They said who ever wore white would be the girl in the relationship