“Minjoo, practice the intro. You’re in the center, you can’t mess up.” Practice just ended for Secret Story of the Swan and their dance teacher is giving her last reminders. Minjoo took note of what she said, burying it deep in her head even until they came back to their dorm.

Practice. You can’t mess up. Don’t mess up, Minjoo.

“Unnie?” Minjoo sighed in relief at the sound of the voice.

“Are you okay?” She hummed and immediately ran to the open arms awaiting her, “I’m fine now.”

They stood in front of the closed door of the room, hugging each other tightly. “Thank you, Yujin,” Minjoo slowly detached herself from the younger girl, “You always make me feel better.”

Yujin smiled and leaned in, but inches away from Minjoo’s lips, the latter pushed her away, “Y-Yujin, we talked about this.”

“Yeah, we did, but no one’s around. We can—“

“That’s not it, Yujin,” Minjoo balled the fabric of Yujin’s shirt, “We’re not supposed to be doing this. You can't just kiss me like that.”

Yujin reached for the older’s chin to tilt her head up, “Unnie, you don’t have to be afraid. It’s just us two right now, no one will know.”

“You don’t understand,” Minjoo swatted Yujin’s hand away from her face, “I don’t want you to think that we can ever be more than just.. us!”

To say that Yujin was hurt was an understatement, “But you feel the same way, don’t you? Why can’t you think about yourself for once, unnie? Be more selfis—“

“I don’t want to jeopardize what we have. This group, we all worked hard to be here and we’ve come so far just to ruin it,” Tears steamed from the pent up feelings Minjoo has been trying to keep for so long.

Yujin stayed mum, breathing through her gritted teeth. “There’s so much— too much to lose, Yujin-ah.”

The slamming of the door made Minjoo’s heart jump. She knew she couldn’t be selfish even if she wanted nothing but to kiss Yujin until they were breathless, she couldn’t. There’s just too much to lose.

•

“Minjoo,” The said girl finds Eunbi cooking way too much food early in the morning, “can you help me with those?” Minjoo follows Eunbi’s line of sight and figured she needed help with toast.

She took the bread and butter from the table before proceeding to cook beside the leader. “Why’re you cooking so much today, unnie?”

Eunbi downed her can of sprite, “Yujin’s taking the GED exam today.”

Minjoo flinched after hearing the younger girl’s name, “O-oh, that’s today?”

The oldest hummed, too focused on flipping the kimchi pancakes to talk, “Actually, can you wake her up?”

“M-me?” Eunbi didn’t seem to be bothered by the question and no one else is awake. Minjoo didn’t have a choice.

Minjoo walked hesitantly, thinking of every possible scenario in her head. She wiped her sweaty hands on the apron and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Her jaw dropped when the door opened to reveal Yujin with her bedhead and glasses on. The girl rarely wears her glasses and mostly rely on contact lenses, but that’s probably a tactic to hide her swollen eyes.

“G-good morning,” Minjoo choked on her spit at the sight of Yujin, “Eunbi unnie and I are c-cooking breakfast for—“

Minjoo has never felt more unimportant in her life before as Yujin walked past her without a word and she tries to hold her tears in by reminding herself of the amount of risks in their way. 

•

“Yah, Kim Minjoo!”

“Y-yes?” Minjoo was seated on the floor, catching her breath after dancing to Secret Story of The Swan over and over again.

“You’re spacing out so much these days. What’s up?” Minjoo knew that Chaeyeon would be the first to realize the shift in her behavior. The older girls has always paid much attention to each of them.

“Nothing, just a bit pressured. I’m in the center for the intro and it’s so easy to mess up,” Minjoo rolls her water bottle between both hands.

“I get that,” Chaeyeon sat beside her and took the bottle from her hands, “but what is it really? The thing that’s bothering you?”

Minjoo also knew that Chaeyeon is sensitive enough to know if she’s telling the truth or not. “Because Yujin’s been passive lately, too.”

Chaeyeon whips her head towards the direction of the young girl. Usually, with the ridiculous amount of energy she ha