The moment Mark opened the door, he knew he was in love.

 

Maybe it was strange to claim feelings of love for an apartment, especially one that wasn't his and didn't contain a single object that had anything to do with him. But he'd been excited about this trip for so long that the perfection of the apartment he would be staying in for the next few weeks could only translate into love. It was on the small side, but so were all the other listings he'd browsed in Tokyo when planning for the trip. There was one main room with a kitchenette squeezed to the side, furnished with little more than a low seated table, overhead cabinets, several floor cushions, and a TV mounted on the wall. Opposite from the kitchenette was a sliding door leading into the small bedroom where a futon and comforter laid freshly made on the floor.

 

But what Mark was truly in love with was the view from the bedroom window, which looked out onto all the neon lights of downtown Shinjuku. It was the exact kind of view he'd dreamed of having when he'd moved to Seoul, but he'd ended up with a scenic view of a convenience store lot, complete with dumpsters that he had to listen to being emptied by trash trucks once a week while he was trying to sleep. But here, the view was properly flawless, a vibrant tableau of city life like something out of a movie montage.

 

“Perfect,” he said out loud, setting down his suitcase. It had been awhile since he'd felt this happy. He loved traveling, but it had been a long time since he'd actually gotten to do it. Moving to Seoul wasn't the same as taking a vacation, and ever since he'd arrived there, he'd been swept up into his university studies with little time for anything else. He'd be starting his first professional job as a sales assistant at a publishing company specializing in manhwa soon, so this two week vacation would be his last stretch of freedom for awhile. He planned to take full of advantage of it.

 

He glanced at the digital clock in the bedroom. 9:15 PM. It had been a later flight, and though it had only been about two hours long, he was still feeling a little sleepy. As tempted as he was to immediately set out exploring—this apartment was very close to Shinjuku's nightlife hub, Kabukicho—he decided to save the real start of his sightseeing for tomorrow morning. Instead, he got to work unpacking his things and going over the list of apartment rules the Airbnb owner had left on the table in the main room. After a quick shower and a late night snack grabbed from his suitcase, Mark pulled out a volume of manhwa from his soon-to-be company to read for an hour before his usual bedtime of midnight.

 

He was only two pages in when he heard what sounded like a suitcase rolling up to a stop outside of his door. His brow furrowed. The apartment was part of a larger complex, so it wasn't out of the question for another traveler to be renting a room next door. But why would they be stopping in front of his door?

 

Mark got up from the futon, and had only just stepped into the main room when the door opened. A young man about his age was standing out in the hallway, one hand on the handle of a suitcase. He looked exhausted, Mark couldn't help but notice even through his surprise at this appearance of a random stranger to his room. The young man had bags under his eyes, and a slumped, almost defeated posture. When he looked at Mark standing in the room, there was a flash of confusion in his eyes, but even that didn't outweigh the much more striking weariness.

 

Is this the owner?, Mark wondered. The guy didn't look Japanese, but Mark couldn't imagine who else would be showing up at the rental. Maybe he'd forgotten it had been booked and had meant to crash there for the night.

 

“Um,” Mark said, shifting awkwardly, trying to remember the Japanese he'd learned in preparation for his trip. “Um...boku wa...renter desu.” He didn't know the Japanese word for 'renter.'

 

The guy stared at him blankly, hand tightening against his suitcase handle. “Tenant desu,” he said in a flat voice. From his accent, it was clear that just like Mark, he wasn't Japanese. Maybe that was why he'd mistakenly called himself a 'tenant.' He couldn't be. Mark was the one renting the room...right?

 

“I'm the one renting this room,” Mark said in English.

 

The guy shook his head. “You have mistake,” he said in awkward English. “I rent here.”

 

“Do you speak Korean?” Mark tried. The guy looked Korean, and he had a feeling they weren't going to make any progress in Japanese or English.

 

“Yes,” the guy said in Korean, relaxing just infinitesimally. “You?”

 

“Yes,” Mark said. “What I've been trying to say is that I've booked this room for the next two weeks. I'm supposed to be here.”

 

“But I booked this room. You must be mistaken.”

 

“No, I'm definitely not,” Mark said firmly. “Room 340? Rented by Mitsuhiro Onuki? I had the code to get in the front door?”

 

The guy in the hallway groaned and pulled out his phone. After a few swipes, he turned the screen to Mark. It was the Airbnb app. And it showed that Park Jinyoung had successfully booked Room 340 for two weeks.

 

“What?” Mark said numbly. He fumbled for his own phone, wondering if he had made a mistake after all. But when he pulled up the app, his booking showed for the exact same room and exact same dates. He showed Jinyoung, heart plummeting.

 

“They double booked us?” For someone who looked like he would pass out asleep in two seconds, Park Jinyoung sounded impressively livid. “How? I didn't think that was even possible on Airbnb!”

 

“I don't know how it happened either,” Mark said. “But I'm sure we can sort it out.” He bit his lip. “You should come in. We might be disturbing people by talking in the hallway.”

 

“Of course I should come in, I paid for this room,” Jinyoung sniped. He dragged his suitcase in and slammed the door shut behind him. It would have been a bit rude on another occasion, but Mark really couldn't blame him for being crabby. He'd apparently gotten in on a later flight than Mark had, and had most likely wanted to go straight to bed, not put up with an unexpected headache at his lodgings.

 

“OK, OK, I'll call the owner,” Mark said quickly. “Hopefully he can do something about this.”

 

“It's eleven at night. Would he even be awake? Is he even in Japan right now?”

 

Mark had no idea. He found the owner's number and tried calling. It went straight to voicemail. Mark in his breath. Not good.

 

“Um, hey, Onuki-san,” he said when the message beeped. He hoped the owner was able to understand English. “This is Mark Tuan, and I'm renting your place in Shunjuku? There's been an issue with the room being double booked. Could you call me back?” After leaving his number, he dropped the call.

 

Jinyoung was pacing back and forth. “What are we supposed to do?” he asked in a frantic voice. “This is ridiculous! The owner is probably asleep. What are we supposed to do until then?”

 

Mark wasn't sure himself. It was going to be midnight soon. Would a hotel even accept a reservation this late? Could Jinyoung even afford a proper hotel?

 

“Stay here, I guess?” Mark said finally, not really seeing another option. “We can share for one night, until Onuki gets back to us tomorrow morning?”

 

Jinyoung looked at him as if this was the stupidest thing Mark could have said. “I don't even know you,” he pointed out.

 

“Uh...yeah...but...it'll just be like staying a hostel, right? It'll just be a night. I promise I won't bother you. It won't be a big deal.”

 

To his surprise, Jinyoung—who he'd worried might burst into a temper tantrum based on his earlier behavior—suddenly looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Why does everything always go wrong?” he said in a quiet, watery voice. “.”

 

Mark was not prepared to deal with a stranger's tears and was beginning to feel a little frantic himself. “Seriously, I promise not to be a bother,” he said in a pleading voice. “It'll be OK. You can use the futon. I can sleep on the...” He glanced around. There was no couch. . “Um, I'll sleep on the floor,” he said resignedly. If it was just one night, he'd suffer through it.

 

Jinyoung still looked a hair's breadth away from a meltdown, but after a minute, in his breath and nodded. “We can share the futon,” he said in a tight voice. “It's big enough. If it's just one night.”

 

Mark smiled encouragingly. “It'll be OK,” he said again. He wasn't happy about the situation himself, but clearly Jinyoung had had a terrible day and he wasn't about to make it worse. “It's really lucky I know Korean so we could talk this out, huh?”

 

“Lucky,” Jinyoung repeated. It didn't sound like he was agreeing at all. Mark's smile faded a little. Whatever was up with Jinyoung, he wasn't going to be able to fix, clearly.

 

Mark cleared his throat. “Well...” he said. “I was going to bed.”

 

Jinyoung nodded curtly. “I'm going to use the restroom. Don't feel the need to stay up for me.”

 

“Right. OK.” Mark held back a sigh. Even for just a night, this was really going to be awkward. “Goodnight, then. Oh, I'm Mark, by the way.”

 

“Jinyoung,” Jinyoung said in an awkward mumble.

 

“Nice to meet you, even though the circumstances . Goodnight?”

 

Jinyoung didn't say anything back, so Mark went back into the room and collapsed into the futon. He'd been ready to sleep in the middle, but now he scooted to the left side. His half, now.

 

So much for the perfect apartment, he thought, yawning sleepily. Oh well. It really is just for one night, after all.

 

He had just started dozing off when he heard Jinyoung come back inside the bedroom. There were some rustles and sounds of zippers as he pulled things from his suitcase, and then a minute later he slipped into the futon beside Mark. He released a weary sigh that seemed almost never ending. Mark felt like he should sit up and try and apologize again, but held himself back. This wasn't his fault, right? Whatever was going on, it wasn't his fault or responsibility.

 

Mark squeezed his eyes shut again, waiting for Jinyoung's breathing to steady and even out. It struck him suddenly that he'd never shared a bed with a total stranger before. A room, yes, but not a bed. In a bed, he could feel every shift of Jinyoung's body as he adjusted—or failed to adjust given how much he was squirming. It was strange. If Jinyoung fell asleep this moment, Mark would be able to see every rise and fall of his chest if he wanted, and hear up close the way he breathed when he slept. The snores, the sighs, the little mumbles—the intimate things usually reserved for close family and lovers.

 

I should fall asleep first, then, Mark thought determinedly. He didn't want to feel like he was invading Jinyoung's privacy. But then again, if he fell asleep first, Jinyoung would be the one hearing his little snores and uncovering the fact that Mark's mouth tended to fall open when he was sleeping, which sometimes led to drooling.

 

Mark bit his lip. These were all stupid thoughts to be having, likely a product of jet lag. He should just shut his brain off and go to sleep.

 

He did, but not before hearing Jinyoung release one more never ending sigh into the heavy silence.

 

0

 

When he woke up in the morning, Jinyoung wasn't on the futon beside him. His suitcase was in the room, though, so he hadn't completely bailed for a hotel. Mark checked his phone. No voicemails from Onuki. The situation was still apparently up in the air.

 

Mark opened the door and stepped out into the main room. No Jinyoung. He'd apparently gone out, maybe to get food since there wasn't any in the apartment other than the snacks in Mark's suitcase, or maybe to get an early start on sightseeing. Mark had wanted to do the same, but he was a bit more uncertain now. Shouldn't he hang around and make sure the lodging issue got sorted out? Shouldn't he see if he could get a new room in case he had to leave?

 

No way, he thought immediately. This is my perfect room. And technically I got here first and unpacked and everything. Jinyoung's the one who should find a new room. No offense, Jinyoung. He felt bad about it, especially since Jinyoung looked more in need of a stress-free vacation than he did, but fair was fair. He'd already made himself at home for a good two hours before Jinyoung had shown up.

 

With that resolve, he decided to head out. When Onuki called back, Mark would ask him to call and break the news to Jinyoung. It wouldn't be that big of a deal in the long run. Onuki would refund him, or maybe Airbnb would rebook Jinyoung somewhere else at no cost since the mistake was their fault.

 

Mark was back in good spirits as he stepped out onto the streets of Shinjuku. He'd made plans to explore the whole of Tokyo, but today he was going to stay in Shinjuku and the nearby Shibuya.

 

First on the agenda was a nature walk in Shinjuku Gyoen, the massive garden park a short walk away from his apartment. It was famous for its cherry blossoms, but since those had already fallen, Mark was happy enough to see the other trees and enjoy walking down the scenic paths. It was a beautiful late spring day and the views were gorgeous.

 

After getting his fill of Shinjuku Gyoen, he took a train to nearby Shibuya and witnessed the famous Scramble crossing as soon as he stepped out of the station. The next time the light changed, he joined the busy crowd in crossing the square and walking up and down the streets packed with stores and restaurants. He took his lunch at a small soba restaurant, spent a good hour browsing Tower Records, and wandered down the streets of Harajuku, admiring the outlandish clothing stores, even stopping at one to purchase a colorful hoodie to bring home with him.

 

In late afternoon, he swung by Yoyogi Park to see Meiji Shrine and take some photos. His feet were tired, but his spirits felt light. He was having such a blast, and the trip had barely even begun.

 

Just as he was about to leave, his phone rang. He took the call. “Hello?” he said in English.

 

“Hello. Eto...this is Onuki.”

 

“Oh, hey.” Mark had entirely forgotten about the Airbnb problem. “You got my message?”

 

“Y-Yes.” Onuki took a breath. “Can you explain?”

 

“Of course.” Mark recounted the surprise of Jinyoung showing up the night before and discovering they were double booked. When he finished, Onuki was dead silent on the other line.

 

“Did...that make sense?” Mark asked feebly.

 

“Eto...” Onuki cleared his throat. “S-Sorry, my English...I don't understand the problem.”

 

Mark bit his lip. Did he know enough to explain the issue in Japanese? He racked his brain. He definitely didn't know how to explain the concept of double booking in another language. He might be able to say, 'there's a strange person in my room,' but that didn't quite accurately describe the situation.

 

“Message problem on Airbnb,” Onuki said finally. “I will Google Translate.”

 

Mark did so, trying to express the issue without using any phrases that might be hard to translate: Both me and another person booked the room for the same dates. As this rental was meant for only one renter, we were wondering what the other person should do.  A few minutes later, he received a response from Onuki that had clearly been sent through Google Translate from Japanese: Because this room is often reserved for a couple, there is no problem to accommodate 2 people. I have hope that you and your partner spend a nice vacation together!

 

“W-What?” Mark sputtered. “How did he get that out of my explanation?”

 

He thought about sending another message, but wondered if that would only cause more confusion. He sighed. He was going to have to tell Jinyoung to file a complaint directly to Airbnb and have them facilitate getting his refund.

 

The whole thing him brought him down a little from his vacation high. He'd been planning on eating at another restaurant, but now he wasn't in the mood. He took the train back to Shinjuku and stopped at a FamilyMart by the apartment to pick up a pre-packaged container of katsudon to bring back with him for dinner. The convenience store staff warmed it up for him in the store's microwave and handed it back to him in a bag filled with chopsticks and napkins.

 

When he made it back to Room 340, he found Jinyoung seated on a cushion in front of the table, eating a convenience store bento box of curry. He lifted his eyes to meet Mark's, frowned, and stared down at the table with a tense expression. Mark's stomach sank. His unexpected roommate still seemed to be in a foul mood.

 

“Hi,” Mark said awkwardly. “I brought back dinner, too. Can I sit?”

 

“Nothing's stopping you,” Jinyoung said.

 

Thank you, Mr. Cheerful. Mark sat down across from him. He opened up his container of katsudon, broke apart his chopsticks, and began eating. It wasn't the restaurant meal he'd planned, but it was surprisingly good.

 

They ate in one of the most painful silences Mark had ever endured. He knew he needed to bring up the conversation with Onuki, but wasn't sure how to do it without Jinyoung biting his head off. Still, he knew it would be better to tell Jinyoung sooner rather than later so he could get a start on finding a new room. He tried to muster up courage, but every time he felt slightly ready to speak, his throat got dry and he couldn't do it.

 

“Did the owner ever call you back?” Jinyoung asked finally.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Mark said.

 

“And? What did he say?”

 

“Umm...he didn't really understand the problem in English. I had to message it to him for him to Google Translate, and he misunderstood and thought we were couple making sure it was OK for both of us to use the room.”

 

Jinyoung's brows furrowed. “Did you clear it up with him?”

 

Mark shook his head. “Look, I don't think this is going to be solved with Google Translate. You need to talk directly to Airbnb to get your refund.”

 

“My refund? Why don't you get a refund and find somewhere else?”

 

Mark bit back a groan. “Because I love this room.”

 

“It's just a room.”

 

“If you feel that way, you're the one who should find another one if this one does nothing special for you.”

 

Jinyoung set down his chopsticks and stared hard at Mark. If he was trying to be intimidating, it wasn't working. He just looked tired and miserable, just like he had yesterday. If he'd gotten any sleep, it didn't show in his eyes. Mark wanted to stand firm, but all he felt was pity.

 

“I could find a room for you?” Mark suggested. “Help cover the difference if you need to me to?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “It's Golden Week,” he said heavily.

 

“What?”

 

“You know, the week most people in Japan have off for vacation? Everywhere's booked in Shinjuku for the entire week. Everywhere. Neither of us would be able to find another place, even if we wanted to.”

 

“Oh...I didn't know that.” He frowned at Jinyoung. “You should have said so sooner.”

 

“Because now you know, you're going to say that we should both just share the room until Golden Week's over.”

 

Mark nodded. “Well...that would be logical.”

 

“I wanted to be alone.”

 

“Yeah, well so did I. But we can work with this. We'll be outside most of the time, anyways.”

 

“I wanted to be alone at night,” Jinyoung specified.

 

Mark blinked. What, he wanted to pick up girls?

 

Jinyoung must have guessed the automatic conclusion Mark would come to and turned red. “You know what? Forget it. We can share. Like you said yesterday, it's not that big of a deal. After one week, one of us can find a new place.”

 

“OK...” Mark hadn't expected him to agree so quickly. “I promise I won't bother you.”

 

Jinyoung nodded curtly. Apparently the conversation was over. They sank back into uncomfortable silence.

 

When Mark had finished off his katsudon and thrown the container in the trash, he grabbed his bag from where he'd set it by the door. “I'm going to Golden Gai,” he said, referring to the famous strip of bars in the Kabukicho area. “Want-”

 

“You do that,” Jinyoung said, cutting off what would have been an invitation to join him. “Goodnight.”

 

Mark shrugged. It would definitely be better to go without Jinyoung, anyways. He knew when he wasn't wanted.

 

0

 

Mark had just as busy of a schedule the next day, first touring Akihabara and its many anime and manga shops, then going to Ueno to visit the zoo and see the resident baby panda. He got too sweaty to even consider going to a restaurant, so he decided to go for takeout again. After all, he was pretty sure there was no way Jinyoung would be at the apartment for dinner again. He'd obviously stay away, knowing that Mark might show up.

 

But when he arrived at the apartment, Jinyoung was again seated at the table, this time with a bowl of ramen. He frowned when he saw Mark—apparently, he'd assumed that Mark would stay away, just like Mark had assumed about him.

 

“Hi,” Mark said feebly. Jinyoung nodded in his direction. Somehow, he managed to look even more terrible than the day before. Not that Mark was calling him unattractive—he was undeniably good looking. It was just that he was baggy eyed and sunken cheeked and looked like his soul was being out gradually every day.

 

Maybe he came here post-breakup, Mark thought. Maybe he's antisocial. There's definitely something going on that I don't know about. I should be gentler.

 

He sat down across from him and gave him a small smile before Jinyoung looked away. It probably counted for nothing. He just wanted to let Jinyoung know he didn't hate him. That whatever he was going through, Mark wasn't going to take it personally.

 

Again, they were mostly silent throughout the meal. Mark would have said something out of politeness, but he was beginning to think the kindest thing he could do for Jinyoung was not prod him with questions or conversation.

 

Jinyoung, to his surprise, was the one who spoke first. “That manhwa you're reading,” he said abruptly.

 

Mark's head shot up. “Yes...?”

 

“I've been interested in manhwa lately. Would you mind if I borrowed it to read tonight? If you're done with it?”

 

Mark smiled, glad to be useful. “Sure! It's a really good one.”

 

“Thanks. Did you bring more than one volume?”

 

“Yeah, I brought all nine. They're not heavy, so...” He paused. “Feel free to read the whole thing.”

 

“Thanks,” Jinyoung said again. “I probably will.”

 

That night when Mark went to sleep, Jinyoung stayed propped up on the futon, reading the manhwa by his phone's flashlight. Mark dozed off, but woke up about an hour later to hear Jinyoung shutting a volume and setting it aside. Jinyoung switched off his phone's light, then sank into the covers, presumably to go to sleep. Mark tried to fall back asleep as well, but noticed Jinyoung fidgeting and sighing beside him again, as if he couldn't get comfortable. About ten minutes later, Jinyoung sat up and roughly grabbed another manhwa from the pile beside him, and switched his phone back on to start reading again.

 

Jinyoung's body was so tense beside him that Mark found it hard to go back to sleep. A sort of agonizing frustration radiated off him. Mark stayed up as Jinyoung finished another volume, threw it down, and again tried to go to sleep. Just twenty minutes later, Jinyoung shot up again, grabbing another volume. Mark wondered for a moment if Jinyoung was too hooked on the series to go to sleep, but that was not what his body language seemed to be suggesting.

 

I wonder what's wrong, Mark thought drowsily. Sleep was finally dragging at him again, but he felt almost guilty succumbing to it when Jinyoung was so restless beside him.

 

0

 

The next day, after spending hours touring shrines and museums around Tokyo, Mark had a proper dinner at a restaurant. He was sure Jinyoung was back at the apartment, and now more than ever didn't want to bother him. Something was clearly wrong. He didn't know what, and wasn't sure he should know what. He felt a sort of oppressive guilt at intruding on what was obviously a painful time for Jinyoung. It wasn't his business to know. All the same, it was hard to watch and not try to help.

 

So he deliberately stayed out late so he wouldn't have to go back too soon. He loitered around in bars popular with foreigners in Roppongi, chatting with some students from England and a pretty Singaporean girl who clearly wanted him to ask her to come back to his apartment. But he couldn't stop thinking about Jinyoung.

 

He returned to the apartment around 10 in the evening. As he was about to punch in the code to open the door, he heard Jinyoung on the other side, talking in a loud, almost hysterical voice.

 

“You said going on vacation would help,” he said in an accusatory voice. He must have been on the phone. “That getting away and spending time in a stress-free environment would help. But it's not helping at all! I'm more stressed than ever and I still can't sleep!” He sounded now like he was crying. “Noona, I can't sleep, I haven't slept well in months, and I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy, like I'll become insane if I can't sleep another night. There was a mix up with the room and I have to share it with this other guy, and I'm stressing out, and even though I know he's trying to be nice, I feel so stressed about not sleeping that I'm acting like I'm unhinged around him and I can't take it, I can't take knowing that he thinks I'm this massive jerk, and I can't stop being a jerk because I can't ing sleep!”

 

He was full on sobbing now. Mark's heart was aching for him. He'd never experienced anything like insomnia before, but from the sounds of it, it had to be terrible. He at least knew how frustrating it was to be unable to sleep for a single night; to experience that night after night was probably more than enough to push Jinyoung to this kind of breaking point.

 

Mark knew he couldn't step inside the apartment while Jinyoung was having this kind of a private conversation. But Jinyoung's sobs had quieted a little, presumably as he listened to whatever his sister was saying to him, and Mark worried that if he moved away from the door, Jinyoung would be able to hear him.

 

So instead, he sank against the wall and waited. The rest of the conversation was carried out too low for him to hear. Eventually, all he heard was silence. He waited for twenty more minutes, then rose to his feet and went into the room.

 

All the lights were off. When he stepped into the bedroom, he saw a lump on the mattress, underneath the comforter. He knew that Jinyoung was mostly likely awake, but pretending not to be.

 

Mark took his pajamas, went to the bathroom for a quick shower, then slipped under the covers. Jinyoung remained motionless beside him, but once again Mark could feel the rigid tension radiating off his body.

 

I wish I could give my sleep to you, he thought with all his heart. This has nothing to do with me, but all the same, I wish there was something I could do for you.

 

0

 

The next evening, he came back to the apartment for dinner. As he expected, Jinyoung was there, opening up a box of convenience store bento. He raised his eyebrows when Mark entered, very evidently surprised he would come back for yet another awkward dinner.

 

It didn't feel as awkward to Mark, though, now that he knew Jinyoung didn't actually want to show the kind of attitude he did. His tension and frayed nerves weren't because he hated Mark. If anything, the fact of him worrying about Mark thinking there was hatred behind it only made him more stressed and anxious. And Mark didn't want him that way anymore.

 

So he smiled as he sat down across from Jinyoung, an easy smile that suggested there were absolutely no hard feelings. Jinyoung didn't smile back, but looked a little flustered as his eyes darted away.

 

Mark set down the plastic bags he was carrying and started pulling containers from them. “Do you like Chinese food?” he asked Jinyoung. “I bought a little too much when I was in Yokohama today. I'm up for sharing.”

 

He opened each container so Jinyoung could see the different foods inside. “You don't have to,” Jinyoung mumbled. “I have my own food.”

 

“I know. But there's no way I can eat all of this by myself. Please feel free to have some.”

 

Jinyoung nodded, but continued to eat his own karaage and rice.

 

“It's definitely a Japanese interpretation of Chinese food,” Mark said, splitting a pair of chopsticks. “Every country has their own take on it, and none of it really captures the original.”

 

“Are you Chinese?” Jinyoung asked. Mark was pretty sure it was the first personal question he'd asked. “Your Korean's good, but it's not your first language.”

 

“I'm from America.”

 

“Why do you know Korean?”

 

“I went to university in Seoul. I got a full-time job there, too; I'll be starting after this vacation's over. Which part of Korea are you from?”

 

“Busan.”

 

Mark nodded. The opposite end of the country; nowhere close to him.

 

Jinyoung extended his chopsticks, taking some shumai from one of the Chinese food containers. Mark smiled. Somehow, Jinyoung eating the food he'd brought felt a little bit like a peace offering.

 

After a moment, Mark asked, “Have you been to Yokohama yet?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “I've mostly been sticking to the immediate area. There's good Korean food in Shin Okubo.”

 

“You can get Korean food at home. You should branch out a little.” Mark paused, wondering if he'd sounded too judgmental. Maybe sticking with Korean food was good for Jinyoung's stress. “If you want to.”

 

Jinyoung fiddled with his napkin. For a moment, Mark wasn't sure he would actually say anything. Then, finally, he said, “I'm worried I'll make a mistake if I go to a real restaurant. Convenience stores are easy. I just hand them the food, they ask me if I want it heated up, I say yes, I go home. No room for making a fool of myself.”

 

“I get that,” Mark said. “I was the same when I moved to Korea. I was super cautious about everything. I didn't even speak if I wasn't sure I could say something correctly, and everyone assumed I had no personality because I was so quiet.”

 

Jinyoung looked at him, a bit surprised. “You don't seem like you'd be like that. You seem...personable.”

 

“I had to break down a lot of walls to get to this point,” Mark admitted. “I had to make a lot of mistakes, risk looking stupid, and make myself uncomfortable. But it was worth it. Because now I can also fully be myself. I get to live the way I want to.”

 

Jinyoung nodded slowly. “That's...that's brave.”

 

“I suppose. I still cringe at my mistakes sometimes. But no one can really go through life without making mistakes, so I'm just in the same boat with everyone else, in a sense.”

 

They fell into silence again, but for the first time, it wasn't necessarily an awkward one. Mark could tell Jinyoung wasn't deliberately avoiding saying anything. He was thinking. So Mark let him.

 

When they finished eating, they usually split up again. Mark would head out for more sightseeing, and Jinyoung would do whatever it was he did. But tonight, Mark wanted it to be different. Taking a breath, he turned to Jinyoung. “I'm going to take a little nap,” he said. “And when I wake up, I'm going to take a long walk down the main street. Want to come with me?”

 

Jinyoung looked at him guardedly.

 

Mark took another breath. “If you can't sleep, I'll stay up with you tonight.”

 

Jinyoung's eyes widened. For once, he looked something more than he looked exhausted. Mark had no idea what he would say. He simply waited.

 

“I'm not allowed to drink,” Jinyoung said after a minute. Mark guessed it was because he was on medication.

 

“That's fine. Going to Golden Gai once was enough. This time, I was planning on just looking around. Maybe getting some ice cream.”

 

Jinyoung chewed on his lip a little more. When he finally spoke, it was a soft, barely audible “OK.”

 

Mark grinned. “Great. I'm looking forward to it. It'll be fun, I promise.”

 

0

 

The first few minutes of their walk, Jinyoung was stiff and closed off, arms folded across his chest and eyes fixed on his feet. Agreeing to go on the walk was a big step, but of course it wouldn't automatically make him sociable. Mark hadn't expected it to.

 

All the same, he was sure there were hundreds of little things they could talk about on the other side of Jinyoung's wall. But it was never going to happen for as long as the one major roadblock to openness stood in the way. Sometimes the best thing to do was just go ahead and address the elephant in the room rather than let it loom large over everything.

 

“So,” Mark said gently. “You've been suffering from insomnia?”

 

Jinyoung jolted, his eyes wide. He tightened his arms around himself, taking a defensive stance, but then suddenly his shoulders relaxed. He dropped his arms. “Yes,” he said. “I am.”

 

“For awhile?”

 

“It's been a recent problem. I suffered from it awhile ago, and it's back.” He rubbed his eye. “I haven't slept well in over a month.”

 

“I'm so sorry that's happening to you.”

 

“Yeah. It's been a real nightmare. A waking one, naturally.” They were silent for a moment. “You're the first person who hasn't immediately bombarded me with advice or comments on why I'm probably not sleeping properly.”

 

Mark raised an eyebrow. “I'm not a doctor. And I don't know what it's like.”

 

“That's never stopped anyone else. Everyone magically turns into a doctor when it's someone else's problem they're trying to solve.”

 

“Seriously, I don't know anything about insomnia. I don't want to give you bad advice.”

 

“Thanks for that. People trying to be helpful without actually knowing anything hasn't helped me at all.” He snorted. “My own sister told me she thought a vacation would solve everything. I'd get jet lagged and sleep for hours.”

 

“And you came to Japan? How were you supposed to get jet lagged from a two hour flight?”

 

“Well, I honestly wasn't trying very hard. I knew it wasn't going to work. Maybe in the short-term, but not the long-term.” He shrugged. “Anyways, I couldn't really afford to go anywhere further. I just bought a new apartment since I have to relocate for my new job.”

 

“I'm surprised you bothered to come at all.”

 

“If I didn't, I'd just hear over and over again 'I told you, you should go on vacation!' My sister means well, I know that, but it's a real pain to hear people harp on you for not taking their crap advice. It's better sometimes to get it over with. Or lie. But I couldn't exactly lie about vacation. So here I am.” He finally looked directly at Mark. “I actually do like it here. I like the room and the view. I like...well, I don't despise you, like I've been acting like I have. The situation involved stress I wasn't prepared to deal with, but it wasn't because of you, specifically.”

 

“I know,” Mark said. “I can't really judge. I probably would have smacked down if you'd tried to force me to leave the room.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Oh yeah. I get even more surly than I've ever seen you be when I'm in a temper. If you'd been anyone else, I probably would have snapped and started throwing things.”

 

“What do you mean 'if I'd been anyone else'? You didn't even really know me.” Jinyoung lowered his voice. “You still kind of don't.”

 

Mark thought. “I don't really know. I just know that I wouldn't be able to throw something at you, even if I wanted to.”

 

“That's weird.” But suddenly, Jinyoung was smiling; a faint smile, but a smile all the same. “But don't change your mind. I don't particularly want things thrown at me.”

 

“Then I'll continue to refrain.”

 

When they passed a Baskin Robbins Mark stopped in his tracks. “OK, here's the ice cream I wanted. Can we go in?”

 

They went down the stairs and into the store, past the Hello Kitty statue by the entrance. Shoppers mingled inside, eating ice cream from tiny cups. This definitely wasn't the American version Mark was used to where everyone would be eating triple the amount of ice cream, but it would do. Mark ordered Caramel Ribbon, and Jinyoung ordered an original ice cream inspired by Minions. It came in a special edition plastic cup he could take home with him.

 

“Nice souvenir,” Mark laughed.

 

“I'll show it to my sister as proof I enjoyed myself.”

 

Mark smiled. He really hoped Jinyoung was enjoying himself, even if just a little. They went back outside, eating their ice creams as they walked.

 

“You mentioned you'll be starting a job?” Jinyoung said as they walked. Mark nodded. “What did you study in university?”

 

“Sales and marketing. You?”

 

“Publishing.”

 

“No kidding? My new job is within the publishing industry.”

 

“I'm also going to be starting work at a publishing company.” Jinyoung's eyes reverted back to their heavy look. “I think that's where a lot of my stress is coming from.”

 

“Are you questioning your career decision?”

 

“No. It's just...” He looked at Mark uncertainly.

 

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

 

“There's no reason I shouldn't be able to tell you. It's not like you're going to blab it to anyone I know.” He swallowed. “I...I had a kind of part time job when I was younger. It was for a charity. We had to stand out on the streets and try to solicit donations from pedestrians.”

 

“Honestly? That sounds like the iest job I could imagine, and I'm in marketing.”

 

“I know!” Jinyoung said in the most emphatic voice he'd heard from him. “I hated it, like violently hated it. Pedestrians are awful! I got cussed at, ually harassed, and glared at a thousand different ways, and if I didn't meet my quota, my supervisor would basically call me useless in front of everyone. That's when the insomnia started, the first time. I was so afraid of having to go to that job in the morning that I'd feel physically sick at night. I couldn't sleep because I was just filled with...dread, I guess.”

 

“Do you think you're afraid of it happening again at your new job?”

 

“I don't know. I don't see why it would. I'm going to be an editorial assistant, it's not like I have to deal with pedestrians.”

 

“Maybe. But maybe it's bringing the bad memories back.”

 

Jinyoung nodded. “You're right. It is. I can't stop thinking about being useless all over again.”

 

“You're not useless,” Mark said with a force even he hadn't expected from himself. “No one in the world is useless. If you exist, you already have a purpose.”

 

“Which is...?”

 

“Being the indispensable you that you are.” Mark turned a little red. “Sorry...um...that was from a manga.”

 

“No...I like that. I think...it was good to hear that.” He looked at Mark curiously. “And you really believe that, right?”

 

“Yes. Of course I do.”

 

“You have a good heart,” Jinyoung said suddenly. “I want to steal it.”

 

“E-Excuse me?”

 

Jinyoung flushed. “I don't mean that I want to steal your heart romantically or anything. That was just a stupid way of saying that I wish I could be more like you.”

 

“You don't have to be like me. You're fine the way you are.”

 

“You're crazy. I'm a mess.” He paused. “And underneath all that mess...” He trailed off. “Never mind. I don't even know yet.”

 

Mark nodded, letting it go for now.

 

They walked for another hour and a half, gazing up at the neon signs and talking about whatever came to mind. The manhwa series Jinyoung had borrowed. Mark's home back in America. Their impressions of Japan. The things they'd bought so far. On the other side of his shrinking wall, Jinyoung was a thoughtful person, and easy to talk to. He didn't demand constant entertainment from Mark, the way other people did. They could communicate at their own leisurely pace, and it was fine with both of them.

 

And best of all, Jinyoung's mind was taken off sleep and the lack of it. With every moment, he relaxed a little more. The night for once wasn't his enemy, a battle to be fought. Insomnia wasn't its fault. It was no one's fault. It didn't have to be a fault at all.

 

They made it back to the apartment at a late hour, after most of the trains had stopped for the night. Mark was feeling sleepy, but cheerful. It felt like a weight had been taken not just off Jinyoung's chest, but his as well. It felt good not to have to be so careful and distant with each other.

 

“Let's do this every night,” he said.

 

“You don't have to,” Jinyoung said automatically.

 

“I want to. There's a lot of fun things to do at night. Arcades. Late night restaurants. It's a whole new Tokyo.” Mark stretched out on the futon. “I like hanging out with you.”

 

Jinyoung stared at him for what felt like a long time before he said, “Thank you” in a soft voice. “I like hanging out with you, too.”

 

“So...tomorrow night, then?”

 

“Yes. Tomorrow night.”

 

0

 

They spent the next few nights together, exploring the city Tokyo became in the evening. They went to Taito Station arcade and played claw games. They rented a karaoke booth. They visited meal ticket restaurants and tried all the foods they'd always wanted to.

 

They talked. Not always about serious things, though sometimes Jinyoung actually wanted to talk about the things most difficult and personal to him—his struggles with anxiety, his ongoing insomnia. A lot of times, they wouldn't talk about anything more serious than TV shows or the coolest things they'd seen when sightseeing. But Mark loved every word of it. He would have never before considered himself a big talker, but very suddenly, he was head over heels in love with talking.

 

Eventually, they reached the end of the Golden Week holiday. “I'm sure rentals are available now,” Mark hedged to Jinyoung when they were on their way home the last night of Golden Week.

 

Jinyoung nodded. “But it would be a hassle, right? And I think we're doing fine in the apartment we're in right now.” He smiled at Mark. “Why don't we stay? Both of us? Would that be OK?”

 

Mark smiled back. “That would be great. Perfect.”

 

0

 

All too soon, it was their second to last night in Shinjuku. Mark was usually good at letting go. He could enjoy his vacations while they lasted, say an amicable goodbye to the country he'd fallen in love with, and go home without regrets.

 

But this time, it felt different. It wouldn't be just Japan he'd say goodbye to, but Jinyoung. And Mark felt something deeper than he felt for Japan for Jinyoung, the kind of emotional tie he couldn't unknot so easily. Would Jinyoung be fine, when he went home? Would his new job go well? Would he be happy? Mark didn't want to not know or not to be a part of it. They were only vacation companions, Mark knew, but he was increasingly feeling like he couldn't be satisfied with just that.

 

That night, Jinyoung turned to him on the futon after they'd crashed following their late night adventures. “What were you planning to do tomorrow?” he asked.

 

“Hmm? I was going to go to Kamakura and tour the shrines there.”

 

“Would you mind...would you mind if I tagged along?” Jinyoung took a breath. “We've never spent a day together, rather than a night.”

 

“And you want to?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then so do I.”

 

“Then let's do it. Let's go to Kamakura.”

 

It was pleasant weather for their outing the next day. Best of all, it wasn't crowded, since Golden Week had freshly ended. There were other travelers, but it never felt like their space and conversations were being encroached on.

 

At Kenchoji Temple, they reached a path at the end of the temple garden leading steadily upwards, scaling a tree-lined hill.

 

“Looks like a lot of climbing may be involved,” Mark said. “Want to?”

 

Jinyoung squared his shoulders. “Yes,” he said. “I didn't come here to be lazy, right?”

 

“All right. Let's climb.”

 

It was definitely steep, but Mark had gotten in good shape from all the walking he'd been doing. It didn't take long for him to work up a sweat, but it didn't feel too uncomfortable. He enjoyed looking around at the beautiful landscape as he climbed. When he glanced over at Jinyoung, he seemed to be taking it all in, too.

 

“Those statues,” Jinyoung said, pointing to several peeking through the plant life on the hill. They were of what looked like half men, half birds. All had wings sprouting from their backs, and while some had beaks, others had long, Pinocchio style noses. The one closest to Mark was holding a fan and a scroll in its hand.

 

“They look familiar,” Mark said.

 

“They're tengu. They appear a lot in manga and anime.”

 

“Right. They make for really cool statues, huh?”

 

At the top of the stairs, Jinyoung turned around and looked back at the statues. From this vantage point, they saw the tengu from their winged backs, looking out into the sea of trees before them.

 

“It must be such a hopeful thing,” Jinyoung said quietly. “Gazing out into the horizon when you have the wings to reach it.”

 

“Not if you're a statue stuck in one place. I think it's better to look out at it without wings, but knowing you have the power and freedom to walk there. No matter how long it takes.”

 

Jinyoung looked back at Mark. “Last week. You said I was fine the way I was.”

 

Mark nodded. He couldn't remember specifically saying it, but he knew it was something he would say. Because it was true.

 

“I said you were crazy. That I was a mess. That underneath the mess...” He swallowed. “I didn't say it out loud, but in my mind, I thought, underneath the mess, I am a fundamentally broken person.”

 

Mark felt a lump in his throat, hearing that.

 

“It never even occurred to me that I could be wrong. I thought it was a fact. An unshakable fact.” Jinyoung lifted his chin. “But I thought about the other thing you said. About how no one's useless. That we don't necessarily need to have a deeper purpose than being ourselves.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“And I kept thinking, but I'm broken. There's a mistake in the way I am that keeps me from properly being myself. I can't fulfill even that most basic purpose.”

 

“Jinyoung...”

 

“But you. You don't see anything broken, do you?”

 

Mark shook his head. “I see a kind, amazing person going through something difficult.”

 

“Exactly. So I tried to see me the way you see me. And I didn't see myself broken either. What was broken was the road I was trying to walk on. Well...it wasn't broken exactly...there was just this wall in the way. This huge, impossible looking wall. So high it looked like I would need wings to get over it.”

 

Mark stayed silent. Jinyoung had received enough advice he'd never asked for. What he probably needed was someone just to listen. So Mark would be that.

 

“But I'm never going to have wings,” Jinyoung said. “Just my own two feet. I can't fly over it. So...I'm going to have to knock it down.” He suddenly smiled, a strong, determined smile. “We're almost at the end of our time, right? I just wanted you to know. That the wall looks smaller every day. And the difference that made that possible was knowing you. So what I'm trying to say is...thank you. Thank you for booking Room 340 in Shinjuku, Tokyo for the exact same time as I did. Thank you for saying I was fine. Because...it feels true now. Maybe the new job won't go well. But I...I'm going to be fine.”

 

Mark smiled, exhaling in relief. “Yes,” he said. “You absolutely are, Park Jinyoung.”

 

0

 

They took the last train back to Shinjuku, exhausted from the task of covering all the ground Kamakura had to offer. After Jinyoung's declaration, the rest of the day had felt light and free, like there was nothing more holding them back. But as the train hurtled down the tracks, an oppressive feeling swept over Mark. There was still one thing, a looming wall of its own. The coming goodbye.

 

Because that was a real, unavoidable thing. They could be long distance friends, but it would be a hard thing to sustain when they were both swept up into starting their careers. And Mark couldn't be satisfied with the idea of 'friends.' Not when he wanted to take Jinyoung's hand and kiss it and never let it go.

 

There were some walls in life you couldn't knock down. But the real, literal distance between Seoul and Busan wasn't one of them.

 

They arrived back at the apartment. Mark glanced around it, his heart breaking. He'd thought he'd loved it at first sight, but he'd been mistaken. He'd only really, truly come to love it when he'd come to love Jinyoung. It wouldn't have been painfully difficult to leave it without him. But with him, it tore straight into his heart.

 

“Since it's the last night, how about I stay up with you?” Mark said, turning to look at Jinyoung. “My flight leaves at 6 a.m., so I'd have to get up really early anyways.”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “Mark, you dozed off two times on the train ride back. Don't pretend you're not tired. Insomniacs don't like fakers.”

 

“Oh...”

 

“Some things are too precious to waste. Sleeping is one of them.”

 

“So is time.”

 

“You already gave me time I won't ever forget. You don't need to give and give and give until you're the one not sleeping.”

 

“OK,” Mark said. He understood where Jinyoung was coming from. Besides, they'd see each other in the morning. As hard as that goodbye would be.

 

They settled into bed together. Usually they slept back to back, but this time, they looked at each other eye to eye. Mark felt an overpowering physical ache course through him. Under different circumstances, he'd be looking for an in to pin Jinyoung down and kiss him until their vision went white. But in this situation, it wouldn't be fair. Jinyoung had enough on his plate; he didn't need to add a vacation fling to it. And Mark didn't want to break his own heart with a fling when that would never be enough to satisfy him.

 

But they looked at each other, drinking in each other with their eyes. It felt intimate in a way that even couldn't be in a moment like this. Jinyoung reached out, taking his hand and linking their fingers together. Neither of them said anything, but Mark knew they both knew. The timing had been right for Jinyoung to recognize himself. It just hadn't been the perfectly right time for the two of them to fall in love, even if it had happened nonetheless.

 

Mark didn't want to close his eyes, but somehow it must have happened since he woke up to the sound of his alarm going off, letting him know it was time to get ready to go to Haneda Airport. His hand was still entwined with Jinyoung's, and, to his amazement, Jinyoung was asleep. It looked like a deep, peaceful given the fact that Jinyoung hadn't even stirred in the slightest at the sound of Mark's alarm.

 

Of all the times for him to fall asleep, Mark thought, torn between happiness and regret. He wouldn't be able to say goodbye this way. But he was absolutely not going to wake Jinyoung up. He deserved this sleep. He needed it, more than he needed to be awake to hear Mark fumble for words he didn't actually have to say a goodbye he really didn't want to say.

 

It was hard, but Mark let go of Jinyoung's hand. He packed up the suitcase, and made sure to throw his used towels in the basket that Onuki had indicated in his note. His goodbye came in the form of a few words scribbled on a convenience store napkin left on the table: I hope you had sweet dreams, Park Jinyoung. You're going to be fine. Love, Mark.

 

“Goodbye,” Mark said in a soft voice as he opened the door.

 

It shut on his last glimpse of the room he loved, with the person he loved sleeping soundly within it.

 

0

 

Mark was pretty sure he was running late. Like an anime character, he grabbed a piece of half toasted bread and shoved it in his mouth before running out the door.

 

He'd had a dream that he hadn't wanted to wake up from. In it, he and Jinyoung were walking down the night streets of Seoul like they had done in Tokyo. “Let's do this every night,” he'd said.

 

“Every night, forever,” Jinyoung had replied.

 

It had been so hard to open his eyes and let that dream disappear. But it was the first day of his new job, and he couldn't afford to be too tardy. He'd have to pray that he would meet Jinyoung in his dreams again. Every night, like they'd promised.

 

He followed his phone's GPS prompts all the way to the publishing office where he'd now be working. Maybe he'd meet Jinyoung again that way, somehow. Hadn't Jinyoung mentioned he was going to work as an editorial assistant in the publishing industry? Most likely not the manhwa industry, but maybe there'd be some unexpected overlap. An industry-wide conference. A branch transfer.

 

He walked into the office and approached the front desk, shaking these hopeful thoughts off. “Hello,” he said to the receptionist. “I'm Mark Tuan. I'm starting in the Sales Department today?”

 

“Yes, welcome aboard!” the receptionist said with a big smile. “The two new hires from Editorial and Design have already arrived and are waiting in the room through these doors.” She pointed to her left. “Please join them, and your supervisors will arrive to take you on a tour through the building shortly.”

 

“Thank you,” Mark said. He turned towards the room. There was a bit of glass paneling that offered him a peek inside. At first, he saw the back of a long haired woman sitting in one of the chairs, but then he saw a man lean slightly towards her, as if to hear her better.

 

Mark's breath caught. He knew that back. In his mind, he could still see it looking over the tengu statues at Kenchoji Temple, admiring their wings while slowly recognizing how far he could go even without wings of his own.

 

His heart pounded. Words he hadn't paid enough attention to before—I just bought a new apartment since I have to relocate for my new job—echoed through his mind. Why had he never asked? Why had they never talked enough about their jobs to figure out before now that their acquaintance wasn't heading towards an end, but another new beginning?

 

But wasn't it better, in a way, to have it happen in the form of this small miracle? It was a huge world. To even reach a horizon just ahead of you in the distance could sometimes take miles. But maybe the world was small enough for two people who needed each other to end up in the exact same place twice when it mattered most.

 

Even before Mark opened the door, he knew he was in love more than ever. He was sure of it. Everything was going to be fine.