Soojin wakes up in a quiet dorm.

Kind of weird since she’s living in the same place as Miyeon and Shuhua. The two most annoying (cute) and loud members of (G)-IDLE. Those two combined are the definition of chaotic and noisy.

She blinks her eyes in confusion and sits herself up, pushing her white comforters off of her. She stays quiet for a moment, trying to see if she can hear anything from the two girls.

Nothing.

She scratches her head and crawls towards the edge of the bed, a somehow weird uneasy feeling settling on the pit of her stomach.

She sleepily walks out of her room to see that the TV was on, Haku and Mata were sleeping behind the couch, and something was moving on the couch.

Since she can’t see who it was, Soojin enters the living room and circles the couch to see Miyeon and Shuhua cuddling, Shuhua pushing her cheeks on Miyeon’s, the latter giggling like a schoolgirl hugging her crush. The sight makes Soojin’s eyes twitch, the weird feeling in her stomach turning worse.

“I’m probably hungry.”  Soojin tells herself.

Shuhua feels the eyes settled on them so she opens hers, to see Soojin standing before them with a confused look as if it’s not something she sees every day.

“Oh, Soojin unnie! You’re awake.” A small hidden smile creeps on Soojin’s face when she hears that familiar high-pitched tone that Shuhua uses when she’s excited to see her and she secretly braces herself for Shuhua’s clingy hug, only to feel wind past through her side as Shuhua runs towards the kitchen.

“What are we having for breakfast? Miyeon unnie and I were up early and I told her we should order take out but Miyeon unnie wanted to taste homemade food.” Soojin watches as Shuhua throws the eldest a loving smile, not even batting an eye towards her.

“Is she…Is she sick?” Soojin wonders.

“I want Kimchi Fried Rice, can we do that?” Shuhua turns to her with a normal expectant smile, disappointing the older girl.

“Wait, why am I disappointed? Isn’t this what I wanted from the start?” Soojin fighting with herself internally. She follows Shuhua inside the kitchen while Miyeon stays watching on the couch, and then Soojin corners Shuhua in a corner, earning her a confused look from the maknae. “Unnie, what are you doing?

Soojin can’t help herself but raise her hand and put the back of her palm on Shuhua’s forehead, feeling nothing but warmth. “You’re not sick.” She says, surprised.

Shuhua snorts. “Why would I be sick? Miyeon unnie takes care of me good!” Shuhua leaves the corner and opens the fridge, pulling out the kimchi. “Let’s go and cook this food unnie, and we should make more. I think the others will be visiting since it’s a day off.”

And the other three did visit them, making the dorm more chaotic since Miyeon, Shuhua, Yuqi, and Minnie combined is just…pandemonium.

Soojin watches quietly from her open room to the living room where the four mentioned girls play hide and clap, Shuhua now clinging on a very giggly Minnie who’s trying to find a decent place to hide while Yuqi counts down beside Soyeon on the couch, the latter writing something on her notebook, probably lyrics. Miyeon had already wedged herself behind the TV, a place Soojin doesn’t know existed, looking at the two girls with an amused smile. When Yuqi nears the end of counting, Miyeon calls the two over and scoots, making space for Minnie and Shuhua. Shuhua quickly runs and places herself beside Miyeon, making Minnie stay on her other side. The three huddle together as Yuqi stands up from the couch, Soyeon following her steps with keen eyes since the girl can be as clumsy as Shuhua sometimes. The leader puts down her notebook as Yuqi uses her foot to navigate her way through the room, throwing a tantrum when the three girls don’t clap when she asks them to. Shuhua turns to her Soyeon unnie and gives her puppy eyes, and the leader immediately gives in. She walks towards the kitchen and claps her hand, alerting Yuqi and also making the three girls giggle as Yuqi saunters away from the living room.

Noticing that someone is missing, Soyeon turns her head to see Soojin just staring at them from her room, an unreadable look on her face. Soyeon enters the room and gets more confused when Soojin seems to not notice her, her eyes set on something in the living room. Soyeon follows her sight only to realize that the dancer was staring at their maknae.

“Why are you here all alone?” Soyeon asks when she sits beside Soojin on her bed. Soojin turns her head and faces her same-aged friend.

“I…don’t know.” Soojin says truthfully.

“Are you…sulking?” Soyeon asks the girl with a tint of teasing in her tone but Soojin was too busy thinking why she was feeling this way to even notice it.

“No. I just…I don’t know why I feel like this!” Soojin can’t help but narrow her eyes as she tries to get to the bottom of her unresolved…sulking? Anger? She doesn’t get herself. She doesn’t know why she feels like this.

“Soyeon, tell me.” Soojin throws a glance toward Shuhua and Miyeon who’re still giggling with Minnie. “Why is Miyeon so close with Shuhua? Why isn’t Shuhua pushing her away? Why is she avoiding me?”

“What do you mean with why is Miyeon close with Shuhua? Soo, she’s always been close with Miyeon. Why would she push her away? They’re practically inseparable. Well about you, well she’s kind of awkward with you.”

Soojin’s eyebrows meet each other. “With me?? Why?? Why is she awkward with me?”

Soyeon shrugs her shoulder. “I…don’t know. She just…does.” Soyeon turns to look at Shuhua like Soojin. “She just…suddenly did.”

“You know, we found it weird.” Soyeon confesses to the girl. “She was so close to you before. She always told us that you’re her favorite person but then, she just suddenly stopped talking to you and clinging to you.”

“And we decided to confront her about it but Yuqi said that we should let you do it since it’s you that was involved, but you never did. You never asked her about it, and never cared about it. It was like, not talking to you and ignoring you was the new normal that Shuhua reinforced in her life and you never showed that you were bothered about it…so we didn’t interfere.”

“I…didn’t care?”

Soyeon shakes her head. “No. You only initiated talks and skinship when we’re on cameras but other than that, you and Shuhua, you pretty much act like the other doesn’t exist anymore.”

 “B-But she talked to me earlier?”

“Was it about food?”

“Oh yeah, she does talk to you for some time. But just about food.” Soyeon’s face copies Soojin’s as Soojin’s face falls into despair and confusion.

Soojin stays quiet for a while before nodding her head. “Okay…thanks for telling me, Soyeon.”

Soyeon leans closer towards her same-aged friend with a concerned look. “Are you okay? You don’t care about this. Why are you suddenly putting attention on this?”

Soojin falters, blinking her eyes rapidly. “I don’t know.”

“I’m going out.” Soojin grabs her towel and leaves Soyeon in her room, heading towards the bathroom, bumping Yuqi on the way. Yuqi, not knowing that it was Soojin, wraps her arms around the dancer and pulls her down to the floor, shouting that she found one and that she’s not a sore loser in this game. Now at times like these, Soojin was so used to having Shuhua pushing away people who initiate skinship with her, more so of her members. Since the maknae can’t do it when they’re talking about the fans, she just resorts on putting herself behind Soojin or the closest place beside her and smiles at the interaction (lie, she stares at them with her innocent yet creepy eyes until the fans move away, Soojin would know, Shuhua did it last week in their fansign) but when it comes to her members, she uses her chance to show them her ‘wrath’ when it’s them touching Soojin (just yesterday, she almost blasted off Miyeon from the couch when the oldest suddenly jumped Soojin who was minding her business with her phone).

But now, it’s like that Shuhua, that Shuhua from last week, from yesterday, never existed.

Because as she looks up despite Yuqi clinging on her like she’s her lifeline and Soyeon pulling the Chinese girl off of her, Shuhua was only looking at her with nothing but amusement.

As if she’s enjoying seeing Yuqi hugging her like a koala.

And that irks something inside her.

“It’s not right. Nothing that’s happening today is right.” Soojin finally admits to herself.

“She’s…she’s not my Shuhua.”

When she feels Yuqi’s arm being lifted from her waist, Soojin quickly stands up and walks towards the bathroom, closing the door as she hears Yuqi complain to their leader. For a while, Soojin stays with her back on the bathroom door, staring at the mirror in front of her, seeing her flushed face adorning a troubled look. She goes into the shower quickly and takes her bath, running out of the restroom and to her room after. She picks some casual clothes and puts them on, combing her hair when someone knocks on her locked door. She walks towards the door, brush still in her hand when she opens the door, and sees Miyeon standing before her.

“Oh,” Miyeon says after she takes in Soojin’s outfit. “are you going out?”

“Yeah. I’m meeting someone.” Soojin informs Miyeon, returning in front of her vanity.

“Let me guess, it’s Hui?” Soojin turns when her ex’s name came out of Miyeon’s mouth.

“H-How’d you know?”

“Well, he’s the only one you’ve been meeting these past few days.”

Soojin, losing her grip on the situation again, says something stupid.  “Tell Shuhua there’s no need to be jealous. We’re only going out for lunch.”

It’s when Miyeon replies to her when she realizes that she slipped up. “Why would Shuhua be jealous?”

Soojin turns and faces Miyeon’s confused face, looking like a baby. “Cause she doesn’t like it when I meet up with Hui?”

Miyeon snorts, entering and closing the door. She puts herself on Soojin’s bed, grabbing the book on Soojin’s bedside table. “Shuhua doesn’t care that you go out, whether if it’s with Hui or not.”

Soojin asks the same question she asked Soyeon. “Why?”

Miyeon shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

Soojin turns quiet. “Believe me, Soo, the girls and I have been trying to know why Shuhua just started acting like this, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. She just shrugs and acts like it’s nothing and then opens another topic.”

Miyeon looks at Soojin through the mirror. “She doesn’t care about you anymore, Soojin.”

That can’t be.

Shuhua?

Are they even talking about the same Shuhua?

The Shuhua who gives her her blanket every time they have a schedule, claiming that Soojin’s was too thin and that she’d feel warmer with hers?

The Shuhua who keeps standing up for her after that one VLive where Soojin saw the hate comments on the comments section and went home all sulky and hurt?

No. That can’t be.

Maybe that girl outside is not her Shuhua.

Or maybe, she’s not their Soojin.

“Oh. Okay.”

Soojin can’t explain what’s happening, but there’s a lot. The need to just…get out of the dorm is overwhelming, there’s undeniable pain in her heart and she can’t bear to look at anyone.

She stands up from her chair but stumbles back down, worrying the oldest.

“Soojin, are you okay?”

“I…need to go. I just…need to. Hui’s already waiting for me.” Soojin shakes away the blurriness and pushes away Miyeon’s helping hands, grabbing her phone and bag on her bed and dashing out of her room as if she’s on fire. She bumps Minnie on her way to escape, the older one holding on her waist to stop her from meeting the floor again like what happened with Yuqi.

“You seem to be in a hurry Soojin, where are you going?”

Soojin backs away from Minnie and her eyes naturally fly towards the youngest who’s still dealing with Yuqi, hurt plastering on her face (that the Thai notices) when she realizes that Miyeon was right.

Shuhua doesn’t care.

She’s not the Shuhua she knows.

She’s not the Shuhua she secretly likes back.

She’s far from the Shuhua she became used to.

Soojin turns away from Minnie when she feels the tears prick her eyes. “Just outside.”

And with that, Soojin rushes out of the dorm, leaving the five girls inside, four confused and one just…not caring.

She steps inside the café, waiting for the Pentagon member to arrive. She sips her coffee and just stares at the table, wondering why this was happening.

Is she dreaming? This doesn’t feel like a dream.

This feels like it’s just another day in her life.

But was flipped the time she opened her eyes.

She can’t help but cover her eyes with her hands as she wracks her brain for an answer to why it suddenly came to this.

Yesterday was just like a normal day. Shuhua was clinging to her, and she was just minding herself. She didn’t push her away. All day (except when they had to go to practice), Shuhua and Soojin stayed glued on the couch while Miyeon visited the other girls’ dorm, and there was nothing wrong.

There was nothing wrong.

A tear slips from Soojin’s eyes, making her groan silently.

Why are they acting like this? Why is it like this? Why is SHE like this? What’s happening?

Soojin’s head is practically filled with questions that she fears they might slip out of her ears.

“Jinnie? Are you okay?” Why are they all asking her that? Is it that obvious that she’s pretty much disturbed about what’s happening?

Soojin takes off her hand from her eyes an