“Let’s break up…” the words were like tiny bombs that repeatedly exploded inside my heart.

“Wha…what? Why?” I still tried to act rationally as I tried to pick up all the pieces of my heart that were already scattered all over the place.

“I found someone else,” the man answered casually as if he just said something so simple.

“Someone else?” I asked again as my mind started to spin. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I wanted to scream and hit the man in front of me. But I couldn’t… I wouldn’t even dare… even if I was already dying inside. I still loved him. And though he has hurt me, I still want to respect him and his decision.

The tears started to cloud my eyes… And slowly I tried to memorize and lock away the last glimpse of the man whom I have shared the last five years of my life.

************************
December 15

“Elora, wake up. We’re going to be late,” Trina suddenly shouted while she carefully arranged all my things that were scattered on the floor. “You’ve been drinking again? For god’s sake, get over it. He’s just a lousy guy who doesn’t deserve your love. Why don’t you just go out and find yourself another man… a more suitable guy for you. Someone who will take care of you and who will cherish you, someone who isn’t like that horrible guy you were with. I have been telling you for the last five years that he’s no good. But you didn’t listen. Now look at you. While you’re here, wasting your time and your life, crying over him…. he’s out there, celebrating with some cheap girl he picked up from bar. Come on, try to pull yourself together. Today is my special day. You promised me you will come with me … remember?”

Slowly I sat up on my bed and just looked at her with a blank expression on my face. Then without thinking I nodded my head. I didn’t want to disappoint my best friend. So I tried to put on a fake smile and started to act like normal… even if for just one day, for my friend’s sake.

******************************
Night time came, the mask I had carefully put on have slowly faded away. And though the entire place was full of happy faces and cheerful laughs, my heart was still drowning in emptiness.

I sadly stared at my friend as she happily danced with the man she just married. I wasn’t sad for her. But I was sad for myself. While she was rejoicing, I was mourning the love that I had lost weeks ago. I constantly tried to tell myself to just forget him but I don’t think that it would be easy to forget especially when I spent five years of my life with him. And with those thoughts in mind, again I tried to find the only friend that could help my aching heart.

I was already finished with 5 glasses of wine, when Trina quickly took the last glass away from me. “Stop it! Please don’t do this… not on my wedding day… please,” she beg with a sad look in her eyes.

“I… I am sorry,” I tried to utter.

“You promised me you would try to forget and be yourself today. I hope that you would honor your promise,” Trina said softly as I quickly felt the guilt and shame quickly envelop me.

“Sorry, I promise I will try to behave from now on,” I said as a joke.

Trina unexpectedly embraced me, and softly she whispered. “I know it hurts. And I am sorry too that I can’t do anything to ease even one bit of it. But maybe this is a blessing for you. Maybe it’s time that you to look at things differently.” She then looked at me, with the most caring eyes. She knew what I was going through and she was trying to help me in her own way. Somehow I couldn’t stop the tears anymore. My eyes started to fill up with tears. Trina didn’t know what to do so she just decided to follow what she said with a joke. “You know, Christmas is just a few days away, maybe you can make a Christmas wish and you might never know… Santa might give you what you wish for,” she said with a light laugh.

With tears still clouding my eyes, I also laughed. “Yes, you’re right. Just like old times. We always write letters to Santa every Christmas. Who knows, maybe he would be good to me and give me my wish…” I uttered.

Trina nodded and smiled. “Just believe… and pray… everything will surely work out.”

I nodded back. She was right. Maybe it was time to let go…

A sweet melody filled the entire place and it started to make my heart cry again. I quickly tried to think of something that could take my mind off… him. Unconsciously I took out a pen and started to write on a piece of table napkin. The Christmas greeting that I was planning to write somehow went to a different direction.

Merry Christmas. . .
Can I also say these words when my heart is crying out in pain?
I don’t know what I did to deserve the pain I am going through right now.
But all I know is that no matter how I try, I just can’t seem to hate you.
I have tried to forget you but I still end up thinking about you.
Where are you? Are you happy?
And even though I am feeling cold and empty right now,
If there is really a Santa Claus somewhere in this crazy world,
I just want to wish for one thing…
I want to wish for happiness.
Happiness for you and happiness for me…
We may not have been fated to spend the rest of our lives together.
But I am still thankful that I was able to share even just a few precious moments with you.
Your memories will forever fill my soul with love.
I will always keep them close to my heart.
And even if I am already in another man’s arms, my love for you will forever live inside my heart.
Thank you for everything and goodbye.

Then I carefully took out the engagement ring that I had been taking care of for more than a year now…and carefully wrapped it in the napkin.

******

“Elora, come on… You’re coming with us right? We’re going to the hotel now… We already arranged a room for you,” Trina said as she quickly took my hand and pulled me away from the table.

I wanted to grab the piece of napkin where I placed my heart and soul in. But then I suddenly thought that maybe it was better to leave it. So that way, I was really saying goodbye to everything…

******

A few minutes passed….

A man carefully picked up a piece of napkin that was left lying on the table. He was about to throw it away when he noticed something. Curiously he unfolded the napkin and was surprised to see a ring, he then noticed the writing on the napkin and started to read it. Slowly he felt the pain and sadness of the person who wrote it. He then started to look around. He was somehow wishing that he could meet the person who wrote it. Somehow he wanted to console that person. A few years ago, he was also in that kind of state so he knew how painful and how hard it is to live with such a painful experience. But luckily he met an old man who told him about the true meaning of love and happiness. He could still remember his words.

“There are times that you will love and get hurt in return, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop loving. It just means that it isn’t the right time yet. So you just have to keep on trying until you finally find the one who is destined for you. Crying, drinking or doing silly things won’t help but will only add more pain and hurt to yourself, so just learn to accept things as they come and try to look at the brighter side of things. Keep that in mind, young man. One day, you will also meet another person like you. I hope when that time comes, you will also help that poor soul. Since you will never know, what fate is planning for you.”

“Junsu, who are you looking for?” Jaejoong curiously asked.

“Aahh, someone left something important on the table. I was kind of hoping that I could give it back to that person,” Junsu answered.

“I see, wait okay, I’ll go and ask around,” Jaejoong said as he quickly left.

******

Minutes passed,

“One of the waiters said that a wedding party just finished before we arrived. And that the bride and some of the bridesmaids are continuing their party in a hotel. And guess what?” Jaejoong asked with a mischievous smile.

“What?” Junsu asked.

“You’re in luck since one of the waiters remembered who sat here. He said that the girl’s name was Elora. He overheard the bride and the girl talking to each other several times so he quickly remembered the girl’s name,” Jaejoong answered.

Junsu smiled happily. “Thank you… and did you by any chance get the name of the hotel that they were supposed to go to?” he quickly asked.

“Yes, of course…” Jaejoong replied. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on but I already know you so long. So I am sure that this is something very important. So come on…I’ll drive,” he said with a wide grin.

*******

Elora quietly slipped out of the hotel room and went straight to the restaurant downstairs. She needed a drink. She was already on her fourth glass when someone suddenly sat down in front of her.

“Sorry to bother you… but are you by any chance Elora?” Junsu asked.

Elora stared at the man sitting in front of her. “Yes, I am Elora. And you are?”

“I am Junsu.”

“Have we met before?” Elora asked while trying to remember the sweet smiling face in front of her.

“Honestly this is the first time we met. Look, I just wanted to return something to you. I believe it is yours,” Junsu replied.

“What is it?” Elora inquired while different questions were filling her mind.

Junsu then carefully took out the piece of napkin that he had found in the bar.

Elora quickly recognized the napkin and the ring in front of her. Immediately she felt strange.

“How… how did you know it belongs to me? And how did you find me?” she asked curiously.

Junsu smiled. “My friend was actually the one who found you. He asked the waiters in the bar.”

Elora lowered her eyes. “You just wasted your time looking for me. I no longer care about that ring. That’s why I left it in the bar. So just throw it away…” she uttered as she continued to sip the wine she was drinking.

Junsu carefully looked at the woman sitting in front of her. “Would you believe in fate?” he suddenly asked.

Elora quickly glanced at Junsu. “Fate?” she asked with a light laugh. “Yes, before I did. But not anymore…”

Junsu smiled. “I believe you need a friend right now…I read what you wrote and I felt the pain that you’re going through. I know how hard it is, since I also experienced the same thing a few years ago. But because of someone I met, I was able to cope and move on. And so now, I also want to do the same. Can you please let me help you as well?”

“Friend?” Elora asked. “I already have many friends. What I need is…” she was about to say something but then stopped. She realized that she was already saying too much to a stranger. “Why am I talking to you, when I don’t even know you?” she quickly asked in a confused manner.

“Yes, you’re right. But you can never say you have too many friends, you know. The more friends you have, the happier your life will be. So how about we just start this properly okay?” Junsu said with a sweet smile. “Hello, I am Kim Junsu,” he said as he formally introduced himself and offered his hand to her.

Elora stared at the hand in front of her. She knew it was strange but something was telling her to accept it. And after a few minutes of thinking, she finally decided.

She smiled back at Junsu, as she handed her hand as well. “I guess it’s really fate then…Hello, I am Elora,” she uttered with a light laugh. She was thinking that she was being silly by giving in to Junsu’s sweet talk.

Junsu suddenly gave Elora the most charming smile that somehow made her heart feel lighter. She then started to think…. “Maybe he’s right, maybe I do need another friend.”

And as their hands touched, a different kind of spark somehow emanated from it.

Junsu couldn’t help but smile again. He knew it was going to be the start of something beautiful… It was going to be the start of their true happiness….