August 11 2020. I chuckles when I realized where I am. Its been five years already huh.. Five years, but the pain still feels like yesterday. Nothing change really. Every year, on the eleventh day of August, I always found myself coming here in Camp Hiraya. It’s a tradition I made for myself.

They always said to me that “Past is past”. Like a mantra… and I’m getting sick of it. Camp Hiraya is my past that I need to live on. Camp Hiraya is became part of myself. People needs to understand that.

I sit here in the dark part of the island, behind the big rock, and away from the crowd. I don’t hate crowd. I don’t hate people. It just exhausting, really really exhausting.

Cold breeze of wind wraps my body. I looked up the sky, holding back the tears that tries to escape in my eyes. “No. No. No.. no…I’m not crying..” . I laugh. “Dahyunniee…just cry.” That voice… Its Sana. I shut my eyes and clenched my fist. No Sana… I’m not crying. Not this time, never again.

I stares at the sea. I love it here because everything about this place is Sana. The sea, the seashore, the trees, the wind and the name of this place itself reminds me of Sana. I laughs at the memory that suddenly came up to my mind. Sana always tell me that she is the seashore, on the other hand, I’m the wave. So that, whatever happens, I always found myself coming back to her. At first, I find it ridiculous. Sometimes her perspective made me dizzy, I don’t understand it. But now, it all make sense.

Reality snaps me when the sea already reach my feet. It must be already late. So despite of my weak knees, I gathers all my strength to go back to my tent. But before I could take a step, I hear a voice and whimpers somewhere nearby. I follow the voice and saw the back of a man, infront of him is a woman. I hid behind the rock and thanks to the moon, I can clearly see the couples ( I assumes they were couple because they look like one).

I want to go back to my tent but my body doesn’t cooperate. Also, I smell troubles since they looks like they’re fighting. So, I watched them until that man grabs the girl’s hair. I picked a stone to throw to that man but before I could throw it, I hesitates.

“Dahyunniee, the moment you hesitates, you lost.” then, I hear Sana… again.. But its not my business to meddle Sana, I thought. “You are better than that Dahyunnie…” its Sana again with her soft voice that I can’t resist.

“Sana…” I whisper before I step forward, finally. I walked towards them without hesitation. “Heyy… Who is he?” I smiled to the girl not minding the man and his confused face. “I’m her boyfriend!” said the boy angrily. I pretend that I didn’t hear what the boy says and just stared to the girl infront of me. I grab the girl’s hand and pull her closer to me.

“Sana.. I’ve been looking for you everywhere, I thought you are lost so I asked the guard to help me find you.. I got worried..” I gulped when I realized what was I just say. Really Dahyun? You just said Sana!! You messed it up!

I’m having a mental battle and the girl doesn’t answer so I’m nervous. She just looking at me like she doesn’t understand what is happening right now. “S-sana? I thought your name is Katarina?” Said again by the boy but this time, he were freaking out. “I-I lied.” for the first time, Sana, I mean Katarina speak up.

I grab my phone and took a photo of that guy. “You’re not her boyfriend and I’m showing it to the poli--” Before I could finish my sentence, the boy freak out and run away. I laughed. “Jerk.”

Katarina released her breathe like she was holding it for a long time but I can still feel tense on her body. “Hey.. Relax. He’s gone.” I laughed again while fixing her hair.

“C’mon. Let me walk you to your tent.” she just nod. I wonder if she’s uncomfortable with my presence or she still can’t get over with what happens earlier. So, we just walked with the awkward silence between us.

“Dahyuniee, you know I’m proud of you right?” My heart hurts when I heard Sana’s voice again. Since that day happens, whenever I’m alone or whatever situation I am facing, I kept hearing Sana’s voice. I can’t see her but I can still feel her, I can still heard her voice. I remember that I used to told her that she’s like the wind, because she do whatever she wants, she go to the place that she wants to go. Then, she laughed at me, saying that she must be really a wind.

The cold wind blows again, it sent shiver down to my spine. Maybe, Sana became a wind. She hugs me through the wind and she whispers through the wind for me to hear her voice.

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