Secret Love

A Jongup Oneshot

                I stood outside of TS Entertainment with my hood secure over my head.  I looked away from each person that passed me as if I was a convict on the lam.  It wasn’t like anyone would recognize me, I was nobody.  I shook the thought out of my head.  I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.I looked down at the sidewalk and watched the puddles forming on the ground.  The water was so clear I could gaze upon my own reflection.   The fresh curls I had put in my hair were slowly becoming undone because of the rain.  I shouldn’t have done it.  I knew it was raining.  I was the only idiot wearing a knee length dress, stockings and open toe shoes in this weather.  I always got dressed up for these meetings.  They were only about two minutes long before someone would recognize him and I would have to run off.  It was pointless for someone like me to be with him, he was somebody. I looked at my watch; I had been standing there for ten minutes.  He had to practice.  I was just in the way.  I my heels and began to retreat.  I would call him later and tell him I forgot.  He would be okay with it, he never got mad at me.  Even when I yelled at him and accused him of loving his fans more than he did.  He would move the strands of hair from my face and caress my cheeks.  He would rest his forehead upon mine and assure me that the love he had for his fans and the love he had for me were two different kinds.  The memories confirmed my need to leave, I was just a distraction to his work. 

                “Noona.”  That wasn’t his voice.  That was Baby Zelo’s.  I turned slowly and smiled.  He was so adorable, I couldn’t tell him I was doubting dating his hyung. “Where are you going?”  He asked me walking down the steps covering me with his umbrella as he did.

“I-I was going to go to the café down the street and call Jongup-ah from there.”  I lied so easily.  Just like I lied when people asked me if I had a boyfriend at all.  Zelo cocked his head to the side.

“Why don’t you just come inside here?  Jongup-hyung is just going over the choreography one more time.  You know how he is…” Zelo smiled and seemed shocked when I hesitated before returning it.

“It’s fine, I’ll just see him another time.”  He shook his head and grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the building.

“Hyung would be greatly surprised if he sees you!  You never come inside.  He questions if you’re proud of him.”  My eyebrows rose. 

“He does.”

“Yeah, that’s why he works so hard. But you never talk about work and you never see him practice.  I think he’s paranoid.  He should know you foreigners don’t dwell on your jobs all the time.” He let go of my wrist and I was standing in front of the window that overlooked the practice room.  Jongup was the only  one in the room, dancing. 

“I have to run an errand but I’ll see you later noona.”  I smiled and ruffled his hair.  He was tall for his age so I had to lean up, even though we were only a year apart.  He grinned before leaving.  I turned back to Jongup.  He was wearing his usual tank top and his skin was glistening from sweat.  I remember the stressed out trainee I first met and gazed in wonder at the idol I was now dating.

I knocked on the window and he looked up slowly.  A smile grew on his lips as he ran out the room.  His lips instantly touched mine.

“I missed you.”  He whispered. I felt like I heard that way too much.

“I missed you too.”  We hugged and he held me to him.  We both knew that if any one walked in, disaster could strike.  If someone let out we were dating, the company could punish Jongup for dating AND not telling them.  Only BAP members knew the truth. That’s why I was nobody to the eyes of the world.  But as he looked into his eyes before he kissed me again, I realized that even with frizzy hair and damp stockings—I was somebody to him. It was this that washed every doubt and made our secret love worth fighting for.