You can read this on AO3 if you prefer reading it there: xxx
 

It was supposed to be a normal leisurely walk in the park to get fresh air. He had been sedentary at the laboratory for far too long, and frankly, growing colonies of bacteria for your thesis does get repetitive. All the sitting for hours also gets your muscles stagnant. However, things don’t go as planned when you’re Kyungsoo. It did not turn out to be just a normal walk in the park.

Of all things his friend had to be right about, it had to be this. ‘ Don’t trust him, he had history.’ Kyungsoo do not want to look too much into the history of people, he’s not one to judge a person out of the worst thing they’ve done. Not everything is black and white, he would say. Everything is in monochrome. Well, now he’s got only himself to blame for being too trusting. What’s it with him and his romantic notion on ‘fixing people’, now look what that brought him, he’s the one shattered. 

He gave him all his love, gave him his second chance at trying to be a good person for someone, for him. Not everything though goes from point a to point b with no complications. Everything was already in disordered lines before Kyungsoo could see it. He had to find it out the hard way. There were warnings from his friends, but he did not believe them. He would say that he always look for the good within people, but he also had been so arrogant to believe he won’t be cheated on. That he’s the one who finally ‘tamed’ the heart of someone who had previously been so volatile.

How pathetic.

Jokes on him, not everything is smooth sailing. He had been so naive. He knew that then He wasn’t even in love, at least he’s sure he’s not, but everything is still so painful. It is palpable and he’s not even sure if his heartbeat is beating the rate it should be.  He had been betrayed and had been lied to.

At first he doubted if he saw it right, he had only seen the tattoo he’s boyfriend got as he was kissing another man. The kiss got deeper and Kyungsoo felt like he was intruding the privacy of an intimate moment, so he looked away. When Kyungsoo looked back though, he saw his boyfriend’s face clearly. He was holding the other guy’s hand, they look like a happy couple like how they would look too if he was with him instead. His boyfriend was so good at faking his expression.  He did not saw him, and Kyungsoo was frozen in place and he had to will his mind to move and hide.

Kyungsoo was not one for confrontation, but he would not excuse his boyfriend no more. This was no longer his friends giving him eyewitness account; this was already him seeing the act. His boyfriend is cheating on him. No more glossing around it, or defending him saying it could have been another person. It’s his boyfriend kissing another man and holding his hand on public. He would both be too dumb and too smart if he could think of any another excuse. 

Kyungsoo did not see the other man clearly, but Kyungsoo was sure he’s taller than him and more mature than him. Kyungsoo was sure of that, his boyfriend often kept saying he sometimes act like a puppy who needs love. Kyungsoo back then wasn’t sure if that’s a positive thing or a negative thing, but he’ sure now. It’s not his fault he always need validation in love, he had always been a sap. 

Kyungsoo bit his lips as he walked aimlessly to calm his nerves. His stupor dragged his feet through the pavement.  At first he felt numb then he felt denial rushing in, but there’s no longer use in feeling that when he had been on that stage already for far too long. Maybe he had already somehow believed it when his friend first told him about the supposed cheating. He was just stubborn.

He wanted to go to his friends for comfort, but maybe he’ll get I-told-you-sos from them and Kyungsoo’s mind is too jumbled of a mess to receive those words without feeling worse than he already is. He just needed a hug. A long big hug.

And with that, he saw a group of people crowding near a fountain on the park. Kyungsoo walked slowly putting his hands on his pocket as he looked at the faces of the people.  There were more girls than necessary, giggly and noisy. There were a group of man holding placards as some girl would go towards them and hug them, some of their friends would take pictures or videos of them hugging the boys. Kyungsoo walked closer in placid steps as he read what was printed on the sign.

One hug for a dollar.

Well, that is expensive. Why would you give a dollar for a hug? Kyungsoo would not say he’s cheap, just practical. He looked at the guys and recognized them as the volleyball team of their school. He did not know any of them, he had never been interested in sports, but he recognized them collectively. It’s kind of like a boyband he’s not a fan of but popular enough for him to recognize as a whole.

“Hello there, do you want a hug?” A girl with a bright smile approached him, flashing the sign in front of him, pointing at the volleyball team. “Guys are allowed to hug too. I’m Sooyoung, the team’s assistant coach.”

Kyungsoo looked at the volleyball club then to Sooyoung’s bright smile, it’s too saccharine for the depressive thoughts creeping into him. It’s at least nice to see someone smiling.

“It’s for a cause. We’re gonna donate all the funds we’ve raised for charity.”

He’s also going to be philanthropist, would you look at that.

It was a good day, the best weather to nurse his broken heart, he would say. Not too sunny, and the air not too cool. The sun was just shyly peeking behind the clouds and the air was just giving simple pats of breeze. The volleyball team looked like handsome nice guys and what is he going to lose but money he knew would go to charity? Kyungsoo shrugged, fished a dollar from his wallet, and gave it to the assistant coach. He walked towards the volleyball team with no other thought but to get the hug he desperately needed.

He doesn’t care if he’ll get it from a stranger, so be it.  

All of the volleyball team are currently occupied. When one girl stopped hugging this one guy with his back on him, Kyungsoo walked briskly to grab the hug. He did not wait for the blushing girl to talk to the guy, he needed his hug fast and he’s getting desperate. He felt like he’s about to cry, remembering his boyfriend holding another man intimately. He pulled the athlete, he saw a number 88 printed on polyester before hugging him fully.

He could hear the girl who previously hugged the athlete whining, but all those noise lulled down into background static when he could feel warm heat encasing his body. Kyungsoo closed his eyes. The girl must have stomped away because no one was pulling him away from the athlete as he could feel hands encasing his form. It felt nice.

“You seemed too eager for a hug.” He could hear the voice from above him say. The guy chuckled, Kyungsoo feeling the vibration of the laugh. 

Kyungsoo kept his eyes close, burying his head on the guy’s shoulder. Kyungsoo does not want to be creepy but he could smell the guy, and he smelled so good. There’s the smell of fabric softener with the smell of cinnamon and a hint of rosewood. He does not care if he’s a stranger, he’s a great hugger. Kyungsoo now considered that paying a dollar might now be too cheap for this. The guy was rubbing the top of his back comfortingly and Kyungsoo did not want to separate from him, but alas, he could hear some irritated voice behind him. Kyungso opened his eyes and looked behind him. There seemed to have been a growing line of annoyed girls.

Or maybe the line was already there but he just failed to notice when he grabbed the athlete?

Kyungsoo looked back up and saw the guy who he hugged for the first time, he was smiling at him.

“I’m sorry, I just needed a hug. I did not realize there was a line.” Kyungsoo blushed. The guy looked handsome, no wonder a lot of people are paying to hug him. Why was he even so needy for a hug? His boyfriend, maybe ex boyfriend now, was right. He‘s someone who craved for affection. His constant need for love and assurance