Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
But keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness

- The Only Exception, Paramore

I stared at the child who stared at me, her pigtails swinging from her previous movement when Doyoung told me to get in the car. I blinked at her, wondering who she was but knew better than to ask Doyoung so I found myself going to the front seat as Doyoung strapped her to her car seat. I looked at her silently from the front and she stared back, her big eyes curious.

“Guess where we’re going today,” Doyoung said to me but I was having a staring competition with the child behind me. “Hello? Is something wrong?”

“U-Uh… no. Where?” I asked, the young girl throwing her hands in the air, demanding that we go soon or the amusement park will close. “The amusement park?”

“Sunny gave you the answer,” Doyoung said and the young girl began to sing to herself. “Sunny, this is Auntie Simon. Introduce yourself, please.”

“My name is Sunny and I am 5 years old. I am the daughter of Mr. Moon Tae-il. I live in N-City, Seoul, block 43, house number 222/34. I study in Shinee Elementary school,” she recited. “If I am lost, please take me to the nearest police station and call—”

“Okay, okay. That’s enough. You’re not lost.”

“She must get lost a lot?” I asked Doyoung who chuckled, driving the car out of the entrance of my apartment.

“My sister babysits her a lot so I guess her energy rubbed off on the child. You know Tae-il, right? He’s a few years your senior. He was in SM, too.”

“Moon Tae-il? The one who started the Innovative and Entrepreneur club that Jung Jaehyun later took over?” I asked, Doyoung nodding. “I’ve heard of him and seen him around, but I’ve never actually talked to him before.”

“He’s an awkward one. He just went through a divorce so I guess things are a bit rocky at home for the little one. I wanted to give him some time to rest.” Doyoung said, Sunny snoozing. “She woke up early today because she was too excited. Tae-il told me that she demanded to get changed at 5 am. Look at her.”

I found myself smiling as the child sniffed in her sleep, Doyoung speeding down the high way. I coughed, my eyebrows furrowing when I too, felt a wave of exhaustion. It was weird to feel my body deteriorate and I tried to hide it, leaning backwards just to close my eyes.

“Rest. I’ll tell you when we reach there,” Doyoung told me and it wasn’t long before I tried to calm my breathing, Doyoung putting on the radio to drown us in music. As I closed my eyes, a part of me couldn’t help but worry and I shifted in my seat when I felt a heavy material on my body.

Opening my eyes, I saw that Doyoung had placed a hoodie on me, the male spreading out the material softly.

“Thank you,” I said to him, Doyoung keeping his eyes on the road.

“How’re you feeling these days?” he asked carefully.

“I’ve been fine.” I told him and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to be reminded of the time limit I had. “A little bit weaker than I was yesterday, but I’m fine. I hope you have my funeral speech ready.”

I tried to crack a joke but Doyoung didn’t seem humored by it.

“Isn’t it better if you go and see a doctor?” he asked and I shook my head.

A failing heart is a failing heart.

There was only one way for survive it and I didn’t have the resources.

“It’s a long time coming, Doyoung. All we have to do is wait.”

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When we reached the amusement park, Sunny’s burst of energy could be seen since she got her fair share of sleep in the car. I watched the child run towards the mascot in full speed, her dress bouncing up and down. Her pink clips glittered brightly under the sun and Doyoung followed her, one of his hands going to my wrist to pull me along with him.

It was getting more natural each day and there would be moments when I would think of the story and what I would write when I reach home and find myself wanting to write the real events. It didn’t seem like it would be fiction anymore.

And it scared me.

“Sunny! I need to go get tickets first. Stay with your Auntie,” Doyoung said and I immediately sat down by one of the resting tables. The young girl moved to me almost obediently, her hands playing with a small tag around her neck. When I squinted at it, I saw that it had her name, her location and Moon Tae-il’s phone number.

“Why are you with Uncle Doyoung?” the child suddenly asked, leaning on the chairs. “Are you going to marry him?”

Well, that was blunt.

I shook my head.

“I’ve never seen you around before.”

“I’m a friend,” I told her and she frowned.

“Uncle Doyoung never brings his friends around like this,” she pointed out, a hand going to poke my stomach. “Are you his secretary?”

“No.”

“So, it means you’re going to marry him,” she pointed out and I sighed.

“Look, kid. I’m dying. Your uncle is just being a kind man and making sure I fulfill my last wish.” I dragged my eyes away from her, hoping Doyoung would come back soon. No wonder some people didn’t want to have kids, they talked to much.

I heard a sniffle.

Looking back at Sunny, I saw that her big eyes were brewing with tears and her bottom lip stuck out.

“What—”

“You’re dying?” she asked, her voice an octave higher. “Why are you dying?”

I blinked.

“Uh…” I saw a big fat tear slide down her cheek and she began to sob. “My heart—it’s… No, no. Don’t cry. I mean—”

“Don’t die,” she squeaked, a hand going to wipe away her tears. “You can take my heart if you need it… But I think it may be a little too small for you.”

Other than the fact that I made her cry, her selflessness stunned me for a moment, the child continuing to speak.

“If people die, they go away. Daddy said death is beautiful but I think death is lonely.”

I don’t know what Moon Tae-il fed his child, but whatever is was, he was raising one heck of a Shakespeare.

“I’m fine...” I managed to say when I heard Doyoung’s voice.

“Sunny? Why are you crying?”

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She was okay after a few bites of cotton candy, also demanding that I go on the merry-go-round with her. I couldn’t go on the scary rides b