“I want to kiss you.”

 

I almost choked.

 

The rushing in my ears is too loud for any sort of coherence. Sehun smiled at my obvious nerves. He tilted his head slightly forwards, keeping his eyes locked on mine. Is he messing with me? What is this, some sort of a dare? Is that why he’s here?

 

Something in between of a gasp and a squeak escaped my mouth in my attempt to conjure a response, completely betraying the little composure I had. I chewed on my bottom lip to stop anything like that from coming out again.

 

My chest was thrumming with a new sensation.

 

It wasn’t tight.

 

Not constricted exactly. Not even close. But a kind of eruption, like a transient colourful supernova. My heart, at present, felt like a stranger’s; unrecognisable with every passing beat. Undeniably, it felt wrong, like I was shoplifting in broad daylight, but I was stealing from a big corporate so the guilt wasn’t convincing me to do right.

 

“Can I?” I watch as Sehun’s tongue swipe at his lower lip, dumbfounded. Nothing comes to mind fast enough; any thought blubbers away with my head repeating echos of Sehun’s words… he wants to kiss me. 

 

My breath hitched, coming out as a croak and it snaps me back to reality. As I turn my head away from Sehun, afraid I will be lulled in a daze yet again, I settle on my deduction that this is simply how he strings girls along. I admit he is charming, more than easy on the eyes. He knows it himself. But I cannot shake off the guilt that has rose no matter how little. 

 

I would be doing Yixing wrong if I complied.

 

Hell, my conscience is already guilty for entertaining Sehun long enough. My mouth dried. Yixing would have never let a girl go this far with him. 

 

“You need to go.” I said what I thought was the right thing to do. There are a lot of girls downstairs he could easily drag into his own mess, add to his bodycount, or whatever it is he does. Plenty would dive head first to replace me in this situation. Above and beyond that, I cannot afford hurting the one man that has ever given me a chance to experience love, loyalty and trust. Yixing deserves the same. 

 

Sehun blinked at me, his lips slowly curling to a smile. “This is the first time.” 

 

For a moment I didn’t understand what he said. It did not take me long to realise he meant that this is the very first time he got rejected, but that shouldn’t be an excuse for him to look so encouraged.

 

“You took my rejection ity, Kim Jieun.” 

 

My eyebrows knitted to the middle. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds like I you.”

 

Sehun snorted. “It wouldn’t be if I enjoyed it.” His mumbled speech did not go unheard by me, causing a flush to warm my cheeks. 

 

This guy is relentless, I should have known. 

 

“ off, Oh Sehun.”

 

—-

 

 

"What did you say?" Baekhyun squeals. He is too loud, far too loud. As always, he stopped by my locker for the Monday morning update, which has been the norm ever since god knows when. It has gotten to the point where the owners of the surrounding became somewhat my acquaintances, knowing a little too much about me for my comfort, after eavesdropping.

 

I harrumphed. “What am I meant to say?” The organised clutter in my locker never fails to irk me. I ought to clean it up some time soon before I can no longer fit my books in and having to carry them all already sounds taxing.

 

“Yes.” 

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I have a boyfriend.” I said as a matter of fact.

 

Baekhyun promptly corrects me. “Ex-boyfriend.” His neat eyebrows perked, challenging me to articulate a better reasoning for Saturday’s incident. I wish I could say that the near kiss I had with one of the most vied for male in the campus excited me, or that a sense of adventure took hold of me with each second that passed. But really I was mostly in a daze of confusion and obsessing over its consequences. What would Yixing do if I did kiss Sehun?

 

I carried on stuffing my locker with materials for today’s classes and picking out the ones I need for my first class. I’m not even sure what Baekhyun is really talking about now, but I know he is trying to be reassuring and excited for me.

 

“I just can’t believe you missed a chance with Sehun! You’re freshly single and hot. I just can’t believe it,” he contin