Chunji - Namjoo - One member of Teentop/Teen Top

I looked blankly outside the window. As usual, I was waiting for you while clutching on to your silver star necklace. I miss you. Don’t you miss me too? It’s been 2 years now and I’m still waiting for you.

How have you been? Are you happy? Do you still wear that beautiful smile of yours like you usually do? Are you still afraid of heights and insects? Have you been eating well? Do you miss me? Do you still love me?

I’ve been asking you so many questions but none of them got an answer. Joo-ah, I miss you so much. When can you go home? When can you see me? When will you ever sleep in my arms again? When will I ever see your smile again? When can I kiss you again? When will you come back?

It’s been 2 long and painful years. It’s been sad and dull and cold. Without you, I can’t smile nor live a happy life. I tried not to wait for you but I just can’t resist you, I have to wait for you. My parents told me to give up and move back to Seoul, I refused because I know you’ll be back. They told me you already left me, but I didn’t believe them. They told me that you’re not going to come back to me again, I didn’t believe them. I only believe in you and us. Joo-ah, When will you come back?

“Chunji-ah, please stop waiting at the window.” There goes my umma again. She wants me to quit on you, you know I would never do that. I will never quit on you, Joo-ah. I love you so much to quit on you.

“Ani umma. I won’t stop. I will never stop until she comes back again.” I spat at her. I know you don’t want me to be rude to them, you told me that but they just want me to quit on you. If it’s you we’re talking about, that’s a different subject.

“Please stop tiring yourself.” She said it again. She kept on saying me that. I’m not tired! I will never get tired. It will be all worth the wait after I hug you and snuggle with you.

“Please stop hurting yourself. Chunji, she won’t come back to you again.” I had enough. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want her to say it. Remember Namjoo, I will never be tired of waiting for you. I will never give up on you.

I put your necklace in my pocket. I walked away from her with my hands covering my ears. I don’t want to hear her words. I don’t want to. Whatever happens, I will still be waiting for you.

I went to our front porch. I looked at the blue sky. I enjoyed the view while waiting for you. I know you’ll enjoy it too. Too bad, you’re not here right beside me. I miss you, Joo-ah. Come back as soon as possible, ok? I took out your necklace from my pocket and looked at it.

Then, I closed my eyes, put your necklaces on my hand and waited for you.

“Chunji-ah! Yah! Pabo-yah! Wake up, you sleepy head.” I was greeted by a beautiful face. A face that belongs to my dear girlfriend, Kim Namjoo. You smiled at me and waved. I smiled back and went to you.

“I missed you so much. When will you come back?” I asked you. You broke the hug and held my hands. You drew circles on my knuckles using your thumb. Your other hand was softly caressing my cheek. I looked at you, you’re tearing up. Why? What did I do to you to make you cry? Joo-ah, please stop crying. Please smile.

“Joo-ah, why are you crying? Is something wrong?” I asked you. You weakly smiled as you slowly shook your head. Your nose is starting to turn into a shade of red. You sniffed and smiled at me.

“Chunji-ah, please tell me you’re gonna forget me. Please tell that you’ll quit on me. Please just abandon me.” You said, still crying. Why are you telling me this? Are you serious? No, I will never-

“Please forget about me. Please erase me in your life. Please do that… for me.” And you disappeared like a bubble. I… I was also crying. I was speechless. I was broken and hurt.

I fell on my knees and began to sob. Then, my surroundings slowly turned black. It’s just like my life, without you… It turns black. It becomes lifeless.

“Kim Namjoo! Please come back!”

I woke up with beads of sweat on my forehead & temples. I looked from right to left, there was still no sign of you.

I sighed and went in to a deep thought. How can you say that to me? How can you say that I should just quit waiting for you and forget about you? How can you say that I should just erase you in my life? How can you say such things? I know you love me too; but why do you have to say that. I looked at your necklace, it was still in my hands. Thank God. I don’t want to lose it so I’ll keep it in my pocket.

Just then, I saw Yookyung and Hayoung walking, on their way to somewhere I guess. They saw me looking and waved at me. I waved back. They went to me and decided to have a little talk.

“Hey Chunji oppa!” The two girls said in chorus. I know you miss hanging out with your bestfriends, why don’t you come back and hang out with them.

“Are you girls off to somewhere?” They nodded their heads. I remembered the first time we met each other. You were with Bomi and Hayoung. We smiled at each other and you blushed. I miss you. Let’s reminisce memories together, shall we?

“Where?” Hayoung looked at Yookyung. They exchanged looks. I didn’t understand why. Finally they answered back, “To the mall.” Yookyung said. I nodded in understanding and the two girls left.

I sat again on my chair. Beside the chair is another chair. Remember the time when the both of us were sitting here and promising each other that we will grow old together. Remember? I won’t give up on you. We will still fulfill our promises to each other. We will still get married, have beautiful kids that looks like you and we’ll grow old together. We’ll be happy.

Namjoo-ah, you know what? There is something about today that makes me sad. I don’t know what it is. This day is just like any other day. It starts then it passes by. Namjoo-ah, can you tell me what it is so I can see you also?

While I was waiting for you, my friends came by. Minsoo hyung, Byunghun, Niel, Changhyun & Jonghyun. Why are they here anyways? Are they going to tell me good news or bad news?

“What’s up, hyung?” I asked Minsoo hyung. “Chunji hyung, today’s- Aish! I can't say it! Chunji hyung might get hurt!” Niel said.

“Pabo! It’s been 2 years already. He should’ve moved on by now. Just tell him!” Byunhun said as he wacked Niel’s head. “Why don’t you say it to him so we can go to the damn cemetery!” Niel spat.

“What’s going on? Why are you guys going to the cemetery? What’s happening. Can someone explain?” I asked them. It’s so confusing. Namjoo-ah, do you know what’s happening?

“Actually hyung, all 6 of us are going to the cemetery to pay our respects to…” Niel carefully explained. Namjoo-ah, who died? Is it someone related to them or to me? Jo-ah, I’m confused.

“We’re going to the damn cemetery to visit Namjoo!” Byunghun suddenly said. “There. I said it. Now let’s go.” They turned their backs at me. They’re already going to the cemetery.

“Wait! What are you guys saying? Namjoo’s not dead. She’s just living far away from here. She’s coming back and I know that.” I said to them. Byunghun rolled his eyes. The two maknaes looked at me apologetically. Niel was just silent and Minsoo hyung was looking at me.

“AISH! YAH! LEE CHANHEE! KIM NAMJOO’S DEAD FOR 2 YEARS ALREADY!” Byunghun shouted at me. I stood up and pushed him. Namjoo, you’re not dead, right? You’re just far away that’s why you can’t go home early. I’m still waiting for you.

Minsoo hyung prevented us from hurting ourselves. “Chanhee, If you don’t want to go. It’s alright. We’ll just go to the cemetery and pay our respects to her. You can go alone if you want. Today’s her death anniversary.” And with that, Minsoo hyung and the others walked away to go to your grave.

I sighed. Is it true, Namjoo? You’re already dead? You really are dead.

Author’s POV

Chunji cried and cried. It’s like starting from day one when he saw Namjoo’s lifeless body.

He knows that Namjoo is dead but he just bared in his mind that she’s alive to give hope for his life. Chunji did all sorts of suicide attempts just to be with Namjoo. But every single attempt fail. That’s when he believed that Namjoo is the one preventing him from those. To stop himself from attempting suicide again and to make Namjoo rest from protecting him. He buried in his mind that she’s still alive. She was just away, far away from him. But he believes that she’ll come back again.

It was effective. Yes, he went back to the old Chunji. He’s been doing it for 2 years now.

When Chunji already calmed himself, it was already night time. Today, was the day Namjoo got in to the car accident. The day that she was taken by God from him. The day he’s been avoiding.

He changed in to his black casual clothes and went outside. The night was silent, like him. He missed her so much. He missed her smiles, her aegyo, her laughs, her everything.

He arrived at her gravestone.

Chunji’s POV

Kim Namjoo

April 15, 1995 – February 20, 2011

I put my flowers to your gravestone. I exhaled hard to take all the pain away and began to talk to you.

Hey there, Joo-ah. Sorry for being late. You thought I forgot about this date, right? Of course not. This date is the worst date in my life. This date was so dreadful 2 years ago and up until now.

Namjoo-ah, sorry for being such a coward. Sorry being such a cry baby. I know you want me happy. I’m trying, I’m trying to be happy. Sorry for not letting you go. Sorry for everything that I have done wrong that made you upset in heaven. Namjoo-ah, please don’t forget about me. Please take care of me.

Joo-ah, you know I love you right? I know that you feel the same towards me, but how can you resist me? Why won’t you show yourself to me. Yes, you just did but I don’t want that kind of meeting wherein you have to crush my soul just so I can let you go.

Namjoo-ah, I’ll never give up on us. So please, Please come back. Joo-ah, If you can hear me, Please come back. If you can’t come back, then I’ll follow you there. I’ll go there, for you. Every single day for me here is hell without you. I feel pain all over. So please Namjoo-ah, if you want this pain to stop; if you want me to smile again; if you want me to be truly happy, please take me with you.

I took my time to be with you in the presence of your gravestone, then I left you. Don’t worry, I’ll still visit you.

While I was walking home I was looking at your necklace then, I saw a couple of gangsters. This is not good.

They saw me and began running after me. I ran and ran until I ended up on a small aisle which is already a dead end.

“W-what do you want?” “You’re money.”

They went closer and closer. The guy who seems like the leader saw your necklace. It looks like he likes it. I hid it behind my back.

“What’cha hiding there? Huh?! Give it to me!” he shouted. I don’t want to give it that’s why I pushed them to make way for me to run away to.

They ran towards me. Oh god. I was running and running until I was out of breath. I stopped for a while, then BLACK.

I opened my eyes and saw white. The surrounding was all white. I saw a beautiful pair of eyes looking at me. I noticed, it was you. This was more real than the dream. Is this real?

I hugged you tightly. If this only happens once, then I should treasure it while it lasts.

“Silly oppa, It’s not like you’re going to go far away from here. You’ll still get a lot more hugs.” She said with a giggle. “Huh?” I was confused.

“Silly oppa, we’re going to be with each other forever. I listened to your wish. We’re going to be with each other forever now. Except, we can’t grow old-“ I hugged her tight. She was obviously taken back by surprise. “O-oppa…” “I love you.” She hugged me back and snuggled on my neck and shoulder. “I love you too.”

______________________________

2250 words! Oh god. XD What do you guys think? :3 Please comment it down~ <3 Poster is made by me though. XD