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Kyungsoo could hear them kissing.

His eyes are staring at the firecamp in front of him but it's so easy to catch the sound with them only a few meters away, he looks at the couple and Baekhyun has his short skinny legs on top of Jongin's thighs as the tall male draws circles on the soft fabric of Baekhyun's sweat pants with his long fingers, Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip trying to keep his eyes away, anywhere but them and he would be fine, he is only half sure at this point that he can make it out alive of the first night in this trip to - apparently - hell. But a thought keeps making its way into his head, that could be me, no, that SHOULD be ME.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he throws his head back in dispair, he liked him first, damn it, he even saw him first. Kyungsoo dragged into the depts of his thoughts as he recalls the very first time he literally dumpted into Kim Jongin, only three years ago.

-

When his books were pilled up so high he couldn't see anything but the title of the history book he was about to read from start to end - again -, exams were only two days away and even after reading all of those books time after time for the past week, he wasn't ready. he guessed he was the kind of student nobody wants to talk to unless they have a very important question about homework and that usually included the words do it for me, please, and Kyungsoo didn't have a problem with that as long as they knew he wasn't going to do it for free. He was also - of course - very annoying when it came to speaking in class or presenting a project, but he was so serious about his future that he couldn't comprehend how some people wasn't. Even as he was making his way to his favorite spot on the library he was mouthing yesterday's answers to his selfmade test, unaware of the another someone too deep into his reading to notice the walking pile of books heading its way, they collided in a mess of books and paper flying all over the place and even when everyone was very upset at the sudden loud noises they rushed over when they noticed the accident. This wasn't the first time Kyungsoo had a massive accident in the library through he had been told by Mrs. Wu that he souldn't carry more than 4 books - at least - at the time, he had completely ignored once again her suggestion, he felt a little sore a the heaviest book on top of his stomach, light a little to bright on the high cealing and then a shadow covered him. Jongin had smiled at him so easily, Kyungsoo was in a daze, he wasn't used to talk to beautiful people, he could even admit that he hated it because he was too selfcounsious. But Jongin was so gentle when speaking that it was easy for Kyungsoo to forgive him when the other spoke.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there" He tried to help Kyungsoo up but Mrs. Wu instructed him not to stand up and wait a little more before doing so.

And even if everyone else was already back to their seats, Jongin stayed there - with Mrs. Wu - talking to Kyungsoo about everything but the fact that they almost kill each other.

Kyungsoo felt the butterflies he had read about so much.

-

"We should go to sleep" He hears Sehun's voice and opens his eyes kind of teary but not enough for someone else to notice.

"We should" Kyungsoo says standing up and pointing at the fire "I don't know how to turn that off".

"We know you don't know, luckily I know" Chanyeol steps up laughing he likes to remember Kyungsoo how much more athlethic and manly he is, Kyungsoo rolls his eyes he's so used to this that he doesn't feel bother by it anymore. He laughs it off and pats Chanyeol's shoulder - a little to high for him -.

"Thank god we invited you" Kyungsoo says and Chanyeol smiles back at him, a friendly smile that has Kyungsoo geniuenly laughing this time.

Everyone is watching them, when Kyungsoo finally notices that nobody was leaving the terrace. He shakes his head, because he knows what they are thinking and he's okay with it. He prefers everyone to think that he likes Chanyeol instead of them gossiping about wether he likes Baekhyun's boyfriend or not. He tries hard, not to think about Jongin's name because even that could make him smile. His stomach twists when he sees Baekhyun dragging Jongin by the hand inside the house.

This is their last vacation together as a group of friends that will eternaly love each other, in a matter of weeks he'll be leaving to persue his dreams as a journalist for a well known magazine in Japan, Yixing is going back to China and surely everyone else is staying on a nearby town. He can't wait to be on a plane, away from all the pain his best friend's happiness brings him and the thought is so selfish that Kyungsoo forrows his brow at his reflection in the mirror. At first Kyungsoo was insanely happy for them, Jongin is someone he loves and Baekhyun has been his friend since Kyungsoo had some sort of conscience, how could he not be happy for them? Maybe he was just turning into an old bitter man. He never had a boyfriend and no one ever seemed interested in him enough to ask him out and after so many years and hearing many promesies of "the right one will come along", he just felt so sour about everyone finding love but him.

Kyungsoo finally gets to sit on his bed, his legs are a little bit sore, they were running the whole day, no rest since they arrived at 9 AM sharp. Emotionally exhausted from watching so many displays of affection between the love of his life and his best friend and at that point, he just had to close his eyes to fall into deep sleep.

-

It was Christmas eve, two years ago, Kyungsoo had been reluctant of attending one of Sehun's famous parties and after a whole year, being friends with Jongin was no longer as painful as the first months, eager to be closer to him. Jongin was so comfortable around everyone that he didn't mind Sehun haging from his neck of Chanyeol's overly friendly hugs to anyone in his way. Sehun lifted a cup of glass with small folded papers in it calling everyone's attention, the music was ly a little bit down so he didn't really have to scream.

"Let's play spin the bottle" He slurred.

Sehun's parties were famous because he only invited his closest friends and who wouldn't want to be Sehun's friend? He was the funnest, the loudest, definetly the most popular of them all. And even if no one wanted to say it out loud because Sehun's ego was already as big as the Earth, he was the prettiest.

"Inside this cup," Sehun continued, "I have dares, you read it, you do it and then fold the paper and put it back" He sat down on the floor, the bottle of beer in front of him and only a few seconds later everyone else was making a cirle around it.

And from drink a full beer to eat a spoon of mustard, it was fally Kyungsoo's turn to spin the bottle, it landed on himself an achievement that only Kyungsoo with his bad luck could acomplish.

"Well, am I lucky or what?" Kyungsoo said as he searched inside the cup Sehun had handed to him, he was quickly interrupted by Sehun for peeking.

"You have to close your eyes" Sehun seemed about to snatch the cup away so Kyungsoo did as he was told but only after rolling his eyes.

Kyungsoo wished he could pick an easy one, something about beer or maybe even allow them to draw something on his face. Kyungsoo pulled one out and opened it, reading the content quickly and folding it back. Blood rushed to his face and he looked up, everyone's eyes were on him, Jongin was smiling widely and Kyungsoo felt extremely dizzy.

"Read it out loud!" Baekhyun said eagerly.

But Kyungsoo's mouth was dry and his throat ached. Suddenly he wasn't drunk enough to play this game. Sehun ripped the paper away from Kyungsoo's sweaty hands, Jongins eyes were still fixed on him surely curious when he and Kyungsoo made eye contact again he winked.

"Make out in the closet with the person sitting in front of you" Sehun's voice got louder in the end, he laughed throwing his head back, seemingly excited and the other boys cheered.

Kyungsoo was known for being the , the chaste. They had joked many times of how weird it'd be to see Kyungsoo with a boyfriend but that didn't stop them from wanting to see Kyungsoo with a boyfriend. He buried his face in his hands, maybe if he pretended to be drunk enough they would let him pass but all of a sudden he was being pulled up from his spot on the floor by a strong hand, in the middle of the chaos that the action provoked he heard Jongin say, "Let's do it".

A soft smirk on his face as Kyungsoo followed him as if he were in autopilot. He was trying to comprehend what just happened with teary eyes and red checks, everyone could swear Kyungsoo has horrified.

They walked into Sehun's closet as the later said they only had 3 minutes. Jongin closed the door and found Kyungsoo's hands in the dark.

Maybe he was dreaming, maybe he drank so much that he actually passed out in the bathroom. The warmth of Jongin's hand on his cheek proved him wrong. He wasn't dreaming, but he could pass out from the feeling of having Jongin so close, indescribable. Electricity running up and down his back and arms, gosebumps showing on the skin in his arms and probably legs, every part of him was stiff and somehow ready to give in at any moment, Jongin was leaning in so slowly that maybe that lost them one whole minute, he was now caresing the back of Kyungsoo's arms, as if he knew the shorter male was about to fall,  he was expecting this kiss so much that it was okay if the time was gone as they touched their lips. As Jongin got closer Kyungsoo felt the wall against his back, he hadn't noticed that he was retreating from Jongin's approach until that happened.

"I'm not going to bite you," Jongin said airly, laughing and Kyungsoo could only laugh before leaning forward.

They finally kissed, slow and steady, as inexperienced as Kyungsoo was he only allowed Jongin to take the lead. No matter how many times he imagened this moment, it felt way better. Jongin's lips were full and soft, tender as he pressed them against Kyungsoo's, he could describe it as magical. One year fantasy come to life in a matter of minutes, the heat rising from his chest all the way to his face, he was for sure blushing madly. He lifted his hands cuping Jongin's face, stepping away from the wall and closer to Jongin. Can this last forever?, Kyunghsoo thought.

"Time's up!" Sehun screamed.

And the answer is no.

Jongin pulled away with a soft smile and opened the door after carresing his cheek, as much as Kyungsoo wanted to stop him, that would be weird.

They walked out, everyone was so excited about Kyungsoo getting his first kiss that at this point Kyungsoo still in a daze was only hoping no one would say it out loud. Too drunk to remember where they were sitting they all ended up switching places, Kyungsoo was next to Jongin too aware of the male's body heat, his smell and everything about him. So awkward, yet it made him feel tingly.

A few moments later and after watching Chanyeol slide an ice cube into his underpants, Yixing razor half of his left eyebrow, Sehun eat mustard - again -, Jongdae recieve 3 slaps on the face and Baekhyun drawing a on Junmyeon's face, it was finally his turn to spin the bottle again, the bottle landed on Baekhyun and Kyungsoo was secretly hoping he would pick the "eat a spoon of mustard" one because he knew how much Baekhyun hated mustard, something worth watching, but instead that night of Christmas eve, in a party he was oblied to attend, Do Kyungsoo sealed his own destiny. When he unfolded the paper and read aloud, "make out with the person sitting in front of you".

Everyone exploded in a fit of laugh.

"Two in a row," Jongdae said as he pushed Jongin from the side so hard that Kyungsoo was also shoved.

Baekhyun stood confidently and with a wink he offered Jongin a hand. He laughed and stood up with Baekhyun's help.

Kyungsoo watched the events unfold in front of him unable to say or do a thing to stop them. His mind was blank, he couldn't feel a thing. A thought in his mind repeated like a mantra it's okay, it's just a game, but when 3 minutes passed by and they didn't come out of the closet Kyungsoo knew he was screwed.

-

Saturday morning rolls in slowly, everyone is still asleep at 12 PM, the sun shining brightly through the windows. Kyungsoo is eating cereal at the kitchen table, waiting for any sign of life coming from his friends upstairs, but it's been two hours since he woke up and they don't seem to be waking up anytime soon. He can't blame them, they all drank way more than Kyungsoo did, but then again he was never one to drink much. Jongin walks in shirtless, his hair messy and eyes puffy, he looks at Kyungsoo with one eye open as he scratches the back of his head.

Kyungsoo isn't sure if Jongin can notice how he blushes at the sight, he hopes it's not noticeable, either way Jongin might be too sleepy to do so. Kyungsoo fixes his eyes on his bowl, half empty, taking full spoons of cereal in a rush to finish quickly.

"You shouldn't be eating cereal, Chanyeol is making lots of food for all of us later" Jongin says as he steals Kyungsoo a spoon of cereal with one he grabbed from a drawer close to them.

"When he wakes up at 4 PM..." Kyungsoo jokes and Jongin laughs loudly, because he knows it's true that Chanyeol is a heavy sleeper, "They were all saying we were going to have a nice weekend but in reality they just want to get drunk and sleep a lot".

"We all want that, it's been a though last year of college" Jongin reminds him and Kyungsoo nods in silence.

"At least it's all over," Kyungsoo mutters in a low voice while staring at his now empty bowl, more to himself than for Jongin to hear, and meaning it in more ways than just the studying.

Jongin sighs, resting against the counter in front of Kyungsoo, his torso in full display for the other male to admire, he's not doing it on purpouse but yet it seems like an invitation. After a small pause, Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin's face and the male is staring at him. He blushes and this time he knows Jongin is going to notice but he can't help it, he hopes the other blames it on Kyungsoo's shyness.

"What?" Kyungsoo stands up walking towards the sink to place the bowl.

"I can't believe you're leaving," Jongin says leaning into the table to stare closer at Kyungsoo.

"Well, Yixing is leaving too and my dream is finally coming to life" Kyungsoo says with a smile because that's exactly what Baekhyun said in teary eyes as Kyungsoo dropped the news to everyone two days ago, letting the water run before he starts washing his bowl. Jongin shakes his head smiling, probably remembering that moment too.

"But you are Do Kyungsoo, I never could've guessed that you'll be the one to leave first..." It sounds as a sad statement, even if it should hurt Kyungsoo's feelings, deep down he knows that's reality and maybe if